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How To Honor Family Members

Is an adult child supposed to honor and obey their parents, as a child of any age or marital status would? If yes, how can one honor both parents and spouse, when expectations differ?

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 ---tired on 7/27/05
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When the children are young I believe that the parents should put the needs of them before the needs of their spouse.
Older children should respect their parents because when they were small and helpless their parents put them first, when parents get old and helpless children should return the favor. Regarding your children, parents and spouse, you dont have to "divide" your love, love them all equeally.
---sue on 6/8/08

God first
Spouse (and self) second
children third (or tied for second)
then other family including parents
---Bruce5656 on 7/6/07

An adult child should always honor their parents, but not necessarily obey. If your parents and your spouse are disagreeing on many matters, it's time to sit them all down for a long talk. You can love and honor both, you don't need to be in the middle of a tug-of-war, it's too stressful.
---Fran on 7/28/05


Marriage always has precedence over paternal/maternal families, as now you are shepherds, priest/priestess over your own flock!

A good example is Abraham marrying Sarai, his half sister [before The Law]. Now bone of his bones, flesh of his flesh, i.e. one flesh yielding much fruit! No longer called his 'sister'!

The N.T. seems to address the husband/wife aspect more, once "traditional" marriage occurs, as heaven is now our 'home'.

---bob6749_[Elishama] on 7/28/05

Top Down!:Eph.6:1-4;

1) Obey parent's IN THE LORD, unsaved parents could intentionally cause harm.

2) Honouring parents may differ from obedience, when wrong &/or unsaved.

3) Obeying verses 1 & 2 gives long life & peace [contr. Matt.10:32-40]. Double honour for 'saved' parents. Saved children? Jn.12:26!

verse 4) Bottom Line seldom used!

Grown children know right from wrong!

Unequally yoked? [Lev.24;10-17 without God's Grace & Calvary]!

---bob6749_[Elishama] on 7/28/05

Parents come first when we are children. When we marry we have moved on to another stage of our lives and our spouse comes first. When we have children I believe spouse takes second place FOR A SEASON, although I know others will disagree. Regarding the original question though, we should still honour our parents but not to the point where doing this interferes in our marriage. The parents should honour the fact that their child now has a spouse who must come before them.
---Xanthi on 7/28/05

Parents should give their children roots and wings. After they leave home, the child should handle his/her own affairs and the parents should handle theirs. If they can be friends-that is good but neither owes the other all.
---chuck on 7/28/05

Scriptures say that a man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife. This cleaving should not be put in jeopardy by parents pulling on either the husband or wife and making them choose. Spouse comes before parents. You can honor your parents by telling them you love them, but you must meet your spouse's needs first.
---Madison on 7/27/05

Dear Tired,
You will wear yourself out trying to please both husband and parents.
When you marry and leave the home, you are out from under the athority of your parent and now under the athority of your husband. You should always honor and respect your parents for who they are. But, the athority over you now belongs to your husband.
Bruce said it well.
Enjoy your family.

---Linda3939 on 7/27/05

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