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How Do I Get A Date In Church

I am a single father raising a son, and I would like to know how do I meet some one in my own church without her being so guarded and me nervous. I've been saved since 1997 and I have been sincere in my walk for the last 3 years. I have been walking in purity over three years.

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 ---David75 on 5/3/05
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onthestreet: I hope you are not married. How in the world are dating and making love similar? Your answers can send someone straight to Hell. You don't want that. Now do you?
---Robyn on 2/21/08

I'd like to add one thing. After 3 years of celibacy, it would be normal to feel unfulfilled needs pressing on you to find someone. Sometimes our emotional and sexual needs overwhelm us clouding our judgment. I suggest you keep participating in fellowship and see any woman as a sister in Christ. Meanwhile, if you start feeling attracted to her, pray that our Lord, through the Holy Spirit, reveal the truth about the other person for you as a potential mate. I've done this many times and it's always worked.
---Ginette_Beauchamp on 2/21/08

Onthestreet - if you look carefully at the question you will see that David75 did not ask the question (in 2005) using the same words that the moderator decided to give to the heading, in fact, they are quite different. However, for a Christian, I would say that Church is the best place to hope to find one's future partner
---RitaH on 2/21/08

"How do I get a date in church" is like asking "How do I make love in church". You don't. The true Christian goes to church for a date with the Lord, and to have Him as their love. Gittit?
---onthestreet on 2/20/08

The way I really look at it One man one woman.Terminated By Death or by divorce.To be celibate is the hardest thing for a human, man or woman, harder for the woman who has to bear the burden of a dead dreary life.but it can, should, WILL, be done if you are to please your Creator NOT Yourself.Holly, My heart goes out to you its been,over 18years for me, but My work to honour my Creator has been fulfilled.I have been rewarded in more ways than one by His love Joy & peace of Mind which Beats all else
---Emcee on 2/19/08

David...I've been walking in total celibacy for 12 1/2 yrs, saved since 1993 and divorced since 1990 and I am still single. God's timing is not our timing. When God feels both you and the other person are ready to meet, you will (if it is His will for you to marry again). Trust God and He will bring it to pass. In the meantime, ask God what needs to be changed or healed within you so that you can be the very best husband possible and know how to love your future wife as Christ loves the church. :-)
---Holly4jc on 2/19/08

David::"walking in purity for 3 years"but yet go to church seeking for a date. Do you really want to get into that mess again.and you say your shy?tut tut be bold & brave bite the bit & say ok lady you're IT.will you walk into my Parlour said the spider to the fly OH! MY!
---Emcee on 2/18/08

Part2: David. Make sure you are not too dogmatic and judgmental yourself, towards others.This can be a turnoff and keep people away from you. Go to church with the right motives. To praise and worship God but yet be friendly to others,especially to a nice christian woman you may be interested in at a later time. Ask her over to your home or out for a casual date,sometimes. No strings,no pressure. Something may develop. Don't be desperate.
---Robyn on 2/18/08

Part 4: Always pray and ask the Lord for what you need,first. Then you set out to find her. But don't be desperate. It will happen.You will know when you find the right lady. She will accept you and your son.Everything will fall into place--effortless.And God does not forbid divorced people to remarry. Know the truth for yourself not wht someone else says. There is a big difference. Remain faithful to God above all and He will give you the desires of your heart.God bless you.
---Robyn on 2/18/08

Dear David,
Know the truth and the truth will set you free(St John 8:32)There are so many lies floating around these days about the church,dating,sex and millions of other subjects. This is why we are to read and study God's Word and know the truth for ourselves. Ask someone who is mature in this way and is not too dogmatic and judgemental.There are way too many type of these so-called Christians. I am pleading with the Holy Spirit,right now, to help me,help you, with this issue.
---Robyn on 2/18/08

I believe that by now you,ve gotten many varried answers!Just ask yourself the following questions:
-Does she Love God?
-Will you be able to love her with all your heart?
-Does she love kids?
-Will your son love her? From Cathe9357
---Catherine on 2/18/08

I think women believe things are alot more "serious" where a child is involved. No one wants to hurt the child. Also, some people do not believe that divorce people can remarry. If you are divorced, this might be an issue. Also some women feel, "If he's failed at marriage once, he's probably got something wrong with him." This is NOT true, of course, and we women need to learn more about grace-giving. I'd recommend going to a church where they have a "Parents without Partners" program. There you can meet others in your same situation. Blessings. Karyn5733
---Karyn on 3/30/07

Go to church to worship God, and pray, and song, and fellowship, but don't go for dating. If in fellowship you happen to meet a girl, keep it spiritual, and then perhaps later romance may come of it.
---Eloy on 1/20/06

i dont think you will have too much trouble david try the pen pal section here. if you were a woman with kids it might prove much harder depending on your age too. more women are willing to take on another mans children and love them as their own but a man scarcely will do like wise,
---susanna on 1/20/06

I understand what you mean Laureen about men not wanting to take anothers kids on, well as far as i am concerned they are not christians with this attitude, The bible days we cannot have sex unless we are married, but there is nobody who is christian enough to marry the widow and the abandoned, so very young women are condemed to live a lonely celebate life, puts me off of going to church.
---susanna on 1/18/06

i understand what you mean Laureen about men not wanting to take anothers kids on, well as far as i am concerned they are not christians with this attitude, The bible days we cannot have sex unless we are married, but there is nobody who is christian enough to marry the widow and the abandoned, so very young women are condemed to live a lonely celebate life, puts me off of going to church.
---susanna on 1/18/06

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Hi I've been there. God is faithful. I go to a church where singles are scarce. but is where God has lead me. I have two daughters. I find that guys tend to not wish to take on other peoples kids, I hope this is not true all over. I believe that the chuch is the place to find some one of same faith, but to meet with God should be main reason to be there. Christians don't always have a comparable place to a bar for meeting people. so a church as a safe place. I would love to meet Gods choice for me there!
---Laureen on 5/29/05

First of all church should not be a place to meet single people. It is a place to worship God. If you go to church "thinking" to meet another single person, your going for the wrong reason.
---Rebecca_D on 5/16/05

David, the answer is simple. You've just got to put yourself out there, join the singles club, go on the outings, involve yourself in activities and ministries and if you fancy someone, talk to them, show them you are interested by getting to know them. Be a blessing to others and ultimately, ASK HER OUT FOR A COFFEE AFTER CHURCH....AT THE CHURCH CAFE or join a table at the cafe. There must be plenty of single women hanging around the children's ministries. A father doing children's ministries is a huge turn on.
---lisa on 5/6/05

I don't know how old you are, but if you see someone who looks interesting to you, ask! Chances are she would love to have someone in her life to look after too. I am probably old enough to be a grandma now, but I think it would be nice to meet up with someone with children since I have none. I am sure there is someone in your area who feels that way too.
---Julie on 5/6/05

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Curt, the people are the church, not the brick and mortar (or wood) building. We come together in a building to be assembled and if God so desires to assemble a man and woman together as life partners in ministry to bring Him glory, then so be it. I met my husband first at our fellowship, got to know him inside and outside the four walls of the building, and married him because he loved God more than he loved me. I would rather know that my potential mate is already faithful to assemble with the saints locally before we married than to hope he will afterwards.
---Linda_Smith on 5/4/05

It is good to hear of a guy so faithful to the Lord. If your church doesn't have a large amount of singles. There are outreaches at other church that have singles activites. I have met others through Christian websites as well. But God seems to know the desire of our hearts and when we put Him first He is able to bring them to us. Don't try too hard--The blessing of the Lord makes truly rich and He adds no sorry with it, neither does toiling increase it.
---beth on 5/4/05

I believe your answer to my question would be warranted if I were seeking a self gratifying relationship. But, I am a father that is commited to raising a caring, compasionate, Godly son. I was delivered from the nightclub scene, after working in them over Twenty+ years. I am only seeking the life partner the Lord has for me not "picking up" anyone. I know that only the Lord knows what is truly in my heart. Unfortunately, I recieved your answer as course and somewhat insensitive. I am truly blessed by the others comments.
---David777 on 5/4/05

David, I too have wondered about the same thing as you, But I have four children and I finally decided that if God wants me with someone He will send him. I focus on my children and trying to be stronger in my faith. Be Patient and trust God has things in control. Oh and stay away from the "Single Bars" that was not exactly good advice, as if you didnt realize that.
---Lee on 5/4/05

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churches are for worshiping God, not for picking up women. there are singles bars for that.
---curt on 5/3/05

I am single and I would love it if a man asked me out that attended my church. May I suggest offering to pick her up for church and then you could go have lunch and drop her off at home afterwards. Don't make it an all day affair...I have had this happen to me on a first date and I never went out with that man again because I felt uncomfortable with the fact that he was having the time of his life riding around and talking and I was ready to crawl under a rock after 7 hours of 'togetherness'. Good Luck, the Holy Spirit will guide you, all you have to do is ask.
---Shelley on 5/3/05

When I was single, no one from my church asked me out. If they had, most likely I'd have accepted. So ask. Keep it light and fun. No romantic dinner... try a hike or bike ride or maybe to accompany you to visit a missing member or older member who can no longer attend church. Perhaps others can give you some ideas also.
---Robin on 5/3/05

If you are open with the women in your church that you talk to, share with them a little of your past and what God has done in the past three yrs of your life. If she is a true christian then she is not going to turn her back on you because of your past. As for myself I am dating a christian guy that has a 3 yr old son. I know what has happened in his past but i am not going to judge him on it. And if you find the right girl she will not judge you on your past either. Prayer is the key to all things. Love In Christ, Stephanie
---steph9337 on 5/3/05

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Yours is a complex problem in that you first of all must be a parent of an well-behaved, balanced child, then fulfill your faith is God, and be true to yourself feeling at ease in social situations. The person you are searching for must fit in to this situation as a partner. Naturally, they want to know the whys,what, and if before any committment is made from you not from others. Best to get in situations where many are present to just be yourself and have fun.God bless you in your quest for a wife and mother for your child. God has a purpose for you.
---chuck on 5/3/05

Brother, at my church which is large, there is many women that are single. But many have been for a long time. True Christians have a harder time in meeting others because they don't do things like the world. They have different values. Ask God to do His will in your life and allow Him to bring someone into your life that fits His purpose and not yours and you will see that it will be an answer to someone that has been praying for someone like you. Just be a good disciple and walk your path with Him, patience is hard but worth it. He answered my prayer, and also hers.
---Lupe on 5/3/05

I feel that women in church need to see that you are real as a Christian man. Walk the walk, talk the talk.Be full of the Fruit of the Spirit.Being warm and friendly and full of the love of Christ to all.They have to see that you are serious about your relationship with Jesus.Karyn has excellent points and advice.If you a looking for a mate,pray that God would bring her into your life.Maybe He is using this time to grow you up and mold you into that Godly man that would make a Godly union possible.Seek Him in all you do.
Blessings to you brother,
---shearon on 5/3/05

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