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How To Find The Right Man

Why it so hard to find a good Christian man? I pray everyday that God will send me the right man. Everyone tells me to be patient. I am so tired of thinking you find the right one and the turn out to be the wrong one.

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 ---conna7473 on 7/15/05
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Are you reading the bible?

Becasue if you were you would have worked out that 1 Corinthians 7 states that there are going to be times when you are able to find a partner( wife) becasue it is the man that is supossed to be looking for a decent virgin wife, not a woman looking for a decent virgin husband although both should be virgins to start with.

Now forget these people who don't understand biblical context and look through the new testament it is not about finding a man it is about finding Christ, when you understand the end times you will if virtuous follow the biblical principle 'of being contented in what so ever situation you find yourself'.

You will only understand this when you push marriage!!!!
---Carla on 12/5/11


Maybe the Lord is trying to teach you something...patience! Because remember, one of the fruit of the Spirit is patience and the Lord might be wanting you to work with that first because you'll be needing that character with your relationship to the right Christian man God prepared for you.
---Lydz on 11/17/11


there is a shortage of men in church. i know because I have a son and I'm always looking for a mentor for my son but no one really wants to bother. and it's no better outside of the church either. in our culture, we have men who have completely hardened their hearts and really stick to logistics. women are, by nature, loving. men have to strive for it. why did God command a husband to love his wife? yep, because men aren't lovers innately. not to offend any man anywhere, I LOVE men's ability to think and act without emotion (like us who are just piles of tears at times), and to lead. Men are amazing specimans, but like women, we are all human and we've all lost our way. We have to work at things.
---kate on 7/24/08


FROM EXPERIENSE BE PATIENT I am still waiting but i had got tired of waiting and i ended up making a decision to be with someone because i was lonely after a month it all went doen hill and i am still lonely and i lost my peace but i had to fight hard to get my peace back because i was in termoil so weigh your options peace by waiting or termoil and fustration and starting over back to the beging
---patr3999 on 7/7/08


I have the same Question. I geuss out there is some one looking for good christian woman. HERE WE ARE. I frankly have given up, so enjoy my life such as it is. if God brings me some one Praise God! other wise I no longer will allow, this to get to me. had many years as a wife and a mom. now a new chapter opens for me. I truly miss human contact, but, It could be worse!
---Laure5469 on 7/10/07




The Bible states "He that findeth a wife. Let him find you. Be a good " Christian lady" and God will send him to you
---nia on 10/3/05


Part 1 of 6
Are you proactive in trying to find the right man? Try to select a Christian personals service that gives you a way to track who is viewing you and with an easy way to sent them thank you e-mail and a way to attach photos to the e-mail.
---phia4633 on 7/27/05


Part 2 of 6
Writing a good profile is as important as writing a good resume; have a number of high quality photos. Before you compose you profile look at the profiles of other women on the service you select; chose ones who get a lot of views see how they presented them selves in each narrative category the word picture is important as the photo. Print a few of the best one for reference.
---phia4633 on 7/27/05


Part 3 of 6
Write yours topics off line in a word processor for each category, spell check and grammar check it have some one you trust and is a good proof reader look at your entries and critique them; make you changes and paste you entries into the matching service entry categories . After your completed profile is set it up print it and show it the same person for comments, tweak the profile as necessary.
---phia4633 on 7/27/05


Part 4 of 6
Write a letter shell on a word processor for a "Thank you for viewing my profile e-mail" attach a high quality photo of you self not in your online profile and send it to each legitimate viewer. A second contact percentage in response to thank you e-mails will likely run from 3 - 7% from my experience.
---phia4633 on 7/27/05




Part 5 of 6
Once you have found some contacts that you really like and have done some extended communication online or telephonically; spend the bucks to run a background check there are services on the Internet. Lets face it there are predators in cyber space.
---phia4633 on 7/27/05


Part 6 of 6
The background check will not tell you everything but numerous relocation history, arrest history, financial problems are good leading indicators in Bad Actor identification. A total lack of history on a background check is also a Red Flag. And don't be scared to initiate your own contacts this is marketing and you are the product. Good Luck but be careful.
---phia4633 on 7/27/05


Oh and if God didn't want us to get married he would not have given Adam a mate and blessed marriage. There is nothing wrong with desiring a mate, the question is. If the Lord does give us one are we going to take our vows serious enough that we honour them even when things aren't going as well as expected cuz everyone goes through stuff. We don't always get what we desire in this life, the bible says the Lord will give us the desires of our heart, not ALL of them.
---mark585 on 7/18/05


Also just because there is a shortage of men don't mean it's the Lord will. I use to think that everything that happens was the will of God or say oh God will fix it but that's not always the case. You can wait but you have to accept the fact that you might not get married & it's not cuz it's God's will, we all hav choices. It was not God's will for king Saul & his son to die how they died but that's the path they choose, just like how many have chosen to either reject the mercies of God or play church.
---mark585 on 7/18/05


Oh please forgive me guys but after reading, to be honest I found some of the response a bit amusing. First of all if we are to be honest, there are a shortage of men in the church. Then there are a shortage of "godly" men too, but there are also a shortage of godly women. A lot of women that I have met are willing to compromise to get a man and keep a man, while a lot of men in the church love to play games.
---mark585 on 7/18/05


Be the right woman. Of course, that doesn't gaurantee that he will realize what he's got and stick around. But following Christ, and serving the people around you is much more endearing to a guy than acting like every man you see is a potential hubby.. They run like crazy if they think you are after that.
---Julie on 7/16/05


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Conna, I tell you not to give up your faith in God. I prayed to God for the kind of husband I was looking for. God DID bring such a man and I together. We have been married now for 9 years. There is no dout that God put us together. God can do it for you too! Be willing for God to choise him for you. Don't close doors God opens. Consider getting to know the one God brings. You will know when it is the right one. God will let you know....Praise Him.
---Linda3939 on 7/16/05


Conna, there's no such thing as "the right one", only the one you choose. You can choose a good or a bad one for yourself, though. You should certainly not sit there waiting for God to drop him into your hands- you have to make a little effort. Don't obsess about it, but do look. The churches are overflowing with such men. Just remember nobody is ever going to have all the traits you'd like.
---Billy on 7/16/05


Rather than being fixated on finding "a good Christian man", isn't it better to be focused on being discipled by the Lord Jesus? Believe me, my dear, if God wants you to be married (evenly yoked), you WILL find that man. Meanwhile you have the will of the Lord to accomplish. As for me, I've had both, but enjoy singleness over marriage; however, many believe there is nothing more wonderful than marriage. Perhaps.
---Elsie on 7/16/05


It's not hard to find a good Christian man. The churches are full of us. The problem is that a growing number of us have had enough. We have been cheated on, lied to, taken advantage of, and generally been used by "Christian" women. Paul wrote to men that if they were to become single, stay single, and many of us men are heeding his wise counsel.
---ralph7477 on 7/15/05


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One day I was so mad at myself..all my life I've looked for the next boyfriend or the next husband!I said"Lord,I always thought some guy "hung the moon!"And I heard that 'small still voice'say,"I really DID HANG THE MOON!" I rejoice that I am in love with the one who really hung the moon and will be there for me ALWAYS.He knows that I (like Adam)want someone "like me"& will bring us together at just the right time.
---lovable_linda on 7/15/05


Keep your head up and remember God has a plans for us to prosper and not let harm come to us. God has hope and a future for us. I am in the same predictiment but I do know my peace and joy is more important than settling. It is a struggle but the only answer is God. Thank you for posting that you encouraged me along the way.
---latra9364 on 7/15/05


Conna the right one is the one you choose.

He never stops being the right one, even when he's all wrong here and there you made him a promise before God and therefore will always be the right one.

What I'm trying to say is that it's easy to buy into a cinderalla glass slipper idea, focus on a minor flaws and miss a keeper.

Make a marriage based on commitment, trust, and a mutual love for one another, anything else is a pile of broken expectations.
---Pharisee on 7/15/05


The Bible says, And the Lord God says it is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a helpmeet for him Gen 2:18, continue to wait on the Lord. He wil answer you
---Delores on 7/15/05


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This may not sound like the help you need...but often when you stop looking is when the right one shows up. Live your life as if you don't need a man...because you really don't. All you need is God and when you put Him first, He will supply your every need.
---Maha on 7/15/05


cont. from before
While dating, always keep updating your list.
Observe how he treat other people, other members of the family, Find out how he handels money (crc debt). Find out about his health (ment/phy/spiriual)
Allow 2-3 yrs. Don't waste time on obvious loosers! Neither will get everything on the list! Finally, always be willing to be(come)
the other wished for and deserves!
---Pierr7958 on 7/15/05


Cona & Co.
This to everyone who is looking for right person for the first time or not.
First don't wait on the Lord to send you the right person!
You make a descriptive list of all the qualities, character traits you would like to see in a partner and then go out and look AND ASK GOD TO BLESS YOUR SEARCH. Ex: Faith, Nationality, Age, Education, Profession, Hobbies etc.When you meet a potential partner and start dating, find out as much as you about him/her and compare to your list. (to be cont)
---Pierr7958 on 7/15/05


You've taken the issue out of the only Hands that matter by even asking this (I've done the same myself on more than one occasion and speak from experience). The only thing that matters is what God has in store for you. Keep in mind, though, (and I know this answer isn't popular) not everyone is meant to marry-God chooses some people to remain single so they can successfully complete His plan for them. To pray about something and continue to worry over it afterwards defeats the entire purpose of praying.
---Heather on 7/15/05


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Look, I know it is hard waiting, but it is for the best. I am now engaged to a great guy, but I had to wait for a while for God to send him to me. The best advise I can give is to not worry about it and let go of the thought "When am I going to find the right one", because as soon as you let go and just start living for God and serving Him
everything will fall into place. I will be praying that sends you the right man and while you are waiting just serve God to the fullest.
---becky9739 on 7/15/05


I too have struggled with this issue. The answer is to seek a deeper relationship with God. You may or may not get maried, but your life will be full & interesting, because He has so many good things to enjoy.
---jan on 7/15/05


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