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Boundaries For Married Friends

Is there a boundary for close friendships with the opposite sex when you're already married?

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 ---vienna on 6/30/05
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Non-christians (and even most animals) have codes of behavior too - they're not all mindless feral beats. So "anything goes" generally does not apply to most people.
---StrongAxe on 3/12/08

Definitely. Without the boundaries things could end up more intimate than originally intended.
---Madison on 3/11/08

To have relationships/friendships that are closer (emotionally) than with your spouse is a danger sign already. You are separating/measuring how much of yourself you are giving to your spouse, the person you chose to live the rest of your life with, I wouldn't trust someone like you in my spouses life, even as a so-called friend. Every relationship needs "boundaries".
---irhnow on 1/12/06

A message for Nock.
if this man is your friend, you should be telling him to stop seeing this married woman it is very wrong, and the bible says to avoid the appearence of evil. it is only a matter of time before something happens.
God could hold you accountable for not warning him. if he is your friend it is your buisness and especialy if you are both christians
---susanna on 8/10/05

Albert, That's ironic, i do study every day.
---Eloy on 7/5/05

Eloy, I'm afraid to tell you that you need some more studies to do.
---Albert on 7/4/05

Nock, your example shows extreme "friendship". I would not go so far because it will be imprudent.
---Albert on 7/3/05

Albert, i agree to disagree with you, for i count any dignity and righteousness apart from Christ as vanity, even animals will love each other if only to fulfill what they want.
---Eloy on 7/3/05

In my opinion, there should be boundaries for close friendships with the opposite sex when you're already married. Otherwise, things can really get out of hand. As the saying goes, and it's a very true saying, one thing leads to another.
My male friend is extremely close friends with a married woman and he knows her better than her own husband does. They have long phone chats together, go places together, he's always at her house, etc. I don't think this is right but it's none of my business.
---Nock on 7/3/05

Again, I disagree with you Eloy. I know non Christians who are faithful to their spouse. The "carnal mind" can go berserk in anyone if not controlled and sin is not the only reason why people restrain from going astray.

I stay faithful to my wife not solely because it's a sin not to, but because I love my wife and frankly the desire is non existant.

Dignity belongs to anyone who wants to maintain it - Christians and non Christians alike.
---Albert on 7/3/05

sue and albert, no, let me elaborate. Eventhough love and committment is a powerful thing, unless one is born-again of Christ, the carnal mind and flesh is still alive and does not have the indwelling and controlling power of the Holy Spirit which keeps one faithful.
---Eloy on 7/2/05

Are you saying only Christians have good marrigaes? I think not. Some people are good but are not Christians. Strange, but true.
---sue on 7/2/05

Eloy, you are exaggerating and mixing topics. One of the closest couple I know of are 2 Hindu friends of mine who love each other enormously and they are an example couple. I know other non Christian who are deeply in love.

You dont have to be a Christian to truly love your partner.
---Albert on 7/2/05

Yes Albert, the lost do not know the truth, so they cannot keep it: the scripture reveals that the unregenerate are prone to the lusts of the flesh and are subservient to the father of lies.
---Eloy on 7/1/05

It depends what you mean by close friendship.
I have several close friendships (brotherly hug) with several married women, and with their husbands (slap shoulders)
You should not have a close friendship with anyone unless your spouse knows of it and their spouse knows of it.
Yes ... we are back to honesty and trust
---Alan8869_of_UK on 7/1/05

No Eloy, if some are non-Christian, they still exchanged vows between them so not anything goes.

I believe that when there is absolute trust, such 'arguments" do not exist. My wife and I never discuss "loyalty" because we know it's there and speaking to people of other gender is not a problem between us.
---Albert on 7/1/05

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If you're nonChristian, anything goes; but if you're a born-again Christian, then you respect your spouse as though they are with you at all times 24/7 and conduct yourself as your spouse expects of your sacred vowed union.
---Eloy on 7/1/05

F.F., if people are so weak, then they have a big big problem to deal with.
---Albert on 7/1/05

Yes, there is always a boundary for close friendships with the opposite sex, married or unmarried.
---linda6546 on 6/30/05

Wouldn't this be a trust issue with each particular couple? Some couples may have a hard time with it, others, not. My husband and I have been married 23 yrs. and we have friends of each sex.
---sue on 6/30/05

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It all depends on your own maturity and character and the other person's character.

I joke with some women but not with others.
---Albert on 6/30/05

To me it sounds more of an issue of trust, not being able to trust your spouse. Don't you have any friends of the opposite sex that you are really close to? To set boundaries on his friends, you will have to set boundaries on your friends as well. Good luck
---geraa7578 on 6/30/05

Because human beings are weak and easily tempted creatures it would be best to always meet up as friends with at least 2 of each sex in the group. That way people are less likely to misbehave and less likely to accuse anyone of doing so. Sad we have to think this way but others are watching us and we need to be SEEN to be doing the right thing not just doing the right thing.
---F.F. on 6/30/05

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