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My Man Doesn't Look After Me

I am married to a man who does not believe that it is his responsibility to look after his wife. He stresses me with finances and never want to discuss about it. He does not want me to tell him my problems. What should I do? I have tried everything esp prayers and nothing seems to work.

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 ---jacqu9766 on 7/7/05
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I have the same situation, you are not alone sister. My husband does not plan for our future and I do our budget, I have recently found out about debts he had from a previous marriage that he now has to repay and "forgot about" - try counselling as a couple with a qualified christian counsellor, so you can both have a voice and you have a witness to what gets said. Be strong - lean on God when you husband lets you fall.
---Kate on 8/2/05


If you have a good Pastor, I highly recommend inviting him around for a coffee and a chat with both of you about the biblical way to love each other, this changed my marriage when my husband was not loving me as God intended him to. We now have a better marriage. Love your husband as hard as it may be and ask your Pastor to speak with him about responsibility and his role in the home.
---Maxine on 7/9/05


My sister has the same problem and I think that it is because she is so capable. The more capable a woman is the more a man is likely to take a back seat and leave her do more and more until she has total responsibility and he none.
---Paul_James on 7/8/05


You aren't the only one, hon! It is a very common problem. Readthe 7-pt post by DoryLory in the blog called- Some dislike of men here. 2nd column about 40 - 50 from top. Its interesting ,makes u think.
---Deah on 7/8/05


"I have tried everything esp prayers and nothing seems to work."....."Get rid of the ESP stuff. It is not of God."....."I could be wrong here, but I think that when she wrote 'esp' she meant especially -- not the esp that you were thinking." Doesn't this just prove what we were saying recently about abbreviating not always being a good idea??
---F.F. on 7/8/05




My husband did not believe he should look after me either. That's okay. I can look after myself. My problems were none of his concern. That is what girlfriends, and moms are for.

I suggest you seek a therapist to discuss this with. Your problems sound more complex than anyone here can really advise you.
---Madison on 7/8/05


Sorry, I miss understood you. (thanks Debbie)
You are in a hard place. I would keep crying out to God. Maybe you can talk about supporting each other till he can come to a place where he will be more responsible. There is nothing wrong with doing it together. Encourage him in other areas as the head of the house. Taking on all the responsibity may be to big of a cross for him to bear alone right now.
---Linda3939 on 7/7/05


July 7thFirst of all, are you both or either of you christians? If one of you isnot, you are unequally yoked, then you will need to pray for salvation and seek Gods' face.If both of you are christians, you are to be of one mind and body, that means that the man is the head of the household(providing he is a christian) and you are in subjection to him, unless he asks you to do something that is not in the word of God.Do either of you work, or both of you? Finances need to bediscussed, cant
---Joyce_9456 on 7/7/05


I was married for 10 yrs. Few years later he decided not to have any committment with me though' stay married. He was jobless for 4 yrs. I supported his living, prayed and upkept my duty as his wife but faced domestic violence.He committed constant adultery, got into gambling debts and had to flee.

We divorced but remain friends.

I continue to encourage him to go back to Jesus. Recently, he woke up from the darkness, repented and asked for forgiveness. We pray for each other.
---Rose on 7/7/05


Linda:

I could be wrong here, but I think the when she wrote "esp" she meant especially -- not the esp that you were thinking.

God Bless,

Debbie -
---Debbie on 7/7/05




Are you a new Christian? If not, you need Jesus. Get rid of the ESP stuff. It is not of God. Ask God to forgive you for turning to that for help. Focus all of your heart on the Lord. Read and accept His word in your life. Get your life right with the Lord first. Is your husband a believer?
---Linda3939 on 7/7/05


Help some young people to benefit from your experience by pointing what you wish you had done differently if you had been wiser. Ask him also to go to counseling or else you will seriously consider a (temporary) seperation.
---Pierr7958 on 7/7/05


Did he act this way prior to being married? Many times you can tell how one is going to act inside of the marriage IF they acted that way prior to the marriage, or if he said different things, HINTING to it being YOUR problem. Just a thought. May you be BLESSED as you put CHRIST first in everything.
---colleen on 7/7/05


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