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How To Cool Off Desires

Does anybody have any tips on killing the sexual desire of the physical body? I can't get rid of it no matter what I do. I don't think I've ever put so much hard work into anything. I'm single and I don't need it right now. Extreme physical/spiritual confrontation up here in Boston....Jim.

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 ---Jim on 8/13/05
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God will always make a way for us to escape temptation. Read I Corin 10:13. Are there women around who are tempting you? Leave the area if possible, at once. Take cold showers.Don't look at the thing that is tempting you. Whenever your mind wanders to the thing that is tempting you, begin to worship and praise God,instead. If all else fails, just simply pray and ask the Lord to take this temptation away. Thank Him in advance for what he is going to do. Be blessed
---Robyn on 8/28/07


REMEMBER the act of Procreation which is called the sexual act was designed BY GOD FOR HIS PURPOSE not depravity unhealthy thinking that is Satans introduction.The act is one of love not carnal lust.even animals respect that.It's all in the Mind keep your mind clean & your clean actions will follow.Its a step in the direction of your perfection.
---Emcee on 8/28/07


Another way of looking at is like this. There are chemicals out there which used in the wrong conditions can destory. But in the right conditions can save lives. And it is possible for chemists to transform harmful chemicals into beneficial ones.
God can transform sexual energy into creative, energetic loving - non sexual - energy - and all the wonderful blessings that comes with that. We need to pray (and we all have the same problem and need to pray).
---Ed on 8/28/07


And let's not be prudish about sex. The enjoyment, above all the emotional enjoyment between husband and wife, is a good thing and brings them closer together, in every sense!
People who are not married mustn't be jealous of this gift. God gives us other gifts. And we are in no way less or more human for not having any form of sex. For God, nothing is impossible, and He fills the gap of sexual frustration with love and other blessings. But we have to fight the temptations and pray.
---Ed on 8/28/07


almost every body faces the same challenges.but the secret is this,u cant kill adam with adam. all u need is to allow ur christ nature to live himself out.it's not struggling and plz dont measure ur present state with ur holiness.only christ is holy and he wantz to live it out thru u
---samuel on 8/28/07




Jim, cold showers are often suggested, but another way is to imagine your mother can read your mind, or remember that God really can.

A lot of young men engage in sports activities to get an outlet and this works well.

Praying the Rosary is another tool - this prayer involves the body, mind and spirit as a means of completely blocking out temptation. It is an intense spiritual exercise that takes time to master.
---lorra8574 on 8/27/07


2. Jim

Sex outside marriage is a sin. It is ugly and unnatural. And, of course perverted sexual acts within the marriage bed are also wrong but that it is up to the conscienses of husband and wife to work this out. Don't forget that although husbands and wives can enjoy each other in very intense and emotional ways, they also have other problems to face that single people don't: making their marriage work, dealing with sick children, balancing work with homelife and so on.
---Ed on 8/27/07


3. Jim

For those outside marriage, God provides celibates with different, but equal, gifts and graces to those of a married couple.

In fact if we really pray hard and fight temptation sexual desire can be transformed into something quite different: a fiery and creative, but non sexual, way about how we go about our lives.
---Ed on 8/27/07


4. Jim

So next time you feel frustrated, fight it and pray. You will suffer but God will fill you with blessings once the intense period is over.

There is a lot more one can do. Exercise. Periods of calm. Avoiding sensational-tasting foods. Avoiding excess drink (stick to wine, only - and give it up, completely, if going through a tough period). Avoid looking at scantily clad women in magazines / tv etc.. Take up gardening, painting, poetry - something creative. And so on.
---Ed on 8/27/07


6. Jim

I am sure you know all of this or it rings true. But it is good to hear it from someone else.

But again, most importantly, pray to God (and fight the temptations). Since sins / temptations seem to be so often interconnected, it is right that we focus on the individual possibility of sin, but also we need to focus on our whole lives being devoted to God, not just focusing only on one thing.
---Ed on 8/27/07




7. Jim

When we look at the big picture this helps to fight and keep at bay particular, indivdual temptations such as lust etc.. But yes you must focus on fighting the particular temptation of lust when this temptation is particularily strong.

God bless you.
---Ed on 8/27/07


Jim in Boston::Ask yourself-what would Jesus do? He was also tempted by Satan in the deserthaving been led there by the Holy Spirit.Consider this as a trial by the almighty to test your true love for Him you are being Tempered in the fire of His love.hope you see & read this.
---Emcee on 8/26/07


'Ed Young' has a wonderful ministry to Christians about God's plan and sex. He doesn't pull punches - God made it and he is not afraid to discuss it.
He wrote 'sexual revolution'
---Andrea on 8/26/07


This is God's plan.

Name and confess it as sin when you even look at a woman lustfully. Pray to God and ask forgiveness. 1 John 1:8-9

Pray for God to quell the urges within, and that your eye might be single.

Confess this problem to trusted Brothers at the church (James 5:16), and get them praying for you.
Be faithful in all these things and with practice you'll not fail.
---Pharisee on 8/26/07


Well, this is definately private. Pray, pray, pray, and pray somemore.
---catherine on 3/22/07


Meditate, and memorize scripture, recite memorized scripture when your feeling overwhellemed, trust me it works FOR SURE...
---mark on 3/22/07


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Hi, the sexual desires are not going anywhere. I have been told not to pray for them to leave either(unless your not planning on marrying). When unwanted thoughts come replace them with the "word"(scriptures), eventually they will become controllable. God Bless...
---Dianne6756 on 3/22/07


Very good question that I constantly deal with. My husband & I were "really" active. Now..we're going through a divorce and its been hard for me to kill that desire. I usually keep myself occupied with kids. When tempted, I read my bible or think about the guilt afterwards.
---Jackie on 8/13/06


You can be careful of the type of music you listen to, the type of shows you watch, the talk you hear. Sometimes what you hear or see influence how you feel. Espically when you go to sleep don't fall asleep with the TV or Radio on because it can influence what you dream/think. Try to keep yourself busy read/study the Lords word. I thought it would be hard but it has been since feb 2003 :-)
---Judith on 8/24/05


cool yourself with a cold shower and a study of sexual sin from God's Word. That will shock you into reality and truth. Look for volunteer work to do. Seems you have too much spare time on your hand. Idol hands are the devil's workshop. Get busy helping others. Mow your neighbor's yard...pull weeds, pick up trash. DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE. Memorizing scripture is a positive thing to put in your mind. Need some suggestions to start with?
---Sorry_for_you on 8/24/05


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The Word of God says, Be renewed in the thinking of your minds. The mind is very stubborn and will always want to go back to the things of the World.When we are renewed in our minds we have to continually load the mind with the things of the Lord, Read the Word, Meditate upon it day and night inorder to offload the things of the past.The mind is the battle ground. The moment you are defeated there then you cannot fight.Feed on the Word, for the weapons on our warfare are not carnal in nature
---Steve on 8/20/05


Correction [gotta get those new glasses!]:

James 5:18-18, should be James 5:13-18, sorry.
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 8/20/05


Jim,,, You are not the only one out there with the thoughts and or actions of sexual desires. I battle every day. I am a new creature in Christ but I am not perfect. Pray, Pray hard because God answers prayer. I love you and all you blogers you help me with every blog.....
---Eric on 8/19/05


LOL! LOL!
Seriously, why try to kill one of God's treasured gift's [the others are right]?

Control is a better word, if you marry, women want a 'dead to sin' only mate!

I'm older, alive and well, & learned to do what I did when first saved long ago, Stopped trying to do everything myself, then lifted my hands to Jesus in COMPLETE surrender!

It worked, Grace taught me to look & not lust [Rom.7:15-25, 8:1, James 5:18-18]!

God's Best,
YOU'RE A OVERCOMER!
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 8/18/05


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the most important sexual organ in the body is the brain what ever thoughts come
give them to God it takes 28 days to break a habit but you must replace it with something positive
we can chat i will try to help if you want the bible say confess your faults one to another and pray for each other that you may be healed i dont judge and condemn i stand in the gap for you and with you
---poppy on 8/17/05


2. We can overcome but it's all a matter of how bad we want to be free. There's no sin God cant deliver us from but to be honest a lot of times we say we want to be free but we don't mean it. We see someone in something inappropriate and the Spirit will say turn your head and instead of turning we continue to stare. Most importantly ask God to fill you with his Spirit cuz we cant do it in our flesh.
---Mark585 on 8/17/05


Hi Jim, I know what your going through. For years I was consume by lust. The fact that I slept around a lot before I got saved didn't help either. For years I taught I was free, only to be attacked especially at nights in my dreams. The Lord told me to guard your mind. WATCH WHAT YOU FEED YOUR SPIRIT. I don't watch certain tv shows, listen to certain music or even secular music videos. The bible says shun the very appearance of evil.
---Mark585 on 8/17/05


"Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after flesh: the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ"2Cor.10:3-5

Dont let sexual sin keep you down. Get up, pick up your sword and brush the dirt off. Surround yourself with good christian friends and PRAY.
---Keith on 8/17/05


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Jim....thank you for being so honest and candid.

Joy9988
---Joy9988 on 8/16/05


Can't kill it, difficult to even hurt it!
Carry a picture of Hillary Clinton with you at all times! When you're tempted, just look at the picture, that should shut you down!
Stay close to a shower, with the cold water setting in the "ON" position!
---NVBarbara on 8/16/05


I can relate to wanting to "be naughty" but don't allow my self to go any where, where I can "stumble". though it's tempting it gets easier to resist. my ex left in 98 and it IS hard to resist something that GOD ment for GOOD. sexual disire is ment to be good between married people. frustrating if not. but not imposable
---Laure5469 on 8/15/05


Thank you all for your replies. I will indeed try to incorporate them in to my life. Indeed I have read "Every Man's Battle" and it was o.k. I have this pattern of sin that is unbreakable to date. It goes a little something like this: three weeks of purity and a day or two of being naughty and allowing the behavior to ovecome me. I would probably pay big money to break this pattern (I was being sarcastic about that last one).
---Jim on 8/14/05


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Jim please get a copy of the book "Every Man's Battle" (Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One
Victory at a Time) by Stephen Arterburn,Fred Stoeker,Mike Yorkey.

It will greatly bless and help you in this daily battle we men face. Blessings Bro!
---George on 8/14/05


Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you the Bible says.
---Chris on 8/14/05


What I do is remind my self that God gives us every thing I need. That I'm not married, this is not something God wants me thinking/acting on at this time. so, I ask God to remove thoughts from my mind till I have some one to share them with. I can't have things around me that draw my mind to thoughts of sexual things. "some times it's just being with couples holding hands!" you must train/exersice your mind to what is "good"Phil.4:8
---Laure5469 on 8/13/05


It is so simple do fasting, and dont give control of your soul to your body, soul is a rider over our body, if soul is powerful it can control the body, and in case you strenghten your desires your body will get pwoerful than soul, and horse can take rider anywhere upto danger level, Christian do not follow what Jesus said about fasting he told to do fasting as people do before,he meant Jews and other nations, because fasting develops will power also,
---Kelly on 8/13/05


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Dear Jim,
You sound like you have a true heart for God to be concerned. I hope no one puts a heavy yoke upon you to feel guilty and please dont let anything come between you and your relationship with God.
I believe there is a difference between lust (uncontrollable sexual appetite), love and the way God wired men to be sexually aroused when they see an attractive woman. I dont believe its a sin to feel the way you do but it would be to act upon it. May God bless you richly,
Aly
---aly on 8/13/05


Jim:you are not alone 99% of humanity have this problem. However its an inborn trait instilled by God for his purpose .Remeber the tree of Good & evil.at times its evil & at times its good depends on the choice & the situation prevailing.Thought is not a sin it'sthe continued indulging of the thought ,is a sin.Prayers like "Lord have mercy" "Jesus save me""get thee behind me satan begone" Prayers used are pushing away an unclean thought & not sin.Hope this helps.
---Emcee on 8/13/05


Wow, thanks Pharisee and Dianne. I guess I just need to avoid the temptation and control the situations in which I'm tempted. I need to put all hopes aside that this problem will ever truly be eradicated at any given point in time before my physical death or the second coming. That is true though that God will forgive me if I confess it to him.
---James on 8/13/05


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