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How To Deal With Men Attention

I'm a hostess where I work, and I wear ankle length skirts according to my beliefs. I get alot of passes from guys on the way to the table, which I cope with professionally. Is there a better way than just trying to ignore it?

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 ---EJ on 4/23/05
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:-) Now I know why the Fox hunt is such an attractive sport in England (dont know if it is still prevalent)But the hunt is in the chase for the tail.I guess for some males this is just a sport.Hence the warning "watch out for the wolf in sheeps clothing""Whose afraid of the Big bad wolf"Ect ect.Wolves are described as ferocious animals compared with those of the underworld.
---Mic on 10/4/08


Dear Friend ,
Its not only your clothes that attract wrong attention but your body language and openness , if woman are friendly and open then men think they are available . BE brief in your interation don't smile much , be curteous not inviting .
Work in front of mirrior your daily interation and catch points where you can improve on your tone and body language . pretend to be aloof not friendly. You are there to serve not entertain
---amazingpassion on 10/2/08


Wear glasses.
You know what they say. Otherwise, just hand it back to them. Only tell them that you are expensive and can't keep your mouth shut so you would probably tell their wives at bridge. I only say this because I am an ornery extrovert. Truely, humor does work.
---Julie on 9/30/07


In Spain it is generally acceptible for young men to make a pirropo "light-hearted" comment about a young woman's looks. Normally "guapa" - "good-looking". It takes the intensity out of things. But would be considered mala leche (bad taste) to do it to a married or older woman.
Humour as long as it not flirting is good.
Above all talk to them like you were their sister, not a stranger. That will take the sting out of the situation. And after all you are thier sisiter.
---Ed on 4/1/07


Are you a Christian? [TRUE] If you are, keep your eyes on Jesus, then you won't notice. Most people gets the idea, unless they are stupid.
---catherine on 4/1/07




My Mother was incredibly just georgeous, my friends and every body payed her compliments, and people would just watch her, where ever we went. She was even more beautiful inwardly. She always made it known that she was a Christian, and would never encourage any more conversation she would look the other way and under her breath she'd be praying.
---Cynthia_1 on 3/31/07


Enjoy it while you can, because when you get older the attention will slow down eventually to a halt.
---Chris on 3/31/07


nvB You are quite right that some guys are more attracted to the girls who dress modestly. There are too possible reasons for that ... 1 there is greater possibility to imagine the parts that are hidden and lust after them, or ... 2 Maybe the guy is genuinely attracted to a modest girl, because that is the sort of lass he would like. Now I of course am the second kind!!
---alan8869_of_UK on 1/9/06


I'm sorry to say but wearing ankle length skirts is not enough and just ignoring them won't help.You must let them know you are a christian and you are not that type of women they think you are.But you must pray about this situation and pray for these lost men.Ignoring them might just make them act worse.You MUST let them know where you stand!If this continues,pray that God blesses you with another (SAFER) job.If you want to discuss this futher use my user name.God Bless You.
---benna5383 on 1/9/06


I am a good looking male. I work in the world and I use to get a reasonable amount of female attention - though women tend to be more discrete then men. But , when they knew I was a christian - they'd back off. Perhaps declaring your christianity to them will help them to view your differently (or not at all) - if the opportunity is there
---eric on 5/9/05




Some people are shall we say blessed with the ability to handle and cope with this very situation. Remember God does not intend to put something there that you cannot handle as in temptation to just go along with it. I have taught in church schools and in Japan a country with 1% Christianity in it. I enjoy wearing long skirts or dresses because it allows me more freedom of movement especially when sitting to where I can concentrate more on what I'm doing and saying then sitting and standing and that sometimes makes the differents in my witness to others in my classrooms. Sincerely, Audrey
---audre5455 on 4/30/05


Buy a cheap wedding band and flash it at those who flirt with you when you don't want them too.Men associate hostess'es and waitress'es with mother figures.It's more commom than you think.
---RUSSELL on 4/25/05


Paul_James, I agree: Notice my "I love Jesus" comment wasn't first; I didn't suggest any jewelry, even a cross, since I've seen atheists wearing them too. In reality, there's nothing you can really do about it. Ignoring sinful men won't make them all go away. A kid recently killed people in his school who said they believed in God! I wish that Christian sisters didn't have to deal with sinful comments like I did in the military and various jobs, but that's the world. Some are blessed with jobs at churches and ministries, most of us are not and keep our minds on God as best we can.
---danie9374 on 4/24/05


Guys will be guys, and many are flirts. I'm curious though what your beliefs are that require you to wear ankle length skirts? Nothing wrong with that, just curious. This incident just goes to prove that perhaps guys are more attracted to women who don't dress so skimpily. The attraction to what they don't see. Keep doing what you're doing and handle it with grace.
---NV_Barbara on 4/24/05


If the remarks are compliments, thank them; if they are sexual advances, report it to the boss and refuse to serve the individuals. If it can lead to a dangerous situation; put resumes and take interviews for a safer job. Your beauty may attract some people and give you an opportunity to be a witness for Jesus. Just use wisdom and discretion, the Holy Spirit will guide you.
---Eloisa on 4/24/05


Danie are you sure that hanging a sign on yourself is the answer? I'm not too sure that we are supposed to label ourselves. Our behaviour, manner, our very being should show Jesus through us. If we need labels there must be something lacking. I know many young girls who wear What Would Jesus Do bracelets but dress like prostitutes. What message does that give? E.J. I would say you're handling the situation just right. Hang on in there, pray each day before you go to work and whilst working if you can. God knows your heart.
---Paul_James on 4/24/05


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Some men will always pass remarks to women. When a woman ignores them, she will be respected by the serious guys. Continue to ignore them and keep minding your business. The regulars will eventually stop.
---Albert on 4/24/05


Just don't worry about the guys and pray for them. They know what they are doing wrong. And if they get really bothersome, ask them nicely to leave you alone. Be nice about and firm, making sure you get across that you are living for Jesus. God bless you.
---Buffy on 4/23/05


Men don't often like a potty mouth, especially when they are eating so they tend to teas ladies to get a raise out of them. As christians we are to stay your mind on Him and all thing will fall into place according to God's perfect will. Don't let trivial issues be bothersome, you will become less a warrior for Christ, in this dark world.
Be patient, loving, and undestanding. Let Him do His work in you. My prayers of support are with you BLue
---Blue on 4/23/05


What are these men doing that is inappropriate? What are you calling a pass?
---Tim on 4/23/05


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If your employer won't hang a sign like "Harass the help, you won't get served!", and this is really bothering you, I'd at least consider looking for a job elsewhere. I'd think about possibly wearing a noticeable tag stating "I love Jesus!" on it, or something like that. I don't know why, but even Christian (usually older) men sometimes 'flirt' with waitresses! Evil in the world will only increase and now women are exposed to it as much as men here in the USA; sad, will pray for you.
---danie9374 on 4/23/05


Sister Continue to Let your Light Shine in the Name of Jesus! We can't control people actions. We can continue to let them SEE the Christ in US! Just know that if you are a True Spirit Filled Believer the Holy Ghost, will not let any Evil draw nigh unto YOU..Peace BE UNTO YOU!!!
---Renatta on 4/23/05


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