I Am Depressed Over Mom's Death
Mom died 8 months ago. Think I'm going through change. Do other christian women feel depressed? So many people on depression meds. Don't want to be.Am christian, have lots to be thankful, blessed. How do other christian women cope?Want to feel happy without pills. I pray alot to feel happy.
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---sincerely_thoughtful on 6/13/05
Helpful Blog Vote (10)
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Pray asking Jesus for happiness. Find things that bring you happiness to do, examples: walking, biking, visiting a friend or visiting a relative, gardening, baking, seeing a movie, etc. Open the window curtains during the day, to allow the physical daylight to come into your space. Listen to positive Christian music and television programs. Treat yourself to some favorite thing that you enjoy eating or to drink. |
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---Eloy on 9/18/09 |
Sincerly thougthful, sorry about your loss. I agree with Robyn comments,
Dear friend: I had to make another comment after reading the other posts here. I want to add: don't let anyone rush you into getting over your grief. Everyone is different"
Everyone has a comment coming from their hearts which is because they love you and care for you and want to help.
Let me say that God uses all brothers and sisters to help others, and with all that love, you will find that God has made a way out for you.
It took me five years to get back to what I call normal living. I never forget what happen to me. I know God has given me a longer life, and its up to me to live it for Him. |
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---MarkV. on 9/8/09 |
Dear friend: I had to make another comment after reading the other posts here. I want to add: don't let anyone rush you into getting over your grief. Everyone is different. No two people grieve the same.I found this out. The human body has a way of healing itself also. In due time you begin to feel better. You soon realize you are just plain tired of crying and telling people about the pain you are feeling. Only God really cares deeply about us. People mean well but they can do nothing to really make the pain go away. Pray and pray some more. God knows all about us and he knows how to heal you. I cried until I could not cry anymore. I still feel depressed some days but I am doing much better than a year ago. You will,too. God bless you angel. |
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---Robyn on 9/5/09 |
Dr Phil said something I really valued. A woman had lost a teenage daughter and had grieved for years. It made the entire family miserable because the mother could not cope with the death or move on with her life. She was stuck in grief. Dr Phil told her she was celebrating her daughters death when she should be celebrating her life. When you think of your mother, think of the great memories you have of her. Those are to be greatly cherished. You will have them with you always. Focus on her goodness and not on her death. She would not want you to be miserable. God doesn't want you to be miserable. Ask God to help you let go of your grief and remember your beloved mother as He would desire, in a healthy way. I hope that helps. |
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---Alena on 9/5/09 |
It has been more than 18 months since my mother died. It still hurts everytime I think about her. What helps is knowing that my Father in heaven loves me and is there when I need him. Find someone you trust to talk to, preferably someone who has been through it. My Dad and I spend time talking about Mom, it helps us both. I will be praying for you. |
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---Becky on 9/4/09 |
You ARE going through change. You're learning to be a motherless woman. It's hard, time-consuming, maturing and depressing.
You think of some good news (or bad) and head for the phone to call her....then you remember. You start to look for Mother's day cards....and then you remember. You begin to bake her favorite cake on her birthday..then you remember.You will never stop remembering her, things she said and did. You will sometimes wish for her advice...But it will gradually become less painful.
You are not unusual. You are not alone. You probably don't need pills, but if you do, don't worry it won't be forever.Look for another woman who has been through this. Befriend an older woman. And talk to God...He lost a son, you know. |
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---Donna66 on 9/4/09 |
Dear friend: May God's peace and comfort be yours at this very difficult time. I have been through the pain and hurt you are feeling right now. I lost a beautiful young son a little over a yr ago. Stay close to the Lord(prayer), read your bible(scriptures) for strength. Let some time go by because time is a healer in itself. You will begin to feel better as time goes by. You will begin to thank God again and be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Grieving for our loved ones will never go away but we can thank God for the time we had with them and always keep their memory alive in our hearts. |
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---Robyn on 9/4/09 |
You can not grow except through hard times. God wants you happy but on His terms....I lost my mom too, but we, unfortunately were never close. Jesus saved me about a year after she left us. How do we cope? Try not to worry about copeing! I do not wish to appear simplistic. I'll be honest there has been times when I either couldn't pray aright, or Satan's blows would be so awful until I couldn't think. God still was faithful. He would not budge....Now, about the pills. God is not a God of comfort. GOD wants you to learn to trust Him. So, if you really belong to Jesus, the pills are out. Ask God more strength, His power, and His stability. All these things will make you happy. Trust me! |
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---catherine on 9/4/09 |
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My Mom passed away 15 days ago I can't get a grip on life I cry at work at home and everywhere else I don't want to sound selfish but I want my Mama. My Dad hollared at me yesterday and said I had to grow up Im 38 years old and I know I need to grow up but my Mama saved me from my Dad all my life until he quit drinking which was after I got married and had kids. I need extra prayer Im having trouble realizing My Mom is gone. |
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---Amanda_Knight on 9/4/09 |
mourning - to mourn is normal.
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mother in 1988 from cancer. she was only 51.
it was horrible to watch.
I miss her still to this day and always.
I do wish she was hear with me now.
It took me about 10 years to not feel so sad anymore. I kept busy---I was lead back to the Lord - I have a good Christian fellowship- good people supporting me- our parish and priests help to have for comfort.
After the shock comes pain anger tears and numbness...Draw ever so close to the Lord right now and give him your sorrow and sadness.
He is your Rock! He us faithful.
Whenever one door closes another is opened...keep watchful in prayer- you will see. |
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---paul on 2/24/09 |
I lost my Mom in 1993. She was killed in a car accident coming back from church. Not being able to say goodbye to her hurt a lot. But she knew I loved her very much. The pastor said one of the last things he heard her say was "sweet Jesus I want to be with you." I don't think Mom, Dad, and loved ones are ever forgotten. Our Father God and Lord Jesus never leaves us nor forsakes us neither. They help to comfort us during those times and help to fill the void with their love. |
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---Bob on 2/23/09 |
There is nothing wrong with taking anti-depressants if a physician thinks they will help. You don't have to take them forever.They dull the pain a bit,but You will always miss your Mom (sounds like you two were very close). You'll never quit missing her, but with time, you get more used to her not being here.
Eight months is not a long time at all (I speak from experience)...your pain is normal
Carla's suggestion of writing letters to God is good (to burn or keep is your choice). And try writing to your mom... though SHE won't see it, it may help you heal. When you want to turn to your mother for comfort, turn to God instead. He understands your feelings completely. Read the Psalms. You'll find reassurance there. |
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---Donna66 on 2/23/09 |
Christians get depressed everyone will experience some sort of down feeling because we are human, Cry if you must scream if you feel like it.
Go somewhere if you have a car and just let it all out, I've been there and laughed after because it sounded so silly especially when you can't scream and it kinda sound wrong cause you want to really scream and scream loud, lol You let out the stress and anger and feel great afterwards.
A great way to feel better is to write a letter to God and tell him everything and burn it, and keep doing so the relationship is great because only he know's what you've written. A fantastic way of coping and really helps.
Love CarlaX |
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---Carla3939 on 2/22/09 |
I am still only an adolescent so I have not lost my mother or my father yet, so i can not think what you must be going through right now.
The only thing i can say, which probablly won't be much comfort, is that your mother is now in paradise, she is rid of pain and the suffering the world brings.
She may not be with you in a physical sense but she will always be with you in your heart and in your memories those can never be taken away from you.
Just keep your chin up, keep your faith and don't lose your trust in God. :)
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---Fran on 2/22/09 |
Death is a normal process, in the progression of life and is inevitable.Grief and feelings are your own,and experienced differently by people exposed to this inevitable passing.Feeling sorry, for oneself, is in actuality a self induced trauma, so depressed feelings are caused by oneself.Fill the Void with something useful prayer action,helping others,this removes depression, makes one a better person stronger and a pillar of strength, to those who do not comprehend death.Remember WE COME INTO THIS WORLD TO DIE.Rejoice for your dearly departed has gone to be with the Lord. |
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---MIC on 2/22/09 |
God wants you happy on His terms. I am not always happy, as other people. I always manage to pull myself out of slumps. It is always God who does it. For I have no strength of my own. Pills are never the answer. God wants you to learn to trust Him. More important to God than you being happy, right now. Have a good week. Note: I've been there. |
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---catherine on 2/22/09 |
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I lost my mom 5 months ago from cancer. I miss my mom so much. I went on anti-depressants. I fall apart at the least little negativity toward me because I no longer have my Mom to tell me I am normal, that it is O.K. to have feelings and to just share those feelings that you can't share with anyone else except God. I know what you are going through. Take care of yourself, pray, God is always waiting with a listening ear and it will get you through each day. Natalie Grant's song "Held" has helped me through some rough days. God is holding you through this rough time. If you need meds like I do, its OK. Don't beat yourself up. You loved your Mom so "Well Done my faithful servant" as Jesus would say. Well done. |
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---Sandy_Teutschman on 2/21/09 |
Get close to God. So close till you feel as if you can touch Him. And I promise you God will not let you lose it. Pills, you will not need. Copeing is not the issue. Life is filled with stuff that you will always have to deal with. God will help you if you truly belong to Him, AND if and it's a BIG IF, you get close to HIM. Have a great day. +++ |
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---catherine on 11/5/07 |
My mother died at the age of 51, from cancer in the year 1988.
After almost 20 years...
I still miss her, and wish I could see her.
It takes time, prayer, Christian fellowship and the grace of God, to overcome such painful adversities.
Think of Christ..contemplate His pain he suffered for our sake..for our salvation.
The more I do this, the more my pain seems so little.
Keep the faith. Trust in the Lord. |
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---Lisa on 11/5/07 |
Prayer helped me deal with the death of my firstborn son who was only 19 years old when he died. So many people were praying for me and I know it helped. I will pray for you. |
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---sue on 10/29/07 |
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I know what your going through and I didn't take any kind of meds. I just relied on the one and only person and that is Jesus Christ. |
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---ANN on 10/29/07 |
my mom passed 2005 from multiple cancers.
her last words were: i hate you and dont love you" she was on a lot of drugs tho. im only 24. it's all i can do to get through the days and she passed almost 3 years ago. |
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---sonia on 10/28/07 |
i lost my dad in 90 and 94 i lost my mom, and to this day when something funny happens i go to the phone to call mom then i realize i can't..losing a loved one is very hard on anyone, but know in your heart she is in a better place, free. mom was bed-ridden and to know she is healthy and happy and would not want to come back keeps me going. your loved one is in your heart, keep them there and just be ready to meet them when its time for you to go home...it will be a big family reunion..
mary4964 |
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---mary on 1/17/07 |
I lost my grandmother 1 year ago and 1 month ago, my grandfather 11 weeks ago. I used to think untill today that I was handling this, but now I know I am not and I am a Christian mom on depression meds. I pray all the time the Lord will take the hurt away but when? I also think I am happy but I am not sure they tell me it all gets better but when? |
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---scraplady on 1/17/07 |
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My mother pasted away in april.I am depressed and angry!She was a good christian woman.The only thing that i have found that helps a little,is reminding myself that she is with her mother and she is not sick or in pain.I do not cry for her, i cry for myself because i miss her.Your mom is with GOD and you will see her one day!!
bonna7354 |
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---BONNIE_GABRIEL on 9/25/05 |
As sad and upsetting as it is, death is part of living. cry by all means, but also praise and thank god for the lovely mother he gave you. remember things you did together and what a strong woman she was . she would like you to be one too. find solace that she has gone to her creator and we must all one day. she has run her race. go on making life fruitful-let the lord live in you and you live in him. bless you. |
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---jenny on 7/5/05 |
Queen Elizabeth of England (a devout Christian) once said, "Grief is the price of love."
Grieving over a lost parent is NOT the same thing as looking with longing upon a wicked city where one used to enjoy assorted glee.
It takes at LEAST a year to get over the death of a parent. If you are undergoing menopause, the physical changes will not make the process easier. God knows and understands. Don't guilt yoruself. |
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---Jack on 6/24/05 |
First admit - I miss both my parents.
Next - praise God for them.
Next cry.
Then straighten up your back & find something to do that you love.
God will make sure you have no time to think or look back. Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back.
Within 2 weeks of my mother's death a daughter was born to me. I praised God until I cried again. My mom had left some newly knitted things in yellow for a new baby. I cried again - a happy cry - it is part of healing. |
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---barbara67 on 6/16/05 |
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I lost my Mom 2 years ago. It was a very depressing time for me as well. I was going through my change of life, menopause at the same time and became very depressed. I took anti-depressants and they worked very well. As long as prescription drugs are used and not abused they serve the purpose they are meant for. The Christian community write off prescription meds. to quickly. Take the meds and you will cope better. Depression is a chemical inbalance that needs to be addressed with meds. |
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---caroa3686 on 6/16/05 |
I just want to add that taking supplements are better than antideppressants. Talk with a natural practioner, things like saint johns wort,DHl,gaba,5htp, have helped my depression from losing my father and also chronic illness in my life. Rely heavly on Jesus Christ and He will lead you to a depression free life. Praise God because there is power, wonder working power in the blood of the lamb |
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---Jonathan on 6/15/05 |
What you are feeling is natural. God did not promise us a life free from trials,illness,death etc If we pray for God to take these things away from us, he didnt promise he would, but he did promise he would be there and help us through.As a christian I have suffered severe depression. Meds have been a God send, and I know if I never took them I wouldnt be alive today.Dont let anyone tell you that Christians are not supposed to suffer from depression.If they havent experienced it, they have no idea. |
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---jenny8448 on 6/15/05 |
It is not only Christian Women who suffer from depression, although we do not suffer "the change"
God gave humans a brain ... and I am sure He wanted us to use them to halp others as doctors, psychiatrists, or chemists researching new medicines.
Medicines in conjunction with counselling and freinds are OK.
Once you feel better, do not just stop the medicine ... talk to our doctor about a controlled and gradual withdrawal from them. |
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---Alan_of_U.K. on 6/14/05 |
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This is to Jack: There is nothing to be ashamed of in either reactive or clinical depression. I'm glad you pointed this out! Also you are a good testimony to the effective use of antidepressants and that the love of the Lord cannot help but bring peace to our souls as well. Thanks. |
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---Elsie on 6/14/05 |
Dear Friend, I am sorry for your loss. I will pray for your spiritual healing. Lean on God and He will see you through. It might be beneficial to see a doctor. If you suffer from clinical depression, it is a medical conditon and may need treatment, either with medication, counseling, or both. Ask your minister and congregation to pray with you also. God bless you. |
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---Nan on 6/14/05 |
Dear Sincerely, It is part of the grieving process to feel sad and/or depressed. An antidepressant can help, but a doctor has to see you first. Being a Christian is a wonderful gift and will help you. Jesus died to take our sorrows upon Himself. Everyday praise and thank God for your Mom and your blessings even if you do not feel like it. Say them out loud. The joy of the Lord WILL return AND you will have learned much. May the peace and contentment of our Lord be with you! |
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---Elsie on 6/14/05 |
My friend,
As a Christian woman studying social work, I can tell you that depression is real and there is a need for meds at times. I myself have suffered from clinical depression after leaving an abusive relationship. I took St. John's Wort, which is a natural anti-depressant. I am not on it now, but it worked with God's blessing. Talk to God and your doctor about what you should do. |
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---Chante on 6/14/05 |
Reactive depression (such ias in bereavement) is one thing. Clinical depression is a DISEASE: a chemical imbalance, NOT a moral or spiritual defect.
I suffered from depression for decades, and couldn't mention it: "Real Christians don't get depressed!"
All the prayers did NOT make my depression go away; unspoken condemnation made it worse. When I was put on an antidepressant a few years ago, it changed my life.
When taking them, I thank God for the provision He made for me. |
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---Jack on 6/14/05 |
Dear soul, depression is a normal part of the grieving process. I'm a man, and the grieving process not different for us. It's NOTHING to be ashamed of, and it doesn't mean you're less of a Christian, or your faith is in vain.
Everyone is different--and the Lord is with you each moment of your grief and loves you still. Don't condemn yourself.
I promise you, you WILL get through it! |
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---Jack on 6/14/05 |
"Sincerely", it is a cruel certainty that sooner or later we all have to go. We cry for our parents and our children cry for us.
My Mom died 7 years ago. I loved her dearly but I knew she had to go and all I think about is that she died a peaceful death and went to reap her reward.
Time heals. |
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---Albert on 6/14/05 |
hello! i went through a lot of pain when my mom passed away too and even its already 5 years now still there are moments when i can't help but shed tears whenever i remember her, & the moment i begun to feel restless i ask the Lord for comfort & just keep on saying "thank you Lord" until the longing/emptiness/loneliness slowly eases. Just cling to God when you feel down coz He is our best comforter in times like these.God bless you! |
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---kharole on 6/13/05 |
Losing a mother is a terrible loss. It is normal to grieve...but don't let sadness control your life. Brighter days are ahead and God will help you. |
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---Goldie on 6/13/05 |
My mother died 10 months ago. Because she was saved & had suffered so long with dialysis & gangree, she was ready to go. I don't know how your mother died but it is so important to read, study and meditate on the word of God and most importantly speak it to yourself out loud. I'm going through the change myself and it is only the word that is sustaining me. Be blessed. |
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---robin5697 on 6/13/05 |
My mom passed away 4 yrs ago. It is hard still yet. I miss her badly. but I look on the bright side, I know she is no longer hurting, and safe from all harm, and I will see her again. It takes time and alot of God to help you through. You need to keep God in your life, if I didn't I think I would have went crazy. My mom was my best friend, I took care of her, letting her go was hard, but I had to. I will pray for peace in your heart as well as your mind. |
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---Rebecca_D on 6/13/05 |
Hi. When my Mom died, it took at least two years to not cry for two weeks before and after the day (she had a massive stroke on my birthday) and around Mother's Day and her birthday. Even today, 4 years later, it still hurts though not as much. Keep praying, the pain doesn't last forever but deminishes each year. It's normal to feel depressed but don't wallow in it. Stay in the Word, fine "happy" promises. God bless! |
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---Vanessa on 6/13/05 |
Dear Sincerely....What you are going thru is normal, its called grieving dont rush thru it take your time and Pray for God will see you thru and most people that take meds arent praying people to begin with i took some anit depressants after i lost my only child in 2002 but i didnt stay on them long. I am sorry for your loss of your best friend and Mother but hun just know you will get to see her again some day. |
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---Lea on 6/13/05 |
I believe it is a natural process to go thru depression when you lose someone.Meds only cover up these natural feelings.Continue praying and know that your Mom is now in a better place and she will always be near to you because she remains in your heart. |
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---Gert on 6/13/05 |
Christian women cope by praying, exercising, reading the Bible, going to psychotherapy, taking medication, talking to a trusted friend, doing service in the community, crying, hugging friends, the list is endless.
Don't discount therapy to help you cope. Your depression at this time is normal. A good self-help book is "Feeling Good," by Dr. David Burns. |
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---Another_woman on 6/13/05 |
Cont......
Healing came, I am now off my medication, and for all that I have gone through, I give thanks to God. As I look back on that time, I see that it was a big learning curve, as well as a time for soul searching. I pray that you will seek and find the healing that you need |
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---Margaret on 6/13/05 |
Depression is a medical condition that most of us can no more help suffering than we can stop getting appedicitis. Several years ago, I also suffered from depression, I struggled with the symptoms for several years in fact. My depression built this huge brick wall btween myself and God too. I finally sought help, went to a very caring counsellor, took anti-depressants for about three years, had lots of prayer, and prayed almost all the time. |
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---Margaret on 6/13/05 |
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