Techniques For Spanking Your Kids
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"Johnny, mommy loves you, but you shouldn't have done that. I want you to grow up to be a kind and gentle person, so I'm going to hit you."
Humm, I don't think so. |
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---deb on 5/29/08 |
i agree with your methods micheala and i hope that you continue to have well behaved kids. |
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---john on 5/26/08 |
HI~ my name is kim eu kook. I am interested in spanking kid. so I joined this site~ Have a nice daY ~~ And Thank you for every one~~~ |
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---kim_eu_kook on 5/25/08 |
I agree with Chris. It is no less than child abuse. And for what? The children are probably sending you a message that you are neglecting them. Don't have children if you cannot be bothered to spend your time with them so that they will feel valued and have no need to commit offenses. But some people have babies for their own amusement or because they did nothing to prevent it (like abstain from intercourse), when the unwanted kids get big, they know they are not wanted. |
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---frances008 on 5/4/08 |
I'm fairly new to this site, and browsing the blogs for the first time, and I am appalled at what I'm reading here. Some of these posts are so sick and perverted I can't believe I'm reading them on a Christian site. Abusive perverts calling themselves Christians! |
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---Chris on 5/3/08 |
Well, I have to tell you some of the answers I am seeing is sickening. |
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---catherine on 5/3/08 |
How many here think that they are smarter than King Solomon?
Pro 23:13,14 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. |
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---jerry6593 on 5/3/08 |
"Our daughter was spanked about a month ago at 15. In our home, all spankings are given either bare bottom or over the panties/underware." The thought of a 15 year old girl having her bare bottom or underwear revealed as part of a physical punishment fills me with horror. How can this EVER be correct? It would be humiliating enough for a 15 year to be spanked at all (there are more effective punishments for that age group) but to reveal that part of her anatomy is totally disgusting. |
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---RitaH on 5/3/08 |
Andrew, why is there a need to first spank with a hand and then also use a strap on your children? Isn't one form of punishment enough for you? Did any verses of scripture help you to decide that a double dose of punishment was correct? |
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---RitaH on 5/2/08 |
We have a long chat before, to decide why and how to proceed, and to mak sure they feel loved by us even though the spanking will hurt/sting. We spank over 1 thin layer, by hand for a minute, then with a special kids strap 5-15 gentle smacks, slowly and making sure the kids are ok throughout, thanks, Andrew |
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---Andrew on 5/1/08 |
I'm pro-spanking - not beating to blister or bleed given or received by some ...spanking is last resort for children unwilling to listen - (children not teenagers) - appears many use it first proud of bare bottomed "discipline" ...using christianity as a means to apply the rod is sad
disciplining teenagers be withholding privledges - not humilating them - removing their underwear receiving a bare-bottomed spanking a 3 or 5 year old receives ..that is perverted and sickening |
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---Rhonda on 2/26/08 |
We beleive that spanking is most effective between the ages of about 2 to 10. They will likely be needed less between 11 and 13 or so. From 13 on, I would say they should be rare, but still an option in exceptional case. Our daughter was spanked about a month ago at 15. In our home, all spankings are given either bare bottom or over the panties/underware. |
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---Jen on 2/23/08 |
When will people learn that to 'discipline' means to teach. Teach your children with love, not violence and humiliation. The 'rod' in 'spare the rod' was a tool to gently lead sheep, not beat them. |
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---sue on 11/29/07 |
My 16 year old daughter and 13 year old son lives with me still. So does my grand child. I have spanked my kids and just 3 months ago my daughter recieved a spanking and it was well deserved. She will be the first to acknowledge this. She has been an honor roll student every year, and will graduate next year and start college in N. Carolina. . I do not punish my kids, I discipline them. That is not to say that I do not blister butts because I do and I take my time. |
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---Jason on 11/29/07 |
It is a sickening thought to endure that Christian parents feel that they have a right to spank a child or worse spank them bare bottom. I am a Christian and wont subject my kids to that nor do we have a relationship with my parents due to their abuive punishments as are similar to this. |
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---Hannah on 11/24/07 |
For goodness' sake, don't you know by now that spanking is illegal in many places?
And even where it isn't, do you think it's right to teach a child that it is okay for an adult to hit a child? Because that's what you're doing.
And if your child thinks it's all right for an adult to hit a child, imagine what else your child will think is all right for grownups to do to his/her body. *shudders*
Think about that.
And about whether Jesus would ever do anything to hurt a child. |
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---Nancy on 11/20/07 |
I say beat 'em good and make sure they cry their sorriness. then stop. once they say their really sorry, then it's good. When I was a kid, my dad had me get naked and beat me with anything handy, usually a whip, and once i was bleeding and said i was sorry, he stopped. I'm still alive. But don't go too far. Sometimes it can damage. |
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---Janet on 11/19/07 |
If you truly loved your children, Friends, I assure you, there would be no need for spanking, because most child rebellion is due to the child detecting the great discrepancies in their parent. The Bible does not force this act, and while it does allow it, the better part of wisdom, is to love them deeply. I have found that most acts of child rebellion are due to the legalism, etc., of the parents. Rare exceptions apply. |
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---Daniel on 10/17/07 |
I have 3 boys and I spank them as discipline with my hand (occasionally a brush for major offenses) on the bare bottom with them over my knee. I am a strong christian. My boys are 3, 5, and 7 and are usually well behaved. |
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---Kim on 10/16/07 |
Alan, I agree with you. The only point I was making regarding humiliation is that there is no need to humiliate someone by removing their clothing, especially from that particular part of the body. Punishment of any kind is humiliating at the time, even making a child stand in a corner of a classroom, or being shouted at in front of others. The humiliation in those cases will often help the child to learn not to misbehave again. |
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---RitaH on 10/7/07 |
I will admit that I spanked my kids when they were small. My wife and I began chastening our daughters at a very early age.
I taught my wife that if you spank a child make it count. Also when they were small we always used our bare hands to ensure we knew how hard we were spanking.
We have always tried to communicate with them a lot, every day, and show them love.
I have 2 daughters, 14 and 15. We haven't spanked them in years. We don't need to. They are very great kids. |
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---trey on 10/6/07 |
Rita ... I too am concerned that so many here think that punishment has to be spanking on a bare bottom. There seems to be a sort of perversion there.
But thinking about your humiliation comment, it struck me that a very effective ancient punishment for wrong-doers was to put them on display in the stocks.
And of course we can by mere words humiliate and offender (or any one else) in front of others.
I wonder if humiliation is really an invalid punishmemnt mehtod? |
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---alan_of_UK on 10/4/07 |
What amazes me the most after reading many posts of this subject is, not that many approve of spanking but, that many seem obsessed with it having to be on a bare bottom. Does scripture say where on the body the spank should be and does scripture say that it must be on bare flesh? To me, it is rather disturbing that some parents feel the need to remove another person's underwear as part of the punishment and totally degrade the child in so doing. |
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---RitaH on 10/4/07 |
2. I am receiving the impression here that some of you get some sort of perverted satisfaction from humiliating another person. Children must be disciplined if they are to grow into decent adults and, I personally, think that physical punishment is not always wrong, but the way it is sometimes administered is very wrong and often done for the wrong reasons. It should be swift, fair and as private as possible. |
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---RitaH on 10/4/07 |
I'm a divorced mom with an 11 year old daughter and 9 year old son. Both are spanked over my knee, on the bare bottom. Most times I use my hand, but occasionally a hairbrush. They are embarassed to still be punished like that, but I was spanked until I was 15. I plan to continue spanking as long as it is effective. |
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---Debby on 10/3/07 |
Some of the posts here seem made up. It really isn't difficult to distinguish between abusive behavior and traditional discipline. There is simply nothing wrong with a bare bottom spanking if the sitaution calls for it. My three kids know that repeated and/or willful disobedience will result in being placed across mine or my husband's lap. That knowledge does wonders. |
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---Vivian on 9/22/07 |
Children need to be spanked with love, and provided with reassurance and forgiveness afterward. |
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---Bill on 8/29/07 |
#1 Before I had children, I didn't believe in spanking. I thought I had many different strategies (time-out, loss of privileges). When my first child was a toddler and I realized she was a handful & read up on spanking. Here's some rules on spanking that made sense and avoided overusing it:
1) Spank when the child puts him/herself in danger (running out in the street)
2) Spank to end a power struggle. It's a quick way to end it and lets them know you're in charge. |
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---Sherry on 6/28/07 |
#2 Don't spank out of anger. Once they are punished, forgive them. Contrary to popular belief, a parent should not give immediate hugs and kisses. Walk away calmly and immediately shower them with XOXO & compliments when child is calm and does something good like picks up toys. (I've never needed to use any objects and didn't remove clothing when I spanked.) |
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---Sherry on 6/28/07 |
#3 Whew, I'm longwinded...
When my children were school aged, I rarely needed to spank anymore and used other techniques (remove favorite toy, discuss cause/effect, sit out playground time etc.) Remember to stay positive and praise/reward the good things your child does. Every child has different personalities; just because the bible says a child should be spanked, it may not be inevitable. If other things work, then it might not be necessary to spank. |
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---Sherry on 6/28/07 |
p13. Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.roverbs 23 v |
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---ben on 6/28/07 |
Rebecca, are you saying your fiance' spanked you when you were 'bad'?! |
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---sue on 6/28/07 |
Rebecca ... If I had spanked my fiancee, I would not expect her respect |
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---alan_of_UK on 6/28/07 |
When I was a teenager< I went to a Baptist Bording SChool. I cant say how many times a cane or paddle was used on my bottom forcing me to tears and submission, but I know how to respect those in authority, and my fiancee, who used maintenance spanking because I do have a willful side. It's very important for girls to learn how to respect authority. |
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---Rebecca on 6/27/07 |
Marty: I agree with Robyn regarding the differance between disapline and punishment. Disapline: to teach with love. Punishment: teach fear. |
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---sue on 6/11/07 |
Let me say here and now I do not believe in abusing kids or anyone, for that matter.
I used verbal discipline first. If that did not work then I spanked. I began with the hand. I used the belt or a small switch from a tree. According to what they did. I would give 2-3 taps in the hand for a light offense. Sometimes I used the belt, if the child refused to stop when I tell them to,or the switch is not working anymore. More for something more serious. Depends also on the age of the child. |
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---Robyn on 6/11/07 |
I would also lay the child over my lap and whack the behind. I would use my hand to whack the behind. All depends. Use time outs for young kids, naps and anything that worked. Very seldom I used the rod but I did not hesitate ,if I had to.After 12 the spanking should stop. Other forms of discipline should be used. |
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---Robyn on 6/11/07 |
The difference in punishment and discipline.Discipline is done out of love. For guidance and correction.
Punishment is done with force and hatred. Stems from ignorance and fear. Its is just the opposite of discipline. It is done to intimidate and to laud power over another individual. Usually done for all the wrong reasons. We certainly don't want to do this to our kids. We should always discipline in a spirit of love. To teach and correct. |
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---Robyn on 6/11/07 |
To stir the mix whats the difference between punishment and discipline??? Spankings a biggy in my country where the government was attempt to push 100% no hit policy, (against an 85% public opinion disagreeing with it). Any way violence does tend to beget more violence. But the bible speaks clearly of disclipining (physically) both children and fools/adults if they need it. Would be interested in your thoughts on the difference. |
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---Marty on 6/11/07 |
sarah>>> Come on now, I know that you are jokeing. |
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---catherine on 6/10/07 |
I usually call my child over, make them strip and whip them with a thin branch until they bleed all over. That generally does it. I got that, and I'm fine... |
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---sarah on 6/10/07 |
kath44, I think you're right.
Katy9548, did this woman email you for help? I hope so and I hope you could help her. |
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---sue on 5/18/07 |
I am a married wife, 38, husbnds name is wolf, we have three children, mmber of the Protestantic Church, living in Hamburg, Germany |
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---johanna_burger on 5/17/07 |
NV Barbara: If there in a cult group with their own private school or home school it's harder if they stay only within. Anyway..oh my Dad was a spanker..and line up for it?..heck no! Some sort of brainwashing has been going on with these girls. Or some sort of after-reward to make them ask for a spanking first. And how many Mothers say they don't know "THAT" is going on. There's more than spankings going on here! But yes, we must all pray for these girls and the whole family for that matter. |
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---kathr4453 on 5/15/07 |
It's obvious this woman is not serious or needs to be reported before more harm is done to these children. It is blatant that it's not everyone you can share with, but then I guess one would not know what people are really doing to them, God Please Help those children! |
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---Carla5754 on 5/15/07 |
I do not believe Katie's story. Hope I am right that it is just made up. |
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---Helen_5378 on 5/14/07 |
I think katy9548 warned her to say no more! |
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---kathr4453 on 5/14/07 |
Kathr, I pray that one of these girls will tell a teacher or a Grandparent what is going on NOW! They need to be removed from this abusive situation!
Children ASKING to be punished? I think not. |
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---NVBarbara on 5/14/07 |
Spanking should hurt, but not injure, and should be earned, not given casually. See God's examples of punishment in the Bible. I received many spankings when I was little, but looking back I have to admit that I deserved every one of them. I earned them all. I was a hard worker! LOL |
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---Anthony on 5/14/07 |
So, Katie, are you still out there? I have a feeling this was just a hoax because it's so far out. If not why doesn't this Katie respond? Are you there Katie? |
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---sue on 5/14/07 |
im 18 years of age and have no experience in partenthood, but i feel that spanking or physically hurting your children as a form of punisment is wrong, my father is abusive and hits me for the arbest of things,it is very damaging to the childs soul when you hit them,please stop |
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---zandra-lee on 5/14/07 |
NV Barbara: At what age do these girls ASK to stop being punished. I agree with Robert.
The story in my city (this was several years ago) a cult posing as a church had many sister churches in other states, were taking these girls at 12 years and up (after their minds are broken with abuse) and forced into marriages with old men. Not legal marriages of coarse. They weren't mormon. So much awful stuff goes on we don't even know the half. |
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---kathr4453 on 5/14/07 |
I Totally agree with Robert. This is SICK and ALL of you need help!
PVC cord? Your husband 'ENJOYS' this?
You guys are whackos!
Child services should be called in, I pray that one of your girls tells someone close of what goes on! |
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---NVBarbara on 5/13/07 |
Katie:What you are doing is sick, sick, sick. You are setting them up to be abused by men. Your husband is obviously a man who likes abusing women. Please get counseling from someone to explain the perverse relationship that YOU too are involved and encouraging. When they grow up, if this continues unchecked, and they WILL be taught how wrong this is, there could be serious repercussions.
There was a Church in my city that practiced this kind of discipline. Many were arrested including the pastor. |
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---kathr4453 on 5/12/07 |
Katie, sorry to say this, but you and your husband sound like two perverts. |
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---Caring on 5/10/07 |
I agree with Ashly on this definately, Mine are a few taps thats after my little boy slips into six pairs of pants, his sister says he runs into the next room and laughs. But at least I feel I have fulfilled my parental duty of Proverbs 13. I always kiss them and hug them, but if you leave a child with wealts you will provoke him to anger, and break his or her little spirit, so that they can never recover. All should be done with HUGE AMOUNTS of Love. |
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---Cynthia_1 on 5/10/07 |
there is nothing wrong with using an open hand to spank a child to teach them respect when they do wrong. You then show them an increased love and understanding afterwards so they do not see you as their enemy. you give them many hugs and kisses afterwards. what was described earlier is abuse plain and simple. that is not discipline. that is nothing more than satanic sacrilege where the parents are glorified for their own self gratification. they are not worthy of the blessings of parenthood. |
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---ashley on 5/9/07 |
katie...you and your husband should be reported for abuse. |
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---JIM on 5/9/07 |
I hope Katie is just winding us up!
If not, she and her husband need real help, and her children need our prayers |
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---alan_of_UK on 5/9/07 |
Katie... up until now, I stayed out of this debate. I am a firm believer of disciplining children WHEN THEY NEED IT, but if what you just posted is true both you and your husband are guilty of abuse.
This is NOT punishment. I don't know what you get out of this, but this is sexual gratification for your husband, plan and simple. |
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---NurseRobert on 5/9/07 |
Katie, please contact me in the pen pals. I have some questions. My id is Katy9548 and this is URGENT! Please Please Please contact me. |
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---katy9548 on 5/9/07 |
Our Girls -6&8yrs get spanked every 2nd Fri night .They kneel before their Father and ask to be punished.
My husband uses a piece of pvc coated electrical cord .
They dare not move.Their bottoms are welted.My husband enjoys administering loving punishment to his daughters. |
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---Katie on 5/9/07 |
I'm a single mother of two wonderful boys. I have tried all other methods of punishments and found what works the best is a good bare bottom spanking. I use a sandal sole on the youngest and a brush for my oldest. |
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---Michaela on 5/2/07 |
What is making our kids disrespectful today is not the fact that we aren't hitting them enough....in my opinion it is the fact that we are not spending enough TIME with them. Everybody is too busy to properly teach their kids with LOVE, it is easier to punish them with a slap, takes less time and time is money now a days it seems. |
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---sue on 5/1/07 |
The only time I ever got paddled was when I was 14 in high school, when a vice-principal hit me because a teacher thought I was in a fight (someone else hit me and I didn't hit back). Well, I'm now 47 and he is 61 - and I returned the favor to his face recently. He'll never do it to anyone again! |
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---mike on 5/1/07 |
We use the rod slipper belt and paddle when needed. Punishment for our kids is severe but not brutal. Backed up with an hours prayer plus a red bared bottom will ensure our children visit heaven rather than hell. |
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---Mark on 5/1/07 |
I want to say that I stand 100% on what the Bible says about it. Done with love, I find it most effective, as children today lack respect, and boundries, there is an apathy in the air. I find it most appropriate to write and answer this at this time, since at this very moment California is trying to pass a criminal law on parents who spank there children, God forbid, this is against my religion. This apathetic humanism is demoralizing our God given authority to demonstrate Biblical Responsibility. |
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---Cynthia_1 on 2/25/07 |
Sara, your comments sound like your're a huminists liberal. It's sad you really believe spanking - which is scriptual is the same as "waiting for a baby to be born so it can be violated"...Really... |
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---Terry on 12/20/06 |
It is just plain indecent to spank children.
A Christian especially, should know better than to violate a child's body. You may be happy because you see your child acting like a programmed doll, but believe me, they can become messed up sexually later on due to being disciplined inappropriately. If you haven't had childen yet and you believe in spanking, please do your unborn children a favor and refrain from giving birth. No child should be born to parents just waiting to slap them. |
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---Sara on 12/19/06 |
Jeanne, "Dont forget on these blogs U cant hear the tone, cadence, see the persons expression etc. So it is harder sometimes to know what that person meant"... very true. Thank you and a very merry Christmas to you and yours also! |
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---Christina on 12/15/06 |
Christina I am a mom of 4 so I wasnt talking about the average mom/dad trying to do the right thing. I meant dont be handsy first make sure the child is out of danger, not in anger, not just "because" these types of things. Dont forget on these blogs U cant hear the tone, cadence, see the persons expression etc. So it is harder sometimes to know what that person meant, yes we are on the same page. Merry Christmas to you and your family too! |
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---Jeanne on 12/14/06 |
Jeanne "what I meant by that was those that just boom boom hit dont take a deep breath, dont collect themselves or the ones that hit in anger when we all know nothing should be done in anger."
ok. I think we understand each other now. Blessings. |
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---Christina on 12/14/06 |
mary...discipline IS done out of Love...to save a child from harm...abuse is not done in love...i.e. the alcoholic who beats up his wife just for the kicks is obviously an abuser...abuse is an act of hatred...the parent who hates his child...will let him roam free...not disciplining...lack of discipline is proof of lack of love...it is an error to group discipline and abuse together since the former is constructive and the latter is destructive...rachel... |
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---Reiter on 12/13/06 |
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