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My Husband Keeps Cursing

My hub has bad habit in cursing with foul language. He does not listen to advice from me and from our pastor. I am sick of his attitude and my patience runs out.

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 ---linda on 6/21/05
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I hv the same problem. But now to my horror ,I too have started using the same swear words - it started with - " Let me show him how he'd feel if someone used such words on him -" I really don't know what to do. Please help !
---Prem on 12/17/10


Every word that comes out of my husbands moth is real sick and i,m fet up, I think he should get soap put in his mouth and weashed for every time its said , that is how i feel,he makes me feel real not happy and not comfortable and dont want a marriage this way, he was never this way before.He has road rage to and gets on peoples you know with a vehicle and my heart beats up seting and i dont what to do about him any more.He has a bad temper than before to. I do alot for him and he is never happy.
---edith on 12/10/10


Let me know if you figure it out. My husband goes to church with me and at church he is all "praise God" when we get home, his foul mouth has destroyed me.
---annetta on 5/28/09


My husband also cusses alot. We have two small children, and when he gets upset, or frustrated he will cuss at us. He loves to use the f word alot. If I am playing with him and hurt him, he doesn't ask me to stop, he just cusses at me. It hurts, I feel like we are in different places, but I can't get him to see that. He thinks there is no problem at all. Sometimes I wonder if we would be better off apart. But I don't want to get a divorce. I just feel so lost sometimes.
---Victoria on 11/17/08


The only one who can change that cursing, with God's help, is your husband. But I wouldn't give up on him. Has he been cursing for a long time? If so, it would be hard for him to stop right then. It takes years to stop what you have been doing for years. It take patience. Go to God in prayer, He is the only one who can stop your husband from cursing. Also, do your husband want to stop cursing? It's not up to you its up to him and God. If he doesn't listen to you or your pastor, then he knows not to look to you or your pastor. He know to look to God if he want to stop cursing.
---antoa7855 on 7/8/08




Linda::Your Husband is a bully and resorts to this type of language to intimidate you.He is not a Gentleman and irrespective of what has taken Place HE CAUSED IT, by the lack of tact and understanding.Give him a dictionary and tell him to brush up on His language which needs Broadening as It is Limited.Sorry but this is how I see it.
---Emcee on 7/8/08


I have to agree with Margaret. Your advice may come as critisism to your husband. Also the fact that you have shared this with your pastor may make him feel like you are sharing personal things behind his back. These together may make him feel angry rather than apoligetic.
Continue to pray and put him at the feet of Jesus. Only he can change his heart.
---Marla on 7/8/08


Steveng: I get my truth from the bible. That is what I speak. I have no authority of my own. Neither do you, for that matter. God's Word is alpha and omega.
---Robyn on 7/31/07


Robyn" "I speak the truth as I know it..."

I have a suggestion: maybe speak the truth as the Bible knows it.
---Steveng on 7/31/07


Steveng: I speak the truth as I know it. I am not looking for anyone to agree with me. But if sonmeone is helped along the way fine. Churches today are far away from the bible and the biblical way of doing things. There is a form of godliness but that's about it. Not good enough.
---Robyn on 7/30/07




Robyn: What was God's reason for counciling with other Christians?
---Steveng on 7/30/07


Robyn: Hey, Robyn, calm down. Breath in, breath out. I'm just saying what the Bible dictates. If you have a problem with this issue, please take it up with God.
---Steveng on 7/30/07


Madison1101: We do have to be discerning these days. Everybody in the church is not there for the right reasons and neither are they saved. These are facts.
I was so disgusted by a lot of so called Christian behavior until I left the church for many years. I am so glad the Lord brought me back and to myself but I had to learn better ways to deal with this problem. Leaving the church was not the answer. I am older and wiser bit still somewhat saddened by what I see today.
---Robyn on 7/30/07


Madison, so true. I shared my experience with you, why I went to see a Priest (I'm not RC), because I needed someone to talk to. I knew he was able to keep a confidence, without spreading it all over town. Pastors wives tell husbands and vice versa. If the pastor's wife has a close prayer partner friend, before you know, it's in the newspaper. There are so very few people you can share anything personal with. That is why people visit professionals that take an oath not to share with everyone.
---anonymous on 7/30/07


Robyn: I once had a friend who was pregnant out of wedlock. She was a baby Christian and I encouraged her to speak with her pastor for help in confessing and repenting of the sin of fornication. She confided in three people, the pastor, a friend of her boyfriend, and me. Within a week, the entire neighborhood of the church knew about this girl's pregnancy. Pastor's wife was an Avon lady in the neighborhood. Telephone, Telegram, Tell the pastor.
---Madison1101 on 7/29/07


Steveng: Again we have to use commonsense and spiritual discernment in all that we do.
I have not been married almost 30 years for nothing. My spouse does not attend my church, ok. When you confide in a pastor, you are giving this pastor way too much authority over you and your spouse. The spouse (man) resents this. A pastor's authority does not extend to my home. My husband has liberty to run his home the way he see fit.
---Robyn on 7/29/07


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Yes Steveng we are to seek godly counsel and share our burdens with our sisters and brothers. Confide in our pastors. But show me where these type Christians are. Christians are the worse friends and confidants you can have. People don't even like to say why they are coming to the altar for prayer anymore. You tell someone and they spread it all over the church. Where's the godliness in that? Keeping it real.I take my burdens to the Lord in prayer.
---Robyn on 7/29/07


Robyn: That surely is NOT a Godly response.

We are told to seek counsil when there are problems. We are told to carry each other's burdens (Galatians6:2). So, what is the purpose of the elders in the church? Acts20:28, Eph4:11, Heb13:17, Matt18:15-18, Gal6:1, James5:19-20, 2Cor2:7-8.

What is the purpose of having Godly friends if they are not there to help with problems, to comfort one another, and encouraging one another.
---Steveng on 7/29/07


Your husband is angry with you for confiding in your pastor about your and his relationship. I don't blame him for that. Let me take an educated guess at to what you are doing. If you are doing this you need to quit it....right away! You are doing more damage to your marriage than helping it.
My guess: You are married. Ok. You are probably born again. Spouse is not. You are confiding his habits and other information about your marriage to this pastor. This is disrespecting your spouse. Stop it~
---Robyn on 7/28/07


Ah, yes, to cuss or not to cuss, that is the question. But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy communication from your mouth. Colossians3:8, Rom3:13-14, Matt5:34-37, James5:12, Isaiah5:20, Proverbs18:7,8,21, Luke6:45, Ephesians4:29-31, James1,26, James3:3-10, 1Peter3:10, Ephesians 5:11-12,

Our speech should not be like that of the world nor those of the world. We are to be representatives of Christ. Cussing reveals the condition of a man's heart.
---Steveng on 7/28/07


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Don't give him advice. Pray for him and praise him for the good things he does. If he is a Christian, the Holy Spirit will convict him. Pray that he comes under the control of the Holy Spirit. Read "The Power of a Praying Wife."
---Madison on 7/28/07


Stop giving your husband advice. I don't know of many men who would accept this sort of advice happily. From you, his wife, it can only sound like criticism. Men don't accept that.
You can only continue to pray that God will clean up his mouth, and by using sweet words yourself, set the example. God bless you.
---Margaret on 3/10/07


Sounds like a big spiritual problem of some type in need of being bound [Matt.18:18-20]. Every 'born again' christian, individually and corporately has this authority [Lke.10:19-20]. Bind that unGodly attitude [spirit], SILENTLY, in Jesus' Name, scripturely, everytime it curses, loosing him & setting him free, lest he be given over to a reprobate mind, or blasphemes The Holy Spirit! [We bind or loose on earth, Jesus Christ confirms it from heaven!]. God Bless & Maranatha!
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 7/12/05


Pray that he will get saved, if he gets saved right real good, God will clean that mouth up of his. Not all at once, but if the man sticks with God he will be a new man.
---Rebecca_D on 6/24/05


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Unfortunately, men learn this from their fathers - Yes, Pray that this man will be touched by the Holy Spirit, and stop this language. Do not speak to him about it, That is giving it your attention - Like all bad habits, if it causes a stir -they will continue to do it.
Remove yourself and your children from the room immediately. No words need to be spoken. When he does not get the same attention for his wrong behaviour, and is left on his own - - you will probably find he stops.
---Rosemaryrosem_4669 on 6/22/05


A side note: People swear by what's important to them. In Elizabethan times, "God's teeth" or "Ods bodkins [God's little body--the Sacrament of Communion]" or "Marry! [By the Virgin Mary!]" were frequently used. See almost anything by Shakespeare.

French-Canadian oaths likewise come from the sacristy.

In 21st century America, our swearwords come from the bathroom.

Strange, isn't it?
---Jack on 6/22/05


You have no power over what comes out of your husband's mouth. You DO have power over your own attitude and reaction. There is an old Christian custom of quietly praying, "Blessed be God!" or "Praise His name!" when you hear something blasphemous.

Try that.
---Jack on 6/22/05


I'm not a cusser myself, but I have to say that I agree with Margaret.
---Alan_of_U.K. on 6/22/05


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I think by you telling your husband that you dont like his cursing makes him want to do it more. Just pray that the spirit will put the condemnation on him for using such foul words. Dont let it bother your heart... remain confident that YOU are serving YOUR Lord in the way that YOU should. Hopefully your husband will have a change of heart and realize that the foul language is not good for the soul.
---kim on 6/22/05


Mine does to and I have children. It is so diblitating and I have reached my wits end. If it is on his mind it is on his tongue.
---T on 6/21/05




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