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I Can't Stay With This Man

I married in haste, husband did not tell me all things, he does not walk with God now, is childish and immature, is mean to my child, says sorry but never changes. I don't feel any love and certainly don't respect. I can't stay with this man. Help!

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 ---Rita on 8/9/05
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In the bible, especially the olden days when an issue was brought up, before judgment could be rendered they had to search the matter diligently and not go off one person testimony. I am not saying you are not telling the truth but the problem with people is when they tell a story they make themselves look like the victim and the other person the bad person. Also we don't want to take action for their consequences, so we try to take the easy way out.
---mark585 on 2/12/08


Rita, can't means won't and that's what I call a self fufilling prophecy.

Respect is a choice, you can choose not to think man sized thoughts for God sized.

Based on undeniable fact, this man deserves hell, but that's true of ALL OF US. That's a man sized observation.

A Godly thought is one of pity for him, because he is truly the biggest loser in all this.

By all means separate if you must, but don't divorce, I'd go as far as telling you to not even sign papers if served.
---Pharisee on 5/18/07


I know what you are going through, and it is hard. My husband is mean to my son also. I take it one day at a time. It has gotten a little better. Your child sees how you react. Therefore, that is what is damaging also. Try reacting differently. When your husband does something talk about it away from the child. Where is the childs father? What does he have to say about this? Does the child want to live with his father? Is that an option or would you rather get rid of the husband?
---heather on 8/16/05


Are you waiting on his promises or God's? God said he will save your household, but it takes faith. All I was saying is don't give up on him finding Jesus again. He is seven times worse than he was, why do you think he is so mean? You do what you feel you need to do, but don't give up on him being saved.
---Rebecca_D on 8/11/05


Dear Rebecca D, who said I hadn't tried? I have waited for YEARS for promises to come forth, he did the same things in his first marriage and she had enough after many yrs. He is being MEAN to my child, if he doesn't make changes do you really think God expects my son to be damaged forever because of a choice that I made?
---Rita on 8/11/05




So your just going to give up? What if Jesus gave up on us? What are you doing to help him change? You can't give up on someone and expect them to change. you say you don't feel any love, respect from him. How are you showing the love and respect toward him by giving up? It takes 3 to make a marriage, God you and your spouse. You need to pray that he can find a way back to God. and stop with the negativity. If God can change me (which he did) he can change anybody.
---Rebecca_D on 8/10/05


So you are talking about leaving your man and yet you say he is the one not walking with God? Didn't you take marital vows to stay with him "for better or worse"? You think it's gotten worse so you are heading for the door. I suggest that instead of trying to change him, you change first and he will perhaps change along with you.
---ralph7477 on 8/10/05


Like you said, you married in haste, you went ahead of God. That don't mean God can't still make it work. By todays standard Adam should have divorce Eve, Abraham Sarah and even Issac Rebecca, but they worked out their differences. Marriage is a union that God holds VERY seriously, divorce was never his intention. If you really love the Lord you will seek his direction about this and pray that his will not yours be done.
---mark585 on 8/10/05


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