If you do this: 1Corinthians 11:3-10, 13, 15-16, 14:34-35, Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:11-14, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1-2, 5-6, and he does this: 1Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:25-29, 31, 33, Colossians 3:19, 1Timothy 5:8, 1Peter 3:7, this resolves the situation. If you violate Genesis 3:16 (Gen4:7), and / or he violates 1John 4:12 then you have problems. If he / she doesn't consider the others best interest, he / she might easily be abusive. p.s. 1) Don't uncover your husbands nakedness to all these people, but Galatians 6:1. 2) Submit to your husband. 3) Pray. 4) Be kind, Ephesians 4:32. 5) All, get saved and trust in Jesus Christ. |
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---Glenn on 5/23/09 |
Sounds like a narcissist... get away while you can. |
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---m on 5/21/09 |
My Sisters, I am so sorry that you are hurting. Psalms 119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me. Psa 119:76 Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant.
Mat 9:22 But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort, thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.
The Bible is the very best source of comfort and instruction.
I have found 3 others that give good insight: 1. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman 2. Incredible Answers to Prayer & More Incredible Answers to Prayer by Roger Morneau
Thank you to Dee for praying. |
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---Suzie on 5/4/09 |
my husband is just the same and itseems the controling hatefull mother in law ruined our lives together, i cant ask 4 anything without him becoming abusive and violent , he seems 2 hate me now instead of her . I realy do,nt know what 2 do , may b you could give me a few tips xxx sarah....good luck |
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---sarah on 5/4/09 |
Yes, I understand exactly where you are coming from. My husband and I were the same way. I can remember the day before we married, how excited he was. And I can definitely remember the day we were married. To make it extremely special for us, since we couldn't afford a wedding, we married on the anniversary of the day we met, which was the day after my birthday. And we married in the same outfits that we wore when we met. It was all beautiful at first, we knew that we would be together for ever. But, a few months later, he became a much different person. He became very cold hearted and verbally abusive to me. continued on next page |
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---Tab on 4/25/09 |
Losing your self-esteem and self-worth IS abuse. I lived a life where my husband at the time blamed everything that went wrong in our home on me even to the point of "disgracing" my looks one day in front of a very large crowd of people. His life was to come home from work and fall asleep only to eat his dinner and to have temper tantrums over nothing. There was one point in time that I needed major surgery and his reply was that I better get out and "earn" it. As hard as I tried to continue with our marriage the abuse finally took a toll and I felt God was NOT a part of that marriage and I deserved better. Even when we divorced he still justified his actions by saying he is bi-polar. It's wasn't a disease..it was Satan. |
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---kandee on 4/23/09 |
I too was married to an especially verbally abusive man for 34 years who had no interest in God or the things of God. We did divorce after 34 yrs. of marriage and I am now remarried to a Chrsitian man. |
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---Kandee on 4/21/09 |
My opinion is that I think it's normal for the 'honey moon' to end and then it takes a little work to keep romance alive in a marriage. It is sometimes really hard for two people to live together and they begin to take advantage of each other and not respect each other. Babies will stress out a marriage too. Remember to treat your spouse like you want to be treated. |
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---sue on 4/18/09 |
It is very hard to live under these circumstances, I know I've been there. I also lost my self-esteem and was told I couldn't make it without him and I was stupid. So I went back to college and was on the Dean's list the first semester. Do you go to church and have you tried praying about your situation? The only one that can give you an answer to that is God Himself. I went to church by myself and eventually he started going with me. Even if He doesn't at least you can get the spiritual help you need. God Bless and I will be praying for you and your family. |
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---Norma on 4/18/09 |
I have been married for 3 yrs and have a set of 5 month old twins. my marriage has been a roller coaster ride since we said our vows..month by month he became less and less affectionate, harder to communicate with. Then the insults and name calling started..then the threats of wanting to end the marriage..i speant my entire pregnancy walking on eggshells.. since the twins were born i have been caring for them 24/7 with very little help from him with. he hasnt said i love you since we were first married..now he is to the point where he doesnt even want to hold a converstation or hear my feelings or answer any questions..at this point i would feel relieved if he left..but at the same time scared my self esteem is shattered. |
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---lori on 4/17/09 |
Yes my husband changed after marriage and we are christians. At first i beleived he had the 'head of household' all wrong - it's not a dictatorship - but after 4 years of abuse it comes out he is negative and critical because of the way he was raised (his mom) - no excuse in my book especially if they admit and know it!! We are going nowhere with this - he basically says "I am stuck with him" |
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---kay on 4/8/09 |
Dear Michelle, you deserve sooo much better in a long-term boyfriend! I'd dump his butt faster than I would a hot potato! Take care of yourself and your babies and take time to heal--without the up/down boyfriend, dear. |
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---Mary on 3/31/09 |
Regardless of the psychoanalytical reasoning behind his actions, what he is doing is wrong and you do not have to stay in this situation.
It took 5 1/2 years to leave my marriage to my 1st husband who abused me on a daily basis.
I finally realized that while I took my vows seriously he did not. I had children to raise and teach mores and values. I could not give this to them if I were dead. I finally got out.
I remarried several years later. We've never fought or argued once. He accepts me and my children, and I, his, as if we both had created them. The Lord is at the helm of our marriage and life. There is unconditional love.
You deserve the same and I will pray for you and your safety and happiness as well. |
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---Lesla3685 on 3/31/09 |
my boyfriend of 3 and 1/2 years told me 6 months ago he didnt love me anymore and then about 2 weeks ago he went to ky and while he was there texted me and told me he loved me agian well today he tells me that he dont love me and everything was a lie he said that he told me he loved me so he could stay with our 2 children but i dont understand why he would say that considering i let him stay here with me and the babies when he said he didnt love me the first time...im just so confused please help. |
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---Michelle on 3/31/09 |
It's not important that he don't love you you'll work it out that perfect love comes from God and God only, but it's possible you can have a husband that loves you like the Bible requires.
If you don't these is a little story called Adultery of which carries a heavy penalty one that may bring you into conflict with the Law of marriage.
God gave these Law's for a reason and if you don't work them out for yourself with the term Remain single in mind, you may find you Relationship with the devil closer than you imagined! |
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---Carla3939 on 2/21/09 |
I think that mine hate me. It haven't left but has cheated 5 times. I want to run away at times.I have found myself thinking of other men lately. |
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---gwendolyn on 2/18/09 |
let me tell you, my husband left me three times, he is leaving again on the 28th of feb. he always finds reasons of why he is leaving, first he will be loving happy, and joyous, then all of a sudden unhappy and its all me. i am seeing a therapist, the other thing is that my husband for 8 yrs is bisexual. that came out when i first met him, and he told me he had the gay feelings since his second wife, he gave up on his children and all three marriages, i have had enough, and the advice i am giving to you, is dont take it. there is better, evaluate what you could have, as oppose to the crap you have now. dont find excused of why you should be together, |
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---carolina on 2/17/09 |
If I may suggest something. There is a new movie out(A Christian movie) called Fireproof, which is very powerful. It is a story about a man & a woman who are "falling" out of love with each other. The man is given a book called "Love Dare" which guides him through 40 days of re-inventing his love for his wife. Everyone should go see it or buy the dvd, it is really a great movie. The book "LOve Dare" is also available. I think it could help your situation, along with lot's of prayer.God bless you and I will be praying for your situation. |
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---tommy3007 on 2/16/09 |
I am sort of going through the same thing. My husband was in a huge hurry to marry me. One month and we were married. It has been 4 years now and he has proven he just wants me to pay for everything and let him live in a nice home, have the "family" and look good to everyone. He doesnt let me express my feelings surrounding this issue, he interprets that it is all "his" fault. He wont pay his part of the bills, nor will he make an effort to bring in more money. I am a full time student, ready to grad, work partime and recieve child support. I dont know what to do. This situation seems like a type of abuse to me....anyone else feel that way? |
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---Julie on 2/15/09 |
My heart goes out to you. I am going through the same thing with my husband. We have been married for 18 years and 3 children laterand, I am in your same boat. He says he is not happy and doesn't know what he wants. His mom and stepfather divorced after 18 years of marriage, can you see a pattern. Please keep us in your prayers and I will do the same for you. God Bless.... |
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---Ann on 2/15/09 |
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It is so very true. A son and mother relationship can have an extreme baring on his relationships with other women. Some even hate women. Most difficult situation. Ask God what to do? He will give you the grace to either stay put or to get out. |
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---catherine on 2/15/09 |
Cameron, you have really suffered in life. What does the Bible tell us? We have to be joyful at the persecution we receive, because Jesus also suffered. We have to recall that we are to be treated even worse than Jesus was treated. Remember for a while the people loved Jesus, then turned against him. I really identify with you on feeling psychologically beaten up by family members, and others. However, if I were you I would not put up with the unfaithfulness of a spouse. He owes you love, even if he cannot show it to you openly. If he does not show you respect and faithfulness, you have every right to look for it elsewhere. This is my humble opinion, and not backed up by any 'church' anywhere. |
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---frances008 on 2/15/09 |
I was single until I was 40, I lived committed to Christ and to the Bible's promise of provision of every need in my life (including a mate). However, my father became embarrassed that I was still a virgin and unmarried by 40, and he made it a point by embarrassing me at a gathering of friends and at a public event, even accusing me of looking like a whore. It crushed me emotionally, I looked up to him and he was tearing my heart to shreds. I became depressed, and rushed into a marriage with a man who wants nothing to do with God or the Bible, is a self-described "rebel" and wants nothing to do with me sexually. He flirts with other women, especially teen girls right in front of me, and is likely having a sexual relationship. |
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---Cameron on 2/14/09 |
My husband and I were best friends and spent every day together for four years before we married. The night we got married, he turned from Dr.Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. The classic symptoms of an abusive husband. He acted disappointed and didn't want to have anything to do with me. I was totally confused and hurt. I stuck with him to honor my vows to God and the church. We had children. That made it even harder to leave him. Now I am physically disabled, partly from stress, and can't leave him. I am literally trapped until death with a loveless husband. Don't fool yourselves. God does not want you to be treated badly and he doesn't want your children to grow up thinking that's how women should be treated. Find a new husband that truly shares your love. |
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---Juliet on 2/11/09 |
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Although I shouldn't be encouraged by this, I am. My husband has changed, and even said that he regrets marrying me after 4 months of marriage. He is cold and has nothing but complaints about me. He refuses to 'leave and cleave' and if I even mention something that my MIL has done (like saying she wishes she had a different DIL) he blows up and refuses to talk and touch me. I am always at fault, so now I refuse to mention anything that is wrong... and it seems to help. I am certainly unimportant to him and his family... but this is something that I brought myself into, so I will need to deal and cope with this. Lord help me! |
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---Nicole on 12/30/08 |
Here I was thinking that I was the only person having these kinds of challenges in my marriage. My husband has left me about four times and threatened to divorce me multiple times and we've only been married since Septemeber. I even thought about sneaking and getting on birth control to prevent pregnancy that I used to want but am not so sure about now. I used to want God to fix things but now I just want Him to help me get out!!! I really want my marriage to work but I don't think that my husband will ever think that I am good enough nor will he see his faults. |
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---Miranda on 12/17/08 |
My husband continues to show a lack of interest or attention towards me. I am pretty but obviously I can not compete with the Baristas he seems to lavish upon. I am so lonely. |
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---jennifer on 12/9/08 |
Kristie, I really feel for you. If I were you I would keep a diary in which you write every detail of your sorrows down. Don't leave it in a place where it can be found. Then, years from now you will read it and it will be evidence before you as to why you will be very careful if you divorce and remarry, or you will have reason to laugh it away as a bad patch which may have been a result of your high expectations that were not met. Perhaps you will learn to live without love and stay in the marriage, and then, suddenly it will occur to your husband that he should show more affection. Pray for God's help to make things better. |
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---frances008 on 12/8/08 |
i am going through the same thing my husband and i have only been married a a little under a year but since the day we got back from our honeymoon he changed hes cold to me only talks to me when he wants to criticize me he never wants to hold me kiss me and the only time he says i love you is when hes walking out the door and yes his mother is a cold person and very controlling i always wondered if thats why he is the way he is i dont know because he never treated me this way before he was so good to me always telling me he loved me and how beautiful l was to him but now i get nothing but tears day in and day out. |
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---kristie on 12/7/08 |
I feel the same way....I should be happy. He was my best friend. We have been together for 6 years but married for 2. It just hasn't been the same since I said I do. The verbal, emotional, and physical abuse at times its overbearing. I do love him I just want my friend back cuz who he is today I have no idea.... |
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---lonely_housewive on 12/3/08 |
SARAH The worst thing you can do for someone who is abused is blame that person. They already blame themselves. Abuse is not God's design, and we are not responsible for someone else's sin. Abuse can and does often occur after a marriage or a after the woman becomes pregnant. I will pray for you. |
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---Jessica on 11/25/08 |
My heart goes out to you,I know exactly what you are going through. I am a christian woman who just didn't want to grow old alone so I asked God for a mate. I didn't date and met this man at church. We got along fine but I quickly married him cause I wanted to live in Gods will. We are now married just a couple of weeks. I am the most alone woman in the world. I'm such a fool. My home and car and all paid for. Now know the reason he wanted me. I read in the Bible and Pray and ask God what it is he is teaching me through this. I know he is in control but I feel like a lousy joke has been played on me. I just lift you and I up in prayer and ask God for peace in our hearts and that he move in our husbands |
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---Nita on 11/6/08 |
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I feel sorry for you. You have a terrible problem on your hands. I would not want to be in your shoes. I am so tired of this psycho babble about how people are raised and how they are affected later in life. This was suppose to be a grown man you married not a baby who never grew up. Now you have to deal with this very difficult problem trying to fix him. God bless you. Note: I took off from work a few days ago,made a nice romantic dinner(cooked myself),lit candles,nice bubble bath, the works. Only to be rejected by my spouse. By the way he is 74 yrs old. I am 53. |
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---Mildred on 11/1/08 |
Alexandra my heart not only cries for you it bleeds. Your story is so tragic. The things we go through for love. Life is something else. How could this rat leave you with two small kids to car for. I am sorry honey. I can only encourage you to call on Jesus. He will never forsake you or leave you alone. This you can depend on. It will get better day by day for you. Be the best mom to your kids that you can and God will bless you for all that you do. Bless you |
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---Robyn on 11/1/08 |
I can relate to all of your stories.I used to feel loved truly loved by my husband but something happened after we got married, I can not explain it.It was like a rollercoaster of him being affectionate than turning off the switch. I have felt alone for some time and now he is away with the military (state-side). But Its almost like he is using it as an excuse to not be here and I just cant take it anymore.Pray to God to help resolve this pain. His comments to me - "I don't know what I want, I don't know if its worth it." I dont want to give up but I just want to be happy, be loved and give love. Is that too much to ask for? |
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---cr on 10/26/08 |
This is so sad, It almost feels like a death, I dont know if my husband ever loved me? He has always been cold and insensitive, but I would look beyond that, Well, I cant look beyond that any longer, I need love and affection, I need hugs and kisses, I need for him to touch me during the day, Im surprised we have two children, He left me 5 days ago with a 4yr old and a 9mo old, I am so sad, so, I feel your pain, This is not supposed to be the way that it happens right??? you get married and live happily ever after, but without happiness there is no ever after, I dont know what to do? |
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---Alexandra on 10/24/08 |
Hello there yes i'm going throught the same situation as we speak.My husband and i had the best relationship.He use to bring me flowers and often told me how pretty i was until one day we got into this huge arguement and he decided to hit me spit in my face and is really jealous.I really want to get out of the relationship and the more i tell him and talk to my pastor about i feel bad but why should i feel bad he's missing a good thing here. so no sweetie you're not alone. |
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---RENEE on 9/24/08 |
Dear friends,ive been told the same by my husband of 1o years,i dicided to leave him now we are separated,though i love him still.i can no longer waste my time wid some1ne who doesnt love me.i feel sad for my kids specialy my 1o yr old cos she mises him so much.but life has to go on. Fatty |
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---fatty on 9/5/08 |
I completely understand what you are saying. I thought that when we got married we were supposed to love and care for eachother as we care for ourselves. But for the last four years things have spiraled out of control. My husband has been in jail for hitting me, he abuses alcohol some days more than others. I am lost I don't know what to do. I love him enough to stay with him, because our relationship can work. But I'm to the point I'm considering leaving. I feel that everyone will see me as the "bad" person for trying to better my life. But I have to do what's best for me. |
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---Jane on 8/18/08 |
Yes, and his mother is controlling. I recently told him that I feel that I am being made to pay foR everything that anyone has ever done to hurt him. You see he does not talk to me about his life, his day. He acted"normal" recently while we visited with his mother. You are right. I pray that God will deliver him and me. |
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---KelliH on 8/13/08 |
hello everyone, i have been read most of your "testimonies" on this topic and my heart goes out to you. i am single but very much aware of this issues because two wives of church elderst have once told me about such issues but the gravity of it had not gotten to me until this moment. there were times when an elder was too tired to attend to his sick wife but jumped out of bed two hours later when he received a call from a sick church-member who had been rushed to the clinic....!!!! |
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---patience on 7/22/08 |
I am so glad I stumbled onto this site. I am currently living in a 15 year marriage with a husband who doesn't love me anymore. I myself had an affair (horrible mistake) 3 years ago, and my husband has never forgiven me. In fact, now I'm not so sure he isn't having one. He seems depressed all the time and as if it's a chore to spend any time with me. We have 17, 13, & 6 year old sons and I'm there for them. I found great comfort in this site. I have completely given my life to Christ and have to trust in him to lead me through this and to lead my husband through. My husband is a Christian, but I feel he's turned his back on God right now. I know that I have to focus on my relationship with God right now and allow Him to do His work. |
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---Julia on 7/17/08 |
Dear Friend. There are so many reasons why your husband's behavior may have changed. You are so precious to God and he wants you to be happy. I am going through something similar and decided to focus on myself rather than my husband. Each day, I look forward to improving my life and being the best "me" that I can be. I know this seems a bit "goody goody" but I know that I am a good person and my husband has personal issues that he needs to address. I have reached out to him so many times but he rejects me. Sometimes we need to step away and leave it to God. You know that God will walk you through this tunnel and that you are never alone. My prayers are with you. Be well and happy. |
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---Gracie on 7/15/08 |
been married for 5years to a man that changed i started working a year after we were married. became jealous accusing my of having affairs. starved emotionally for any kind of affection. he didnt even like me to make any sexual advances towards him. told him i wanted a divorce. for years i had told him he had mental issues and needed it help psychiatrist diagnosed him as being bipolar. he took medication of and on for a year. now heS off. recently been going back to church and want to work it out.he says hes not sure if he does.mother left him when he was seven and i believed he always thought i would do the same he left me no choice. he pushed me away. the only thing left to do is pray and seek the lord with all of our hearts |
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---vivian on 7/14/08 |
I married a christain man who became more and more hard in his heart to sin( heavy drinking at weekends, cocaine, estasty, late nights, phyical abuse, no accepting of reponsibility for his own actions) and put me away for a year in our marriage to seek other women, then asked for a divorce after admitting to 2 years of adultary- which he refused to admit to before. I first I allowed my anger to rule me, which made the relationship even more destructive. I left- lived with a christain couple+ had christain councelling who taught me to pray and trust God again. |
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---suzanne on 7/14/08 |
Do you hang out on the computer night and day? This will destroy a marriage.
People use computers for an escape, but escaping from a marriage, family problems will cause even more problems.
Computer, anything that's used as a distraction will eventually take it's toll on a family.
If he doesn't care what you do, it could be due to tuning him out for so long, and he's moving on. I ask you to honestly answer this question to yourself. Husband neglect will land you in separationville or divorce.
You may be able to salvage what's left, but if he's mentally, emotionally checked out, no one here can tell you the outcome. |
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---Miriam on 7/11/08 |
Maria:what is your religious denom, age and what is His- did you get married in a church- if so- what denom, do you have any children where are your parents.Start by applying for alimony and the expenses of your intern ship.consolidate your resources First. It seems He is the wandering Kind and you are better rid of Him.Experience bought is better than experience Taught You are bewildered confused .Advice can only be given if details are availableand they "dont" have to be intimate. |
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---Emcee on 7/10/08 |
I am fairly new to being married. It would be three years this October 2008. I am a student so, after several weeks of him telling me an internship was the best idea for my future and career and he would financially support me- I decided to take the internship 300 miles away from our home. In the matter of 2 wks, he has told me he doesnt want to "be together" yet still be married.. i dont even know how to react.. he wont talk to me, answer my calls, and just yells at me.. he lies to me about going out to clubs.... i need some advice.. i dont know if my marriage is even worth fighting when he has said he doesnt care about anything i do anymore...help :*( |
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---Maria on 7/10/08 |
I have gone through the same thing, and, unfortunately, am now going through a divorce. Believe me, this is the LAST thing I ever wanted to do, but for the mental and emotional well-being of my son and myself, it is the only thing left to do. I am crushed, devastated, etc. but I know my husband is not going to change, and I cannot live like this any more. He also blames me for all of our problems, and refuses to take any responsibility for any of our problems. If you ever need to talk about this, please feel free to email me. I am a 40 year old K teacher with 1 son and also have a 16 year old step daughter. Just know that you are not alone. It's funny, but your blog question actually helped me, too. Karin |
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---Karin on 6/27/08 |
regardless of the situation, God is in control, and your heart is broken, there is so much to share on this subject, if you would like to talk more just let me know, there is help, keep safe and close to Jesus, Amen, Lord I pray for this couple and I know that your word is true and that Jesus this is a mess I know that there is an answer, thank you Lord for helping this person to be safe and close to you, Amen |
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---dee on 3/31/08 |
I'm a christian women with the same problem. The only differance between me and you is that I left my husband. I couldn't take the physical or verbal abuse anymore. When i asked my church/pastor for help, they turned a deaf ear. The last straw was watching my boys (4) cry after my husband beat me. I had to stop the cycle. I couldn't let my boys grow up to think it's ok to abuse women! |
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---diana on 3/4/08 |
Well, Debra, I don't know what to say. Are you sure, 100% sure? |
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---Cindy on 2/9/08 |
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Leave the marriage. Mine in the same, and I have finally given up after 20 years. I do not believe for one more minute that God wishes me to stay in a relationship where my husband does not care for me, and emotionally and verbally abuses me on a regular basis. This is a self esteem issue. Being a Christian doesn't mean being a doormat forever. You love God? Then love his creation: YOU. Take care of yourself- Your God given life is too valuable and too short to subject it to abuse. |
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---Debra on 2/8/08 |
I am going through the same my husband of 13yrs are playing games with me. He is listening to his mother and now well he does not know his self and on top of that he commited adultery. I look to prayer because now i do not trust him so the only thing we can do is pray for them and still love them and support them but i do not mean to sit there and deal with that let him come to you. my god bless our husband souls and forgive them. |
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---Tammy on 1/17/08 |
You know I agree. I believe a bad mother can be at the root cause of what you are talking about. Perhaps not in all cases. Without becoming too personal you must hang in there. And allow God to change things and believe me He will. Be patient. |
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---catherine on 10/5/07 |
You say he Loves Jesus so much, but if he did he would do as Jesus told him to do, and that is to Love you as himself. Remind him of that, then let him think on it, and keep loving him and praying for him. And treat him the way you did in the begining. or at least try. |
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---a_good_friend on 10/4/07 |
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And I suppose Dani that the Church group and the pastor and elders believe what your husband says? After all, he is the head of the household, and head over you. Whatever he wants, you should submit. After all that's what the Bible says. But he is only entitled to be leader if he gives you his complete love. Lots of these male dominated churches forget that part, and it is always the woman who is to blame |
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---alan_of_UK on 10/4/07 |
Dani - I hope you tape him....and then after you collect enough evidence....use it to show him what a hypocrit he is and how bad he really looks. Own up to your part but don't let this go on...it is from the pit of hell and you need to fight back.
Then I'd show the home group ...if he didn't straighten up - of course if he's that mean he is likely to hurt you...get out before it is too late. |
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---Dan on 10/4/07 |
I know only two well how you feel--after 7 years of marriage, I don't feel 1/10th as loved or respected as i did the day I married. My husband constantly verbally and physically abuses me, and then denies everything as he sits and leads our church group. He doesn't want to change- He is so hard-hearted, and your post struck a chord, because i know alot of his issues are with a mother who left his father broken and penniless. |
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---Dani on 10/4/07 |
I am so thankful to hear from someone who are having the same experiences as I do. I truly love my husband with my whole heart, and only pray that we will be together 'till the coming of our Lord.However, he is hurting me so much - not physically - that I sometimes feel that I can not carry on any more. I sometimes feel that he and God has their own little club, and I am too insignificant to be a part of it. If only he could treat me and the kids with the love of Christ whom he loves so much. |
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---Antoinette on 9/27/07 |
Fay, I think you've really hit the high note. Many men do become wife abusers because of abusive mothers or fathers. Abandonment, lack of love/concern from either parent has alot do with crime in the streets. He could be acting out with you Fay, because of a bad relationship with his mother. This is two years ago, did you stick it out? |
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---Davis on 8/1/07 |
My husband has a off and on switch and acts that way,even moves out,and tells me horrible things,and dose horrible things,but I believe that God is working in you like he has been in me.Cling on to God and he will lead you to what you have to do.If he is a believer pray for him,the holy spirit will work in him.I will pray for you too! |
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---Anna on 8/1/07 |
One word: LEAVE |
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---Hislove on 8/1/07 |
strange that he should change right after the wedding,could it be there where signs that you ignored?perhaps he didnt love you enough for marriage because we know that the kind of love that sustains a marriage is much deeper than what you just told us.pray God will turn things around,speak to your husband about your frustrations(is he a christian?do you have a christian marriage?)seek counseling.i,ll pray with you. |
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---sarah on 8/1/07 |
I am going through this although mine don't hit me or drink or cheat but he feels what he is doing is right cause he is the head of the house, but the way, and his attitude is so hurting and it happens only sometimes like their is something else ruling him. but God says I should be patient and wait cause he should love me as Christ loves the church , so hold on and pray. |
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---Naz on 8/1/07 |
Thats funny you say that. My boyfriend & I have been together a year & he is getting like that. We talked about it,he said he would try more. But haven't noticed much change. I know that right now he has alot of finacial issues going on in his life that he is trying to straighten out before we get married. |
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---Chris on 6/20/07 |
The same thing has happened to me. My husband does have issues with his mother, and so, his grandmother raised him. It is very hard and because he can't keep a job, leaving me with most of the financial burden, he is not living up to his family obligations, which God also hates (like divorce). Please read Isaiah 41 : 10 and believe it. If you draw close to Jehovah, he will draw close to you and guide you. It is difficult, but He will guide you. I wish you peace that only comes from knowing God. |
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---andrea on 6/17/07 |
Excuse me but, forget his mother, forget about his affection. Count your blessings. Focus on the good things in your life. God will provide you with strength, wisdom and love. I know it by experience 15 years married, I became codependent. He left me & 4 kids. We're fine and you will be too. He is still trying to destroy me but God is with me. If you have kids, give them lots of love so they wont end up the same. |
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---monica on 6/7/07 |
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Why are we always blaming the mother--Satan hates women and always always always wants to blame a women!!!!!!! Haven't you noticed this in the world yet? Let the man take the blame for his own Satan inspired actions!!!!!!! |
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---Terri on 6/4/07 |
yes this happened to me but it did take a little bit of time for this to start and i did not understand also why....until now don t fully understand ... |
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---mirian on 6/1/07 |
Brad: I was writing my blog meaning everyone male and female that have boyfriends or girlfriends when they are married. no matter how you cut it or sugar coat it or deny it, it is adultery and if it is not repented of and never repeated, that my friend will get them the boot from God's kingdom and satan rejoices because he seals them his. all the hallelujahs in the world won't save them. that is why I said adultery is like alcoholism. once started, it is almost impossible to stop. |
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---ashley on 5/28/07 |
ashley, cool your jets for a little while. I was responding to Jessica, who if it's the same Jessica, has a variety of relationships, some die, some spring back to life. |
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---Brad on 5/28/07 |
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Brad: you mentioned a woman with a bi-polar husband and a boyfriend. according to my bible, a woman to have a boyfriend while she is married is adultery. adultery is like alcoholism. once started, it goes out of control and is almost impossible to stop. the only way to be forgiven is by never having affairs again ever. that is a life long struggle. one affair twenty years later returns the sin of all previous affairs and that is enough to condemn many and keep them OUT of God's kingdom. |
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---ashley on 5/27/07 |
Jessica, are you the same Jessica with the bipolar husband; crazy in love on Valentine's Day with a boyfriend, then the boyfriend dies shortly thereafter, and now we're back to the husband? |
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---Brad on 5/26/07 |
a different wrinkle on this, but out of everyone writing on this blog, how many of you got on your knees and asked Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ if they were the one you should marry. or were you blinded by love and forget to ask God what you should do for the most important decision of your life. If things went drastically wrong before the ceremony, God was screaming at you to end it, but many ignor all the signs and marry them anyways. they are then submitted to everything you write here. |
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---ashley on 5/26/07 |
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