Do I Tell Husband Of 3 Affairs
I was a backslidder 13 years ago. Should I tell husband about infedility 11 & 9 years ago? He knows of an affair 8 years ago. We just went through a 10 month separation dealing with his infedility. Separation was his idea. God brought us back together. Husband and I have come back to the Lord.
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---Shelly on 8/19/05
Helpful Blog Vote (10)
don't hurt your husband anymore than he has been hurt already and pray he won't hurt you anymore. He may have things in the past and that is where they should be left. What good would it do to bring the past up. God has forgiven you and restored your marriage. Don't mess it up again.
---shira_5965 on 4/13/08|
I do agree with Elmer. Let bygones be bygones. Its over and done with, let it alone. Confess, repent ask for forgiveness from God. The marriage has gone through a lot already. You are blessed to still be in the marriage. Don't risk separating again. Once a couple start splitting and going back, it gets harder and harder to go back. The next time another woman may be in the picture. I say..keep your mouth shut! Learn from your mistakes and bad judgement.
---Robyn on 7/21/07|
Honesty is the key. You should ask forgiveness from God and your spouse and proof to him that you are truly changed by God's power.
---David on 7/21/07|
Remember that you don't want to hurt him or your marriage anymore, and he might not be able to take the news. I suggest you forgive yourself and go on.
---elmer on 9/16/05|
When you confess, It's for both your sakes. God bless you dear.
---Marggie on 8/23/05|
John, I know exactly what you mean by sleeping better. A few years ago My marriage was in trouble and both of us were healed through the Lord and by us revealing our faults to each other. God bless you Shelly.
---Linda on 8/23/05|
You may be able to sleep better, but how about your husband? Understand why you want to 'confess'. Is it for YOU or for your HUSBANDS sake?
---sue on 8/22/05|
Yes, most definately tell him of the others. He may find out from someone else if you don't and that would be worse and the hurt will start all over again. Get it off your concience now and bring it out in the open and start clean. You will sleep better. God bless you both in the Lord!
---John on 8/21/05|
Probably, "yes" you should tell him - but timing is very important at this point. Spend much time in prayer on this, that the Lord will make your husband both receptive and forgiving. It may take while for him to fully trust you, since you've held out this long. What I'd do first is talk with the pastor. He may know more about this situation and know how to advise you. As a husband, I'd want to know.
---WIVV on 8/19/05|
The varied responses is representative of just how I feel, torn. I agree that honesty is always best. This has been weighing on my mind. I can see where leaving the past in the past is best and why hurt him further? I've asked for forgiveness with a sincere heart but at times it weighs on me. I'll continue to seek God's guidance and ask Him to show me what to do. Thank you for your advice everyone.
---Shelly on 8/19/05|
If the times are good and these things can be digested productively, trust your gut and get it off your chest.
I think the chance to admit it and be forgiven by him gives you a clean start.
If it were me I'd tell.
---Pharisee on 8/19/05|
Do NOT tell him of the affairs. Forget the past and concentrate on the present. What good is it going to do to bring up what God has forgiven. Even if he asks, tactifully side step the question and refuse to answer. Some people (especially men) can't deal with the type of information you are thinking of disclosing.
---Joy9988 on 8/19/05|
I say yes. It is his right to know who all he is sleeping with. My ex was unfaithful to me and yrs later I found out who was with. The persons he was with where unclean and had diseases which he could have brought home to me.
He deserves to know what you did. He is your husband and someone you are supposed to be true and loyal to. He deserves to know everything.
---Shaz on 8/19/05|
If you found the courage, to admit to one affair, you should confess to all of them. You will release the guilt you are carrying and if your husband has a forgiving heart, and both of you have come to the Lord, the truth is always the best way to go.
---DeniMari on 8/19/05|
what have you got to lose by telling your husband the truth? Better to confess it than to leave it covered up for God will bring it out in the light . Sounds like you all have gone thru the worst part of marriage this just might bring him and you closer and also Closer to God . Clean it up i say.
---Lea on 8/19/05|
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