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Marry A Man You Don't Like

Can someone marry a man she does not like, but like the character of the man, but no love please I need your advice.
How can one deviate from all this lusts and go out of any thing that might take you out from the sight of the Lord?

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I wil take the phrase 'but no love' as meaning no emotion of love. But marrying for the emotion of love is dangerous in itself - emotions do not always last, the Love of God for us, and of us to our spouse, should last. If you are not very emotional as a woman, and know that your liking of the man's character will enable you to be a good wife to him, yes, surely. But many time people are too emotional, when the feeling of love is not there, problems begin.
---peter3594 on 3/10/10


ONLY IF it is God that led/told you to go for him. In the early times people marry those not familiar with them, and likeness and love develops from there onwards. Read Proverbs 3:5-7 and Psalms127:1 often and pray asking God to reveal your own spouse to you. That is the best way that i know. Remember that large numbers of those who are divorced/divorcing today thought they were head-over-heels in love before, deciding by emotions is not good enough.
---Adetunji on 3/8/10


For all of you silly little ladies out there: all of you must love pain. Love being wounded and hurt. If you enter into any type relationships with the issues you are dealing with,beforehand, you are setting yourself up for a great big fall! You will suffer everyday for the decision you made to marry these men. Marriage is not something you can throw away,like a dirty paper towel, when you are done. Please do not enter into these type relationships. You will still be lonely,unloved and any and all emotions, you are experiencing now. Nothing will change. It will,quite possibly, get worse. I would hold onto my freedom and wait. You are better off being alone. Trust me. You can make it without a man. Pray and turn it over to God.
---Robyn on 3/3/10


Ephesians 5 seems to say a woman does not have to be in love. It says that a man has to love a woman the way Christ loved the church. The woman is respect and honor which is easy when he loves you that way.
---Barbara on 3/2/10


There have been inumerable Love Stories that have sprung out 'arranged marriages'. Proverbs 31 offers the best, the lasting advice. The eyes and the ears are deceived, and these will count for nought in a disfiguring accident.
Prov 31:30-31: "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates."
---Nana on 8/7/09




The greatest of all is love.building a marriage on mere spirit take and hope wiLl only lead for disaster. What happens when you wake up and that nice guys has some flaws and he starts snores and all them thing. What happens when you find someone that attracts you in a romantic way. Pray about it though
---racquel on 8/6/09


Please tell me how this turned out for you. I am in the exact same situation and getting married in a couple of months and I am not in Love and I am not physically attracted to this man, but he is the only one who has been there for me and my daughter and has not hurt me. He loves me very much but I don't have the same feelings. I know he will be the ideal husband and father just without the love. I am 32 and I think that I might not have true love in my cards. I have been praying for this since 2002 and I have been a single parent for so long I am tired and want to settle and have a stable family.
---Tamara on 7/30/09


In marriage there are no little things, everything is big. And since a good deal of living in proximity has to do with leaving the toilet seat up and crumbs in the couch, I think its unadvisable to marry someone you do not like.
You don't just marry the godly man or woman, you marry the burps, belches, bad breath and flatulence.
No kidding.
---larry on 7/20/09


WHY , would somebody even think of doing something of this nature....??????
---jerry on 7/20/09


if you are saying that this is someone you respect and know will make a good father for your children and a wonderful husband....

but you think you do not feel romantically attracted to him.... well, that is not too uncommon

your fear..like most is that, if you do get married to this honourable man and later get romantically attracted to someone else, it will be unfair?

take time to pray until you are convinced he is the right one.... it takes time for some... unlike others who seem to have love at first sight or so the movies put it
---PAT on 7/20/09




You know deep down in your soul this man is not for you....... wait on the Lord be of Good courage, Wait I say on the Lord.

Marry in haste but you'll most definitely Repent at leisure, that's the hardest situation to live with the Lust is soon over but the pain is forever.
---Carla3939 on 6/15/09


My heart goes way out to you for asking a question like this. You must be a very frustrated and desperate person to even consider something like this.But even so,I guess,this can happen.
I would not even dream of going into a relationship like this.
It is hard enough to make a go of a relationship, with someone we love. Why take on extra burdens like this? You must be a masochist.If you think you might change this man or fall in love with him,later...forget it!!! It probably won't happen. You deserve so much more. So does he. Leave this man alone!
---Robyn on 6/7/09


well you will never know how it will end, you two might even fall in love who knows. look for the positives and ask yourself and not us coz you know yourself better than anyone, do what you think is right and at times taking that one step which your most afraid to take might be the most remarkable thing you'l ever do:)
---rhya on 6/6/09


You are not mature enough or ready for marriage. Please spare this man you are marrying. He deserves better. It is hard enough to get along and live with someone whom we like and love. If you marry someone you do not like it is going to be pure and solid Hell for you and the poor man. Don't be cruel or unkind, let this man get out of this prison relationship..now!
I am concerned for you as well. Why do you want to do such a cruel thing to yourself or someone else?
---Robyn on 8/19/08


I've traveled across North America and have meet dozens of couples whose marriage were arranged. Many of these 'arranged marriages' have lasted for over sixty years. The one common element of this arranged marriage is God. Sure they had their moments of arguments - that's a given when any two people get together - but usually settled their agruments before going to bed with prayer. Many times they said they "grew into love just like you grow into knowing God." A person can love anyone if they really try - especially when God is present. Do an online Bible search for "one another" and "each other" to help you plan your marriage.
---Steveng on 8/6/08


I'm in the same boat. I hope it is enough! Wedding is almost here! Pray for me and I'll be praying for you... : )
---Lea on 8/6/08


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To marry anyone you don't like will most like end in divorce. What will you do when someone that has those character qualities you like comes along, and that you do like that person? My advise is to wait, save the heartache. The one you marry should also be one of you best friends. Good luck, God bless
---geraa7578 on 5/30/08


What do you mean no love? Isn't it the whole point? If you don't love the man then how can you say you love God? You see this man and don't love him? But you don't see God and profess to love Him? Leave the man alone and don't ruin his life. You have other issues to fix.
---lenora on 4/5/07


This is a very confusing question...how can you possibly marry someone if you don't like or love him? How can you like someone's character and not like or love him as a person? I would seriously pray about your motives here as a red flag has gone up in front of me while reading this question...if the Lord really wants you to marry someone He will also give you the love, respect, and trust for that person as well so you need to do some soul searching before marrying someone just for their character..
---Fran8674 on 4/2/07


Do not marry a man you do not love or even like! Major warning bells going off for you sister. I have been in a loveless marriage and it is not God's plan for marriage. Good character does not sustain a marriage for life, love, respect, honour and friendship does. Walk away from this man and wait on the one that God intends - marry a man you love, respect and value, take nothing less, no matter what your reasoning.
---Maxine on 8/3/05


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...I think it would be possible to marry someone like that but it would take a great deal of commitment and effort on the part of both individuals; often a deep love will grow out of that. Are you both committed to a lasting and loving (as in action not feeling) marriage or would one of you resent it? If you would resent it, then I do not think it would be a good idea.
---Mary_Ann on 7/26/05


...I think it would be possible to marry someone like that but it would take a great deal of commitment and effort on the part of both individuals; often a deep love will grow out of that. Are you both committed to a lasting and loving (as in action not feeling) marriage or would one of you resent it? If you would resent it, then I do not think it would be a good idea.
---Mary_Ann on 7/26/05


I believe it is possible to think highly of a man's character but not feel physically attracted to him. I have two male friends who I am very close to and love them dearly with agape love - Christ's love. We would give our lives for each other but I would have difficulty being married to them because of our differences in character. More...
---Mary_Ann on 7/26/05


Love is essential in any marriage. But let's remember that it is Godly love that is required, not man's love. Godly love is not so much about emotions as it is about choosing to lay down our lives for another. Commit to your marriage, and it will "work"
---Murray on 6/30/05


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People did this many times over the centuries. It's fine as long as both are willing to keep their vows to God and be committed to the marriage no matter what. Remember love is a thing you do. But you both need to know what you're promising. Does he know how you feel? If so, fine. But if he thinks you love him, that's a deception, and you need to tell him your true feelings. It's usually unwise to marry without love, because of the temptations it might cause later on, but it's not impossible.
---billy9696 on 6/30/05


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