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Tell My Old Mom To Be Positive

I'm taking care of my mom,87 yrs. She is very forgetful and keeps saying stuff like,"my mind went for a walk and didn't come back" and very negative things about her mental health. Should I just go along with her or tell her to quit saying such things?

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 ---sues on 5/3/05
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Your Mother is your Mother, there is no other. She put her mind into you. Do not stop her from saying things, but do not go along with it; don't play games. Keep her busy and active. It is normal for her to forget things at her age. Bring the pleasant things to her mind. What she says is what has been said to her. Her short-term memory is what she is talking about.
---gregg4933 on 5/19/07

I would just join in with her and make light of it. Something like, "it must have taken mine with it..." or "and it didn't invite me for company."

I am 47, and my favorite line is "Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most."

I believe she is expressing her frustration aat seeing that she is losing her cognitive abilities and has no control over it. Encourage her to keep mentally alert. My mom, at 78, loves to play Scrabble with us kids. It keeps her alert.
---Madison on 5/6/05

My mother is 90 and would never say such things. She finally conceded that she is getting old, and wont't allow you to call her old.

Your mother is getting a liitle depressed and needs your reassurance that she is a valuable member of the family and that she is loved.

You know what to do. Never ignore a voice calling out to you, especially that of your mother's. God bless you and your mother.
---CAROLYN on 5/5/05

Thanx for all the replies. It's hard taking care of my ma sometimes, but I love her and she is kinda funny sometimes. It just makes me really sad when she acknowleges that she is getting forgetful (a lot). I wish she'd concentrate on the positive more.
---sue on 5/4/05

Just go along with her, or don't respond to it. She's obviously bright enough to know that with age come some forgetfulness, at least she has a sense of humor!
I'm 55 and I have a 'senior moment' now and then! B vitimins help the memory, especially B-12, you might get her some!
---NV_Barbara on 5/4/05

Sue:-You have been blessed to have your mom for so long, she is not negative she is still trying to show her love to the only thing she holds dear-YOU-return the love as you best know how, she understands Humour& is using it to her advantage.I can only add 'LOVE one another as I have loved you'.I am an octogenarian, acceptance at that age is as important as when a person is16.Give her a hug from this writer love is all that is left. The word FAMILY= Father & Mother I LOVE YOU.
---Emcee on 5/3/05

I don't think that we should humour old people when they become a little forgetful. To help keep her mind active as long as possible I challenge my mum, same age as yours, and tell her when she has got something wrong. That makes her think and use her brain. If someone is diagnosed with alzheimers that's different. There is no point in challenging anything then. All we can do at that stage is love and care for them making sure their needs are supplied just like they supplied ours when young.
---F.F. on 5/3/05

It is a very frightening thing to feel you can't remember. What I do with my 87 year old Mom is help her sort out what is natural, or previous forgetfullness to what is really linked to her age.Example,she said I went from one room to another and forgot why.My reply, Mom I've done that all my life ,haven't you when you were young.Help her grasp what is truely a problem and what is just absentmindedness.It helps to ease their fear of losing control.Show her everyone forgets sometimes.Keep it light,but never ignore her feelings and fear.Say Mom lets pray about it.Comfort her.
---Darlene1 on 5/3/05

She seens to know that her mind is not what it used to be and she is saying it in a humerous way. That's positive. Be kind to her and respond in a lighthearted way also. It will do both of you good!I have known some craby old people but she is ok!
---Pierr7958 on 5/3/05

Reading the book of Philippians is a positive book. There is alot of joy in it.
And it talks about the mind.
Philippians 2:5-11
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus................
Also Philippians 4:4 - Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say REJOICE.
Also Philippians 4:8 - Finally brethren, whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there be any virtue and if there is anything praise worthy, Meditate on these things.
---Barbara_again on 5/3/05

Seniors have a way of saying "they forget" alot.
Or a coded way of apologizing for something they can't really explain why they do things. It is obvious to all that is just not the same at 87 as it was at 27. Can you give her greetings from me. Chatlines can make friends of even seniors and help to keep the mind alert. God bless caregivers who understand and are patient and kind. Some day I may be senior and for sure I am already older than when I started this note!!!!
---Barba6786 on 5/3/05

Sues ... thats what people get like as they get older.

She is bound to be forgetful ... it usually starts much earlier than 87.

And if she is negative about her mental health, its probably because she cannot remember so easily or work things out so quickly, or finds money a difficulty, & changing prices. It's all normal.

And if she IS depressed, the worst thing you can say is "pull yourself together"

God bless you both
---Alan_of_U.K. on 5/3/05

it must be hard for you.But understand it must be even harder for her,God sees her heart.All she needs is love and care.Love her up, initiat prayer with her, read bible to her.Most of all Pray for her a lot and ask your friends to do so.i believe she will quit saying negative if God's word will live in her heart dayly and positive attitude.
---niga6766 on 5/3/05

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