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Family Member Is An Alcoholic

Two members of my immediate family are alcoholics. Obviously I pray for them but what else can I do apart from lock them up without alcohol? Anyone else on C.N. in this position? I'd really appreciate your advice.

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 ---Kit on 8/21/05
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Hello,excellant post! Lynn you are 100% right! we can love'em & stay praying give them o'er to the Lord.He can do what we cannot do. 1. hate to argue & try to force someone,makes bad matters worse. God's way like I always say "sweet,tested,tried! God is not a man that he should lie! I love the Lord,and whatever the habit,issue he will help you through! Love of Jesus!
---ELENA on 4/6/12

Let me say this once. There is absolutely nothing a family member can do to stop the alcoholic!! Pray, give them to God and really let go! This is not any of your faults, you need not feel guilty, you need not try and help them stop because it will not work and only cause you pain, suffering and grief. Mentally, emotionally and every other way it will destroy all that is good in your life. Get away from them if you have to move 3,000 miles away. This is a choice they are making and you are in no way responsible for thier actions. Give them to God or you will get sucked into thier pain. After 35 years of this I knnow what Im talking about!!!
---Lynn on 4/6/12

Joseph: Have you tried inpatient rehab, or outpatient rehab, or Celebrate Recovery, or Alcoholics Anonymous? If not, then you have not exhausted all of the possible ways to solve your drinking problem. I used to be a sporadic binge drinker, and it got progressively worse. I had to go to inpatient rehab and AA. I am currently involved in AA, and praise the Lord, I don't drink alcohol anymore.
---Trish9863 on 5/13/10

thank you for sharing, Joseph.
---aka_joseph on 5/13/10

Joseph, Do not blame Jesus for you voluntarily purchasing alcohol and freely lifting it to your lips and imbibing it. Alcohol can be abused or else not abused, and when you choose to abuse it, that is your free choice to do and to pay the consequences of your own actions. If you have a problem with it, quit drinking it for ever, you do not need it for any thing. There are other liquids you can drink, soda, juice, water and milk, and there is no need to imbibe alcohol and then attempt to blame the perfect and innocent Jesus for your own sin. Pray to Jesus to help you to quit and to never touch the stuff again, and I promise that if you are serious then he will help you quit.
---Eloy on 5/13/10

I am an alcoholic.Once a month I get drunk for two days.I have tried everything to quit but the urge just overpowers me.
I would like to quit but like I say once a month the urge just overpowers me.I have tried acupunture hypnosis herbal remedies and other medicine
I am a Christian but feel ashamed when this happens.Maybe it's Jesus' way to keep me humble because everybody always says I am such a strong Christian If they only knew
---Joseph on 5/13/10


Go to a Christian based 8 or 12 step based program like Celebrate Recovery. If there is no group in your area, try Al Anon. This is AA's group for family and friends of Alcoholics. I prefer the former, but be careful either way.
---aka_joseph on 5/12/10

My Mom, Aunt, Uncle and Cousin are all alcoholics. I hate watching them get worse and worse. I was thinking of trying to get them full-tim into a clinic. My aunt has just recently come into major trouble because she doesn't have a job and the man supporting her and her kids just died. Also, my cousin(her daughter) just found out she was 6 months pregnant a month ago. My aunt is burying herself in alcohol and not coming up with a plan to take care of her family.It goes against every bone in my body to not do anything and watch.I pray and pray...I'm scared to death and my Mom is dealing with her own alcoholism and not helping..she's in denial. I'm so overwhelmed...I wish there was someone going through this like me so they could help, and talk.
---Rachel on 5/10/10

I can relate to your situation. The stress you're feeling can be so overwhelming. I know how sick you feel inside. The best thing to do is take very good care of yourself. Find good friends who love you and rest knowing the Lord is always there for you. When the grief of the situation is the worst, talk to Jesus and thank him for lifting you out of the pit of despair. Give thanks and rejoice by faith. It's hard, I know, but it breaks the power of the grip of pain on your heart.
Because of your situation, you will have more compassion for people who have overwhelming problems. Jesus leaves you with peace. This is not your fault. God loves you so much! He knows your pain.
---Patrice on 12/18/08

There is very little that you can do. You as an adult are not responsible for them - you love them but are not responsible for anything except your own actions.
The best thing that you can do is make yourself into an accepting person. I would suggest that you contact Alanon. They have vast experience in this.
I am a recovering alcoholic, who has not drank for over 7 years. I appreciate the stress that alcoholism causes but you did not cause it, you are not responsible for it and you cannot cure it. Good luck!!
---Peter on 10/5/08

My husband is an alcoholic has been for 8 years he decided to kick my kids and I out of the house. I have been very sick for the last 4 months and he decided that he had had enough of me. He has been very mean about stuff and blamed the failing relationship on me and my sickness. I have put this in gods hands sometimes praying is all you can do it's the person who is doing the drinking that has to admit he or she is an alcoholic. And you can not change them. One day they will relize what they lost even if it is too late. I have a long road ahead to heal emotionaly ,as with any family members of an alcoholic.
---becky on 9/24/08

My sister is one too.There are support groups for people with alcoholic family members.It really helps to be with people who are experiencing the same prob.
---sherry on 11/9/07

Once I was falling from a high place ,I lost my balance but another person grabbed me and saved me. I was saved from falling. To be saved is to change the circumstances and outcome of an individual's life. I see a lot of people claiming salvation but their still falling I think they are stumbling over the Rock of offence.
---Exzucuh on 9/4/06

Jesus saves people everyday, this would include alcoholics. Man has his way of doing things, which in some cases can be helpful,but doesn't always work, but when God does something, it always works and God completely deliverers a person, but it's up to us to Abide(Continue)in His Truth,some don't do this. Jesus came to set the captives free from all kinds of bondages, we must Trust Him more than man. --Mrs. Morgan
---Mrs._Morgan on 9/4/06

2/... I agree totally with r.w. that Al-Anon (or even A.A.) cannot truly help them because they need to be set totally free from their addiction. They need Jesus.
---Helen_5378 on 9/4/06

Kit - I used to be an alcoholic and I can tell you first-hand that only Jesus could set me free from this horrible addiction, which He did. Ultimately there is nothing that you can do to make an Alcoholic stop drinking, and the more you try they will most likely drink more. They have to come to the end of their rope before anything or anyone can help them. Pray that Jesus will get hold of them and save them and set them free. Bless you.
---Helen_5378 on 9/4/06

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2....that was intended by the founders of A.A. The few weeks I attended helped in that I realised I wasn't alone having an alcoholic relative and that all our problems were very similar and we were all being manipulated in the same sort of ways but as soon as I was told that I mustn't mention Jesus (when they saw my Ixthus badge) "because Hindus and Muslims might wish to come" I realised that the help I could receive there would be very limited.
---Mac on 9/4/06

The higher power mentioned by Alanon does not mean God as we mean it. It means absolutely anything or anybody that you wish to refer to and think of as 'your' higher power. It could be the fly on the window pane if you choose. I was really shocked to hear just what some people's higher powers were when I went to a few meetings. Maybe all meetings are not the same but the group I attended have moved far away from the meaning of higher power
---Mac on 9/4/06

FORGET ALANON! and their any god will due message. has anyone mentioned Jesus?!!!He did it for me!!!!!
---r.w. on 9/3/06

Paulette and Annie: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. The people you love are being deceived by the devil, and you must pray that God breaks through this denial.

It might be a good idea to encourage your loved ones to read the Alcoholics Anonymous website, where they can read about alcoholism.
---Madison on 8/30/05

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Annie you say that your husband would not agree that he is an alcoholic. Nor would my relative yet I feel she is. Have you any idea where the dividing line is between a very heavy drinker and an alcoholic. My family member drinks to excess, remembers nothing about what happened the night before, is sick as can be during th bouts and is putting on a lot of weight. Her reasoning is that 'alcoholics are always thin so she can't be one'. I feel that this is part of the denial others speak of.
---Paulette on 8/30/05

Thanks Annie, I will get in touch with them again and will probably go. I'll get back to you on this at a later date. Thanks for your encouragement.
---Kit on 8/26/05

Kit, I hope you go. I stopped going for a while because I got busy but I need to return. After meetings I felt much more at peace, and I was always made to feel welcome there. It was comforting to know that I was not the only one in the world with this problem.
---Annie on 8/24/05

One thing that was a surprise for me about Alanon. I went in thinking that my husband was the one with the problem, but Alanon focuses more on you and how you deal with the alcoholic. It was a good thing for me to realize that I had co-dependency issues (trying to be superwoman and trying to "fix" problems for people) and that I cannot change my husband, but I can (with Jesus' help) change myself and how I deal with life. The serenity prayer is also prayed at the meetings.
---Annie on 8/24/05

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When I went to Alanon the first time, I did know some people there, but they were there for the same reason I was, so I did not feel like they would be judging me. The 12 steps fit my beliefs and encourages participants to give control to a higher power (God).
---Annie on 8/24/05

My current best friend was a heroine addict for about three years. His friends finally managed to open his eyes to "reality". Out of love and deep concern, his close friend told him that his addictions were coming between them and their friendship would have to end if he was not willing to try to stop; because he couldn't watch him destroy himself. He made a choice to quit and his friends stood by him and supported him until he did. He chewed a lot of gum and ate a lot of chocolate :)
---Kyla on 8/23/05

Hi Kit, I am a recovering heroin addict and let me tell you that there is NOTHING you can do for your loved one. They have to do it themselves. And also please remember that they dont have this addiction because of any less love for you. Please attend alanon meeting.
---sue on 8/22/05

Annie could you tell me more about Alanon. What form do the meetings take and would I really remain anonymous? I know there is always a possibility that there could be someone there who knows me but they would be in the same boat because I'd know them! I've heard there are meetings not too far away so I'm seriously thinking of it but am very nervous also.
---Kit on 8/22/05

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My dad was an alcoholic but quite . My mom is addicted to pain pills . My older brothers, one an alcoholic, the othera drug addict threw everything they have away for their addiction. I've tried to help them all, but God has finally said worry about youself and live for the purpose of breaking that generational bondage and sin talked about in Isaiah 61:1-4.Keep praying for them, and let them see Jesus throuh you. Guard your heart and forgive yur brother as the Lord forgave you. Isaiah 61:1-4
---rebec4569 on 8/22/05

My husband is one, but he does not agree with me on that. You need to take care of yourself. Check to see if there are Alanon meetings in your area and go to one if there are. One of the hardest things I ever did was walk through the door of an Alanon meeting the first time, but it was such a blessing. It didn't change the circumstances but it changed the way I reacted to them.
---Annie on 8/21/05

They have to hit rock bottom in order for them to look up. Pray, without ceasing that the Holy Ghost will get them. The only thing you can do besides praying, is shine a light to them, that they may see God in you. Don't push them to quit, don't preach to them that they are going to hell, they don't want to hear that. Be a friend, don't condone what they do, but try being a friend. You can't make them quit something their not ready to give up.
---Rebecca_D on 8/21/05

Alcoholicism is a disease. They must seek help or the outcome can be disatrous. Most don't want to be alcoholics but are bound and cannot get out by themself. Most are afraid to ask for help. Your doing all you can by praying. Don't give up on the alcoholic. They're still in the land of the living just as God isn't finished with you, He isn't finished with the alcoholic either. I come from a family of alcoholics and have seen the move of God in the life of alcoholics. Keep praying. bj
---Barbara on 8/21/05

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I was the alcoholic in my family. Their constant pressure to quit did nothing but make the matter worse. You need to let them deal with it on their own time. If it is necessary, throw them out and have nothing to do with them. I know that is hard, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I finally reached the point where I admitted myself in to a rehab and wanted to quit. Doing it on my own terms was the only way.
---scott3649 on 8/21/05

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