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Is Fornication Showing My Love

I love a girl who loved a guy, had sex and had an abortion. Then she loved another guy and had sex with him almost daily. She loves GOD and wants to marry me. I had sex with her to tell her I love beyond her past. I think she spoiled me but she loves me like mad and says I'm the last man in her life. Should I believe her?

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 ---john on 7/19/05
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John:-a lot of water has flowed in between the arches of that bridge. If you are still around How would you like to tell us what transpired from that episode as the World turns or The Young and Restless.Did you learn a lesson or Taught Her one.
---Mic on 11/13/08


To Whosoever has an ear to hear?

We're not to put our trust in man but are to try all things in the Spirit, that come through man, for the discernment to understand God's Will in the matter.

In order to receive only the true Word of the Lord, we are to look upon one another with compassion, mercy & love. Trusting that God will continue the good work that He has begun in us, knowing that despite what others may do or think, God will work all things for the good of those that love Him.
---Shawn_M.T. on 11/13/08


John.John.John! My heart feels for you. You must be very young or very dumb.Please pull your tongue back into your mouth and put on your thinking cap. You need to seek the Lord for wisdom and knowledge,quick! You will surely be eaten up and taken full advantge of by women, if you don't learn wisdom. Or just plain common sense.
You are also at risk for Aids,Herpes and every evil disease that is floating out there in the world. Have you thought about that,also?Another thing: this woman may know God but God,definitely does not know her. This is a witch looking to cast her evil spell.The pot is hot and boiling. Just waiting for someone like you.
My prayers are with you
---Robyn on 9/9/08


Get to know a really Christian couple who makes their marriage work. And see what love really is. I'll offer you can discover that in the beauty and pleasantness of the Holy Spirit the really intimate relating is way beyond just sexual sharing...so better than humans of this world and even a number of Christians know marriage to be. But in my case, certain ladies apparently get drawn to me because they find me to be nice and charming, like worked in my father's womanizing > I need to make sure I'm not helping his evil spirit of foolishness stay around. I need to get real much more, so I can connect the right way with a real lady of Jesus if God wants...maybe one I already know.
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/8/08


John:The words you use here need reevaluation by you alone.Your description of love lies in Lust.This is temporary and will to quote a phrase 'links of lust will Rust and sever Find true links of Love which lasts forever".
---MIC on 9/8/08




The word of god teaches us that a christian should marry only a christian. are you born again? If you are born again make sure that the girl you love is also born again and pray harder so that the lord will show you if you can marry this girl or not. forget about your love for her. Love is not the only reason for marriage . The will of God is also very important for it for mariage is a very important in the life of a christian. You can not divorce. if you marry thr wrong girl you can not abandon her so look out and look for the will of God for your life!May the Lord help you to solve this problem.
---herve on 9/8/08


No. Look at her track record. Seems to be evidence of instablities that need to be dealt with before marriage can even be considered. Marriage at this time would be a big mistake.
---anon on 9/6/08


It is not love to lead someone into sin.
---Greyrider on 11/6/07


Read Corinthians 6: 9-11


Another thing to add...


Let one without sin, cast the first stone. Hmmmmm
---Leo on 11/6/07


no, she is beach..don't brlive her!!!
---geo on 9/30/07




love fornication----u must love hell. No fornicator shall inherit the kingdom of God.
---r.w. on 7/3/06


You should break up with her. Repent and ask God to save you. If you have already believed in Jesus as your saviour, confess your sin to God and turn away from doing it again. God is love. If you want real love, you need to be right with God. It is more than likely the girl will continue her lifestyle. She has no idea what real love is, and neither do you.
---Ulrika on 10/15/05


Who are you kidding, (or deceiving)? Sex to us men is from the neck up. Unless controlled, we can have sex with any female. If this wasn't true, why do you think prostitution is so popular? Having sex does not indicate love. As far as she is concerned, she has a real image problem and until she can get that solved, don't count on her being without sex - that's what she uses to help her image. If she loves God, than she knows fornication is not pleasing to God.
---WIVV on 10/15/05


You both need God's guidance in your life. I will be honest this is wrong and you both you it. Please pray for this situation I will be praying for you. Just stop having sex with her please for you sake and her. God Bless
---Zandile on 7/20/05


The world says, sex is love. But the Bible says, cherishing or caring is love. Even wild beasts can coit without any feelings of care. If you both love each other, then take each others hands and bow and close your eyes and pray to the Lord asking him to forgive you both for engaging in sex out of wedlock. Ask for healing in Jesus' name, and for him to help you both stay clothed until marriage. And begin caring for each other by keeping your clothes on, and waiting until after marriage to consummate.
---Eloy on 7/20/05


john, You both sound young. This whole relationship is starting out wrong from God's point of view. Of course you can't trust her feelings. She really doesn't know what love is yet. If you persue this you could get hurt bad. I know you posted this blog for a reason. Listen to God and surrender your life to Jesus. He could have someone for you that won't break your heart. I pray for you both.
---John on 7/19/05


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What country and what religion are you? This question is over the top.
---Suzy on 7/19/05


John:The saying here is" To err is human to
forgive is divine" you seem to show contrition & compassion some of the greatest defaulters have changed by God's grace if you are Both genuinely remorseful seek his mercy But have the moral fortitude to stick with the program of sincerity & Love. God forgives those who are contritely sorry.I shall not cast a stone. God be with you & the lady who says she loves GOD.
---Emcee on 7/19/05


Brother Elder, thank you for writing down what you did. I am also glad that you didn't put down what you wanted to put down. This will do great. The questions that come on line just blow me away.
---lupe2618 on 7/19/05


Right Alan,having sex with this woman just adds to her problems, and will eventially make her feel used not loved.
She has been used before.

Did she feel loved when someone got her pregnant and then she had an abortion?

I'm sure she'd like to think you will be the last man in her life,not likely at the rate you're going.

If you REALLY love her,show her by both of you staying pure and get a joint relationship going with God! Whether you can believe her or not will be evident then!
---NVBarbara on 7/19/05


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I will go further ... having sex with her is not even A way of saying you love her.
---Alan8869_of_UK on 7/19/05


If you can read and have access to a Bible, look in the concordance for how many times fornication is condemned. Since all sin can be forgiven us>except for blasphemy against the Holy Spirit> this will not be held to your account...if you repent and seek God's will rather than your own.You need to go to Him..ask for wisdom and forgiveness.
---rebecca on 7/19/05


Having sex is not the best way of showing her you love her. It is a way of showing that you "want" her physically ... that is lust, not love.
She is probably craving love, but you are not giving it to her. Nor is she giving it to her.
Love at this stage should be affection, concern for each other, little presents, praying for and with each other.
---Alan8869_of_UK on 7/19/05


Love! Did you say love?
You validated her lifestyle and fulfilled your lust and then call it love.
I'm sure she does love god and her god is sex.
It is time for both of you to stop making excuses and turn to the Lord.
If you really loved her you would not have had sex with her.
If either of you loved the Lord as much as you love yourselves neither of you would be involved in this sin.
If this answer disturbs you too bad this is the kinder version of what I was going to counsel.
---Elder on 7/19/05


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I agree with Bruce, you two have to have an appointment with a christian counsellor!
Bless you!
---Ilga on 7/19/05


Our pastor has it summed up in this sentence: "Sin separates you from God." Consider this the next time you are tempted.
---Nan on 7/19/05


Some of these questions that come on here about sex before marriage that just blows me away. I can't believe some of the questions on here and the one asking it thinks it is ok to do it even if they believe in god. what gets me is the ones that claim to be christian and they do this stuff knowing it is wrong I know we all sin but come on.Then they ask the question after they have done it knowing that isn't the right thing to do. I am so glad that my husband before we got married loved me for me no sex.
---debbie23453 on 7/19/05


You don't have sex with someone just to show you love them. No she can't love you if she has been with other guys, then back to you. You both need to grow up and hopefully God will convict you both of your sins.
---Rebecca_D on 7/19/05


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From experience sex outside of marriage causes more confusion. I am not condemning you but single life is confusing enough without complicating with sex... you have to decide if your feelings are lust or love and most of the time it's just lust or the electric you feel for a new person in your life. So search God on the matter..He knows what's best. Since you already slept with her, I would suggest NOT doing it again and instead making out...pray with her.
---Auror3743 on 7/19/05


Hi:Here's some advice from a Mom. If you love this girl and she loves you, find a church together and make friends with one of the pastors who seems good with young people.Both of you believe in God and that is a start. Sex outside marriage confuses things, so stop.You both need to find strength and support for your relationship as well as proper direction and then God will bless your relationship and it will bloom.
---Joan on 7/19/05


The first thing that hit me about your question is that it is all about her. When sex becomes part of the equation before the true feelings are established, it becomes very hard to differentiate what the relationship is all about. I too love God(more than anything in this world), but have found it impossible to see his vision when I allow my life and mind to be polluted with human desires. My advice would be to take a break. Spend sometime reading the Word. Ask God for guidance and don't look back.
---Michelle on 7/19/05


PART ONE:
John,
You say she loves God. Is this a new development? Has she become a Christian? Are you a Christian? Your behavior indicates otherwise.

1 Corinthians 6:9, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither FORNICATORS, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,"
---Bruce5656 on 7/19/05


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PART TWO:
First things first. If you want a fulfilling life, stable marriage and, MOST importantly an eternity in Heaven, you need to establish a relationship with your creator first and foremost. You need to accept Christ as your savior and dedicate your life (including your relationships) to him. Her behavior with the previous two men, and now you, indicates that she also needs to get her spiritual life in order.
---Bruce5656 on 7/19/05


PART THREE:
Second, your question demonstrates that neither of you have a true concept of what love is. It is not something that can be demonstrated through sinful behavior (premarital sex). That is simply lust and when indulged in out side of marriage, it is called fornication.

Once you have established a relationship with God, through Jesus, you are then ready to consider your relationship with others.
---Bruce5656 on 7/19/05


PART THREE:
Learn what the bible has to say about the subject and use it as your blueprint for relationships with others including a spouse.

I believe, given her pattern of behavior, that she needs counseling. She needs to understand that while sex will get you a lot of things, it is NOT the path to a stable life long commitment.
---Bruce5656 on 7/19/05


PART FOUR:
Even if you are both Christians now, and are not having sex together any longer you both need to seek out a good Christian counselor that can help you through the issues that ARE going to be there a baggage from her previous lifestyle.
---Bruce5656 on 7/19/05


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Ok, so instead of respecting her as a women like GOD expects you to, you slept with her, using her like the guys in her past did? Maybe it would of shown more if you had RESPECTED her enough to say no, and had respected youraelf enough to do so as well. You do not show love through sex!
---Zoe on 7/19/05


Basic answer: no! Not so much because she doesn't love you, but because she needs professional help. A female who has had that much sex out of wed-lock tells me something is wrong. Sex to a male is from the head up, and really doesn't mean that much in emotional content, but to a female it's more of a total committment. The fact she has done this so much in the past indicates something is wrong.
---Ray on 7/19/05


Unfortunately, you are both entering into sin by commiting fornication. The best way to show her you love her is to respect her by not having sex with her. Give her friendship/heart and the rest after marriage. Remember this a true friend is someone you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to and it does not change the way they feel about you or visa versa. Never use what you know about someone to exploit them. Instead give them God's unconditional love and understanding and pray for them.
---Kathy on 7/19/05


john, i pray that i am right but i think this relationship will not last. it may be just infatuation from both sides and a girl of this calibre should not be taken seriously. sooner or later you too will queue up behind the other two if she finds someone better. move away from her before you get hurt.
---olive on 7/19/05


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No, you mustn't believe her unless she truly repents!!!Think about it: no one can serve two masters. No one! You write she had sex without marriage...so she serves the flash which is in contradiction with God's will and the serving God.And what about you?You seem to be alike.Pls, think and repent first of all.God bless you both.
---el on 7/19/05


Reread your question and then see what the Bible says.
---Steven_Wilkey on 7/19/05


For what she is doing is sin and what you two are doing is a sin. I truly hope she has asked god for his forgiveness for what she has done. To show love is not to have sex with a person to show her that you love her beyond her past that doesn't make sense at all. You can't tell me that you don't know that having sex before marriage is wrong. Well she has a funny way of loving God I can tell you that. I think you both need to ask for his forgiveness for what you are doing.
---debbie23453 on 7/19/05


Neither of you seem to have a clue about LOVE! Frankly you should not see eachother because you are not helping eachother. Until you learn about LOVE independantly you are making it impossible for the Lord to bless you!
---Pierr7958 on 7/19/05


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What a very strange question. Are you winding us up? You surely know what people are going to say to you about this. Read your bible, especially those places that speak of sexual sin. The words 'love' and 'sex' are not always interchangeable you know.
---F.F. on 7/19/05


I agree with you on one point-loving her beyond her past. And it is good that she wants commitment. But I don't see why you do the same thing the other guys did even when it endangered her life.
The other thing we, as Christ's disciples, should keep in mind is that sex should be experienced within marriage. Tig
---tigia on 7/19/05


What makes you think you are the last? Sorry, there is a pattern here.

Repent of your sin, and do it no more. True love will wait until marriage - whether it be her, or someone else.
---Heidi on 7/19/05


John, Jesus died to give us new life. He did not come to condem but to save us from our sins. He is calling all of us out of darkness into His light. If anyone loves God, he will keep His commandments. Continue walking towards the Lord, pray and let Him guide you. There is a lot to learn. God will show you what to believe. "No"
---Linda3939 on 7/19/05


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Sex before marriage is a sin. If you have to have sex with some one to show them you love them then it's not love. Love goes beyond sex. You can show her you love her beyond her past without sex. God will show you the heart just wait on him.
---Amanda on 7/19/05


You had sex with her to show your love? Give me a break, sex is sex and love is love. IF I have sex with a lady of the night does that mean I love her?

An apple tree will not bare sour grapes, nither will a sour grape vine bare sweet apples.

The bible says ye shall know them by there fruits. Sounds like sour grapes to me from both of you.
---Rev_Herb on 7/19/05


John :How can one love God or the one that they want to marry , and live in sin. knowing that if either was to die while in the act of sex outside marriage that they would spend eternity in Hell . There's a difference between love and lust . When one is born aging all old things pass away , and become a new creation in Christ Jesus . Jesus tells us in the bible,if you love me you will obey my commandments .Please take this in the love and compassiopn of Jesus Christ . Pastor Danny
---Pastor_Danny on 7/19/05


A woman needs security, love and social acceptance, she also needs to satisfy her carnal needs too. Due to some reasons, possibly exploitation something happened which may have upset a persons virtue, but now the Lord has decided to amend her life and have brought you two together. Believe in her, trust her and marry her, do his BCOS U love her.
---Sam on 7/19/05


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