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How To Confront Parents

How do you confront with your aging Christian parents who believe they are always right and believe they know the most about the Bible? I confronted with truth once via email and was blamed by them that Satan possessed me. They blamed my confrontation triggered their later sickness.

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 ---Mary on 8/14/05
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You don't.They're set in their beliefs /ways.Why must you prove them wrong?They sound a bit fanatical too so the less you say about Bible to them the better.Wisdom would tell you to be still,hold your peace, and let God speak to their hearts,only pray.You didn't trigger their sickness,their own anger at being challenged and holier-than-thou attitude may have but thats not your fault.Keep your opinions to yourself and just love them as they are.After all they raised you by those beliefs and aren't you ok?
---Darlene_1 on 9/11/07


the bible says that it is easier to witness to a stranger than your own family, and there is alot of truth to that. What you know is true to you, not to them. You can't beat the word in them. Some people know the scriptures of the bible, but the question is, do they understand what they read? I would let it go, only God can show them the truth. I wouldn't stop witnessing to them. You have tried, so it is out of your hands, it is their problem if they chose not to believe the truth.
---Rebecca_D on 3/11/07


, sometimes people feel like they are not important as they age, so they lash out by being difficult and blaming others. continue to serve the Lord, and pray for them.
---steve on 8/17/05


You are under no obligation to pay off your parents' debts in this circumstance. They created this monster, it is not your responsibility to fix it.

Pray and love them. That is all you must do.
---Madison on 8/16/05


When we share the gospel we will be treated just like Christ was treated. The unsaved are under a strong delusion. Paul persecuted christians thinking he was doing God's will, until he himself got saved. You will be called names like, liar; sinner; proud; judgmental; mentally unbalanced; self-righteous; hypocrite; etc. Their fleshy will will continually be against you until they truly become born-again. Pray for them and continue sharing your faith with them, hopefully soon they will accept the truth.
---Eloy on 8/16/05




Lauren, don't worry about the will. God will take care of both you and your kids! Just let your requests be made known unto Him with thanksgiving!

Phil 4:6-7
Be careful [anxious] for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
---Jeffrey on 8/16/05


I am no expert, so you may wish to contact one. but if you pay off debt they may just give it away again. unless you can have it put in your name, it may be just throwing your money away.
---Laure5469 on 8/15/05


The reason I did not know how to confront with my aging parents is because they are so bitter, self righteous and self centered. They joined a false teaching Christian organization and gave all their savings and have been living with debts. I am decided whether I should pay their debt off. If I don't, I am not sure how big the loan and accrued interest will become. They do not believe they are wrong and blame me that I have attacked their ministry. It saddens my heart to see how they are mislead.
---Mary on 8/15/05


, rev.herb, with all due respect, this is a blog for advice, not teasing those who ask for it.
---steve on 8/15/05


I too read the book "toxic Parents" My problem is that they want me to move home after my divorce. I have been divorced 7 years now and they still think that I come home and care for them, my life and kids are where I live now. I thought when I became "one" with my spouse I was out of their "grasp" even after my ex left. now if I don't do as they say they cut me out of the will. I don't care for me. but my kids. now they say that I am the cause of their health problems.
---lauren on 8/15/05




Sadly this one topic has separated a lot of families. One's only option is to continue in prayer. On the other hand try giving then a topic or a few scriptures and asking their opinion on it. Provoking thought may help. The same may even go with you. They may know something you don't and their insight may open something anew. Worth a try!
---geraa7578 on 8/15/05


One of the hardest things you will face in life is giving up your responsibility to your children. You remember teaching them to walk, talk, and potty and NOW they are telling YOU what to do.
You find yourself on the other side-and you must handle this job with care and prayer. E-Mails is a terrible way to do it. Give them time-they gave you life. Repay their love.
Both you and them are not getting younger and ultimatums will deprive all of you of the people who love you more than anyone else.
---chuck on 8/15/05


We are all aging? How old is your parents. We all know that teens thing you are over the hill if you are 25. When you get 25, you think 40 is old. when we get 40, 60 is old, old, old. Well, I am 66 and I am not old, just more wise. I like the saying to some teens, Now you can go ahead and move out since you already know everything about everything. The bible teaches that the old should teach the young.
---shira_5965 on 8/15/05


There is no easy way to confront parents, young or old. How you do it really depends on the type of relationship you have with the parents. Always use Scripture to document anything you present. (Use the Bible translation they will respond too.) Make sure you are tackful, but clear and honest in what you say. Keep your statement short, and don't argue. You may not "win", but at least they will know your stand on the matter. Remeber, to them, you are still a child, regardless of your age.
---WIVV on 8/15/05


If confrontation with you is going to make them think that you are making them sick, then it is ok for you to nod and let them think they know more than you do to keep the peace!
---Pierr7958 on 8/15/05


How do you know you are right and they are wrong?
---Rev_Herb on 8/15/05


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Pray continually for them. If you have talked to them about the truth of receiving Jesus as their Saviour then you must allow God's Holy Spirit deal with them. Continue a relationship with them if possible. We're to love our parents and honor them even if they're unlovable at times. Let your witness show them the truth. This sometimes means showing compassion to somebody even when you don't think they deserve it.
---Becca on 8/15/05


There is an excellent book called Toxic Parents by Dr. Susan Forward, which deals with how to confront aging parents. Also, how to recognize their manipulation. I really feel for you. Hope that helps some, God bless, Ann
---Ann on 8/15/05


My parents are in exactly that position, except they're not sick. I don't confront them with the Word!

I've done the best I can to speak God's Word to them and make sure they know Rom 10:9. However, not even God will make someone believe!

I mention things from the Word in passing, as they come up in conversation, in a nonconfrontational way, like I do with everyone, but I don't care if they believe the whole Bible. If they're saved, they'll have eternity to learn the rest of scripture.
---Jeffrey on 8/14/05


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