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I Want Out Of Husband's Church

If I was in a church that I didn't feel comfortable in, but my husband has been attending for years, how do I get out without hurting him? They believe different than me, they worship different, and I don't feel welcome.

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 ---Lynn on 7/11/05
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You probably can't accomplish it without hurting him. Pray fervently about this and then have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband, and even with the pastor if possible. Maybe you can reach a compromise, but I think it's better to go to separate churches than to drop out entirely.
---Nan on 3/3/08

If you're not getting what you need, find a different church. If you're worried about hurting your husband, ask him to go to a different church with you, see if you can't find a church that feeds you both spiritually.
---Katie on 7/15/07

I am in the same situation with my husband. He is a member of a church that I'm not. I also don't feel comfortable, and am not being spirtually fed. The only thing that I can tell you is that you have to be responsible for your own spiritual walk not your husbands. If you are not being spiritually fed, then God is trying to tell you something. I have to do whats best for my spiritual walk. If that means finding a different church than my husband, then thats what I am going to do. Hope this helps.
---Sarah on 9/2/06

pt2: Since he wasn't attending the Lutheren church fulltime anyhow he quit going there. Though some people do not agree with my descision, he does. he now goes with me to bookstudies,& to mid-week services when he can. He even met some brothers outside of service& forming a christan bond with them,so instead w/o "forcing"my husband to do anything he willingly goes when he wants too.& Jehovah God loves me for the fact i am going to serve him, not man.
---candice on 12/11/05

I agree with gerraa. When I stopped my study of over a yr with Jehovah Witnesses I was listening to "society" & others whom never stepped foot into the congr. so I quit.I then turned to a church my husband wanted to return to which is the lutheren faith. I felt like I was drowning in their services. I finally told my husband & he agreed that i could return back to the kingdom hall with my congr.
---Candice on 12/11/05

Lynn, have you been honest with your husband, or even talked with him about it? I had some friends that was going to a baptist church, one day he realized his wife was spiritual starving, and they changed church. How both are happier and spiritually fed and feeding others, and have a great teen ministry.
God bless
---geraa7578 on 8/7/05

What I'm about to state is really a situation of "closing the barn doors after the cows have escaped", but this is a matter you should have discussed before getting married. But, to the point. Tell you husband, directly, that you feel uncomfortable. See if you can find a church that both of you feel comfortable in - one where both of you are strangers. This will "level the playing field." Find one that is neither his type denomination or yours, but is Christ centered.
---WIVV on 8/6/05

To answer some questions...Yes, we have been married 5 months now, so it is fairly recent. I've prayed earnestly about this situation. I like the preaching, I'm being fed, as you put it, but there just seems to be something wrong. I've been attending for 7 months now and I still don't feel like I'm welcome. I know I'm there to worship my Saviour, not to "hang out" with people, but shouldn't you feel comfortable in your own church?
---Lynn on 7/12/05

Have you discussed this with him and have you prayed about it? Obviously it is better if a couple can worship at the same church but it is more important that you are both comfortable in your worship. If you do not feel that you are being spiritually fed there is nothing to gain by staying. I would hope that, if he realises that you will mature as a Christian better elsewhere, he will not try to hold you back.
---Paul_James on 7/11/05

Have you recently married? I too found myself in that situation. They were very legalistic & twisted scripture. I tried reasoning & scripture but had to begin attending a different fellowship. Due to other things I am no longer married.
Your first responsibility is to Jesus Christ. IF possible, try to live in peace with others. Stand firm on the truth.
---Sara3437 on 7/11/05

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