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Must I Stop The Adultery

He is married and a dedicated Christian but we love each other now for 3 years and been lovers for 9 months. Must I stop loving him.

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 ---erika on 8/1/05
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THe question you should ask yourself is, where is this relationship going? Can you trust a man or woman who would cheat on their spouse? And is he playing everyone a fool, by making them think he is a dedicated christian? God knows the truth in everyone's heart. What is the different between the forbidden love and forbidden fruit that Eve eat in the garden? I think you already know the answer, find someone who would be loyal to you.
---geraa7578 on 3/8/08


You used a paradox in your posting - "he is married and a dedicated christian" however he is committing adultery on his wife. It's very simple, he is not a dedicated christian, he is deceiving his wife and you should leave him immediately. If you ended up with him, think about the fact that if he did it to her he may do it to you. This "relationship" is built on lust and deception, not on Gods will. Leave him well alone - this man is not worth it!
---Maxine on 8/3/05


You know the answer...the question is:will you obey God's word?(See the scripture Bruce quoted.)I'll pray for you both.
---lovable_linda on 8/2/05


Adultery= sexual intimacy with someone other than the person you're married to. Fornication=sexual intimacy outside of marriage (whether one or both partners is married to someone else isn't an issue here). Both are going on in this question.
---Heather on 8/2/05


Pierre makes a good point. If Erica is already "saved" and is no longer "under the 10 Commandment law" then why is it wrong for her to commit adultry??? Maybe some should re-think these cheap grace concepts.
---jerry6593 on 8/2/05




Heather I don't understand your use of the words fornication and adultery. Could you explain the different in the context of the question?
---Kat on 8/2/05


You're missing two big Christian points. One, a dedicated Christian wouldn't be committing adultery and, two, you're being intimate with a man you're not m,arried to-that's known in the Bible as fornication. Granted, niether is an unpardonable sin, but niether pleases God, either. Think about that.
---Heather on 8/1/05


The bible will show you God's will for your situation. Adultery can not be made right with feelings of love. My marriage of 13 years was nearly destroyed because of a 2 year affair my husband had. The woman involved was convinced of her feelings and tried everything to destroy any chance of reconciliation he and I attempted. Our teenage daughter was affected. Please know that you also can not reap good from something that is against God's will. May God bless you to know the Truth.
---Shelly on 8/1/05


He is not a dedicated Christian if he has committing adultery. If you are dedicated to the Lord, you are dedicated to his principles. And he certainly is not dedicated to his wife or family. You are a homewrecker!!!!!
---Sally on 8/1/05


How can he be a dedicated christian and have an affair with you? How can he or you be a christian for that matter. You both are playing with fire. and you both should be ashamed of yourselves. Has it ever occured to you how the wife feels? You both need to find an alter quick.
---Rebecca_D on 8/1/05




Erika, before you ask that question,ask yourself this question..would you like your husband sleeping with another woman and saying he loves her? How would you feel when you found out? A leopard doesn't change its spots. If he's cheating on his wife, chances are even greater he'll cheat on you when and if you are the next wife. And he is not a dedicated christian. What does dedicated mean to you. He's not even dedicated to his wife. He doesnt know the meaning. He LOVES that he has 2 women to sleep with.
---lisa on 8/1/05


"Love??" I echo what most of the others have said, but I question the 'love' part.
How could you love or respect a man such as this, you have deluded yourself by the excitement of his attention.
How could this man know anything about love when he is setting his family up for disaster?
DEDICATED CHRISTIAN? If you are not a Christian, PLEASE don't judge us by this man!

Get away from him before many lives are ruined. Do you want to be in the middle of this when his wife catches on?
---NVBarbara on 8/1/05


Stop commiting adultery. You know the answer already. Do not period. make things right with God as soon as possible. Don't wait for the conscquences, they could be very strong.
---lupe2618 on 8/1/05


You've got to be kidding - how can a "dedicated Christian" committe adultery? The Bible condems such acts. The only reason for a divorce is for the other partner committing adultery - and even this was God's second choice. You may not be able to stop loving him, but you can, and must, stop committing adultry with him. (Read Matther, 19:7-9) There is no way, based on the Bible, can he have a sexual relation with anyone except his wife.
---Ray on 8/1/05


1 Corinthians 6:9, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,"
---Bruce5656 on 8/1/05


You surely know the answer, according to God!

But even if you leave out all Christian coimmandments, you must realise yuo are doing wrong ... you are causing him to betray his family.

Betray is an ugly word, and I make no apology for using it. Destroy is another one, and you are destroying his family and his childrens' lives.
---Alan8869_of_UK on 8/1/05


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You had better stop at the warning signs!
---linda3939 on 8/1/05


What you are experiencing is not LOVE but LUST. Yes you should put an end to it. Of course if you believe like some do that you are under grace and therefore you no longer need to worry about the commandment that says:"Though shall not committ adultery" then... NOT REALLY, THE LAW STILL STANDS and you should end the relationship.
---Pierr7958 on 8/1/05


Erika, you already know the answer to this. All of us are weak and fall into sin sometimes, but as Jesus said to another woman caught up in adultery, "Go and sin no more". If you truly love this man, then don't hurt him by destroying his marriage and corrupting his walk with God. Sometimes the things we must do for God and for those we love are very hard, my sister, but you have to ask yourself what matters most to you. To truly love him, or just to own him. God be with you both.
---Billy on 8/1/05


Dear Erika: Your "first love" should be Jesus Christ. Loving with an emotional, sinful lust is not God honoring. This ends in both you and your "lover's" destruction to say nothing of destroying another's life and family. Do you really want to dishonor yourself in the eyes of Lord? I don't know about you but that would scare the bejeebers out of me. God didn't set up these rules (laws) to make life miserable for us but to SAVE US FROM OURSELVES. Obey the Lord!!
---Elsie on 8/1/05


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No, you don't have to stop loving him. You can be out of the will of God and sin in your relationship with him. You can wreck his marriage and destroy his family. But, you don't have to stop loving him. More importantly, you can destroy your relationship wtih God and live in defiant disobedience of God's Word, but you don't have to stop loving him. You have choices. Sin or obey God. Those are your choices. Which do you choose?
---Madison on 8/1/05


The words - he is married and a dedicated Christian don't match the word lovers. It does sound like adultery is the new word.
And repent is Leon's new word.
The additional thought is why did you change the love from Christian brother - sister love to a dirty love of lovers. To love a married man that is not your husband is sin.
---Barbara67 on 8/1/05


The day that married man started an affair with you was the day he quit being a Christian.He may go through the motions but he lost his relationship with God when he chose you first.Adultry is sin and to continue while setting in church hearing it's sin leaves no doubt he didn't care he was sinning against God .You, dear,are a thief,stealing affection from another's husband.Set your life right with Christ and let Him bring you a good man.You deserve better.
---Darlene_1 on 8/1/05


Do you love him if you are going to hurt his family and destroy his children?

Does he love them if he's doing this to them?

Let's let logic progress, could he possibly love you if he's kept you as a dirty secret this long?

There's NO LOVE in this man, leave him FAST!
---Pharisee on 8/1/05


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Repent!!! (Matt. 4:17; 9:13...)
---Leon on 8/1/05


Dear Erica you must know as a christian that adultry is not permissible in God's eyes it shall only bring you pain .I do not judge i truly feel for you because we humain often let our heart rule and this is why we get hurt but this gentleman should know better than to keep this going he shall not only destroy your life but also his wife and if they have children it also will tear this family so it is alot to deal with do you really want all that guilt on your shoulder my dear sister in christ.carme4389
---Carme on 8/1/05


He may once have been a dedicated christian, but now he is living in sin and seems dedicated to destroy his own family. How can you possibly ask such a question? If I were you, I would get on my knees and pray for salvation and forgiveness. If I had to I would pray all night and day. God help you.
---shira_5965 on 8/1/05


reply to erica from susanna pt2
There is only pain for everyone concerned to come out of this.
I do not condemn you because i can clearly see you are not happy and at peace about this situation, i am concerned for you and will pray for you.
---susanna on 8/1/05


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Erica, his actions prove that he is not a dedicated christian, remove yourself far from him, seek the face of God who will help you and be mercyful to you. You have got yourself into a trap and need deliverence, i know just how you feel and it is unlikly that you will be able to stop loving him, this will be a process of time, but if you carry on seing him you will forfit your salvation,destroy a marriage and yourself.
---susanna on 8/1/05


You MUST stop loving him NOW....you are both in adultery and according to Scripture that is wrong....you know better than to mess with someone's marriage....the way I see it he is NOT a dedicated Christian to be doing this to his wife and family and sinning before the Lord....time for both of you to do a reality check here...
---fran6775 on 8/1/05


Both of you are living in sin . To be a christian is to be Christ like . And Christ was sinless . If both of you were to died while in the act of sex , both of you will spend eternity in the Lake of fire . If he is having sex with you while he is married ,then he will do it to you when you are married to you . Think " Pastor Danny
---Pastor_Dany on 8/1/05


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