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Should Only Men Work Not Women

New twist/old question: Is it fair that a husband expects his wife to "submit" AND (at the same time) to fulfill what has traditionally been HIS obligation - supporting the family by working 40 hours a week? Shouldn't this same husband be providing for his "subservient" wife?

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 ---Crystal on 9/9/05
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I agree wole heartely with Jody. If a couple is happily married, and contrary belief by some, there are happy marriages. If there are young children still living at home the wife should stay at home and raise them and they should live within their means. If a wife wants to work after the children are in school and the children are not latch key children, then I think it's alright.
---Norma7374 on 3/10/08

The traditional way was better IMHO. When two wages were used to buy a house, what happened? House prices shot up and other women who wanted to stay at home and look after the family, had to work to afford a house. The idea of making a woman's wage go up to enable her to look after the family (I.S's post below) is worse because then men are totally unnecessary. More destruction to the family unit. When women started work full-time, divorces increased.
---frances008 on 3/9/08

I've been a stay at home mom for years. I have often thought that if more women were to do the same, then there would be more jobs for the men.
---Cathy on 3/10/08

ralph7477: "...I see many of my old posts are being recycled with a current date... I have to tell you that I pretty much lost interest in this site"

You must remember Ralph, that there are new Christians being born every day having the same questions that were asked probably a hundred, or even a thousand, years ago. We must be patient with new Christians and weak Christians and keep answering the old questions. Did you learn to play the piano the first day you sat down at the keys?
---Steveng on 3/9/08

Men: If you love your wife, and I mean true love, then your wife will serve you. She will have no reason to hate you. Then, and only then, will her children arise up and call her blessed and her husband will praise her. Unfortunately, true love is a rarety in today's world.
---Steveng on 3/9/08

What is meant by 2 in one flesh.To submit to the ordeal at hand we are called to do Gods work as a unit to satisify God, any objection from either party is a failure to yield to his omnipotence.God wants HARMONY Not Discord this is a devils ploy it happens here on this forumThose who have eyes let him see.
---Emcee on 3/7/08

Wow! If a person could really afford to support his family on his income it would be a BLESSING! However, 2 incomes are required just to make ends meet.

I think moms should be able to stay home with their children but the world we live in makes it impossible to do this unless the husband is rich.
---Ardith_Tolson on 3/7/08

We saw a homeless guy with a cardboard sign, 'Wife wanted: Beautiful, Rich, and Obedient!'
---John1944 on 3/7/08

Ralph ::If you ever glance at this Thanks. I have also noticed, this it is to generate interest and keep the body alive like an IV.but it does impair the truth which is not changeable.
---Emcee on 3/7/08

Ralph ::If you ever glance at this Thanks. I have also noticed, this it is to generate interest and keep the body alive like an IV.but it does impair the truth which is not changeable.
---Emcee on 3/7/08

Men should work and take care of the family.Period. This has nothing to do with submitting. To submit only means to respect someone. This goes both ways.Husband respect wife and wife respect husband. This should be part of the relationship anyway.When you love someone you should be willing to submit to them on most matters anyway. It takes nothing away from you to respect your spouse. It brings blessings and benefits. Or should. If not you are married to the wrong person.
---Robyn on 3/7/08

No it is NOT fair! there is nothing biblical about the husband who golfs and goes out for fine meals while EXPECTING his wife (and mother of their three young children) to work! Mother gets little time with children while husband kicks back and sits in a hot tub. he is too stressed to work and relaxes in the name of God. When wife gets home, he belittles her in front of children! what a Christian. soon to be divorced christian man :)
---Kathy on 3/6/08

If women are to stay home with the children, then we need to see to it that the legislated minimum wage is high enough for a family to be supported on one income!
---InimicusStultitiae on 12/19/07

Ooops! :( I didn't know that, sorry Ralph. I am surprised they would do that, recycle them with a more current date, that don't seem right. I had assumed you just wrote it, ooops.
---Mary on 12/17/07

You have said it. He should not have it both ways. Need to remember: We are to obey husband as unto the Lord. Watch out, do not allow yourself to fall in a snare. To sin. Husbands are to treat their wives with respect and honor. If husband has a God fearing wife he is indeed most fortunate. Treat her as such. Some where in the Bible there is a verse that will back up that statement. PS. I know I am nothing without God.
---catherine on 12/17/07

Something compelled me to check back on the CN blogs just to see what was going on and here I see many of my old posts are being recycled with a current date. Hence, my friend Mary is responding to a post I wrote two years ago.
Mary, I have to tell you that I pretty much lost interest in this site for a few reasons, not the least of which is the practice of making it appear that people are posting when they are not.
---ralph7477 on 12/17/07

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Some women have to work to make ends meet.

There appears to be bitterness towards your husband under the surface, hope the situation has cleared up by now.
---lovable_linda on 12/16/07

Women and men have separate functions to perform. One is not better than the other. Just different. Men should go out to work and women should stay home. Especially if there are small children involved.Men and women both have forgotten their places and this has created untold pain and sorrow for both sexes.God has designed us for a very unique purpose and we do it best when we are in loving and committed relationships.Putting God first, of course, in all things.
---Robyn on 12/15/07

Follow the Holy Bible, God has rightly detailed the functions of the husband and his wife, if any stray away from his perfect order then there are costly consequences to pay.
---Eloy on 12/14/07

There is nothing wrong with a woman working.

Look at Proverbs 31 - a portrait of the "perfect woman": she runs her own business at home, and sells what she makes.

This is not to say that women must necessarily work, just that there's nothing to say that they aren't allowed to do so.
---StrongAxe on 12/13/07

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Hi, I have to defend this woman, Ralph, I can keep my mouth shut no more lol! True, she is apparently bitter but being treated like garbage will do that to anyone. :*( And submission is supposed to be a beautiful thing, any man who DEMANDS his wife's submission is not a nice man. :(
---Mary on 12/12/07

Crystal, your questions and statements project bitterness and hostility at the mere thought that you would have to do anything for your husband. You seem fixated on your own desires and the unfairness of it all as you see it. All I can say to you is if you want a lousy marriage, keep up this attitude. My ex-wife was the same way. I'm saying all this to help...really.
---ralph7477 on 12/12/07

Each marriage is diff and each persons financial needs- bills, savings etc. Sadly we live in a world where most do both have to work outside the home or even have a part time w/ a full time job. So pray and keep the wires of communication way open.
---Jeanne on 11/22/06

Ralph, They both get married, agree to have a baby, man leaves woman to care for the baby (or babies). Sometimes the man keeps the children, but rarely. Thats how the 'poor unexpecting woman gets left with a baby'. As far as male bosses spending a bunch on aspirin, I could tell you stories about the MALE bosses I've had that made me want a much stronger medication than just aspirin!
---sue on 11/22/06

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Madison, could you please explain how a man makes a baby and then leaves it with some poor unsuspecting woman to take care of? The pro-choice crowd teaches us that the woman has ultimate control over her own body. What gives?

In light of some of the responses here I will also add that women tend to complain more than men and make unrealistic, unreasonable demands and suggestions which cost the boss more money when he is forced to purchase large quantities of Excedrin.
---ralph7477 on 11/22/06

Jarod is making a Stong Point...if we want an uproar among tax payers...just add the "The Domestic Tax" won't Fly...rachel
---Reiter on 11/21/06

Oops, sorry Jared...that's an in RED...I gave you an in ROD...oops
---Reiter on 11/21/06

Steveng: My degrees are in education and social work, therefore, I never claimed to know much about business.

Rachel: There are too many single mothers in this world to play it safe and assume a husband will support them. Too many men making babies and not being there for the moms afterward.
---Madison1101 on 11/21/06

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and how will they pay for that sue. I'm taxed enough and I'm not looking forward to the day my parent's retire because then there will be less workers supporting the social security. Most people pay 30% of their income to the government (income, sales, luxurey, sin, corporate,and property taxes.) All these are passed on to us and we are at a point we can't add more or we will have a peasants revolt in our nation.
---Jared on 11/21/06

Sue, that is a Lovely Ideal...but I won't be counting on is Safer to rely on your Husband for Provision than wait for a government payout...not b/c Women aren't worth it...I just can't imagine how it could be in the National pay Every Woman a Respectable Salary for Staying Home.

---Reiter on 11/21/06

If this country cared so much about our children we would figure out a way to pay mothers to stay home and care for the kids. Not only pay her, but give her health benefits and a retirement fund also.
---sue on 11/21/06

Even though Ralph made a Valid point, according to the Law, and employer can't not hire a woman simply b/c she's a woman [or that is considered gender discrimination]--regardless of whether or not she costs the employer more...

---Reiter on 11/21/06

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Women generally go to doctors more than men, are more prone to take personal days, take maternity leave. Women have higher turnover as they often leave and change jobs more often because of family issues. All of these impose extra expense on an employer. Essentially they are a higher risk to an employer's bottom line. Why do 19 year old males pay higher car insurance rates than 40 year old females? Same principal.
---ralph7477 on 11/21/06

Madison: It seems your knowledge of business is very limited. There are many women organizations that will help a mother start their own business, even to the point of giving out grants. A women can even start a C corporation and deduct all medical, health insurance, dependent care, car allowances, educational reimbursments, retirement plans, etc. By the way, there are a few network marketing programs that do have benefits.
---Steveng on 11/20/06

Women working full time are currently paid, on average, 87.4% of mens hourly pay.

There are a lot of reasons for this disparity. One is that 60% of all working women work in 10 jobs that are typically female.
---Madison1101 on 11/20/06

by the way men can demand alimony too in some states (which is sad). I think it is a choice that only a husband and wife can make. In today's economy it is almost essencial to have 2 incomes. and in every culture at some time women and men both work, even in biblical times (usually in biblical times) Not to say that it's best but it is a real thing that happens right or wrong.
---Jared on 11/20/06

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Ralph: Alimony is not common in all states. In PA, it is only given, if at all, during the course of the divorce, but not after. I am divorced and I get nothing from my ex. He did help with my son's high school expenses for the last few months of his senior year, which was 5 years ago. All of my divorced friends do not receive any money from their exes.
---Madison1101 on 11/20/06

Ralph2: If you were to research the mean income of women and the mean income of men, you would find them vastly different, with men earning more than women overall.

How do women cost an employer more?
---Madison1101 on 11/20/06

It's true [what Steven drew attention to] that women DON'T need to sacrifice their children for a career...A woman who works from home...saves on Gas, Mileage, Cost of Eating Out, and other expenses...and she gets a business tax deduction...and as for benefits...the self-imployed are insured, too.

---Reiter on 11/20/06

Madison, most divorced women do rely on their former husbands for support in the form of alimony and child support. Most women demand and are awarded these payments even if they initiated the divorce. Women in general don't seem to have problems finding work as there are more women working now than ever. I can't think if any jobs where women are paid less because they are female, although a case could be made for it because women generally cost an employer more money than men do.
---ralph7477 on 11/20/06

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Steven: What work at home opportunities give a woman medical benefits and a retirement plan? A single woman does need medical benefits and a retirement plan, especially if she has kids. It is not a luxury for a single mother to have a career. To suggest that a single mother work at home, without medical benefits or retirement, is ludicrous. Please tell me what wonderful opportunities are out there for single mothers? Name one at home job that offers benefits, which are a necessity, not a luxury.
---Madison1101 on 11/19/06

Madison: Did my post catagorize women? I wasn't making any references between married, single, mothers, or whatever. I was talking about women in general - married, single, with children, without children, with husbands, without husbands.

I also talked about the abundance of opportunities that women have today that are so flexible that they don't need to sacrife their children for a career.
---Steveng on 11/19/06 Steven puts it...'look how the children have turned out'...they Suffer...because of neglect...because of feminism...[which encourages women to be away from the Home]...the children suffer most...

---Reiter on 11/19/06

Rachel and Steve: Your arguments are based on the assumption that ALL women end up married till death do us part. Not all women get married. Not all marriages last forever. There are millions of single mothers and single women without children. Who is going to support them? They are entitled to be able to support themselves to the same level financially as any man is.
---Madison1101 on 11/18/06

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Steven is right about women.
Today's woman doesn't have half of the HONOR that a Wife of Abraham, Isaac or Jacob had. Today's woman is willing to measure herself against a man...and take his job!...thus abandoning her own femininity. A woman should feel honored to be Wife and Mother...but it is hardly the case...

---Reiter on 11/18/06

Cindy: My ex was a feminist. He believed that women should contribute to the household income if there were no preschoolers in the house. He was raised by a feminist. His great grandfather believed that it was more important to educate a daughter than a son, because the daughter must be able to support herself, but a man could always dig a ditch. There was no assumption that the daughter would be supported by a man. Women worked in his family for generations.
---Madison1101 on 11/17/06

God created the first two humans and then allowed the women to continue his work. He placed in her hands the caring of the children. Women had the world by the tail by the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, but unfortunately women blew it when they became equal to the husband and wanted to do what man does. And taking childbearing second to a career. Now mothers don't rule the world any longer and look how today's children turned out.
---Steveng on 11/17/06

Besides, today's women is able to work like the many women in the Bible. The women in the Bible knew that their number one job is to the children and they worked around their children. You cannot do that with a career, spending most of your time at your job. Today is so full of opportunites for the women to work in the home. And to care for the children - not the other way around.
---Steveng on 11/17/06

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who said women are subserviant?In Christ there is no male or female,all are equal,If you read the Bible corerectly the man has to love his wife as Christ loves the church,the lady should stay at hom,e to raise the children the man be the earner that does not make him superior child raising is the most imopiortant job in the family
---doree4573 on 11/17/06

Was it a feminist, or some one who was doing long range planning, who would be free of guilt?
---Cindy on 11/17/06

Rachel,Are you sure your mom wasn't a feminist? She sounds like one to me! She sounds like she was a beautiful, strong woman with her own ideas on how to raise her kids and live her life. Didn't let anybody tell her how to do it, ya know? This is my idea of a feminist.
---sue on 11/17/06

I was married to a feminist who insisted I get an education and begin a career when my kids were little. I am so grateful for that now, because I am self-supporting, dependent on no man, as my husband left me 6 years ago. My kids did not suffer for my career. God always provided me with ways to make sure the kids were cared for by myself or my husband. Very little daycare was involved.
---Madison1101 on 11/16/06

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I think that the fact that my mother laid down her life for me, putting my Health and Education in her own hands, going above and beyond the system, always being emotionally connected, working [yes] BUT never letting work take her Time from me [or siblings] Making her own babyfood...breastfeeding [EVEN THOUGH it wasn't convenient...teaching me to read...there's too much to list...I'm so glad she wasn't a feminist...

---Reiter on 11/16/06

I think that the fact that my mother worked has made me a stronger person.
---sue on 11/16/06


The Familial Order has been flipped on its head. Relationships have become about MONEY [thanks to the influence of Feminism]People should come first. Children should come first. Nobody replaces Mama. I'm lucky I had mine. She could have worked. She qualified to, but she put me First.

---Reiter on 11/16/06

Rachel: 50% of all marriages end in divorce. That means that more than 50% of all children are being raised by a single parent, probably the mother. Who is supposed to support her and her child? She must work, and feminism allows her to pursue any job she is qualified for. There was a time when there were jobs for women and jobs for men, but that is no longer the case, thanks to feminism.
---Madison1101 on 11/15/06

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Susan - Hi. Welcome to the Blogs. I hope your time here will be rewarding both for others and yourself.
---Helen_5378 on 11/15/06


If mommy is out working and daddy is out working, children are not being properly cared for. Every small child deserves to have contact with at least one of his parents. Feminism is about Money, Greed and Competition at the expense of the Welfare of a Child.

---Reiter on 11/15/06

Sue is right. Feminism is not saying women shouldn't stay home to raise their kids. Feminism is saying that women should be able to earn what men earn in the same jobs and be entitled to the same job opportunities in the work place, should they choose to work. Some women don't have a choice but to work and they should be entitled to the same pay and opportunites as men.
---Madison1101 on 11/13/06

Hi Rachel, I disagree what you say about feminism not honoring motherhood or wifehood. I believe that feminism DOES honor women, in whatever 'hood' she chooses. Being able to 'choose' is what feminism is about. Like God gives us free will, this is what feminism is about, 'free will'.
---sue on 11/12/06

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I'm new to Christianet Blogs so I hope I do this right. I believe it is Biblical for the mothers to stay in the home as the children grow up. I know this is not always possible for various reasons but I believe this is by far the best way to raise a family. The children are taught from the onset that God takes care of our needs and that God gives Dad the grace and strength to go out and earn a living for his family. Sue9746
---susan on 11/12/06

Christina mentioned an important point regarding feminist values. Regardless of the "out of the home and into the workplace" movement, a woman's identity as Wife and Mother is far more important than her career identity. Feminism doesn't honor wifehood and motherhood. But, we know better.

---Reiter on 11/12/06

Deeply embedded in this subject is the false idea that we as women have our identity in what we do {career}, our "success", when in truth our identity needs to be in Christ Jesus. The false premise of identity sets up a plethora of other false beliefs from which feminism for instance has a basis and has flourished, decieving many.
---Christina on 11/10/06

The ideal place for mothers, is in the home, raising her children. However, in a case where the husband has an abusive personality, she should work. When there is no father giving financial support, she should work. Children who grew up with the mother at home, give less trouble in school and in society. We women are working, but our children, the church,schools,our nation suffer.We need to deny ourselves "the world" in exchange for mothering.Besides,stress is killing us!
---Esther on 11/9/06

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Even if there isn't pay for women to stay home, the "rewards" as you put it are enough of a reason. There is no Higher profession for Womankind than Wifehood and Motherhood. Even though, some feminists are turning down motherhood to make a buck. There is not a big enough buck that beats the chance to create and raise another human life. I sense you are happy with the choice you made so you are an Inspiration to undecided women.

---Reiter on 11/9/06

Hi Rachel, you're correct, when a mother stays home it has many rewards. I was lucky, I was able to stay home until all my kids were in school full time, then I could work outside my home. I used to care for 2 other kids in my home to contribute to household expense. I know there is a country that pays mothers to stay home, maybe Holland? I think it'd be a good idea, but I know it'll never happen in the US.
---sue on 11/9/06


As splendid as that sounds, the Government's money comes from the People and compensation for housewives is not [as far as I am aware] in the budget plan. In truth, the return that is yielded to women who give their time and effort to Family, is a return that is far greater than what green paper can purchase. It is the richness of Love and Peace and Joy and Harmony and Happiness in a Home where a functional family works together as a Unit.

---Reiter on 11/8/06

Steve: Some women have not choice but to work, and there are few jobs that are flexible for women that pay a sufficient wage to support the kids.
---Madison1101 on 11/8/06

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Maybe the mom's should get paid to stay home and take care of the kids/house/husband? Maybe the govt. should do this that way the mother's would have a paycheck and be able to stay home.
---sue on 11/8/06

This question smacks of selfishness, and it sounds like another predictable divorce on the way to happen.
---Eloy on 11/7/06

Men and women work. It's all there in the Bible.

The difference is that the women's work must be flexible for her to take care of her number one responsibility - the home and children. Her work must revolve around home. She should not have a career that will take her away from her responsibility at home. In today's world, there is an abundance of home businesses opportunities where both parents can work.
---Steveng on 11/7/06

Some women do not have a choice but to work. They are called single. My husband left me six years ago, and prior to that, I had to work anyway to help support our family. Now, I must work.

Working is not a curse, but a privilege. I am glad that I had a solid career prior to my divorce, so that I could support myself and put myself through graduate school.
---Madison1101 on 11/7/06

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Women are given the greatest gift ever. THey can do many things. THey have every right to stay home and care for the children, and they are totally equal with men (altough this isn't actuallized yet) If a woman wants to work work. If you don't then don't. Men on the other hand we are called to support the family. To honor our wives we must really do something. Most relationships where a man does not work have serious problems.
---Jared on 11/7/06

FAIR Gender Play?

Womankind and Mankind have been dealt two different hands of cards. We each suffer in our own ways. We can fight about who suffers more, thus inflicting more pain upon one another or we can mind our own cards.

---Reiter on 11/7/06

We live in a real world & sadly both people usually need to work outside the home just to make ends meet. But women have traditonally always worked & worked hard whether in the home, or the field or modern times. I am not clear on what U mean by submission or subservient? These can mean vastly different things to each of us. Remeber life is not fair never has been never will be-we deal with what is handed us.
---Jeanne on 11/6/06

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