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Put Daughter-In-Law In Jail

How do I handle situation where daughter-in-law emblezzed money from husband's company and keeps grandchildren from seeing us, she has made no effort to ask for forgiveness, and we have evidence to put her in jail. How do I get her to open up.

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 ---barba on 5/30/05
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You don't. You should fire her. And let it go.
---catherine on 2/1/08


It sounds corny now, having read the replies below, but the first thing I thought was 'How awful, I will pray for that family.' So please, I will pray for you right now. I would be tempted to say 'Forgive her' and also 'What is given to a family member is not lost.' I struggle with the same feelings over my family members who took my valued possessions.
---frances on 1/31/08


Obviously this situation needs to have damage limitation on it. You don't want to make things worse. Why not call a family meeting of the four of you and explain that you have some inconsitencies in the bookkeeping. Then give her the opportunity to confess, make amends, and be forgiven.
---frances on 1/31/08


It is advisable to get someone close to you and her to intercede between you two and settle the matter in an amicable way.

Reporting her would make her a permanent enemy of yours plus your grand children will suffer.
---Albert on 1/31/08


It sounds as though you are thinking of using her sin of theft to commit one of blackmail.I hope not.She should have to pay for her crime,but do you want to leave those grandchildren motherless?It's a double edged sword which hurts someone no matter what.Love opens more doors than threats.Remind her,in a meeting,what you did for her,by not putting her in jail,now she can do something for you,let you see the grandchildren.Returning a favor is fair play.Where's son?Why doesn't he bring children to see you?
---Darlene_1 on 5/4/07




You can forgive a person and still insist they get the consequences of their actions legally. Parents do it all the time when they paddle their children. God does it with us. Jail is the consequence of stealing.
---Madison on 6/7/05


If she actually took the money, pray she will come forward, then forgive her.

I suspect there is more going on here than meets the eye. Pray that you can all settle your differences in a matter suitable to God.

Perhaps your son should find work elsewhere. You are all intertwined in such a way that it could be impossible to maintain healthy relations with all involved.
---anon on 6/6/05


If your daughter-in-law took the money, pray she will admit her mistake to you, then forgive her. Try not to be accusatory.

I suspect there is more going on here than meets the eye. I hope you all can settle your differences prayerfully.

Perhaps your son should find work elsewhere. All of you are intertwined in such a way that it could be impossible to maintain healthy relations, even if all are honest.

I say this in a loving way. Please don't take offense.
---anon on 6/6/05


Hi, this could lead to your husband divorcing his wife, and leaving your grandkids with her, I would think carefully about this, I still think she needs to be confronted, why is this all going on behind her back. Have you searched your heart motive? Do you want her out of the family for other reasons. People do things wrong but can be forgiven, go to her, that is the right thing to do.
---Maxine on 6/5/05


Hi,thanks for the support,my son is torn between his wife and mother, I don't want to cause his marriage to split, I just wanted him to know the truth,and I showed him all the months that she had taken money, and he was lost for words, I told him that it was not fair to me, nor the Grandchildren, because We did not cause this problem she did, and that I would pray that she would turn her heart to God, because she is not saved, because saved people will not steal from others.
---barba on 5/31/05




I would have a family meeting with husband and son, without the daughter-in-law. Tell him what you know and that you are going to report your daughter-in-law to the police. She committed a crime and must face the legal consequences for her actions. Don't expect her to ask for forgiveness. Also, tell your son you want to see your grandchildren.
---Madison on 5/31/05


barba, You have my prayers. Are you really sure that your daughter-in-law took the money? This is a hard place you are in, and you must be very carefull with how you handle it. If she has told you she didn't take any money, let it go for now. Just don't give her the chance to do it again. As for seeing your grand-children, maybe if you offer to baby sit while your son takes her out, she will let you see them.
---a_friend on 5/31/05


Your son must take leadership in protecting his family's interests. Anyone who embezzles money will not ask forgiveness. Your son must tell his wife you are aware of her actions and that you can see the grandchildren. Pray for the situation and for your son's marriage. You must be a loving example. "Love covers a multitude of sins." (1Peter4:8)
---Elsie on 5/31/05


Why did she take the money? Are they in financial trouble? You could confront her (with love) about it and ask for some reasons as to why. She won't be a very good mom or wife in jail, so that is probably not the answer, perhaps she is afraid. Try talking to her about it first, see if she will be repentant, remember also that you both need to forgive her, try not to be bitter (hard I can imagine) but see her with Jesus' eyes. I hope you find some answers for all your sakes.
---Maxine on 5/30/05


barba, sorry you are diappointed with answers, we answered according to how your question was worded.Maybe you don't like our answers because they don't agree with your opinion? Hard feelings ? She may be afraid you will influnce the children negatively.Forgive her for your sake.You didn't sound hurt,just angry.You ask for a solution,not prayer.My money was stolen too.Had to be, friend/relative who knew where the safe key was.I know how it feels,but I Let go of pain ,gave it to God.
---Darlene_1 on 5/30/05


I would take it to God, He knows all and he sees all. She won't get away with this from God. I would pray that God will show mercy on her, she is the one going to hell. She needs to get saved, then she will/should apoligize for what she had done. I think what I would do is just leave it alone, if you do pursue this situation, there could be a chance your son won't speak to you, and you won't see your grandchildren at all. I would look at it from a distance. Pray about the situation.
---Rebecca_D on 5/30/05


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I don't know the words to say. I think your son should know. She will probably will think she can get away with it again. if not stopped.
I agree with where is your son how often do you see him? can he bring them by? I'm not judging, He isn't mentioned.
---Laureen on 5/30/05


I am owner of this business, with my husband, and all I want from her is for her to admit to her mistakes and tell us face to face that she is sorry, My son was not aware of the money she has taken, I would never consider blackmailing anyone, I just want information from this christian site of your prayers, and i don't beleive i saw the first one to tell me that you would be praying for us, Not just me, but our entire families are hurt from this, i thought some of you, might would have a better answer.
---barba on 5/30/05


sorry but if the business has no involvement of you being in ownership of the business...you butt out, and pray for your son's marriage. <><
---monique on 5/30/05


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