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Divorce Grounds Or Payback Time

Many years ago I was unfaithful to my husband, I am positive he never knew. I repented to God and changed my ways. Now my husband is cheating on me. Is it still grounds for divorce or pay-back for my earlier sins? I feel like I deserve it.

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 ---allie on 7/11/05
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Regardless of your past sins, you dont deserve it. God permits divorce for unfaithfulness...but he does not command it. If there is any way to stay together and work it out, I believe God hopes you will. I would definitely seek Christian counseling. I'll say a prayer for you both.
---Todd1 on 5/21/08


In all Loving candor, This is called Reaping and Sowing in the Bible...Every Word, Every Action and Every deed is a seed...Reaping and sowing is a spiritual law...We will always harvest whatsoever we plant...For whatever a man or woman sows, that and "that only" is what he or she will reap...And adultery is grounds for a divorce even biblically...So life really is fair after all...
---Elisabeth on 5/20/08


If it is possible for you to truly repent, it is also possible for him to truly repent. He needs to have his chance if he should want it. Deserve has nothing to do with it. We all deserve to be sent to hell but the Lord gives us our chance if we should want it.
---justin on 2/5/08


Tough question. Since he was unaware of what you did and you have since changed your ways. Maybe you should forgive him. You know already that one can make a slip, and it is wrong. Because you fell yourself. No one deserves to be cheated on and "vengeance shall be mine" saith the Lord. Revenge is never a wise move,beloved. Try to work it out this time with your suppose. Considering what you have done in the past. Show mercy. This time.
---Robyn on 6/7/07


if you have repented than you are forgiven and are a new creation.God does not pay back what is already forgiven
---catha5499 on 6/7/07




I am not sure you could say it is pay back time. My husband recently cheated on me, I am trying to work things out with him, it is very hard. But I would never cheat on him. two wrongs do not make a right. I think that if yo have a lot of good in your marriage then forgive and forget like I am doing
---mary on 7/12/05


Thanks to all who replied, this has been resolved.
---allie on 7/12/05


It would be so easy to say so but it isn't. Two wrongs don't make a right. Best is to find out why because you cheated to for a reason.
---Marie_Jacquelyne on 7/12/05


Your husband knew that time. If not consciously, he knew all was not right in your relationship. You damaged a lot, but were forgiven by God. - You need a long serious discussion with the Lord and your husband. - You deserve to be loved by God and by your husband.
---Riitta on 7/12/05


No one deserves to be cheated on. Perhaps this would be a good time to confess your sin to your husband. I don't believe this is pay-back, because God doesn't cause someone to sin. Your husband should confess to you, as well.
---anon on 7/12/05




Have you confronted him about this? Divorce is not of God. What he puts together no man can put apart. Yes we all make mistakes no matter how big they may seem. Let him know how you feel about what is happening, be open and honest. Make positive changes in your approach to him and your relationship. Do not pull the will over your eye and act as if there is nothing wrong but instead face the problem head on. Know who is the source of help. He will comfort you and be your strength thro' it all.
---Saman on 7/12/05


Be still and know that I am God. This is his word, no matter what has happened in the past, don't let it ruin your future. Christ died for our sins. I not saying what you did in the past is correct or what he is doing now is correct, but what you need to do is press on and focus on God, cause he can change any situation.
---Saman on 7/12/05


Both of you need to seek counselling. I don't think it is payback. You both need to seek Gods help and that of a Christian counsellor. You must forgive but if he repeats the affair or comitts adultry again then you need to seek professional advice. I am not advocating a divorce but a repeat offender isn't serious about changing their ways.
---Elisabeth on 7/12/05


not right that you did not ask for husbands forgiveness. He had every right to know even if you asked God's forgiveness. My ex cheated on me with someone who had aids. He did not tell me. was during time when we where under same roof but not living as married couple otherwise I could have been infected just because he did not tell me. You reap what you sow. How can you knock him when you did same.
Yes you asked God forgiveness but you need to ask forgiveness to one you did sin against as well.
---Shaz on 7/11/05


You reap what you sow. Now the tables are turned, so you would know how it feels. Why divorce him? You done it to him first.
---Rebecca_D on 7/11/05


No, it is not payback time. You need to realize that nearly half of married men cheat on their wives at least once. Most of the time, the wives feel that they themselves have failed to satisfy their needs, and simply forgive and try to forget what their husbands have done. I would do the same particularly if you have a family to consider.
---Lee on 7/11/05


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Allie No one deserves it, in actuality we deserve HELL for who we willfully choose to be.

No one can make you not divorce, not even God short of killing you before the fact.

The hurt and the anger can be worked out and forgiven. It'll take time and a steadfast commitment to make things work on both ends.

It requires honesty to re-build the trust, tenderness and forgiveness to heal the hurt, and a passion for God's will to save your marriage.

Please try.
---Pharisee on 7/11/05




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