ChristiaNet MallWorld's Largest Christian MallChristian BlogsFree Bible QuizzesFree Ecards and Free Greeting CardsLoans, Debt, Business and Insurance Articles

Under A Controlling Ministry

How do you know if you are under a controlling ministry? I feel I am b/c I've gone through seperation on the way to divorce, I know it is not looked upon as right, but it was a very abusive relationship, I'm told I shouldn't be the one to file for divorce. Why?

Join Our Christian Friendship and Take The Dating & Marriage Quiz
 ---Serenity on 6/8/05
     Helpful Blog Vote (8)

Reply to this BlogPost a New Blog



Just go to God in prayer about your situation and what's on your heart (He already knows everything but will not lend guidance unless you ask Him for it) and do as He leads. If you follow the path He's leading you on it doesn't matter what anyone else has to say or think about it.
---Heather on 7/19/08


Very few people think that divorces is a good thing. At the same time, too many put up with a "marriage" that include all sort of psychos and control freaks or irresponsible acts. Your deal is with God and your repentance of past decisions. The others want God's job of judging. They are unqualified but that does not stop their stares and tongues. You made two decisions-one to marry and one to divorce. Women envy your independance and men wonder at your availability. God love you.
---chuck on 6/6/07


When Christ shed his blood on that cross, he did away with the law, so we are not bound by it. It is a major slap in Christ's face to be put back under the law which was given to Israel. It does not sound like your spouse is a christian, if so, he is spiritual dead anyway. so get yourself out. Be safe
---geraa7578 on 7/4/05


To help you discern a controlling church read "Walking Out of Spiritual Abuse" by Marc Dupont and "Exposing Spiritual Abuse" by Mike Fehlauer. I too divorced from an abusive relationship, escaped the trap and was judged by the "caring" people in the church I was in. I know God supported me and was with me, but His people were not. Find a good christian counsellor at this time.
---Maxine on 6/23/05


This is a Civil issue not Religious.

This is not 1st century Palestine where a woman could never divorce a husband for any reason and a husband could divorce a wife for any reason by presenting with a letter of divorcement in front of two witnesses with no civil process.

If you are being abused get yourself and any children out of that environment. Use the Legal system: file criminal charges, restraining orders, divorce proceedings. There are support system help you, use them!
---phia4633 on 6/22/05




This is a Civil issue not Religious.

This is not 1st century Palestine where a woman could never divorce a husband for any reason and a husband could divorce a wife for any reason by presenting with a letter of divorcement in front of two witnesses with no civil process.

If you are being abused get yourself and any children out of that environment. Use the Legal system: file criminal charges, restraining orders, divorce proceedings. There are support system help you, use them!
---phia4633 on 6/22/05


Know that God is the Giver of Good Gifts. He is the God of Love not of hate or abuse. You are able to file for divorce. Do not let lies interfere with your life. Abuse is deadly. Work on Pleasing God in you heart of hearts and not on pleasing whomever is "looking" at your relationship. The truth will set you free. You have to choose what is good and right for yourself. Choose Joy. Choose Jesus. Choose good gifts for yourself.
---Amy on 6/14/05


I don't think you're wrong, my mother stayed in an abusive marriage until my father died 5 years ago. His abuse affected myself, my sister and my mother physically and emotionally for many, many years and we still bear the scars now. Get out and don't feel bad about it either. God has witnessed what you've gone through and He'll be on your side. God bless you in the future.
---Geraldine on 6/13/05


When you need an answer to a situation. Seek God in prayer. Earnest, heartfelt prayer will get your answers. What do you feel in your heart? Because you sought for an answer here, tells me that you have already made up your mind to leave that situation. I pray that you will do what is best for you.
---Penny on 6/13/05


Ultimately YOU are responsible before God for what you do with your own life. Divorce is a serious step, and nothing should be done without counsel--but the final decision is yours. It might be prudent and to your advantage to let your husband file first--or it might be better for you to initiate these proceedings. Seek competent counsel, pray, act, and trust the issue to God.
---Jack on 6/10/05




You should get out the abusive relationship. There's only two ways it can end for you. You can end up dead cuz he killed you or you can end up in jail cuz you killed him. Choices are limited but before you do anything pray about it.
---Auror3743 on 6/9/05


Leave that church and find one that is more realistic in its perspective on divorce. At my old Baptist church, the pastor helped us as we moved my friend out of her abusive husband's home. He also helped another woman move when her adulterous husband wouldn't stop his adultery.
---Madison on 6/8/05


Many Christians and churches say that since God ordains that wife should be submissive to husband, she has only herself to blame for his infidelity or abuse, and often it is the innocent wife who has to leave the church, while the guilty husband is allowed to stay.

Don't listen to them. If he has abused you, HE has broken the marriage covenant, and you are ratifying that break by asking for divorce
---Alan_of_U.K. on 6/8/05


Until people walk a mile in your moccasins, they have no business judging you and telling you what you should and should not do. There is no excuse for abuse in a relationship, and God will not hold it against you for wanting out. You will probably have people telling you that you must stay with him no matter what, and pray for God to straighten out this mess. Uh-uh!! Get yourself out of there and get a life where you can feel happy and safe. God will bless you.
---Ann5758 on 6/8/05


Who told you? Are you the victim or the aggressor?

The victim should have the advantage.
---barbara67 on 6/8/05


Copyright© 1996-2015 ChristiaNet®. All Rights Reserved.