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Should I Ask Husband To Resign

My husband is the leader of our fellowship. He is very serious and strict. Guys aren't satisfied with him, but they dare not to tell him. So they tell me. I think he have virtues, but he is too strict to others (and me). I can endure because of love. I want to suggest him to resign. Is it wise?

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 ---Gloria on 6/16/05
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I don't think it is your place to decide who should be in leadership. When "guys" come to you you need to tell them they need to go the pastor or other leadership of the church.
---denna7667 on 9/14/07


Dear Gloria
Be strong in the Lord and support your husband by standing by him. It is advisable you let him know the peoples' opinion and plead with him to keep calm. It was not easy with the Prophets of old, talk less of those of now. Let him know that in serving the Lord, he should be prepared to face challenges as this.

The Lord is your strength.

Yours in Christ Jesus

Patie
---patie6489 on 9/14/07


All the time you are in the group and listen to these women criticising your husband, without defending him, they will think that you agree with them.

They are wrong to try to involve you, and I wonder what love they have for you and your husband. They sound quite poisonous to me
---Alan_of_U.K. on 6/23/05


Wow, so much amazingly wise advise. Read it all carefully and prayerfully. You are in a very difficult situation. You need alot of prayer time and prayer support to deal with all of this. These folks are here for you.
God is your Strength and Protector. He will do all this for you and Through you.
---kathy3339 on 6/20/05


But there is a time and place for everything. Ask God to show you if, and how, to approach your husband. But do NOT approach him bringing other people's complaints. They need to develop enough backbone to talk to him themselves. Only approach him about your own feelings or things you have personally seen and which were disturbing to you.
---flor on 6/17/05




Suggest that if people don't like the way your husband is leading, they should tell HIM and not just you.Nowhere is it written that you have to serve as their sounding board or personal messenger.If you think he is leading in a way that is damaging to the group, ask the Lord for the words and the opportunity. The scriptures tell us to speak the truth and love. You aren't loving somebody if you stand by and watch them make a mess without trying to help.
---flor on 6/17/05


There is no telling what God is doing in your husband's heart at this time and all the murmuring and complaining could discourage him. Since Christ is an encourager (no corrupt communication...impart grace to the hearers), anything that does not BUILD the house of God is not of Him. Pray Eph.1:17-23 and ask that the Spirit of Christ prevail over the thoughts, attitudes, and motives of the carnal mind.
---Linda_Smith on 6/17/05


When Joshua met up with the angel of the Lord, he asked Him whose side He was on. He simply replied, "I am the captain of the Lord of hosts." He wasn't there to take sides. He was there to take over. Christ's Spirit must prevail if we are to be that great army in the earth.
---Linda_Smith on 6/17/05


If they refuse to be turned to who Jesus is and what He did in redemption, then I don't think it would be out of order to refuse to listen to the gossip, which is what it becomes once the complaint has been made and true vision is restored. It is in speaking the truth (the truth is a man named Jesus and what He did) IN LOVE that we GROW UP into the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ and stop all this petty comparing and competing.
---Linda_Smith on 6/17/05


Paul writes, "I am determined to know nothing among you save Jesus Christ and Him crucified". Being inspired of the Spirit of God to write those words, that is God's thoughts regarding WHO is to be pointed to and expressed when we come together in intimate fellowship. I encourage you to gently remind them that true intimate fellowship is the fellowship of the spirit where each one of us is joined to the Lord and one spirit with Him. We now minister out of a mercy seat, not a judgment seat.
---Linda_Smith on 6/17/05




He is the peace we walk in now. We usually don't come to fellowship and beat each other up with our hands or feet. However, our tongues can cut in such a way that leaves a member wounded and bleeding, severing the hearing ear of a servant. It is no coincidence that the last miracle Jesus did before He went to the cross was restore an ear. Hearing God accurately according to the Spirit of Christ is important. When we harm one member of the body, we harm ourselves since we are all members of ONE body.
---Linda_Smith on 6/17/05


God has shed abroad His love in their hearts and love does not behave unseemly or do ill will to a neighbor. Love also does not keep a record of wrong. One who is in Christ can have all kinds of "waves" roaring around them but not allow the waves to fill their ship and cause it to sink. The infirmity of Simeon (hearing) and Levi (union) was that instruments of cruelty were in their members. Thank God that Himself bore our infirmities and we don't have to walk in that anymore.
---Linda_Smith on 6/17/05


Gloria,

First of all, if you are being convicted to quit the group, quit the "group".
Paul warns us in the epistles of comparing ourselves with ourselves or with others. It is simply not wisdom to do so. Although I believe your heart was pure in seeking a more intimate relationship with the woman, they are deceiving their hearts by speaking out of carnality (what Paul dealt with when he spoke to the Corinthian Church and gave them warning of comparing).
---Linda_Smith on 6/17/05


In fact, I am trying to be a helpmeet. So I gathered those who are not satisfied with the fellowship, and want to build an intimate relationship with them (all female). Every time we meet we will share our hearts. Some of them will complain my husbands fellowship and compare it with another fellowship where they have been. Its hard for me when they sing high praises for another man and insinuate to debase my husband. I really want to get out of it. So should I quit the group?
---Gloria on 6/16/05


Maybe he is being too strict with these guys, & does not understand clearly where they are in their Christian journey. Maybe they need guidance & discussion rather than rules imposed.

But I agree with Darlene, if you interfere you will be the one caught in the cross-fire and you will be hurt.

If the guys don't like his style. let them tell him. Perhaps he can let them lead for a couple of weeks to see how hard it is!
---Alan_of_U.K. on 6/16/05


If people have a problem with your husband's leadership, they should talk to him and not complain to you. They are crossing a boundary by telling you. You should tell people that if they have a problem with your husband they should speak to him directly.
---Madison on 6/16/05


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The best way to deal with this problem, is to remain faithful to the needs of your husband and encourage others to speak their mind to your husband. As a wife your first ministry is to your family, and to your husband's needs. Pray without ceasing. Seek God's will in your life, and pray that the Lord open a door for communication to flow from one man to the other. Be not concerned about being the go between. You are supposed to be on his side. Pray for the Lord to make the way, and HE will.
---Carol on 6/16/05


If he is preaching God's word, then don't worry what people think. As long as you are in God's will and rightly dividing scripture, do not fear man.
---wes913 on 6/16/05


How strict is strict?

Reminding young people that of God's rules and standards based on a previously acknowledged Christian profession of faith, is not necessarily to strict. It comes with the job of leader. And many times young people complain but are secretly thankful that someone has standards.

On the other hand,too strict could mean abuse.........Abuse is illegal and not a necessarily true nor a fair representation of Christianity.
---Barbara67 on 6/16/05


Have you prayed? What answer did you get? My first thought is share with him, lovingly, what others have shared with you. Perhaps instead of resigning he needs to pray about his approach. Alot depends on what he is strict about... if he refuses to back down about God's word, that is one thing, but if he is refusing to take others' suggestions on what time to start a meeting or what to have for snacks, that's quite another. I pray he is not abusing you in any way...that is not God's way for any of us.
---Tanya on 6/16/05


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The Bible says(paraphraised) anyone who meddles in other peoples conflict is like taking a dog by the ears.In other words you'll be the one hurt.Let the men tell him if they don't want him there, and you stay out of it.When they come to you don't allow them to talk about your husband to you,tell them to stop being cowards, and take it to him if they don't like it.At home it's better to tell him you won't accept it,than let him bully you. He should love you and treat you as Christ does the Church.
---Darlene_1 on 6/16/05


By the way he does not need to resign. God will tell him when he needs to do that.

There are always people who will reject his message and manner of delivering it. Let them leave.
---Elder on 6/16/05


Say something to the people who are complaining about your husband.

Either you support him or not. If he is being foolish it is one thing. If he is standing on the virtues of the Word that is different.

People who are afraid to get near the "Heat" try to trick the wives into doing it.

My wife ALWAYS critiques my messages and gives welcome comments. She helps me but never with demands.

Do the same for your husband. You are the Helpmeet so help.
---Elder on 6/16/05


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