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Why Would You Feel Guilty

I am a recent widower with a newborn. My wife died in a car crash. I want to give my baby girl the best. Should I feel guilty that I want to re-marry in a few years so that Tabitha can have a mother-figure? I just want her to have the best.

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 ---Gregory on 8/16/05
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No. Don't feel guilty. Just try as best you can to pick out someone you can trust.
---catherine on 2/6/08

Being a single parent is a tough job. It's even tougher if your child is the opposite sex as the single parent. Children benefit from two parent familes. Do not feel guilty that you are thinking of getting married and having a mother figure for your daughter. There are things a mom teaches and does for a daughter that a dad has a more difficult time with. You can't bring her mother back. But you can help fill the void she left with a mother figure. Do not feel guilty.
---Newfreedom on 2/6/08

Bless your heart. No, it is not wrong to want the best for your child, not at all. I would say though, to pray to the Lord for the right person and for the right time. God's timing is prestine. In a couple of years or less, the time doesn't matter, God's choice for you does. He knows your heart and your/daughter's need. God does some pretty awesome things. God Bless
---irhnow on 4/25/07

You shoudl not feel guilty for wanting to remarry in a few years. By all means no! But then, would wanting to have a mother figure for your newborn be a good reason for marriage? Would that withstand the test of time? Ask yourself and may God grant you the wisdom as you seek Him in this matter.
---Jo on 4/25/07

You have no reason to feel guilty about wanting to remarry. You will know when it is time to make the step. But, do not do it for your daughter. If you remarry make sure it is because you love the woman and she loves you and she loves your daughter. Do not marry a woman for the sole reason that your daughter needs a mother-figure in her life.
---Sally on 8/22/05

thanks my friends. i have been struggling with this for a while now. Tabitha is 5 months old and there are times when I am overwhemled. I feel at times like if I remarry, I'll be invalidating the 6 years I had with Hannah before she died. How do I deal with this?
---Gregory on 8/20/05

There's nothing wrong with wanting to give your daughter the best. So take your time, pray and let God bring you the best match for your daughter and for you. Please take your time and not rush into a marriage just because your daughter needs a Mom. Your daughter also needs you more now. Don't feel guilty, just feel blessed that your wife left you a beautiful child to remember her by. Just take a day at a time.
---EJ on 8/17/05

There's nothing to feel guilty about. The Bible states you can re-marry again, and that's the standard I use for anything. If you feel guilty - it's not the Lord who is making you guilty. While it would be a mistake just to re-marry for Tabitha's sake, you can re-marry. (Would suggest it would be for your sake. Tabitha will be happy if you are.)
---WIVV on 8/17/05

No you should never feel guilty of wanting to marry again. God made us to need love and compansionship with a mate. and when your grieving process is over, God will bless you with another mate when He is ready for you to have one. Just prayerfully tell God your heartaches, and lonelyness and he will provide you with another mate and supply all your needs..Stay close to Him as he is our strength and refuge and will never fail you if you are obedient to Him and worship Him...Jane
---Jane on 8/17/05

Please accept my sincere condolences. What a shock for both of you. Take plenty of time to completely grieve your loss. Know that your daughter will understand the loss differently at different developmental stages. This is normal and necessary. If you rush the process, it will serve no useful purpose for anyone; but if you let the process and the Lord work in their own time frame, the future WILL be fine. The Lord has promised good to all who believe in Him! I am SO sorry for your loss. Jera
---Jeri on 8/17/05

3. Don't worry about a thing, Life doesn't end for you yet, and you have much to do. If you want to write me, please fill free to do that anytime. Then I can give you my own email, God bless you and your family.
---lupe2618 on 8/16/05

2. Don't feel guilty because we have no control how things will turn out. One day I was going along great and God said, "From now on you will go this way" and with no cause of my own God changed everything for me. That person will always be in your heart, a big part of your life is gone, but God has given you more time then her so use it in the best way for the Lord, and somehow, someway, you will meet someone that God will put in your path to fulfill His purpose.
---lupe2618 on 8/16/05

Brother Greg, I am so sorry about your lose. I lost my wife in 98 also and know how things feel. When my sister died, I talked with my brother in law and told him that after a while, when he feels the time, to find someone that can share their life with him. He will always be my brother in law even if he marry's again. He loved my sister and was a good husband. He did his part and now he has to go on. The need for someone is strong because we have been used to been married.
---lupe2618 on 8/16/05

Please accept my condolences. I recently lost my husband due to cancer. My children are grown, and Iam a 45 year old widower. I look at it this way, If I could stand in a corner, wearing black, and cry and cry he still won't come back. Be thankful for what u had. WE were both blessed. Life is too short. Make the most out of life. Be good to yourself, and your baby; God Bless
---Jean on 8/16/05

so sorry about your situation. No, do not feel quilty. I am a single mom of a boy whose father abandoned and dissowned him. A father wanting the best for his child is very admirable. As your daughter gets older she will have need for a female role model or even mother figure. My son has lived most of life without a male role model and I can not give him what a male could in knowledge especially now that he is in his teen yrs.
---Marla on 8/16/05

First let me say I am sorry for the loss of your wife. I lost mine last year to diabetes. Take some time to grieve and get over the shock of losing your wife so unexpectedly. After that, I don't see why you would have any reason to feel guilty for wanting to re-marry and have a mother figure for your beautiful daughter. I commend you for wanting to raise her and give her the best. God bless you.
---Sam on 8/16/05

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Please accept my condolences on your loss. I am very sorry to hear of it.

Of course you would want your baby girl to be raised by a loving mother. That is nothing to feel guilty about. I would encourage you to allow yourself to go through your period of mourning and grieve the loss of your wife first. Allow God to heal you, and trust Him for your future.
---Madison on 8/16/05

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