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Should I Take Dating Advice

I have been divorced for four years, and am currently not dating. My ex has remarried and moved on with his life. We communicate amicably most of the time because we have three kids. He occassionally gives me dating advice. Is this appropriate?

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 ---First_Wife on 7/28/05
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ADVICE from your husband now that he has married (is in a covenant with a new wife) is only as welcome as you make it. Does he feel guilty that he deserted you and remarried? That may be why he is trying to get you to date.
---Ramon on 12/6/07


Kay, I do not ask for his advice. It is totally unsolicited. Our children are grown, so they do not need a step-father. I find the advice uncomfortable given he was my husband for 25 years.
---First_Wife on 12/6/07


First, do you ask for his advice? Is his advice good? If you want it and it's given in good faith, why not. I would think he would want you to find a good mate to be co-parent to your children.
---kay3637 on 5/22/07


my husband has been gone since 98. I too don't date {to busy raising my kids}he use to tell me to get someone else cause he felt guilty.{he was unfaithful} He no longer even talks to his kids. I'm glad that you can talk to your EX, the fact that you ask here, makes me think you are not comfortable with his advice, tell him this if it is what YOU FEEL.
---Laure5469 on 7/29/05


Keeping a caretaker type relationship going isn't approprite.Standing on your own two feet helps you grow stronger in confidence of your own abilities. Need advice? Go to anyone but him.It sounds like though not married to you he still wants to maintain some control over your life.Keep an emotional distance from him,advice draws you back in.Besides what makes him an expert?You and God standing together don't need exhusband to guide you.You'd be better off praying about what to do and who you date.
---Darlene_1 on 7/29/05




Has his advice been helpful or condemning? He might be sharing "pitfalls" with you that he knows will harm you in the long run. He knows how men think and maybe he doesn't want you hurtanymore.
Examine his advice and if it is approbate and not against Bible Doctrine follow it.
If you got the same advice from your best friend would you follow it?
---Elder on 7/29/05


Even when people seemingly have moved on in some cases they may be giving you advice that suits them without concern for your need to move on.

If I were you I'd get a second or third opinion...were at your service here... (hint hint) and there will be no shortage of opinions on this web site.

God Bless you
---Z-Pharisee on 7/29/05


My ex used to do this, and it always seemed a bit heartless and insensitive to me, like rubbing my nose in the fact that she didn't love me anymore. Divorce hurts enough without pouring salt in the wounds. I don't think she meant it that way, but that's how it felt. I think it depends a lot on how you personally feel about this. If you're okay with it, and the advice is good, then take it. If his advice bothers you, ask him not to do it anymore.
---Billy on 7/28/05


My ex used to ask my kids if mom had found them a new daddy yet. With him it was just money...I didn't like it. If you want or don't want to date..it's your call. As for advice..he married you...so your dating skills must be ok..
---Sallie on 7/28/05


Ask youself, "why" is he giving me dating advice. Along with that question you need to ask yourself: 1. Does he have his own "game plan" in wanting to get me envolved? 2. Are the men he is suggesting, (assumming he is suggesting men you should date), like him? (That didn't work the first time, so why would it work now?) 3. Is he just feeling guilty because he has found someone? My first thought would be he has no business or right to give you dating suggestions.
---Ray on 7/28/05




I think it is up to you if you want to take his advice. If you feel uncomfortable doing this well then I think you need to tell him. If you have a good relatonship with him now I am sure he would want to see you happy.
---Michelle on 7/28/05


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