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Feel About Divorce For Affairs

I am just curious about how we feel about divorce here when infidelity has occurred. Does anyone take seriously the teaching of Jesus that divorce was given only because of the hardness of our hearts? With two repentant people shouldn't we always pray for reconciliation to preserve God's will?

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 ---terry9798 on 5/2/05
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Here I am almost divorced, and I have felt that my actions were wrong and selfish. Hard hearted, and unforgiving. I have stopped my divorce, because I know it is not God's will. My husband is living with another woman... and says he still loves me, but loves her too. God is still in charge!! May His will be done.
---Kristina on 6/30/07


Yes as Christians we all want to uphold the Word. But there are scriptual reasons also for divorce. If U can still live w/your partner after an affair that is great some can not that is to be understood also. I have seen divorced people "kicked" in the Kingdom as if that is the unpardonable sin, it isnt. We applaud people who gang banged, stole, were addicts- even did murder when they repent yet many divorced people we spit out words of fire and condemn. Repentance is to all as is restoration.
---Jeanne on 11/6/06


the question is about matt 19:9- save for the cause of fornication. it says 'from the beginning it was not so. divorce for adultery MAY be allowed, possibly, but where does it say remarriage because of adultery is ok?
---r.w. on 10/14/06


Christians have the capacity to hold out forgiveness to others when they trespass against us, with the Holy Spirit's activity in our lives. If person in a marriage with a non-believer or back-slidden spouse, then we ought to desparately attempt to forgive that person's shortcomings and pray to Jesus that he ministers in that situation. Jesus tells us to pick up our cross daily, we deny ourselves the right to take revenge, the right to self-pity and all of the other emotions so common.
---eric on 5/18/05


I'm a firm believer in Malachi 2:16. It was Moses that made the law that allows divorce due to hard heartedness. I've been married 20 yrs. this June & am 37. We've been thru a lot, including affairs. I have stayed faithful to God and prayed, prayed, prayed. Yes, my spouse was a Christian when I married him, but sinned, we all do one way or another. I stayed faithful to our vows and continued praying. Now he is going to church, we are very happy, he's coming closer to Christ. Stay faithful to God no matter what & He'll stay faithful to you. I take Malachi 2:16 very seriously.

God bless.
---Dorothy on 5/4/05




The freedom promise given to Eve by the serpent in the garden was no death. 'Surely, you will not die, but will become like the gods knowing good and evil.'
---gregg4933 on 5/4/05


There is no record of any sex before A & E were cast from the garden. After A&E were banned from the garden: Gen.4:1 'Adam lay with his wife Eve and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. . . ' but that brings up a whole different scenerio and backs up the story of sin and death. And my saying that Eve means serpent is misstated. Looking backwards from II Pet. 2:19 'They promise them freedom while they themselves are slaves of depravity - for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.' Eve was deceived by the serpent and spread the deception to Adam. That is what I have come up with.
---gregg4933 on 5/3/05


Thank you for your input alan.
---gregg4933 on 5/3/05


#5 Just realised that A & E could have had sex before the Fall ... depends on interpretation of biblw.

But does not alter that fact that the Bible never says sex is sinful.
---Alan_of_U.K. on 5/3/05


Gregg, #4 Are you sure that Adam & Eve became ashamed of sex? OK they covered up, but I'm not sure they became ashamed of sex. In fact, did they previously have sex, the Bible does not say so.

Are you married? ... do you regard sex as sin? Are you ashamed of it? Sad if you are.
---Alan_of_U.K. on 5/3/05




Gregg, #3 you say "Then sin entered the race. That is the meaning of flesh"

You imply there that "flesh" is always sin. But that is only one of the meanings of the word.

Remember "The Word became flesh" Was Jesus evil?

Another use is when man and woman become one flesh, it means they become one person, and sin is not implied.
---Alan_of_U.K. on 5/3/05


Gregg #2 ... I am not sure quite what you mean when you say that Eve means serpent. I don't recall that in the Bible.
---Alan_of_U.K. on 5/3/05


Gregg #1 ... there are a few points arising from your answer to me, which I would like to query. In my usual tiresoem way, I will do it by separate posts to try to keep it clear in my own mind.
---Alan_of_U.K. on 5/3/05


Hey guys,who was the first to come up with the idea of divorce?and what was the reason given for it?who got the first divorce?reconciliation should always be considered.But what about adultery and abuse?should a person have to put up with it?Do you really believe God wants people to suffer at the hands of those who would hurt them?Does God say,you married 'em so suffer?not the loving compassionate God I know.
---RUSSELL on 5/2/05


alan of uk- pay attention carefully to what the bible says. I definitely do not say that you should not get married. Take whatever side of the creation you wish and whichever version of the creation, i. e. male and female are Adam or male is Adam and female is Eve. We know that Adam means 'man' and Eve is woman, but Eve means serpent also. Adam and Eve were one flesh and they weren't ashamed of sex until the serpent came along. Then sin entered the race. That is the meaning of flesh.
---gregg4933 on 5/2/05


Marriage is NOT a man made idea. God made woman for the man and said it was not right for him to be alone.Genesis 1:27,28 2:18-25
Hebrews 12:4
There is flesh meaning our body (the temple of the Holy Spirit)1Co 6:19 and there is flesh meaning the law of sin. Romans 7:14-25 the carnal mind is enmity against God. Romans 8:7
Divorce is not God's will, therefor it is sin. I am divorced. I have confessed to God my sins and he has forgiven me.1Jn 1:9
---Ulrika on 5/2/05


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Gregg ... are you saying we should not marry> Do yuo mean this if we marry and become one flesh, then hardness of heart occurs?

That sould seem a great condemnation!

Surely in marriage, Jesus is saying two seperate people become one. The use of the word flesh being for body.

Whereas the other use of the word flesh means something quite different.

Or am I missing something?
---Alan_of_U.K. on 5/2/05


Jesus allowed for divorce when adultery was involved. We should remember that we are talking from a Christian perspective since there are, of course, many couples where one or both are not Christian. If the innocent party is willing to forgive then I would say that a truly repentant party should be forgiven. There is the matter of trust that will have to be regained in the relationship, but, with God's help, the relationship can be repaired. Reconciliation should always be attempted not only to preserve God's will but to preserve the family unit, and to allow forgiveness to take place.
---rick8584 on 5/2/05


hi, I've never been married...so never been divorced yet -smile. but I have a friend who came through the roughness of a divorce. And I also prayed for her and her ex and continue to do so today.BUT there was so much pain involved there that every day I realized I'm ill-informed about the devestation of such an issue and am learning something new every day. So I started praying for their inner healing long-time ago, especially hers, which is an everyday process. All I know is that she for ex. feels that now she realizes that the divorce allthough not ideal, was neccessary.
Phila8534
---Philio on 5/2/05


Do you take seriously the teaching 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become ONE flesh.' And also, 'The flesh is enmity against God.' That is the hardness of the heart that Jesus was speaking of.
---gregg4933 on 5/2/05


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Jesus Christ was teling the people that there is no adultery in heaven, there is no reason for divorce in heaven. The reason for him saying what he said about divorce is people were using any reason for divorce, but they were not married. The man-made idea of marriage is between two people. Adam and Eve were one.
---gregg4933 on 5/2/05


First of all, we should be faithful to our mates so that they do look outside their wedding vows to get the attention they seek. Infidelity is Biblical grounds for divorce however if both parties pray and agree, they should remain married. This is between them and their God and we should not judge them. While we do not want divorce, there are many marriages that hold back both partners, their children, bringing shame to their parents and friends due to the sins of one or both. God give us choices and often we bring punishment on ourselves.
---chuck on 5/2/05


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