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Is My Friend Really Married

My friend was convinced she was married by a Christian "in the eyes of God". What scriptures show that you should marry by a judge or pastor? Is she correct in assuming she is married?

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 ---fran on 7/12/05
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since this blog is almost a decade old, i hope you have found the answers and peace.
---aka on 10/20/14

I don't know is she is correct as I lack info and the Bible is specific. Deuteronomy 22:28-9 "If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives." Ezekiel 16:8 Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your naked body. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.
---sin on 10/19/14

If someone really loves you what is wrong with getting legally married?
---Elder on 7/13/05

I'm legally married in the Gov's eyes. Having joined the Federal system in the 8th grade by Government encouraged social security sign up. 8th grade...ha.
Knowing what I know now, I wish I was not signed up with the social hoax. Gov forseen that.
GOD takes care of us...right. Has me.
And it would be fine for GODly brothers and Sisters too help.
System doesn't allow GOD in Gov any more. We "allow" perverts and abominations to rule us. Revising the marriage laws for marriage.
Marriage before GOD, upheld by GOD.
Save your $50.00 gov permit money, your gonna need it.
---Trav on 12/9/11

During the period Abraham Isaac and Jacob were married there were cultural ceremonies that represented a formal marriage that the peoples of that region recognized. During the time of Marry and Josef it would have been documented and kept as a written record, really all the way back to the time of captivity in Egypt there was probably written records of marriages for the Nation of Israel. The legal need for documented records for marriage were important in the ancient world, because your wife was your chattel/property and it needed to be legal an enforceable in the event your property was stolen, or you wanted to trade your wife.
---Poppa_Bear on 11/29/11

Just wondering, do you suppose that Adam, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph and Mary etc etc, were "legally" married? Did they have a piece of paper that said so?
---michael_e on 11/29/11

\\Most U.S. states recognize marriage that are the result primarily because of co-habitation (common law marriages) and that for legal purposes\\

Actually, this is no longer true.

Common-law marriages, despite the modern perjorative connotations, were once quite respectable in frontier days when clergymen and judges were few and far between.

Because of these conditions, all it took to establish a marriage were a man and woman intending to be married, cohabitating, presenting themselves as married, and accepted as such by the community.

The conditions that allowed for common-law marriages simply do not exist today.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/18/11

//My friend was convinced she was married by a Christian "in the eyes of God".

Most U.S. states recognize marriage that are the result primarily because of co-habitation (common law marriages) and that for legal purposes.

yes, I would agree that a judge or pastor does not necessarily make a legal marrige however, I believe it in the best interest of either party to have their marriage formally recognized and that takes a license as well as some sort of ceremony.
---lee1538 on 11/17/11

Accoring to the bible there is a wedding feast after the marriage which indicates witnesses to the marriage. As for Rms 13:1 Paul was speaking of God as the one to be subject to. According to the proper Greek words from Strong's concordance higher means better,superior and power means force,capacity,potentate. Jesus was the only potentate 1Tim6:15
---unecks on 11/17/11

Nowhere in the bible does it say that you need a pastor or a judge to be married in the eyes of God. Mark 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife... No pastor, no judge, not even a ceremony is required. Making excuses that these are required is just being defensive of tradition, not the bible. Its pure opinion adding something in the bible thats not there.
The real questions are: if they have physical intimacy, do they sin? Do they sin if they dont get married legally?
Sex in the boundary of marriage is not immorality. They do not sin. The sin is: they are rebelling against higher authority (Romans 13:1). If the state instituted marriage by law, then they should abide by that.
---LG on 9/14/11

There is nothing in the bible that requires the presens of a pastor or judge in a marriage.

Genesis 24:67 Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her:

Genesis 29:23 And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him, and he went in unto her.

Genesis 29:30 And he went in also unto Rachel,

seems simple enough IN GODS EYES
---francis on 2/19/11

There are two kinds of marriage: Biblical Marriage, Civil marriage.

The state may or may not recognize religious weddings and vice-versa - such as the Catholic Church at one time did not recognize weddings outside the Catholic Church as valid.

In the eyes of the state, one can be married by obtaining a license that is essentially a contract or one can be married under "common law" which varies by state. Licenses have only been around for a couple hundred years.

Biblically, the Bible states that some had married Christ to prostitutes by sleeping with them. In biblical times a man gave his wife a marriage contract (a ketubah) promising her certain things and then, once they had consummated, they were married.
---Terrell_Lewis on 2/15/11

I believe that if a man and a woman make a commitment before god and to each other, then they are married. As far as having witnesses, if they live as husband and wife, go to church as husband and wife in front of neighbors family and friends, then who is to say that they should not be recognized by god as such. I know many people that have been married for years and divorce because it's cheaper to live, however, they still live the same way married in the eyes of god. Computers will crash and wars will come, things we have today will be lost to us forever, including that piece of paper. On another note, our conscience comes from God. If you truly want the answer to that question, seek it and you will find it. You will feel it and know it.
---dw1234 on 2/11/11

one can believe anything they choose many little children have married each other off in their playtime - if marrying is simply "saying so" then leaving someone would be even easier ...hence exactly what happens in the WORLD today as many live together without the bonds of marriage choosing to live by their own standards rather than Gods

if your friend believes she is married just by saying so then who are you to convince her otherwise?

by law if either her or her boyfriend want to receive benefits of marriage a marriage certificate will need to be produced ...otherwise they could place themselves in a host of legal problems if they just claim they are married to government/state officials employers etc
---Rhonda on 6/21/10

IF the 2 of them agree in the name of God and declare to themselves that they belong to each other in God's name(Adam & Eve example), then they are married and it would be ungodly for any of them to quit that agreement anyhow. But all laws of man that does not oppose God's law has to be obeyed as well. For the govt, civil society, and the body of Christ to recognise and treat you as married, you have to fulfill one of the various steps stipulated by law for marriage.
---Adetunji on 6/18/10

I like this answer. I would just add that witnesses must be present to this marriage/ wedding. It must be publicly decpared
---francis on 6/20/10

The only reason people say I am married in the eyes of God is so the can sleep together and not feel like they are in sin- this is total christian nonsense- there is no marraige to a man or woman anywhere else but here on earth and under the laws of man- Jesus is the one who states this. One day there when the Lord returns there will be the Marriage supper of the lamb.
---alex on 6/20/10

IF the 2 of them agree in the name of God and declare to themselves that they belong to each other in God's name(Adam & Eve example), then they are married and it would be ungodly for any of them to quit that agreement anyhow. But all laws of man that does not oppose God's law has to be obeyed as well. For the govt, civil society, and the body of Christ to recognise and treat you as married, you have to fulfill one of the various steps stipulated by law for marriage.
---Adetunji on 6/18/10

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I keep reading that God wants us to obey the laws of man and have a legal marriage ceremony. Well, abortion is legal in man's law, but is a sin in God's law. Divorce is legal according to the law of man, but to the law of God is a sin. There are many things which are legal in the laws of man, but are sins in the laws of God. The Bible even talks about the differences between man's law and God's law. I don't think it is right to pick which laws of man God wants us to follow and which laws of God, He wants us to follow. That would be like picking which Scriptures we want to believe and which ones we don't. So my point is that in the Old Testament men took many wives (or one wife) in marriage without a ceremony and it was righteous in God's eyes.
---BreAnn on 6/17/10

We are told to obey the laws of the land.
---shira_5965 on 11/11/08

Fran is she saying she and her guy were pronounced by some ONE Christian somewhere? An "in the eyes of God" LABEL does not necessarily make it marriage.

I think *Christian* marriage is a FAMILY thing, in which the Jesus people who know you come to realize, *along with you*, that you belong together, and so you want your pronouncement to be in family sharing with them.
---Bill_bila5659 on 8/7/07

The only thing that counts is the Marriage License. II there was one she is married if there was none she is not.
---notlaw99 on 8/7/07

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I know that when a bishop or a pastor marries people, they say: by the authority of the whatever state they live in I now pronounce you.if a man and a woman were to be stranded on an island and wanted to be married, how would they do it? thats why it is in the minds of the couple who's desire is to be married is the most important and that is what actually marries a couple. So if she and her partner believes they are married who is anyone to say they are not?
---Dwain on 8/7/07

The responses in this blog doesn't answer the question definatively.I really wonder how much the government awareness makes it the only way God recognises its legally on his throne? A ceremony with your Pastor and before your congregation of friends and family seems like it would be legit in heaven.I have always wonderered why a civil union(not recognising God) is recognised in heaven but a Christian ceremony alone is not considered valid.
---Jane_Buck on 7/1/07

For a subject that the world puts so much emphasis onto, there is very little about marriage in the Bible. Even less about any ceremony. In fact, the reality is that all the Bible says is that "A man shall leave his mother and the two shall become one". Makes for interestig thoughts, doesn't it.
---Robert on 4/8/07

If she has a legal document from the state or country that she lives in, then she is married. Without that, she is not.
---Madison on 4/5/06

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1st marriage: God creates woman from man. Scripture shows man leaves his mother/father & becomes 1 flesh with his wife (takes her in to his tent) Compare marriage to our relationship with Christ. Accept Christ in your heart, no witness other than God, then being baptized (the public display/reminder of the marriage God has already recognized) The feast Jesus prepares for us in Heaven is the "reception" after the wedding. Ceremonies became law because of the Catholic church in the 12th century.
---PastorRiz on 4/5/06

Checking with our authorities, they said there was no law that said two people could not call themselves married just because they never had a civil cermony or licence. They just wouldn't be recognized by the government as married until living together for 6 months.Living common law is legal according to the law.There is no Law in God's book that condemns men and woman from living together without a licence or ceremony.. So what's the big problem? The licence and cermony don't make the marriage.Bro. John
---john on 10/8/05

Marriage is a legal matter - done by a registered person with the state. To simply say you are married, "in the eyes of God" is not in keeping with the scripture that states we should obey the laws of the Government. She should not assume she is married - expecially at tax time or when it is required to give evidence of marriage to a government agency.
---WIVV on 10/8/05

We, as Christians, are to obey the law. The law states what is legal and not legal concerning marriage in the U.S.A. Read Titus 3:1 It's best understood if read in the New Amerian Standard Bible - personal opinion
---WIVV on 8/6/05

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If he doesn't sign on the line he isn't worth the time.
---Laure5469 on 7/16/05

Some women play mind games. Some are actually living common law or even in adultery as a mistress, yet they have convinced themselves that they are living without sin.
Being married should mean that church and state agree. However, as someone has said,
the ultimate power is God.
---barbara67 on 7/15/05

To say that a marriage must be approved by the civil authority before God approves of it means that God can be at the mercy of a Christless or even totally Godless government before He spiritually validates a marriage. (Cf Moslem nations, Israel, or the few Communist nations left.)

As to whether she is truly married in God's eyes--that's her own business and that of her husband's. MYOB, dearie!
---Jack on 7/15/05

Whether in front of a judge, or in front of a preacher, they are married without any assumptions. Usually a marriage certificate is given having the date, place, and names included on it. And then a honeymoon and consummation usually follows. Some people choose large weddings presided by a preacher in a church, and others choose small marriages or private elopings presided by a judge in a justice of the peace or in a court house. God is omnipresent, so both declarations are in his presence.
---Eloy on 7/15/05

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Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.

If proper marriage is governed by the state, and the state by the government, and that power be in place by the hand of God, then how could she be right with God?

To recieve God's blessing a marriage has to go through the state.

Even Jesus paid tribute to the one who crucified him.
---Pharisee on 7/14/05

God says to obey the laws of the land you live in...yes. It says to not do things that will hinder your brother. Jesus told the woman at the well that she was right in saying that she had no husband... that she had not married the man with whom she was living. The bible tells you. The Spirit Himself will testify to you the truth. Ask Him to tell you too.
---Amy on 7/14/05

Although we don't see the "marriage vows" in Scripture we do see the command to Obey the Laws of man.
We also see a wedding feast in John 2 that was conducted before many witnesses.
Common law marriages are unions conducted behind closed doors and no one sees the "commitment."
Government benefits extended to survivors normally do not go to mates of common law marriages.
If someone really loves you what is wrong with getting legally married?
---Elder on 7/13/05

For a marriage to be legal the ceremony usually has to be performed by someone licenced to perform wedding ceremonies and the law of the country states what the wording of the ceremony must be. I depends on which country this marriage took place but I am guessing from what you say that it was done in some sort of unofficial way by a Christian. As we are told to obey the laws of our own country (unless they contradict God's laws) I doubt God will consider it a marriage unless it was done legally.
---Xanthi on 7/13/05

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I think she's correct. Marriage is a sacred vow made to each another and to God. If they made that vow, then they are certainly married in God's eyes, with all the rights and responsibilities of that relationship, and God will judge them whether they keep it or not. Legally speaking, in some states such a marriage is also perfectly acceptable in the eyes of the State, as a "common-law" marriage.
---Billy on 7/13/05

If her "husband" wanted 2 leave, what would she b left wit? The kids? N the eyes of God we are married b4 witnesses...did she have witnesses? Y does the boyf. want 2 play house? He should b a man and show her she is loved and marry her n the eyes of God, by a man of God, b4 witnesses.
---Alicia on 7/12/05

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