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Husband Comes Before The Kids

Can someone give me a scripture that says the husband is to come before the children?

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 ---shenae on 6/2/05
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Moderator please tell me why a post I put on here using scriptures passed and went into my private box but never showed up on this Blog. Did you just not like my content,or was what I said contrary to the Bible? Please tell me so if I am wrong and not in line with the Bible I can learn and not make that mistake again. Thank you. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 12/5/13


The Bible doesn't tell wives to obey husbands,Colossians 3:18 Wives submit to your husbands in a way appropriate in the Lord. Children are told to obey, Colossians 3:20 Children obey your parents in everything because this pleases the Lord. The husband is told to love the wife as Christ loves the church. If a husband loves like that and loves his children then there is no problem for the wife to submit to him and he has no problem in her putting the children first because he will too.
---Darlene_1 on 12/4/13


wow lidia, many children are abused. my granddaughter was married( maybe she was) and her fellow broke their baby's leg and ribs and burned him. he was 6 weeks old. he is still in prison and the child was taken from them and adopted out.
---shira4368 on 12/4/13


Hello,Shira4368, You are so right! People have lost their first love -God' son Christ Jesus, and thrown" kids" away ...This is a world problem.
Children feel abandoned,discarded!
I reported a friend, she got mad, fight with her husband,TOOK baby crying,threw him DOWN basement stairs! He was 6 mos. Result- broken leg!

I told the doctor! She did not speak english.
LATER
Respond Yes!. I told them.

Later, she apologized. PSD kept baby 5 mos. Return home, PSD there - every 2 days!

State broke: it' a miracle if they check at all! Every 2 or 4 yrs!
---Lidia4796 on 12/4/13


Darlene, our children are precious. it seems today's children are disposable. if I see any child being abused, I stick my nose in. my husband once did that. a woman was beating her young son..apr 6 yrs old. she was beating him with a broom. it broke my heart. we did call child protective services and my husband told her he was going to call. don't know what happened in the end.
---shira4368 on 12/3/13




Hello,God bless you! Darlene1
Bingo! You are so,right! a child is precious, if baby has to be fed or changed /what ever, you not going to let baby suffer ok!

Now as someone said below, grown up kids.. they can fend for
them self,It' mainly
( UNFUNCTIONABLE)Homes - sadly alcohol,drugs,mental issues' parents, yeah you growUp fast!

No,love you suffer dwn the line!
God did not intend it that way!
---Lidia4796 on 12/2/13


Jed just a little information the Bible doesn't tell women to obey their husbands,children are told to obey. Common sense tells us that no adult,husband or anyone else, should come before helpless children. Children are a gift from God and should be cared for as a precious blessing because they are. I don't remember ever reading a Bible verse that says put your husband first as you do the Lord. The Bible does say submit to the husband as you do the Lord but even that doesn't mean if you have a man who wants something and a child who needs something you serve the husband first. In ordinary day to day living I would have to say a man who thinks his wants or even needs should be tended to before a child's isn't much of a daddy.
---Darlene_1 on 12/2/13


Well, since your husband is your head, as Christ is the head of the church, NOTHING supersedes your husbands authority over you, including your children. You are to obey him as you would obey God. That's not my words, that's the Bible's words. Would you obey your kids over God? I certainly hope not! You are to obey your husband no matter what your kids say.
---Jed on 10/24/13


ephesians 6:3 Honour thy father and mother: (which is the first commandment with promise)
---shira4368 on 10/23/13


I am uncertain as to the EXACT SCRIPTURE but it reads HONOR THY HUSBAND AS YOU HONOR THY GOD.If this is the case and NOTHING AND NO ONE comes BEFORE GOD this includes the children,ESPECIALLY if they are GROWN ENOUGH TO DO AND CARE FOR THEMSELVES.
---Christina_Lee on 10/21/13




I could find none except perhaps the one that says.
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

The responsibility of couples to each other is enduring. The responsibility of parents to children is temporary. (Even though emotional ties continue)

This is NOT to say that pressing needs of a young child should not be met promptly, by either parent or both. Children's needs cannot be as easily deferred as adult needs.
And children in their formative years require much energy and attention from their parents.
But when the child becomes an adult, the primary focus must again be on the marriage, not the child or children.
---Donna on 5/15/10


There are scriptures that say God, Christ,Father, Mother I guess Children apart from neglect come in as and when they are not trying to push their luck. honour is due to the man of God. Who has to do his part which is to put his wife children before himself and love his wife the same as Christ loves the church and nurtures it. If he don't then honour is still due but not if it means self and child gets neglected.
---Carla on 5/12/10


Gen 1:28
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Gen 48:16
The Angel which redeemed me from all evil, bless the lads, and let my name be named on them, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac, and let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth.

Don't understand why there is only One Christ, yet a God with an in numerous amount of Angels. Your understanding is shallow and without wisdom.
---Carla on 5/12/10


Gal 6:1
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

Gal 6:2
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
Gal 6:3
For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.
Gal 6:4
But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
Gal 6:5
For every man shall bear his own burden.
---Carla on 5/12/10


Hi, Eve. I am sorry for your trouble. I cannot pretend that I know what to do in cases of abuse...to leave or to go. If it were not for your children, I would say either. However, in this situation what sin is greater here. You just have to realize that if you do leave there will be a different set of consequences. However, we have a Lord that can guide you through that. Just, if you leave, do not repeat the insanity 3 times.
---aka_joseph on 5/11/10


Carla: "For a start you are talking about someone who never gave you no authority to discuss her business especially as this is not a Christian matter criticising and gossiping about her behind her back!!!!!!."

Jesus didn't have six children and neither did Dr. Spock. And even God only had one son. ,=)
---Steveng on 5/11/10


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Rhonda I beg your pardon!

If she has 6 kids then unless you have six of your own you should keep your opinions to yourself.

For a start you are talking about someone who never gave you no authority to discuss her business especially as this is not a Christian matter criticising and gossiping about her behind her back!!!!!!.


I have six children of which 2 are adult however It was the Grace of God that kept my soul after the last baby. You have no idea what it's like even though my husband helped me it was only after was made redundant, that he Admitted he had it far too easy. And now he does all the work while I can rest. So until you've been there Love... and pray You Never will

Leave the ignorance one side!
---Carla on 5/11/10


This is my second marriage I have 3 kids from my 1st marriage. Having a hard time with this put the husband first because my husband has said some very hurtful things to my children and myself since we've been married and has no relationship with my children. Since he does not speak to them they have no repsect for him. I am trying desperately to follow the Word, be obedient and submissive. He tells me that when he says something he should not say such as you and your d.... kids get out my house, that I should forgive him and pray for him, because he lost his job about a year ago so I should be more understanding. Please help, I am ready to do to walk out the door.
---Eve on 5/11/10


Stephanie,
Why don't you just go back to who you were before "ANYMORE" got between the two of you? You know that he liked at least that much.
---Nana on 5/29/09


Can someone tell me some ideas to show my husband that i do care and love him? What do guys like? Flowers? Chocolate? I need to know. I work all the time and so does he, and he feels like i never put him first anymore....I just don't know how to show him.
---Stephanie on 5/27/09


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any man that would put himself before his children ,dont deserve them.
---tom2 on 1/30/09


what if your husbands decision to stay in his residing country because of his business and not be willing to live in his wife's country of origin, regardless of the fact that his wife's 19 year old daughter (from a previous marriage) is having a baby. The daughter needs her mother (his wife) desperately as she is really struggling emotionally? Is this unloving of the husband or should the wife be subject to misery because of the business? The wife is a teacher and can contribute financially.
---Elle on 1/29/09


a demanding husband is no father? ...so many are wrapped up in MAKING children come first ...wonder why society is so upside down now

I know a stay at home MOM with 3 children under 6 ...having car to shop for errands during day while her husband works 12-16 hours a day commuting 1 hour roundtrip ...she is BEYOND the laziest women I have ever known ....her "EXCUSE" for everything in life now "having to take care of kids" (2 of whom play withkids in neighborhood most of day) ...mind you she doesn't do laundry has a housekeeper and rarely cooks dinner ...she's so absurdly self centered she wonders why her husband is angry all the time especially when she shops for groceries AFTER he gets home from a LONG day at work!!
---Rhonda on 8/20/08


You don't really need any Scripture because you made your life blood-covenant with your husband for until death do you part.What God has put together let not man take apart.
You don't have a covenant with your children. If you actually had to choose I'd let someone else raise the kids and stay with your covenant husband.
---john on 8/20/08


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I don't think that some of the bloggers on this site really understand the meaning of what is being asked. To ask a mother to stop feeding a baby so the man can get dinner is absurd...get real! Problems start with things like the parent putting all of their EFFORT into the child, denying attention to a spouse or taking sides with a child instead of standing behind decisions made by the other parent. These types of things cause marriages to fall and must be guarded against. The child MUST know that the parents are united and can't be divided.
---Rod on 8/19/08


Any father who thinks that he comes before a tiny baby where his wife's time is concerned needs tobe reminded that the childwas given to both of them by God. If a mother is feedng a baby father shouldn't needto be asked to get dinner for himself and wife, he should just know that it is necessary for him to do so. If no preparation has taken place while he wasin work that is probably because wife was busy with baby. Baby should always come first until old enough to do thingsfor itself.
---Sara_Hassocks on 4/25/08


This husband is selfish, conceited and self-centered. Caring more about himself than the problem at hand.

It is written that whoever is the leader is the servant. Didn't Christ wash the feet of the apostles? If the husband had any Christian in him, he would do anything to keep harmony in the home. A true Christian husband would love his wife so much that he wouldn't have any cause for her to hate him.

Read: 1Peter3:7, Col3:19
---Steveng on 4/22/08


Alanofuk-Amen!
---Duane_Dudley_Martin on 4/22/08


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I would say that if a husband demanded to be fed before his crying hungry baby, he does not deserve the title of "father"
---alan_of_UK on 4/22/08


Love for kids is natural. That is not true. Some mothers have left their kids in dumpsters and flush them down commodes. What is natural about that? Birthing a baby does not make one a mother,either.
---Robyn on 4/22/08


I still say you need help and marital wisdom. I have brthed two children and raised 5--total. You can always keep a bottles with breast milk available for emergencies. Hand the baby to the husband and let him feed the baby. You go to the kitchen and make dinner.Or you feed the baby and let him make dinner. Being submissive does not mean letting your husband take advantage of you. Submission goes both ways!
---Robyn on 4/21/08


Robyn, unfortunately for my babies my husband was unable to breast-feed. Your suggestion of 'telling' him to put the dinner together doesn't sound much like submissive wife stuff to me. You are correct in one thing. There is more than one way to skin a cat. I obviously skin mine rather differently from the way you skin yours but as long as our babies got fed when they needed it that's fine.
---RitaH on 4/21/08


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RitaH: You are in need of a lot of help and marital wisdom. If your child is sick and/or in pain and your husband is screaming for dinner. Give the baby to him!! Ok! Then you turn and go into the kitchen and proceed to get his dinner together. Or tell him to put dinner together and you take care of the baby.There are many ways to skin a cat. Be creative!Personally I would give the baby to him and go straight to the kitchen. Let him do something and be responsible.The baby is his,too.
---Robyn on 4/20/08


This would depend on the age of the children. If I had a baby screaming for a feed or in pain and a husband screaming for his meal I would switch off the submissive wife and switch on the concerned mother. He can look after himself, baby and small children cannot. Any man who cannot see that is a poor/bad father and husband. Any woman who neglected a child would lose the sympathy of any judge in court if she said "but I had to be submissive and put my husband before the child."
---RitaH on 4/14/08


You do not need a scripture to know this. You do not have to choose over the kids and husband. Take care of the husband needs first and then the kids. In that order. Your kids cannot do for you what your husband can.If he is a thoughtful and dutiful husband. What God has put together let no man put asunder or tear apart(Matt ch 19). That includes your kids!You need to teach your kids this also. Daddy is the head and is due respect and honor. You are immature,also.
---Robyn on 4/12/08


I have this same question, any help?
---Larissa on 5/10/07


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BeckH has it right. A marriage has to be actively worked on. Love is a verb. Whereas love for your kids is natural, it is not so for your spouse.

Without a healthy marriage, you will not have healthy children. The marriage drives the family.
---Eg on 6/4/05


Those who said the relationship and the type of love is two different between husband/wife and mother/kids is correct.
Now when I had five little kids under age 7 running around and hubby was a full time college student and we were in ministry together sometimes I had no idea if there was time to love and nurture anybody. But a husband has to understand that. The husband coming before anyone as far as scripture is you leave your father and mother and cleaveto hubby.
---rachel on 6/4/05


I think that the idea of putting your husband first is wise. Love for one's children comes naturally whereas love for your husband is worked on , and so the marriage takes more nurturing. Also if you are divided on issues because you are thinking of the children then children will use that against you. obviously thjis doesnt mean ignore your baby's crys!! context!!
---BeckyH on 6/3/05


Many husbands think that they have children to make a family and they will work and work to keep housing and clothing and food around. Most husbands truely hope that wives/mothers can stay home/or look after the children they have fathered.
One dad said, "I want the children for her pleasure."
There are comic situations about couples just about to have a few minutes alone and a child cries. While it seems to humourously exasperate both, neither parent will leave the child unattended.
---barbara67 on 6/3/05


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none should come 'first' as such. children need your attentioon, especially if they are small. your husband also needs you. the love you have for them both is different and you shouldnt feel like you are depriving one over the other. ask God to teach you how to give both the children and husband the attention they need, and be obedient to Him; He'll give you a workable solution and your relationship with children and husband will flourish.
---caroa5966 on 6/3/05


Love and care for husband and that for the kids are two different topics. Both need to be cared for and attended to.
---Albert on 6/3/05


Wives are married to their husbands, not the children. Women sometimes wrongly idolize the children, and dis the father. "Who answering, said to them, Have you all not read, for he that made humans at the beginning, made them male and female? and he said, for this cause a man will leave father and mother, and he will cleave to his wife: and they will be two in one flesh. And so they not two now, but one flesh: therefore a human separate not, that what God has joined." Matthew 19:4-6.
---Eloy on 6/3/05


The last time I heard this used is when my parents got divorced and my father remarried. He would use the above statement to justify an unequal balance between my step-mother and myself.
---Tom145 on 6/2/05


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How old are the children?
---Bruce5656 on 6/2/05


What exactly do you mean, "come before children"? You mean love him more, pay more attention to him, or what?? Why would a woman put her husband before her children??
---sue on 6/2/05


Husband is an adult who can take care of himself,those children can't.You don't put any adult before a helpless child.Their needs should be met first,then the adults.Matters of family structure and behavior should be set by both parents.They both must nurture the children.It would be a very selfcentered man who demanded you put him before the children's welfare.A husband will want his children cared for first,if he's a good father.
---Darlene_1 on 6/2/05


Part 2: "What if the husband's decision is ungodly?" If both parents are obeying Ephesians 5, I assume they want to obey God in all things, so that shouldn't happen. So even if the wife is fearful that the decision is wrong, the husband's decision still trumps hers, and she should openly support it in front of the children. If your husband's decision is outrageously ungodly, then I'd say he isn't loving his wife as Christ loved the church, either, and you have a much bigger problem. ;-)
---Nicholas on 6/2/05


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It is implicit in Ephesians 5. "Wives submit to your husbands as unto the Lord." It never says to submit to your children as unto anyone! It also says "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her." If you put the two together, you get a parenting team. If parents differ about how to handle a situation with the kids, resolve it privately. In a stalemate, the husband's decision takes precedence, and the wife should openly support that decision.
---Nicholas on 6/2/05


I don't believe any husband should come between you and your children, likewise, neither should your children come between you and your husband. I hope you are in partnership with your husband regarding your children.
---Ann on 6/2/05


Read Ephesians 5:22-28.I hope that helps
I have always heard that God first
Husband sec-and children last I beleave Children learn respect like that
God Bless
---glady5446 on 6/2/05


When two people enter into marriage, both are cast into roles that are defined in the Bible but it doesn't state anywhere that a husband or a wife come before children. I think it is best said that marriage comes above all else and within the scope of the marriage, comes the children. Titus 2:4-5 clearly states "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, etc." One person doesn't supercede the other.
---Eg on 6/2/05


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