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Adopted Kid Know Wants Father

What is the christian way to resolve conflicts between an adopted adult child now that she know who her biological father is? Of course he wanted nothing to do with her for 35 years.

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 ---Albert on 8/15/05
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If this child does not meet her biological father, he/she will always feel she missed something in her life (not all children feel this). Once the meeting is over, I doubt that, curiosity satisfied, there will be any will or reason to continue to have a relationship. Even if there was a bonding, how could your child ever let it interfere with your relationship with him/her? Only, it might happen if you get anxious about all this. (I'm just a 'friend' looking at this from an outside perspective.)
---frances008 on 5/30/08

It is very normal to want to know your biological parents,Your part is to love unconditionally no matter the outcome and remember we all really belong to God, He is our true Dad.Our life is purposed by God and he works it all out for his good.Maybe you are feeling a bit scared of losing your girl to biological father, give your concern to the Lord, trust him to work out the situation
---Sue on 5/30/08

that is up to her you just need to be there to support her and not matter what the outcome love her and let her know you are there i dont know my dad he didnt want anything to do with me i now have his number and dont know whether i want to call him or not i am 20 and dont know him but in a way i would like to the choice is hers let her decide on her own that is the right thing to do
---drea on 4/10/07

Being adopted myself, it wasn't that I didn't love my adopted parents, I just wanted to know more about the ones who gave me up. To know my background & history. Adoptive parents should not feel threatened. They are the ones who love the children & bring them up, and therefore are the ones the children will always love and stay close to. Let her get to know him(if he wants to as well), and just pray about it. She might have questions that need to be answered. It will also give her closure.
---Melissa on 8/18/05

Being an adopted child, I've always felt the emptiness of "not knowing". When I did find out, the question was answered. I found out how blessed I was to have been adopted. Let your child make that decision for theirselves and support them even if what they find out hurts. I'm sure your child is not wanting to hurt you, just trying to put the last few pieces of the puzzle of their life together so they'll feel whole. Be supportive and be there when they need you.
---EJ on 8/16/05

I would think the Christain way would be to leave the choice up to the adult child.
---sue on 8/16/05

Some adopted children are happy to accept forever that their mum and dad are really mum and dad. They brought them up through thick and thin and that's enough. However others are tormented by thoughts of what their biological parents might look like and whether or not they have siblings. If this is the way they feel they should be helped to find their 'roots' and then supported if what they find isn't quite what they expected.
---Xanthi on 8/16/05

I just meet my real father three weeks ago after 31 years.we just want to know the other part of us that we dont see and why this person abandon us did he or did he not love me my mother helped me but she did not years ago caused problems allow the child freedom encourage them stand behind them if you do not it is going to happen any ways then you risk your relationship
---patra3999 on 8/15/05

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