Any father who thinks that he comes before a tiny baby where his wife's time is concerned needs tobe reminded that the childwas given to both of them by God. If a mother is feedng a baby father shouldn't needto be asked to get dinner for himself and wife, he should just know that it is necessary for him to do so. If no preparation has taken place while he wasin work that is probably because wife was busy with baby. Baby should always come first until old enough to do thingsfor itself. |
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---Sara_Hassocks on 4/25/08 |
This husband is selfish, conceited and self-centered. Caring more about himself than the problem at hand.
It is written that whoever is the leader is the servant. Didn't Christ wash the feet of the apostles? If the husband had any Christian in him, he would do anything to keep harmony in the home. A true Christian husband would love his wife so much that he wouldn't have any cause for her to hate him.
Read: 1Peter3:7, Col3:19 |
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---Steveng on 4/22/08 |
I would say that if a husband demanded to be fed before his crying hungry baby, he does not deserve the title of "father" |
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---alan_of_UK on 4/22/08 |
Love for kids is natural. That is not true. Some mothers have left their kids in dumpsters and flush them down commodes. What is natural about that? Birthing a baby does not make one a mother,either. |
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---Robyn on 4/22/08 |
I still say you need help and marital wisdom. I have brthed two children and raised 5--total. You can always keep a bottles with breast milk available for emergencies. Hand the baby to the husband and let him feed the baby. You go to the kitchen and make dinner.Or you feed the baby and let him make dinner. Being submissive does not mean letting your husband take advantage of you. Submission goes both ways! |
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---Robyn on 4/21/08 |
Robyn, unfortunately for my babies my husband was unable to breast-feed. Your suggestion of 'telling' him to put the dinner together doesn't sound much like submissive wife stuff to me. You are correct in one thing. There is more than one way to skin a cat. I obviously skin mine rather differently from the way you skin yours but as long as our babies got fed when they needed it that's fine. |
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---RitaH on 4/21/08 |
RitaH: You are in need of a lot of help and marital wisdom. If your child is sick and/or in pain and your husband is screaming for dinner. Give the baby to him!! Ok! Then you turn and go into the kitchen and proceed to get his dinner together. Or tell him to put dinner together and you take care of the baby.There are many ways to skin a cat. Be creative!Personally I would give the baby to him and go straight to the kitchen. Let him do something and be responsible.The baby is his,too. |
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---Robyn on 4/20/08 |
This would depend on the age of the children. If I had a baby screaming for a feed or in pain and a husband screaming for his meal I would switch off the submissive wife and switch on the concerned mother. He can look after himself, baby and small children cannot. Any man who cannot see that is a poor/bad father and husband. Any woman who neglected a child would lose the sympathy of any judge in court if she said "but I had to be submissive and put my husband before the child." |
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---RitaH on 4/14/08 |
You do not need a scripture to know this. You do not have to choose over the kids and husband. Take care of the husband needs first and then the kids. In that order. Your kids cannot do for you what your husband can.If he is a thoughtful and dutiful husband. What God has put together let no man put asunder or tear apart(Matt ch 19). That includes your kids!You need to teach your kids this also. Daddy is the head and is due respect and honor. You are immature,also. |
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---Robyn on 4/12/08 |
I have this same question, any help? |
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---Larissa on 5/10/07 |
BeckH has it right. A marriage has to be actively worked on. Love is a verb. Whereas love for your kids is natural, it is not so for your spouse.
Without a healthy marriage, you will not have healthy children. The marriage drives the family. |
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---Eg on 6/4/05 |
Those who said the relationship and the type of love is two different between husband/wife and mother/kids is correct.
Now when I had five little kids under age 7 running around and hubby was a full time college student and we were in ministry together sometimes I had no idea if there was time to love and nurture anybody. But a husband has to understand that. The husband coming before anyone as far as scripture is you leave your father and mother and cleaveto hubby. |
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---rachel on 6/4/05 |
I think that the idea of putting your husband first is wise. Love for one's children comes naturally whereas love for your husband is worked on , and so the marriage takes more nurturing. Also if you are divided on issues because you are thinking of the children then children will use that against you. obviously thjis doesnt mean ignore your baby's crys!! context!! |
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---BeckyH on 6/3/05 |
Many husbands think that they have children to make a family and they will work and work to keep housing and clothing and food around. Most husbands truely hope that wives/mothers can stay home/or look after the children they have fathered.
One dad said, "I want the children for her pleasure."
There are comic situations about couples just about to have a few minutes alone and a child cries. While it seems to humourously exasperate both, neither parent will leave the child unattended. |
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---barbara67 on 6/3/05 |
none should come 'first' as such. children need your attentioon, especially if they are small. your husband also needs you. the love you have for them both is different and you shouldnt feel like you are depriving one over the other. ask God to teach you how to give both the children and husband the attention they need, and be obedient to Him; He'll give you a workable solution and your relationship with children and husband will flourish. |
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---caroa5966 on 6/3/05 |
Love and care for husband and that for the kids are two different topics. Both need to be cared for and attended to. |
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---Albert on 6/3/05 |
Wives are married to their husbands, not the children. Women sometimes wrongly idolize the children, and dis the father. "Who answering, said to them, Have you all not read, for he that made humans at the beginning, made them male and female? and he said, for this cause a man will leave father and mother, and he will cleave to his wife: and they will be two in one flesh. And so they not two now, but one flesh: therefore a human separate not, that what God has joined." Matthew 19:4-6. |
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---Eloy on 6/3/05 |
The last time I heard this used is when my parents got divorced and my father remarried. He would use the above statement to justify an unequal balance between my step-mother and myself. |
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---Tom145 on 6/2/05 |
How old are the children? |
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---Bruce5656 on 6/2/05 |
What exactly do you mean, "come before children"? You mean love him more, pay more attention to him, or what?? Why would a woman put her husband before her children?? |
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---sue on 6/2/05 |
Husband is an adult who can take care of himself,those children can't.You don't put any adult before a helpless child.Their needs should be met first,then the adults.Matters of family structure and behavior should be set by both parents.They both must nurture the children.It would be a very selfcentered man who demanded you put him before the children's welfare.A husband will want his children cared for first,if he's a good father. |
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---Darlene_1 on 6/2/05 |
Part 2: "What if the husband's decision is ungodly?" If both parents are obeying Ephesians 5, I assume they want to obey God in all things, so that shouldn't happen. So even if the wife is fearful that the decision is wrong, the husband's decision still trumps hers, and she should openly support it in front of the children. If your husband's decision is outrageously ungodly, then I'd say he isn't loving his wife as Christ loved the church, either, and you have a much bigger problem. ;-) |
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---Nicholas on 6/2/05 |
It is implicit in Ephesians 5. "Wives submit to your husbands as unto the Lord." It never says to submit to your children as unto anyone! It also says "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her." If you put the two together, you get a parenting team. If parents differ about how to handle a situation with the kids, resolve it privately. In a stalemate, the husband's decision takes precedence, and the wife should openly support that decision. |
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---Nicholas on 6/2/05 |
I don't believe any husband should come between you and your children, likewise, neither should your children come between you and your husband. I hope you are in partnership with your husband regarding your children. |
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---Ann on 6/2/05 |
Read Ephesians 5:22-28.I hope that helps
I have always heard that God first
Husband sec-and children last I beleave Children learn respect like that
God Bless |
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---glady5446 on 6/2/05 |
When two people enter into marriage, both are cast into roles that are defined in the Bible but it doesn't state anywhere that a husband or a wife come before children. I think it is best said that marriage comes above all else and within the scope of the marriage, comes the children. Titus 2:4-5 clearly states "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, etc." One person doesn't supercede the other. |
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---Eg on 6/2/05 |
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