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My Husband Has Many Problems

My husband and I have been involved in a Christian Ministry. My husband has many problems. The pastor told me I cannot return until my husband is cleared, because I got his problems as we are married and two are one. I was shattered.

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 ---Jan on 5/9/05
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i believe your pastor is wrong. he is trying to play god by not forgiving your husband and by blaming you. i think you should try another church.
---CAROL on 5/12/08

What kind of problems?
---RUSSELL on 4/20/07

Please excuse my honesty. That is horrible. I do not care what his problems or yours are --- that is not christian. Jesus loved everyone, criminals, lepars, people no one else wanted to be around. He told us to do the saem. try another church. Patty
---patty on 6/28/05

wow. then, i'd find another church and not look back...dust your feet! <>< hang in there God has something for you both.
---monique on 5/13/05

You stated that your husband "has many problems". Pastor has a responsibility to his whole congregation. He may have had a good reason for asking you to take time off and take care of the "problems". He also said your husband needed to be "cleared". This doesn't sound like a small thing. You ARE one with your husband but I don't understand why pastor feels this must limit YOUR ministry unless you were part of the "problem". Blessings!
---Elsie on 5/11/05

Your husband is part of you. Ask pastor if you should stay home if your foot or arm hurt.

You should either talk seriously with the pastor or find another church with a sane pastor.
---Albert on 5/11/05

after reading your letter as a counsellor there are gaps in your report that needs to be filled to allow anyone to really give you good advice. Did your pastor stop you from church? or from the ministry you were doing? what problems do your husband have? did pastor counsel you and eplain to you the spiritual principle you sougth to quote. Have you and your husband sought to ignore all and seek God , repenting of any sins and ask him to restore you to your ministry?
---guyiyae on 5/10/05

Don't be quick to blame the pastor. We don't know the goings on.If the couple are fighting, argueing in public, in the ministry, it is harming the onlookers view of what a christian marriage is-derimental to new believers. And the bible tells us that our houses must be in order before we can lead others. So it is good to seek the Lord for healing of those problems before they burden others who are innocent. (1 Timothy 3:5) If anyone does not know how to manage his own family,how can he take care
---Eloia8896 on 5/10/05

your pastor is wrong i think he should support you, let you stay in the ministry regardless of what your husbands past you pastor should let you know if you need time off then to take it, he should leave it up to you i think i would find another church i mean i was raped & severely depressed & my pastor didnt take my ministry away instead she & he supported & nutured me back to health & helped me in my ministry even when i thought i wanted to give it up they encouraged me to continue to help my growth
---andre9789 on 5/10/05

I cannot believe that in your time of need that your Pastor is asking you not to go to church. It really does not matter what your husbands problems are, you both need prayer support and christian counselling. No wonder you are shattered. God loves you both and knows exactly how you are feeling. Pray for God to lead you to another church where the pastor is more loving.
---Nina on 5/10/05

If the intention of your pastor is the improvement of your marriage then I agree provided he is willing to help in this matter. If his intention is just o prevent embarassment then he is wrong. Helping you should be the motive for his decision. As for you both. take the time off to work on the areas of your marriage or whatvevr problem you may be going thru. Having been in munistry myself, I know how it feels. Most important - remember the Lord knows, understands and will help.
---stanley on 5/10/05

Jan, I agree with "Elder". Non of us can make any effective or helpful comment if we do not have an idea of the problem. If his problem is due to disobedience or abandoning a previous marriage resulting in consequences I can see their point. Forgiveness comes with repentance. Can't say more.
---benonia on 5/10/05

You could find another church to attend, and hopefully one which has a much better Pastor.
---Eloy on 5/10/05

Problems from his childhood...his father rejected he cant show love to me since we married, wont provide, his/mine not ours.
---Jan on 5/10/05

Jan:This seems to be a private Matter.However No Pastor has the right to deny God to his flock.Seek the guidance of an impartial minister or Priest not related to the issue. Prayer is important if your concsience is in accord with your teaching within the word & the advice given then acyt on that if it is wrong keep away.I would not recommend an open confession for discussion
---Emcee on 5/9/05

I think your pastor is wrong.. of all the times you need to be loved and nurtured by your church family it is now... I am a pastor and the last thing I would do would be tell a person to stay away from church...annie6483
---Annie6483 on 5/9/05

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Jan, we hate to sound nosey but your statements are not full enough to give you solid advice.

If your husbands "problems" have to do with sin they are not on your account unless you helped him to perform them.

With money and bills you may very well be responsible.

See what I mean? We would have to guess just to give you an answer so if you feel comfortable please reveal what you mean.

If you do or don't we will still be praying for you as God knows.

God Bless.
---Elder on 5/9/05

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. As his wife the Pastor is right in telling you not to come back yet. Your husband needs you more than ever right now. Allow God to mend and heal that heart of yours, and to help you be there for your husband. My prayers go out to you!
---Katie on 5/9/05

i believe your pastor is wrong. he is trying to play god by not forgiving your husband and by blaming you. i think you should try another church. caroa9338
---CAROL on 5/9/05

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