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Divorce Separated Spouse

Unbelieving spouse moved out, but doesn't file for divorce, where does that leave believer? Spouse says he doesn't want divorce, but is living separately (not even supporting his child!). Am I bound to stay w/ him or am I permitted to file divorce? How long must I stay in this kind of limbo?

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 ---Ana on 5/25/05
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Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer, and anyone marrying one, is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'. Matthew 19:9, 1Corinthians 7:27-28 allow remarriage. He violates Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 5:31-32, by departing, but not divorcing.
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Matthew 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27.
---Glenn on 8/16/09


1 Corin. 7:8-16 has the answer. My pastor gave me this scripture but he would not tell me what it meant? After reading this passage for three years God finally spoke to me in a quite still voice and gave me the answer. Because your spouse is a nonbeliever the word says,"...For the unbelieving spouse is sanctified by the other: else were you children unclean, but now are they holy...But if the unbelieving depart, let them depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace."
I hope this helps but to be sure seek Godly counsel to make sure I intrepreted correctly. God Bless.
---Angela on 6/4/09


basically, he's an unbeliever. So the marriage between you and him never took place in the first place(if you married him after u became a christian). Secondly, if u became a christian after marriage, Paul says the still unbelieving spouse can depart if he wants to. So, don't listen to those smart alecs who ask you to remain in this destructive 'marriage' cos God never agreed to this marriage in the first place. wedding vows read by humans don't get God's thumbs up if it is against His will. Rather, repent for getting into this mess in the first place and get out.
---lee on 3/22/09


First of all the bible says women submit yourselves to your own husbands, and men do the same to their own wives. you are not to put away your husband nor your wife, and if you do you commited adultery. you are suppose to help your husband or your wife with whatever situation they may be in and to try to reconcile with each other. No do not file for divorce bcause God is not in favour of this. Help him or her and pray together or for each other.
---joyce6766 on 4/19/08


Yes, God hates divorce and believers are not to be unequally yoked, light cannot co-exist with dark. 1 Peter 3:1-8 instructs mates and saints to live humbly. I urge those facing this situation seek the Holy Spirit,repent, forgive, and be forgiven. If divorce is the answer, get one. However, you have a responsibility to train up your child in the way that s/he must go - not use the child as a weapon against the child's father; the parent-child relationship will never replace the marital relationship.
---StDaphne on 4/30/07




take yourbible and read it so you want for get ./what he said .;'keep my comments .;'so that what he wants us to do .
---glenda on 4/12/07


A man who dont take care of His family is worse than a infidel. It is written God hates devorce and He as well alows it. God Hiimself is a devorcee. God devorced Israel and put her away and proclaims to Judah if they fall He will put them out as well. Your filing for devorce under the scriptual terms of abandenment would be right with a proper attitude of bringing the one back to there sences in hope the act of filing would bring them back but if not devorce is just
---kirk3998 on 6/18/05


If we could see through God's eye's it would be easy to see a whole picture, but we only see through our eyes and cannot see what he is going to do. That is where our faith comes in. Without it, we are like the world. How long should you wait? You will know and what you decide God already knows. My prayers are for you and your family, All for God's glory.
---Lupe2618 on 6/6/05


Ana, I know your needs are so important because i felt the same as you. Just think of "how can God get glory out of all this? Make the decision for God as the focus and you will do fine. I know how hard it is to know your husband is enjoying himself while you are home. but that enjoyment is temporary and your is forever.
---Lupe2618 on 6/6/05


I don't know why are how God works but I do know that the prayers for the money that the sister needed was answered. and so was for the couple. God used my cercumstance to get glory. Sure I was suffering as I thought, but God was doing something more serious then my needs. I know making a decision like that is not easy but I wanted you to look as to how God works in many cases when we only see our needs.
---Lupe2618 on 6/6/05




I put the 1,500 in an envelope and gave her the money no questions ask. The next day I gave the rest of the 2,000 dollars to a couple that needed a place to stay. Now I had no more money to pay the lawyer. I don't know how all this came about but I do know that God was involve in all of it. My wife did come back two months later. In a years time she also became a child of God. We lived so great and happy for eight years when she died 98 at a hospital.
---Lupe2618 on 6/6/05


That maybe through me, God was going to bring her forward to. She asked me "why I was in such a hurry and if I had prayed why didn't I trust God." After that call I went to a prayer meeting that night and at the prayer meeting I heard a prayer request of a sister that was losing her house and everything in three days and she was a single mom. that night I felt this need to help her and so the next day I went and asked her how much she needed. She said 1,500.
---Lupe2618 on 6/6/05


I took the money out and had to see "Lawyer" the next day. the night before a sister that didn't know me but had heard of what happened to me called me and ask me how I was doing. I told her what I was going to do. She told me not to do it. She said she was going to ask me two questions. The first was, "how long did it take me to come to Christ?" I answered 44 years. and she told me, "Why don't you give your wife a chance.
---Lupe2618 on 6/6/05


Ana, before you do anything please just read what happened to me. I can see that you are not in need of money so that is not the case and you say you don't want to be in limbo. which I find to be the case. In my case my wife left me in 1990. She was having fun at the bars with friends. I waited for her to come back but I saw that is was just not going to happen, so I was adviced to see a lawyer. I went to a Christian lawyer and I was supposed to pay 2,000 dollars.
---Lupe2618 on 6/6/05


Since your husband is not even paying child support, you need to get a seperation agreement, that's legal. But don't give up on him yet, and try to work on your relationship for your children. Demand he be a father and a grown up taking responsibility for his decision and his kids. Accept nothing less. It does not mean he will returned. Seek help and counsel from a Godly source for both of you. Your pain does not have to last a lifetime.
---Charl4494 on 5/26/05


George: To do what is best for me and our child would be to end this. I don't want his money. He could sign away his rights as a parent if he wanted. I just can't stand this state of limbo I am in. He just wants to visit when HE feels like it and it is confusing to our daughter.
---Ana on 5/26/05


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1 Corinthians 7:15
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him or her do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to peace.
---Anne4768 on 5/26/05


We can "cover" a spouses sins, but not stop them.

The Spirit wrote from the beginning to care for yourself and children. God knows the resolution to this. You just pray, do your best for you and your children.

He may be stalling to not have to pay you. What YOU must decide is to what degree you love him. The best way to see how he will act in the future is how he has acted in the past. Everyone can "burden" you with different advice. Seek counsel for yourself.
---George on 5/26/05


This is a problem experienced by many believers including myself. We have been separated for almost seven years and I have had to raise our three boys alone, so I had to go to court. But my ex does not want the divorce, and is doing everything to make to make the divorce impossible for me. The NT does not specifically address this issue, perhaps because the legal system at that time was not this mature. Every case should be evaluated based on its merit.
---emman6675 on 5/26/05


He seems to be trying to keep his options open, which is very selfish of him. If he's moved out AND does not even support his child he has surely abandoned you both. Maybe he doesn't want a divorce so that YOU cannot remarry. Who knows what goes on in someone else's mind? You don't say how long ago he moved out but if it's a year or more I'd say move on. You have yourself and child to think of. He has chosen not to be number one in your life so his wishes don't count. I'm praying for you.
---Xanthi on 5/26/05


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Dear Sister: Please read Paul's writing in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Personally, I would give your marriage every chance and try communicating with him. If possible go to Christian counseling together. You may be able to bring him to the Lord through this situation. Further you must forgive him......really difficult to do but this is the only way to keep bitterness from destroying you. It doesn't sound like either of you communicate. What's up?
---Elsie on 5/26/05


I would encourage you keep on having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Because, it says in the Bible that in Proverbs in one of the verses says, trust in the Lord with all thine heart, never rely on what you think you know, remember the Lord in all you do and he shall direct the paths.

, .
God bless.
Gloria Anson
---matalina_sogao on 5/26/05


hi im sorry your spouse left you.If he has gone to bed with someone else during this seperation you are free as far as God's concerned to divorce
---brook4359 on 5/26/05


Ana:
It would be my understnding that you could file for divorce. You technically cannot divorce an unbeliever who chooses to stay with you but when he/she decides to move out you don't have to stay with him.
---Pierr7958 on 5/26/05


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I would like to give you a scripture that was laid on my heart when I read your question. 1 Cor 7:15 Amplified Bible says; But if the unbelieving partner (actually) leaves, let him do so in such cases the remaining brother or sister is not morally bound. But God has called us to peace. The Holy Spirit is the leader and ask him what you should do and obey his voice not others and obey the word of God regardless to what others say. God wants us to be at peace. I will be praying for you as well.
---dorla8377 on 5/25/05


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