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How To Make A Man Change

I have been with a man for three years and he has been very bad and doesn't change. What do I do?

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 ---olivia on 8/6/05
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Olivia, we cannot change anyone, only Almighty God has the power to change someone. God has to get hold of a person's heart. He is our Creator, we are only the creatures. Since God did create us, He knows us better than we know ourselves. Read Psalms 139.
---Cynthia on 9/6/07


It doesn't sound like you're married, so maybe now is a good time to get out of the relationship. As much as we may want to we can't make a person change. They can harken unto God and with His help make changes... that's the only way. So pray for your loved one's salvation, pray that he be touched by God's loving kindness, and remove yourself from the situation. God wants us to fellowship with the godly.
---Missy on 9/6/07


Well pray for him. But Only God can change people. God bless you.
---Bernie on 4/23/07


I am assuming he is a christian. If he is not, pray for his salvation. If he is a christian, still pray for him. Do not bother him about his actions anymore. Just go to the Father with your concerns. Ask God to help you show him the love of God by being more loving and kind to him. Your actions and prayers will change him. He will begin to experience the love of God in you and this will lead to him wanting to change. Then, God will do the rest. Joy9988
---Joy9988 on 4/22/07


Not enough space here to discuss it. Junia 6337.
It depends what he has done? Read Boundaries by Dr. J. Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud.
---Junia on 4/22/07




Not enough space here to discuss it. Junia 6337.
It depends what he has done? Read Bondaries by Dr. J. Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud.
---Junia on 4/22/07


God does not want us too live in uncomfortable situations. If the foundation for the relationship was not based upon strong moral values and convictions it will probably not last. Change is possible but only if your partner is willing to make that decision. Put yourself around positive people. You deserve the Best that Life has to offer. Don't settle for Less Than The Kingdom of God. Good Things Come To Those Who Wait!!!
---Apria on 4/12/07


Dear Christians, why attack this person? Perhaps unsaved people reach out on here and what do they get - JUDGEMENT - as if that will draw them to Christ, take off your legalistic robes and remember that Jesus spent time with sinners, that is who we should show love to. Maybe this person doesn't know what is "right" in Gods eyes. Ease up!
---Maxine on 8/11/05


What I have been told is the only time you can change a man is when he's still in diapers and is in need of a change...after that apart from a work of God, You cant do it.
---kirk3998 on 8/9/05


what do you mean "been with this man"? Why don't you use a little common sense. After all this is a christian site and you should anticipate how christians will respond to this. negatively. I will pray for you and I don't mean to be ugly, but you need to leave and get on your knees and ask God to save you.
---shira_5965 on 8/7/05




What are you doing living with a man anyhow? Your best bet is to leave right now.
If you think you can change him, forget it. Cut your loss and move on. On second thought, maybe you can't. If there are children envoled, it's becomes a legal matter - so suggest you get some advice for a religable source. If you can't afford a lawyer, you can go to legal aid. Just ask yourself, "I'm I better off with him or with him?" Still suggest you leave!
---WIVV on 8/6/05


Well, if he gives you a $20 bill, give him back two 5's and a 10....that's the only way you're going to make a man change. Otherwise, there's nothing you can do to make him any different than he is. It's up to him to decide if he wants to change or not. All you can do is pray for him. If you're not married to him, and you're not happy, then leave. If you're married, & he's abusive, don't stay and take it. God does not want you staying with someone who is bad to you. Pray, pray, pray....
---Ann5758 on 8/6/05


Decide if you can put up with him. I have been married for 18 years, much of that time spent waiting, hoping, praying for my husband to change. We are still married but live very much like separate people separate interests, friends, rooms, etc. and I am not happy with him.
---Annie on 8/6/05


What do you mean "you have been with a man?" If you are not married to him and you don't like him, LEAVE! If you are giving him the priveleges of marriage without God's sanction, STOP!
---Jerry on 8/6/05


Move on and be happy! Find what you deserve before you have to keep what you've found and don't deserve. Life is too short!
---Pierr7958 on 8/6/05


, if he had been as bad as you say, you would not have stayed with him three years. or maybe it's time to raise your standards.
---steve on 8/6/05


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You can't change another person.Even God will not go against a pesons free will and change them.The person has to decide they need to change and seek it themselves.Just pray for his soul/salvation,the Holy Spirit has to draw him, and seek God's strength for your life every day.You can also pray for God to lead you in how you should deal with the situation.If he is abusing you physically then get out before he hurts you badly.You don't have to take being abused.
---Darlene_1 on 8/6/05


If a person don't want to change, then they won't. Nothing you can do to change that! I mentioned you only been with him for 3 years? If you are not married, I would suggest finding someone new. Atleast cut him lose for a short time to see if that will make him change. Other than that, this is not much you can do. In the long run he will only bring you down. Good luck
---geraa7578 on 8/6/05


You can NOT change someone else, only yourself. When you meet someone you do not say "well he will be ok after I change this or that" You must accept all the flaws as well as the good because that is who they are.
Pray that God will help you acept things you cannot change and if change is needed that God would be there to speak to this mans heart.
---Marla on 8/6/05


These books will help U value & understand yourself, know what kind of man U R looking 4 N your life and help U set a standard so that God's daughter can live the life God planned 4 U 2 live. Also "Knight in Shining Armor". I teach single's ministry and have seen the changes in both sexes when they understand themselves
---Lisa on 8/6/05


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Olivia, it's not possible to make somebody change. You need to decide if you want to be with this man exactly the way he is right now, because that's probably the way he'll always be. You can pray for him to repent, but you have to be aware that he might not.
---Billy on 8/6/05


U move on my sister, if the man hasn't changed in 3 years either U allow and put up w/ his bad behavior and haven't set a high standard in the beginning of the relationship or U thought U could change him. Read "The Unspoken Rules of Love" by Michelle McKinney Hammond & Joels Brooks, Jr and "Teach Me How 2 Love U" by Bishop Thomas Weeks, jr.
---Lisa on 8/6/05


Leave him. You are not going to change him! Only God can do that. So either start doing a lot of praying, or leave him and find a man who will treat you like you should be treated. In Ephesians it says that men should treat there wives as Christ treated the church. If he doesn;t fit this mold, do you think this is a God-ordained relationship?
---zoe5647 on 8/6/05


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