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Tell About Your Nasty Past

I'm yet to meet my soulmate who I believe is somewhere being decorated by God for me. But before then, I was just wondering if it would be wise to narrate your past (nasty) life to your partner, if eventually he asks. Or would it be counted as a sin if you reserve the nasty part?

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 ---Debba7385 on 8/2/05
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Sweet Hart, When your soulmate enters your life you will be so comfortable with him and he will be so comfortable with you that you will each tell each other about you past and he will Love you more for it. He will love you the same way Christ loves you. Don't rush it let it happen on it own though.
---Marcia on 7/9/07


Don't worry about the past. The past is the past. what would it matter? We all have a past, I don't care what happened in my husband's past, because that is the past, and vice versa. If you dwell on the past it is going to hinder your life.
---Rebecca_D on 7/9/07


Better to be honest than for him to find out from your family or friends later. And, believe me, the truth always comes out. You don't have to be graphic. But, you must be honest.
---Sally on 8/5/05


Spouses deserve to know the truth, but please leave out details.

My husband told me, because I asked. It's caused much pain, but for him to lie would be much worse.

I remind myself he did these things before his baptism, and before we met. The fact that he has come to God with this sin, and has been truthful with me tells me he is sincerely sorry for what he did.

Even though it hurts, it's a struggle you can get through together, with God in the middle. It takes time, though.
---Heather on 8/3/05


, it is best to tell everything, so you won't have to feel like you're living a lie. and believe me, i have much to tell that i regret, alcoholism, wild living, etc.
---steve on 8/3/05




Because people come and go in life, it is better for the person to hear from you rather than find letters, photos, hear from others what you should have shared. Yes, the past is the past but we sometimes have to endure the consquences of past behavior forgiven or not. Ask God for the opportunity and to go before you and orchestrate the time and place. Keeping secrets is never a good thing, you compromise the trust issue, which is key to a relationship. God Bless
---irekei on 8/3/05


I told, when it was the right man and time. If you hold things back, I am finding in any situation, the accuser works at making you feel that you are hiding something. If it is the right situation, person, whatever, it is safe to tell and you recieve acceptance and comfort. Let God let you know.
---Julie3763 on 8/3/05


Debba ... I bet you nasty past is not all that bad.
---Alan8869_of_UK on 8/2/05


Walter,
I always say that honesty is best, but you need to ask yourself..."Is it relevent? Do I need to tell her about this?"
If you feel it's relevent then sometimes, you can put it like... "I've had kind of a promiscuous lifestyle in the past, but God's forgiven me and I've put it behind me. I'm not that person anymore." ... that might be good enough.
What exactly is it that you want to tell her (when she comes along)?
Write to me if you want.
Later,
Tanya
---Tanya on 8/2/05


I don't know if you ever heard this, but sometimes "ignorance is bliss." In other words, what you don't know can't hurt you. I don't see any reason to be totally SPECIFIC regarding past behavior, unless it becomes a threat to your/his well-being.
---Walter on 8/2/05




My husband and I talked about everything we believed could effect the other person if they found out about it afterwards...hurts...
My husband had a gay lifestyle in his past. I'm glad that he told me about it.
I Broke up another marriage because of my selfishness. And was unfaithful to my husband at that time.
My Now, husband was glad that I told him.

We can leave the past in the past. Look to God who has given us new life in Him.
---Unknown on 8/2/05


Both approaches have been taken. Telling and not telling. However, it seems the not tellers have friends that come back into their lives everyso often. Then the past has to explained.
But the tellers, seem to occasionally have it thrown in their faces every time there is an argument.
The choice is yours. Honesty in either case seems to be the best policy.
---barbara67 on 8/2/05


If he really loves you, he won't hold your past against you, no matter how bad it may have been. That's not who you are NOW, and the person you are now is what matters. If you found a man you really loved, would it make any difference to you what kind of sins he'd committed in the past, as long as he'd sincerely repented?
---Billy on 8/2/05


Our past makes us who we are. If we forget that then we are forgetting who we are. That person is dead in Christ but we can't be afraid of our testimony. If I can't tell you about me. How I came out a sexual relationship and then made the choice of purity, then how can I minister to anyones needs. Where were were only strengths our witness because we were there and then by the grace of God were brought to this point. Hiding it won't change where we all once were and w/true love comes true forgiveness.
---Auror3743 on 8/2/05


First of all, we are to be lead by the Holy Spirit in everything we do. God knows what your intended needs to hear. God does not want us to lie about anything, and not telling something that could cause problems later on would be damaging, and that would be a sin. Begin now, before you meet that "soulmate" to ask the Holy Spirit to help you know what to say and how to behave when you meet your future husband/wife.
---Lisa on 8/2/05


To tell or not is a double edged sword. If you say tell "tell", the next thing is WHEN in the relationship..ie first date..when you are asked to marry. When words and tempers fly, this will come up in a most negative way hurting both of you.
"Do not tell" means you will fear the day the past is lived all over again as it is revealed by a friend, enemy or family member. Love must be strong to conquer this and we all face it in all relationships.
Ask God for Guidance in prayer.
---chuck on 8/2/05


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Counted as a secret if you don't tell past. Going into relationships with secrets is not good. Need honesty and trust to make a relationship work. I was dating a guy who did not tell past. I was engaged to him when a (man) from his past came along. found out he had and still was gay. Honesty can go a long way in a relationship. bad pasts do not break the relationship up. Secrets do. the past is the past, but being dishonest about it is wrong. Someone who wants a life with you has a right to know.
---Shaz on 8/2/05


Your past is history ,unless you are a history teacher who feels compelled to tell everything you know ,keep it to yourself.There's no good in digging it up,pulls a person trying to live right down,so why do you think it would serve any useful purpose to tell your matetobe?If you have asked God for forgiveness those sins are covered by Christs blood ,He never remembers them again.Follow Christ's example.In Christ old things have passed away,all things become new.You're a new creature in Christ.
---Darlene_1 on 8/2/05


i believe that if you ask God to forgive your sins you are forgiven and cleansed. if you have started a new life with god your past should not matter. if in the future your future husband asks questions you can answer him honestly about your past but you dont need to give him details. he as a christian should embrace the forgiveness god gave you. i hope you too can embrace the forgiveness god so graciously gives us all.
---andre3859 on 8/2/05


I would want to know everything about someone that I was planning to have relationship with. Good and bad.
For example my ex husband decided not to tell me that in past he had a drink/drug prob. It effected many parts of marraige and if I would have known could have saved much pain. I look for honesty in relationship and I know if someone can tell me the bad past then they trust me and we can have an honest relationship with good communication in it.
---Marla on 8/2/05


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