My Son Just Doesn't Like Me
My adult son is breaking my heart. I am devastated. He has removed me from his life, but has given no reason for other than he "just doesn't like me." I haven't heard from him in over 3 years. I need to talk to others who have gone through this...please!
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---Gina on 4/21/05
Helpful Blog Vote (17)
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grief can cause heartache ...it's sad when the living cause grief to the living and sadder when adult children no longer honor their parents ...we live in end of age where hearts grow colder
I've never had this experience however having children of my own and legal custody of my husbands sisters children I can say if anyone of them did this to us we would not change ...If they refused to pickup phone we would call every few weeks leaving message letting them know thinking of them ...still send thoughtful cards inquiring about them and send money throughout the year as we have always done ...we would not be bitter or grieved to please them ...look away and up to God and LIVE and spread love to others praying HIS will to be done |
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---Rhonda on 9/16/09 |
not sure how long this was posted my wife and i had son who was gone for 4 years and came back we almost gave up please reply just came accross your blog, we have a adopted son who now is gone for 4 months it still hard |
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---todd on 9/15/09 |
It could be your son is having personal problems. Wait. He'll come around. When he does, be there for him. |
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---catherine on 7/4/09 |
Children do the most strangest and awful things and if you don't mind sharp you end up never having the relationship you've always look forwards to disappear before your very eyes.
Children don't need a reason they have their own mind made up and if you have not abused them in any way you can rest assured that one day with deep prayer and open doors they will return.
If not get in touch with them talk about what you did to upset him and work hard to help to make amends. I pray everything works out, Pray that's all we can do and leave it in Gods Hands. |
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---Carla3939 on 7/4/09 |
My oldest son was always a challenge. This strong-willed child would even open the door of the car and threaten to jump out if he didn't want to go to elementary school! His Dad & I (now married 30+ years) struggled long and hard, praying all the way for our "prodigal," and saw him beginning to turn his life around in his mid-twenties. Then he married his wife (a self-indulgent only child, bent on having her own way). Our son now works night & day to satisfy her whims and when he becomes stressed or frustrated, guess who he takes it out on? Me! His verbal assults became so painful and destructive to my emotional well-being that I had to stop communicating with him. This has been the case for nearly 4 months. |
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---Anne on 6/24/09 |
my son stop talking to me he is 21 years old,now i am guessing the reason is because i cut his strings ,i have done everything i know how to do for him until 20 when i realize he takjes total advantage of me,he says really hurtful things to me and i often wonder why he feels this way ,but he is very hard to talk to,so its been 3 months,i told him maybe he will feel different one day,its hard to imagine giving up yourself to take care of your child whom you expect to be grateful when older and it doesnt turn out that way,prayer ,prayer and more prayer is the only way to these hearts of our digruntled children,the bible said child against the parents ,so we have to fight back in the spirit and the victory will be ours |
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---sharyl on 6/6/09 |
Honey my heart goes out to you. This is a hard pill to swallow. Your own flesh and blood against you. It is hard for a mom to give up on her child but you may have to, eventually. He is a grown person who makes his own decisions. You must accept his decision. But do make sure you have done all you can to make peace with him and to let him know you do love him. God will work things out for you if you do the right thing toward him.I hope you are born again. |
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---Robyn on 12/22/07 |
Gina;I can empathize with you and share your pain.Exept briefly at funerals or weddings,my daughter,whom I love dearly, has not spoken to me in more than 20yrs.Not that she doesn't like me ,but for "religious" reasons. I've allways told her my door is allways open,but that's her choice.I try not to dwell on it! |
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---1st_cliff on 12/21/07 |
How was your relationship with your son before? Was he close or distant? If close, something happened. If distant, maybe that he feel he does not need you. That does not mean he hates you. |
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---Michael on 5/8/07 |
Have you been pushing him to be Chrisitan or something? Maybe he thinks your ignorant. Why don't you ask him abotu it. And sit and listen without inturupting |
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---Private on 8/13/06 |
I have come to the conclusion that it is the age - I don't get along with my teenage stepkids either, but then again, I didn't get along with my mom well when I was a teeneager. Teenagers are constantly doing things that draw attention to themselves. It drives you crazy - my kids are so impolite and disrespectful, but at least they aren't into drugs - something to be thankful for. |
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---mirdza on 3/21/06 |
Hi Gina My daughter is 15 going on 16 and she does not like me either! We have horrible battles of the will, she refuses to go to church! She does not see what God has blessed her with. And she is Piercing ever part of her body. She is angry at God! And going to the wrong road worshiping witchcraft etc. What makes matter's worse she is disabled handicapped. I will pray for you! |
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---angea7453 on 9/25/05 |
Gina: My son is 24 and doesn't like me either. I have concluded that we probably didn't do anything for them to be like this. Not everything is our fault. Sometimes, our kids just don't turn out the way we would like them to and sometimes they are confussed, angry or hurt and they misdirect their emotions toward us. It is devastating. Let's continue to be committed to praying and God will answer our prayers. Regards |
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---Rebecca on 9/24/05 |
I will respectfully disagree with Gina. You can't help grieving this loss--it's a normal human reaction, but know that God will soothe your grief and wipe the tears from your eyes.
Wait, pray for reconciliation, and have your door and heart open for your son. (Think of the Parable of the Prodigal Son--and how the father must have felt.) |
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---Jack on 5/30/05 |
Hello, Gina. I am not a mother but know how it is to hate a mother. I hated her because I felt that she loves me less than the rest of her eleven children. My brother felt the same way too. Now that I am older, my brother and myself realized that under the circumstances that my parents brought us up, that was the BEST that they could give us.It took time for us to realize that and I amsure it will take time for your son to realize that you love him. Just pray and wait. But please don't grieve. Grieving might not be good to your health. Happy Mother's Day! |
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---linda6546 on 5/8/05 |
Gina, I don't know what kind of a relationship you both have as a mother and son. I suggest that you need to find what went wrong in your relationship for him to behave like this toward his mother! A son just doesn't like his mother for no reason Ask God to help you with this. Only you, your son , and our father knows what has happened with the mother and son relationship.Pray to our father to touch your son's heart,and to give you answers.I feel so horrible for you. And I can't imagine my son and I not having a loving mother and son relationship.Silva 8589 |
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---silva on 5/1/05 |
I have the same situation with both of my adult sons. I have sent emails to them asking to hear how they are... maybe 2-3 times a year I would get something back... 2 sentences total if I was lucky. This last Christmas I sent them a big gift box. I received nothing from them. I did not get any emails from either and decided to wait until I did. Three months went by with nothing. I sent an email to them asking why they don't send me any messages... for all they knew I could have died! I still have no response from them and that was 2 months ago. The Lord will have to work in their hearts. |
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---Janet7433 on 5/1/05 |
Dear Gina,it may not be a problem with you at all.I know a woman who has gone through this and after a lot of praying and talking we have discovered the real problem was he has a jealous,insecure wife who needs to grow up,she was behind it,when we discovered that,we focused our praying on her and God has been able to melt her heart a little bit.Pray and believe for Gods will to be done,may he give you peace and blessing. |
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---RUSSELL on 4/30/05 |
there could be alot wrong in this situation.I have seen kids do this when on drugs( not saying he is) they will isolate themselves from family cause they dont want to hurt them or hear them criticize them for it. If this happened to me and my son , I would pray and fast daily and wait for an answer, I would have others in my church to pray too THERE IS POWER IN GROUPS PRAYING ..Matthew 18:19 ..Jan4876 ( I am praying for you and hurt with you) |
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---Jan on 4/29/05 |
your son no talk with me you make me son i need chrisitn mom reply my email addres |
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---Nadeem on 4/29/05 |
I don't know if it can help but I keep breaking my father's heart without wanting too. I met him when I was 4 and he was almost never there. I haven't seen him from age 10 to 20 and now he's back and wants us to have a super father-daughter relationship. The prob is that I have no idea how to interact with him! I'm really uncomfortable whenever he's around, I just don't know what to do so I kinda avoid him altogether. I know he's hurt but I believe that in time, God will give me the tools to deal with this and maybe we'll have a true relationship...Maybe your son is just like me... |
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---Cathy on 4/28/05 |
Gina, I been there. Maybe we expected to be too involved in their lives. At this age and married, they want independence. I TRULY believe your son will come around if you only contact him once a week or so..(email is excellent) small talk only. NO prying personal questions, comments or advise. Keep things light and intesting and dropped hints of happier times. After a time the hostility mellows and they will come around to being interested and caring. Take it easy, and be very patient. (Ps 66:18) PRAY about your motives and attitude first, then your sons. Write eloia4437 |
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---Eloia on 4/26/05 |
When my son married, out of the blue, he called me and told me that I needed to love his wife. I had never said anything bad to her or anyone else. He also cut me out of his life, as he was abusing her and didn't want me to know about it. He also excluded me from his new baby. Through prayer and heartache, I'm included now, so hang in there.
Don't take whats happening personal. It's nothing you've done. I'll be praying he 'turns around and faces you.' |
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---Paula on 4/26/05 |
I have not experienced this but I have seen my mum go through this with my elder sister.It could be quite devastating.I empathise with you.Throw the matter into God's hand and forget it there,dont even pray for it again and again so you dont reinvite the pain.Cry no more about it,and try geting closer to those that cherish you.It is not very easy,but that will be good for you.God can still turn things around but you dont have to dwell on it.God help you. |
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---ThankGod on 4/26/05 |
I have not experienced this but I have seen my mum go through this with my elder sister.It could be quite devastating.I empathise with you.Throw the matter into God's hand and forget it there,dont even pray for it again and again so you dont reinvite the pain.Cry no more about it,and try geting closer to those that cherish you.It is not very easy,but that will be good for you.God can still turn thihngs around but you dont have to dwell on it.God help you. |
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---ThankGod on 4/26/05 |
He is 29, married, with an 8-month old baby I have never been allowed to see, my only grandchild. Counseling helps but I need to know if any other Christian moms have gone through this, or just me? We were very close, but his dad was very distant. |
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---Gina on 4/24/05 |
I have never had a post disturb me as much as yours. I know you are devastated by your sons actions. I just fail to understand a son treating his mother like that. Pray for him that he would be saved. Dear lady, I will certainly pray for you. I can't imagine being in your shoes. |
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---shira_5965 on 4/21/05 |
I am so sorry for your pain. I hope that you have found a professional, pastor or counselor to help you work through this difficult situation. You cannot change your son, but you can still love him through this. My daughter did the same thing to me. She would not return any calls or accept mail her reason; we dont get along. I prayed everyday for her safety and my sanity. Prayers were answered a friend entered her life who helped her realize with work that we could have a beautiful relationship. God makes all things beautiful in His time. |
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---mary on 4/21/05 |
Gina, Is your son married? How old is he? Sometimes our grown kids get so involved trying their wings they don't stop to consider our feelings, or perhaps they've developed interests and values they know we wouldn't approve. My son married and it has greatly effected our relationship. They say a son is a son till he takes a wife. I think there is a LOT to that. Maybe that's how it should be. ?? |
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---a_mom on 4/21/05 |
Gina:You are tender hearted woman,like a bird with a broken wing,Time is a great healer, It was his decision to keep away so it is his problem,If you know his address, write & ask why,but in the meantime. pray to the mother of God & her son to comfort you,this could be your cross pick it up & follow him dont stop praying.I shall to.God bless you |
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---Emcee on 4/21/05 |
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