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Have I Missed Out In Life

I was told that a man you need to own a house and have your finances in order. Before getting married or considering it . I own a house now. I have never married like to. Have had friends got married off. Some are still married, a lot are not. I feel like I mist out in that part of life. Did I?

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 ---Wayne on 7/29/05
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Getting married should be easy for the male. Somewhat easy if he is not too picky. Most women want to marry. Find a nice Christian woman, date for a while and see if she is on the same page as yourself. If so--pray about it. When the time is right---propose to her.Proceed with your life.If you want to marry, you need to do so soon. How old are you anyway? You failed to say.
---Robyn on 10/25/07

Wayne, I am 49, have never married and never felt like I have missed anything. Most people in my office, many Christians, are on their second and third marriages. If you are not happy now there is reason to believe that you will be happy when you are married. I love my single life. I guess the big issue is if you want kids. There were only 26 people that responded to the happily married blog on this site. Tell you anything? Bless you in your journey.
---randy on 10/21/07

hi,why would u marry a man for a house anyway. marrage is about 2 people serving each other and loving thru christ.i am single and dont own a house and am not rich but if u want to be loved like christ loves his church then there are still alot of us out here. amen be blessed
---david on 3/30/07

If you felt you have missed out this is normal because in a sense you have. You wanted to have you together, very healthy. Missing out means that you were focused on what it was that would make you a better person financally etc. Girls have it the same way and we have to be Christian super models on top of that; but that seems to be what guys want (I missed that sermon!)...WHOOSH!
---joanna on 7/7/06

I think it is good to show that one is responsible in certain ways before taking on more responsibility. Both male and female. I understand how you feel and what some of the others have said. I know a lot of women that will not go out with a man inless he is financialy stable. I know a lot of men regardless of their age(58-59 & below), that want a 29-38 yr old attractive woman(or one who looks like it). No matter which way we go we are bound to miss out on something. Keep the faith.
---Alexandra on 4/12/06

Wayne, not sure if you still are single, but I read what you wrote and just want to say I feel the same regrets. It is nice to read a man's perspective on this subject. I had opportunities to marry and never felt like settling down. Now I think I should have. It actually seems that God prefers people to marry earlier, because "two are better than one." I wish I realized this earlier. Thanks for what you said.
---Barbara on 4/12/06

Not really. There are no concrete guidelines for getting married. It's a personal matter. Not sure who gave you the advice that you, "need to own a house and have your finances in order" before getting married. You've answered your own question in a way when you stated, "... and a lot are not." I was married 18 years before having a house, and it was my wife who got my finances in order. (Been married to her for 42 years.)
---WIVV on 8/24/05

I apologize for being so defensive toward men. I don't blame anyone but myself for my past. Everyone has been kind to me, and I appreciate it.
A friend suggested I love myself and others, before I can expect anyone to love me. That is definitely something I would appreciate your prayers on, because it doesn't come easy.
---U on 8/9/05

Wayne you have not missed out on anything. Steve, getting married in your twenties is not the answer either. I was married when I was 20 and it lasted 5 years. He was out messing around with a 16 yr old. I didn't marry again until I was 32 and its falling all to pieces as well. So Wayne take your time and let God bring the right person to you, don't just settle for the 1st person that pays you some attention. If you want to talk email me. Elaine
---Elaine on 8/8/05

No wayne I don't think you have missed out on anything. I believe God has some very special for you. Just wait and see.
---bethie on 8/8/05

Hello, U: I wanted to discuss with you on a one-on-one basis regarding your responses. Please email me. I like to be a friend.
---bebet3754 on 8/8/05

I don't normally bring up my past, for one thing I know the Lord has forgiven me.
One point I was trying to make is, it seems that christian men are looking the perfect woman. They want someone who is a perfect size, age, intellent, with no sins in her past. I wonder how many men can say that about themselves.
God who is perfect, is willing to forgive all who repent and believe in Jesus as their saviour.
---U on 8/7/05

Dear "U": Never give up! God loves you just as you are! I like what Billy says, believe it! The Lord loves you; He created you and He loves what He has created. No matter our faults or conditions; He is just to forgive us if we ask. If God wants you to get married, He will send you that special His time. Just pray and believe! I've been married for 25 years and single for 46 years; both situations have their blessings and their pitfalls. May the peace of Jesus be with you!
---Elsie on 8/7/05

Thanks Billy for reminding me that with God all things are possible.
It is the Lord's will for me that is important. Whether or not I meet a man and we care for eachother is up to the Lord. I am not going along with whatever a man wants just to make him love me anymore. I learned years ago that that doesn't work anyway.
From reading some of the posts, I get the feeling that most christian men would think they are too good for me.
---U on 8/6/05

U, you really can't say that. Don't give up hope, and don't give up on God. You don't know what the future may bring. Every desire of your heart is there for a reason, and God never plants to no purpose, nor does His word come back to Him void. Rest in Him, and keep looking. Blessings be with you.
---Billy on 8/5/05

I wanted a man to love and marry me. When I did marry at 23,the man only married me because I was pregnent. He left after 2 years. It was a unhappy marriage. It took 3 years of my getting more depressed, before I was in a psyche ward. After that I dated a man for 5 years and broke up with him. Now I am 47, I would still like to meet a man who would care about me but, it would not be fair for me to expect a man to be interested in a divorced, bipolar, saved woman.
---U on 8/4/05

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Steve, why do you have to think of what other people are saying? You need a wife? Yes? Now, it is YOU NEEDING A WIFE, not them! Think, it is your life you are living, not theirs! Your needs are different from theirs! Why do you have to put what they say in your path to obstruct you of fulfilling and solving your needs? Wake up, Brother! God bless you!
---Linda6546 on 8/4/05

, i'm just telling it like it is. a man has to go out there and find a wife. waiting for one just leaves him all by himself. i wish i had found one, but now they think i am too old.
---steve on 8/3/05

Good point Julie! I know what you mean. I was married, I enjoyed it. but now put myself out to be in the lives of the people I do have. I'm ma,& mom, to all the kids who don't seem to have any one else. I was a person who had all the kids over, but now have 2 jobs and can't do that any more. {my kids are college age} and not as many come over, but still "interact" with all ages in church.
---Laure5469 on 8/3/05

HEY Alan of UK Ouch! I am 40 and I don't think I look THAT bad!! And Wayne, if you are missing out on something, get involved in people's lives. That seems to be the cure. I have never married or had children, but when I get myself committed to others with kids I end up being Aunt Julie to a whole bunch more than my sister can produce! And you get to give em back!!! lol
---Julie3763 on 8/3/05

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Hello, Wayne: You have not missed anything in life. God bless you. Hi, Steve: From one blog to another, it is the issue of having wife that is chasing you! Now, kindly turn the table around. Start chasing for a wife. Good luck!
---Linda6546 on 8/3/05

Steve, I've never met you but going by what I've seen on this site, re your attitude and what you have to say, I don't think its your age that is preventing you from finding a good woman......
---lisa on 8/2/05

, okay, i may be picky about my future wife. but i am trying in all sincerity. pray for me to find the right one.
---steve on 8/2/05

Steve .... have you considered that if you had married in your 20s, your wife would now be 40 & unattractive?
---Alan8869_of_UK on 8/2/05

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Thank you for your reply Randy, yes there are alot of blogs on divorce. there is a lot of hurt people looking either to get help or maybe vent. some times it helps to get it all out in a safe place. then the healing can begin and go away.
---Laure5469 on 8/1/05

I think its time you got your screws tightened Steve/Curt.
You surely have a skewed idea about men and women. You used to come on and say you wanted to marry,but NOT have sex with your wife. Now you want someone from a totally different era for a wife, someone young enough to be your daughter! What on earth would you have in common? Get real! You're no kid, find someone close to your age or quit complaining about.
I attracted PLENTY of men at 40, just none I was interested in, mostly younger.
---NVBarbara on 8/1/05

, all i'm saying is, marry in your twenties, because if you wait as long as i waited, there won't be anyone else interested.
---steve on 8/1/05

Laure LOL, you are right I did not respond to the singleness blog. I will do better in the future. But I see so few good marriages, it is disheartening. At work, at church, my friends, my family, etc. You can see how many blogs here are about divorce. I think my point is if we are looking for marriage to make us happy and we are not already at peace with god then we wont be happy married either. BTW I am no catch.
---randy on 8/1/05

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To God be the glory steve have you had a change of heart? What if the poor 'super model is left abandoned, DIVORCED! and it is not her fault? Do you still hold onto your own personal viues?
---susanna on 7/30/05

, one of the sad facts of life is that women aren't interested in men over forty, until they are also over forty, and thus too old to attract most men.
---steve on 7/30/05

Wayne, you're still alive, aren't you? There are people who never married till their almost-elderly years, and who still found joy in it. If you would like to marry, then find a good woman that you love and get married, and be happy. Don't waste a second thought on the past. You can't change it anyway, and dwelling on it will only hinder you from finding happiness now. And any woman worth having won't give a fig about worldly things like money and status, so you shouldn't care about them either.
---Billy on 7/30/05

, many women today demand that men be well off financially, just as some men demand that their girlfriend be a supermodel. both attitudes are unchristian and unfit for marriage.
---steve on 7/29/05

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Life is too short to worry about the past. Do everything you can to make today the best you can and your tomorrow's will take care of themselves.
---DoryLory on 7/29/05

Randy there were only 11 for "the gift of singleness".{where was your name?} so does that mean there are twice as many happy marriages? I'm so sorry that you missed out on seeing a Godly marriage. In my opinion, you don't see because you don't WANT TOO. Even though my spouse was the one who broke our marriage, I beleive that our marriage was a blessing from God! I was not the one who walked away. I think if people didn't feel it was worth the effort they would have stopped marrying long ago.
---Laure5469 on 7/29/05

Don't dwell on negitive. no one with a positive aditude wants to be around that. God hears our prayers and answers in his right time. don't live with regret! be proud of what you have acomplished. God loves you and will give you the disires of your heart.
---Laure5469 on 7/29/05

God bless you for doing what you felt was the right thing!I think that at one time people felt women were not be able to get the home together and had to be provided for before marriage.If you feel you are missing out, you can always start today living your life. God gives us desires,some to marry, some are not. I think that if you meet the RIGHT person, they should appreciate the fact that you have made an effort to start a happy home. with out debt.
---Laure5469 on 7/29/05

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Hi, How are you, Im lorea. Well my opinion to what your asking is that its not really the literal things that you should own something before God will bless you in the desire of your heart. In the 2 thess 3:10 and 1 tim 5:8, what i understand to that scriptures is, its only asking us to be responsible and to take care of everything if we decide to be committed to anyone else.
---lorea5856 on 7/29/05

Wayne...whoever told you those lies did you a grave did miss out by allowing people instead of God to rule your heart and life...there is NO Scripture that tells us that a man has to own a home....the financial part is something all of us need to be doing and not just men...the man of my life for 20 years didn't own a home and we had such a heavenly marriage till his death 6 years ago...time for you to relax and enjoy life now and let God tell you what to do...
---fran6775 on 7/29/05

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