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Mother-In-Law Will Not Stop

My MIL keeps attacking me and hurting me with judgements and unkind words. It has hurt my husband too. He is willing to cut her off until it stops and she sees the damage it is doing. What is your advice? She won't listen to our requests for it to stop.

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 ---Marcia on 6/17/05
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As a mother of a daughter who is married, it is vitally important to get along with your child's spouse. Your husband is right in leaving the mother alone to her own opinions. He married you and he must protect you from her and all others. Your husband is the spiritual head of the home and He is called by the Lord to protect you and your children if you have any, including leaving his mom out of the picture.
---Carol on 5/27/07


WIVV I fit both those categories, I took away here only child and I wasn't remotely what SHE wanted for her son. We solved that problem by living hundreds of miles away from her. My life would not have been worth living if I'd been close by. Even visiting was an uncomfortable experience but the lesser of two evils. I would have dearly loved to have got on well with her but I never stood a chance. Marcia, I can only suggest you move away, sorry.
---Xanthi on 9/16/05


At least you have a husband who is with you! Here are some things you might try:
1. Ask: Why is she attacking you? (Is it because you have taken "her little boy away"? Or maybe she had a "picture" of the woman he would marry and you aren't part of that picture.)

2. Incorportate her into your activties when possible.

3. Praise her for raising such a good son.

4. Don't ask her to stop - that's just "adding fuel to the fire".
---WIVV on 9/15/05


Sounds like your husband is upholding you as his wife, so be thankful for that. Follow his lead.
---Heidi on 7/11/05


Marcia, there is a blog a few days back from Brenda on just this sort of problem. Read the advice given there. God bless you and your husband in your marriage, and I pray that He may soften your MIL's heart toward you both.
---Margaret on 6/20/05




My advice is to move away.
---Jerry on 6/18/05


Your husband is right and you must follow his lead. We are to shake the sand off our sandels when we find a community that does not accept our Lord or His word and will. Your mother in law needs your prayers and patience. You and your husband need each other to become as one as the Bible instructs, you don't need her.
---Gregg on 6/18/05


My 1st. marriage was destroyed because I did not have Christ, but I had such a mother in law. I have been married to my dear second wife for 35 years and to Christ for 32 years. Your marriage bed is only designed for one man and one woman. Pray for the mother in law, give her over to our Lord and then step back and enjoy your life with each other and with out her. Job Chapter 33 explains He can speak to anyone in a number of ways, including your mother out law. Give her to Him and live onto Him.
---Gregg on 6/18/05


Your husban must cleave unto you but not in a spirit of Okay Mom shape up or else. It must be spirit of reconciliation. Is this her only son? Did you marry without her agreement? Is your heart pure towards her? Mothers and D-I-L's are a delicate balance. There needs to be agreement and a close tie before the marriage Make sure you have things clear from your end before you write off Mom.
---rachel on 6/18/05


I would go to her and ask her why she hurts you the way she does and tell her if she continues, you will not be seeing anymore of her. Tell her you will do anything to get along but will not endure her insults and hurt. Tell her your husband won't endure them either.
---shira_5965 on 6/18/05




A husband must be loyal to his wife. It is always sad when in-laws disagree a lot (I've been there and eventually had contact only when absolutely necessary). If she isn't listening to your husband asking her to change her attitude then keeping away from her and not offering invitations to her might be the only way for now. Pray for her though.
---F.F. on 6/18/05


Take a leave of absence from her for a while. If she is a trouble maker, don't expect to change her.
---Albert on 6/18/05


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