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Cheated On Wife And Want Help

I am a christian who cheated on his christian wife during an unhappy marriage. I remarried to the woman I cheated with. I love her very much, but our marriage has been very difficult. I just want to be delivered from all sin and serve the Lord. Would the Lord have me divorce again?

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 ---Scott on 6/20/05
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then you are not a true christian.dont get married if you cant control yourself
---chris on 3/2/09


Scott, 2 Corinthians 13:5, Examine yourselves whether ye be in the faith, prove your own selves. Know ye not your ownselves how that Jesus Christ is in you, except you be reprobates? I would say that the Lord would not want you getting one divorce after another. As this verse of scripture says, examine yourself in the light of God's word.
---Cynthia on 9/9/07


I believe the Lord would NOT have you divorce again. The thing you need to do is confess and repent of your adultery and divorce, and serve the Lord now. Talk to your pastor. Seek marital therapy for your marriage.
---Madison on 9/9/07


Johnny, this blog's for you.
---R.A. on 10/26/06


I say Amen to Tommy's reply. You don't say whether you divorced her or she divorced you. I think you may be feeling a little guilty for having cheated and marrying the woman you cheated with, since you said you are a Christian and your first wife is also.
---Norma7374 on 10/14/06




Do not divorce. First it is a sin and second you will regret it for the rest of your life. I divorced mine 25 years ago. I still think it was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. She is now married, happy and I sorry for all my mistakes. Ask God for forgiveness. Show her that you can be a good husband and always love your wife as Jesus loved his church.
---tommy on 10/14/06


3. The last verse is clear that G-d's grace in the torah is permisive to do this but don't commit betrayal i.e. divorce again lest you trample on G-ds grace. True repentance is not asking forgiveness yet making the same choice later. It is recognizing the sin and turning from it not to be repeated again. Based on that I would not divorce your present wife but endure through and show yourself faithfulness and repentant heart to Hashem. May G-d's compassion and forgiveness look upon you.
---Jeff on 8/30/06


2. What this means is that if you hate your wife it would be better to divorce or send her away (as the hebrew word used is Shalach which means send in the command form or GO!) than to continue hating her in your heart which is equal to murder. It is not for your sake that this allowance is made but for hers.
---Jeff on 8/30/06


Scott, As a Jew I would like to respond to your question, I notice you said it was an unhappy marriage. Granted it was wrong to cheat on your wife, I would like to offer up the actual translation to Malachi 2:16 "For he who hates (his wife) should divorce(her), says Hashem, G-d of Israel! He covers injustice with his garment, says Hashem, Master of Legions! Guard your spirit and do not commit betrayal. "
---Jeff on 8/30/06


Congratulations on your breakthrough now that you've broken two women with your selfish behavior. I have another late-breaking update for you: It's not all about you. You need to get over yourself. Your question "the Lord have me divorce again"- is that a JOKE? Do you KNOW the bible? Your motives to serve the Lord concern me. It sounds like you're trying to turn your bruised ego into an opportunity to make yourself out to be a hero. Oh yeah, did I mention it's not all about you?
---krystal on 8/30/06




Scott, just a thought, have you asked God for forgiveness for cheating on your first wife and have you forgiven "yourself" for that indiscretion? We cannot just pack our bags when things get tough and create more havoc for others and ourselves. Possibly your guilt is blocking this marriage from succeeding. Allow God to set you free from guilt. Seek counseling for yourself and and your current spouse. God will give you the strength.
---irhnow on 1/21/06


If you divorce your 2nd wife, you would have made two women very unhappy. Put the past behind you asking for God's forgiveness. Remember your second wife does not deserve a guilty man.Try and work hard at making your second marriage a success and support this with very fervent prayers. It WILL work
---berna6787 on 7/21/05


Talk to your current wife about how God is working on your conscience. Talk to her just like you have here to us. Ask her how she feels about you both remaining married. Then you should also contact your ex, and deeply apologize to her for your wrong. And ask her to please forgive you. She may or she may not. Matthew 5:23,24. If she does, it's a blessing. Then tell her how God is working on you, and ask her what direction she thinks you should take with your life (if she were in your place).
---Eloy on 7/14/05


Thank you all very much for your answers. They have been more help than you know. I realize that God will forgive me, but I guess my question is this: By staying married to this woman, am I continuing to sin? I just can't relax and go on with life. Is that just a punishment I will have to endure? It has been 2 1/2 years now, but I just can't seem to find peace.
---Scott on 7/13/05


If God can forgive Mary the prostitute, do you believe He can forgive you? Of course He can! Repent of your sins and love God with all your heart soul and mind. Be forgiving to others who hurt you because if you want your Father in Heaven to forgive you, you must do the same to your brothers and sisters.

Blessings and may you find everlasting peace.

Maha
---Maha on 7/11/05


Dear One: The Lord saves and He accepts our confessions of sin. Receive it, believe it; you need to forgive yourself. Yes, there may be pangs of guilt because there is consequence to all our sin BUT He forgives. God hates divorce; don't cover one sin with another one. Move on in His love. Get Christian marital counseling. Blessings!
---Elsie on 7/11/05


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I do not wish to reunite with my former wife. I feel that I actually entered into sin when I first married her. I did not love her like a husband should but pretended that I did. Obviously, I handled the situation in the worst possible way. Now I just want to get my life right with God, and sometimes wonder if I should distance myself from the woman I sinned with and live for the Lord as a single man.
---Scott on 7/11/05


Mary and Patty, I feel guilt every day, but that is a scar I will have for the rest of my life (and rightly so). I would like to write my ex to tell her again how sorry I am, but I fear that I would only be opening old wounds to ease my guilty conscience. But I would like to say this to the two of you: Know that what you went through was not because of a flaw in you, but because of a flaw in him. I'm so sorry for the pain you both have been through. No one should ever have to go through that.
---Scott on 7/11/05


Why are you thinking of divorce again? Do you want to reunite with your former wife? If so, how does your former wife feel about that? Know this, God hates divorce, and also know this, God is not mocked, for whatsoever a man sows that will he also reap. You can sow obedience to righteousness, or else you can sow sin to corruption.
---Eloy on 7/11/05


how can you sit there and not feel great guilt and shame. My husband cheated on me and now may be doing it agin. do you hav any idea of the pain you created for your ex-wife? Do you know how you hurt her. How can you sleep at night knowing what you did, and the woman you married; well same to her. just remember, what goes around comes around. And you both have to answer to God for what you did, I pity you.
---mary on 7/10/05


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well I read the questions and ome of the answers. And I have a question for you. How about the christian woman who was our wife or the man who was your husband and did not cheat...what about them when they feel that yes, god forgives, but why does she/he have to suffer while you and the one you cheat with get marriage? very unfair -- from one that got left.
---patty on 6/26/05


Notice also that it says, "alienated in YOUR MIND by wicked works." It doesn't say you are alienated in your spirit where we are in union with Christ and from where we draw our life.
---Linda_Smith on 6/21/05


Excellent answer Sam. We see the word "flesh" in the Word and automatically believe it is the same thing as the body but it isn't. This is born out in Colossians chapter 1:21,22 where it says, "And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath He reconciled in the BODY of HIS FLESH (strength) through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreprovable in His sight."
---Linda_Smith on 6/21/05


Scott, I have been in that same situation. I cheated on my husband during an unhappy marriage and am now married to the man I cheated on him with. It is a hard thing to overcome, but God is a forgiving God. Repent of your sins....Make this marriage in His image...Start fresh and anew and make sure it doesn't happen again...Put God first in your life and he will guide you in all you do!
---Misty6489 on 6/21/05


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Just remember "there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Rm 8:1 It's "now" that you HAVE BEEN delivered from all sin. Isn't that why Jesus hung on the tree? Walking in the flesh is not talking about sin either; it's talking about walking in your own strength. God has never been for divorce, and His viewpoint is opposes the fallen world. It's more work to believe God than the liar. Jn 6:29 My advise: keep on going; trust God; walk in love.
---sam7944 on 6/21/05


I believe in marriage and believe the Lord wants you to stay married. I lost my husband to another woman 15 years ago and they are now married. I wouldn't want to see him (or her) go through what I experienced. Love does cover a multitude of sins, and obeying the Lord in this will be the ultimate answer to your question.
---Fronie on 6/20/05


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