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This Guy Has Mild Interest In Me

Why is it that Guys cannot open up and tell you how they feel. This is after first date they can take you to a movie, dinner and show they are interested in you. But all you get is a note once in awhile. What is wrong here?

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 ---abby on 5/15/05
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Stanley's long gone, but the previous blogger hit the nail squarely on the head.
"Stanley" is looking back into the rearview mirror, living in lala land. It's so easy to idealize unrequited love. The green is grassy on the knoll, until you marry the person. Same thing, different day. It's a crush that never came to fruition, and your memory can build that crush up into this grandiose ideal situation that simply does not exist. A great escape from the mundane and reality of real life.
---Brad on 7/1/07


Hi Abby
- the only thing that I can think in my case is the fear of refusal.
I loved a girl so much since we were teens but I never told her - how I wish that I had even if she had said no.
That was over 20 years ago and not a day has passed without me thinking of her.
Today both our marriages have suffered - she is into her third and I am miserable in my first but will not divorce because of the kids.
I think you should not wait but approach him so you know where you both stand.
---stanley on 7/1/07


Stanley,
You sound like you have idealized this old flame. If you were meant to be with her, you wouldn't have settled down with someone else and produced children and built a life for yourself. I think it would benefit you to set your eyes on Christ, take a long look at the blessings before you, and make the rest of your life a good one. Your wife will love you more, your children will rise up and bless you, and God will reward you. The past is behind, press on ahead dear brother.
---Julie on 5/15/05


Thank you all for your words of encourgement,it has helped me see somethings,It has been 2 wks. not a word yet.I do have patience but the patience has went on too long.Im moving on now if he comes around it may be too late here in Tenn.
---abby on 5/15/05


Abby...I am having the same situation as you...men are creatures of head games and don't like making commitments...I am finding that more and more and it doesn't have anything to do with us lacking patience or anything else..and unless I find I am wrong (haven't met an honest man yet!) my belief stays as it is..
---Fran8674 on 5/15/05




Dear Abby: The "chemistry" has to really be in sinc for both parties to initially take off like gang busters. However guys usually do not express their emotions easily. Enjoy dating-every single experience teaches you something about human nature and yourself. If a guy is interested enuf to write a note, that's great! Most don't like to do that either. Put first dates out of your mind, keep praying that God will send the right person and HE WILL! If not, you wouldn't want that guy anyway!
---Elsie on 5/15/05


Abby, you need to exercise a virtue called: "Patience" :))
---Albert on 5/15/05


That is a technical question that requires a technical answer. It is right brain/left brain. There is nothing wrong. A guy thinks primarily from the left brain. He takes you out to dinner and a movie. The girl thinks primarily from the right brain and feels all the joy. Writing a note telling how you feel is a right brain activity.
---gregg4933 on 5/15/05


Abby:
First of all GUYS are not all the same! You may have been moving too fast to notice!? I think you should determine if this fellow is slow1 or slow2.
slow1 = nice, kind, easy going, reserved,
slow2 = socially ackward and backwards.
Then fit your need but don't run him over, whatever you do!
---Pierr7958 on 5/15/05


He's probably not that "into you" emotionally or any other way. I've found that if a guy is really "into you" like, really likes you and enjoys being in your company and calling you and doing things, he reveal how he feels and communicates freely. Maybe he just things you're casual friends but you have understood it to be more of a dating relationship. Pull over and check the map and ask questions.
---shara8479 on 5/15/05




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