Females Must Be Given Away
When you are a female and get married, does someone have to give you away. I am in a tough spot. I have a dad and step dad so if I ask one the other will be hurt so is it a neccessity. I am getting married in May 2006 and don't want anyone to get hurt or mad.
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---andre9789 on 9/12/05
Helpful Blog Vote (14)
Well, it's a bit late for the original blogger, who should be married by now, but no, nobody needs to be given away.
If anyone cannot make up her mind who is to escort her down the aisle, she should just go by herself.
---Nancy on 12/3/07|
I have the exact same situation, so I asked my maternal Grandfather. I do not know if you are blessed enough to still have your grandparents, but it was a perfect solution in my case.
---Maci_Hoskins on 8/25/07|
If you're close to both of them, why not ask both of them to give you away?
---Susan on 7/19/07|
The person who gives you away should be someone who was by you throughout your life. Someone who supports you and knows you. In my case, I want my brothers to give me away. They may be younger than me, but they would do anything to protect me.
---Katie on 7/18/07|
Who raised you? Who are you closest to? My thoughts are that the father, not the step-father, should be the one to give you away. Don't worry about hurting one of the other. This is your day. They will understand.
---Madison on 3/6/07|
I went thru this with my step-daughter. A lot depends on what kind of relationship your dad and step-dad have with each other. I had no problem with her real dad giving her away. I just went down the isle with her mom. I raised her from 9 yrs. old and put her thru college. I was just glad to be there. It's all about YOU! Not the dads!
---Fred_S. on 5/16/06|
my daughter is in the same situation, she has a father and stepfather who are willing to give her away but, neither of them actually were there her whole life. I've been mom and dad for 26 years. She has ask me to give her away, wow what a gift, and blessing she has given me. So the answer to your question is go to your heart, it will lead you to the right answer. Tradition is nice but its your wedding and your say so!
---laura on 5/16/06|
my wifes father left when she was 10 and never had any relationship with her at all. She was 26 when we got married, she asked me if i thought he should be asked to give her away. I said how can you give away something that you have already thrown away. This was sad but true, she had an uncle give her away. Her father who was invited to the wedding had to decline the invitation due to "prior buisness commitments" Sad but true the man is a snake.
---Cory on 9/18/05|
I like the suggestion that both fathers walk you down the aisle. You could have your step-father walk you half-way down and your father walk you the rest.
---Sally on 9/17/05|
neither are paying for the wedding me and my fiance are paying for it ourselves
---andre9789 on 9/15/05|
No doubt you would prefer one or the other but you are BIG and want to hurt no one. Which one is paying for the wedding? He should be the first choice.
---chuck on 9/14/05|
Usually, the biological father gives away the bride. There have also been cases where both the biological and step father give away the bride. It can also be a brother, or even a special friend. (Usually in situations like this, the father is unable to attend.) In a formal wedding, someone gives away the bride. But, you can always ask a pastor, or wedding planner their opinion. I've never been at a formal wedding where the bride is not "given" away.
---WIVV on 9/13/05|
I have to ask....
Whose property are you that you have to be "given away?"
---NurseRobert on 9/13/05|
My father had passed away before I was able to walk down the aisle. I have 2 brothers and love both of them dearly. They both had the honor of escorting me down the aisle. When we reached the alter, both gave me a kiss (which I did not expect). Good luck in whichever way you decide and have a wonderful wedding. Just remember that your eyes need to be on the marriage as much as the wedding. Please have pre-marital counceling, especially about finances. This will save lots of heartaches in the future.
---patta4379 on 9/13/05|
Where does it say only one can give you away? How cool would it be for both of them to give you away. Both will be honored. Good luck on your bright new future. God bless
---geraa7578 on 9/13/05|
Flip a coin...make a new ceremony of that...I can see it now, out on the church lawn in tuxedos; coin goes up one man yells HEADS!
After all the Apostles cast lots to see who was their new Apostle to replace Judas.
Don't let the stress of the details spoil the most important step you take with the one you love. Have a great day, and a Blessed marriage.
---Pharisee on 9/13/05|
My daughter just had to face this issue not long ago. Choose her father? or her stepfather for ten years of her life (he left us when she was a young teen) both were invited to the wedding,she went down the isle with the man she considered "her dad", the one who had been there for her,it was her stepdad. The family prayed for God's guidance first & both men are not saved but they saw the love of God in her and her husband...it was not easy..but God worked it all out...trust the Lord!
---lady3368 on 9/13/05|
Change the world my dear......let your mother give you away.
Or let one give you away and the other be the ring bearer.
Let them both buy you a new car.........
---Elder on 9/12/05|
Well I have talked to my daughter about this same thing and if i can share what she is planing to do is have me her mom walk her down, but will have her dad & her step dad on each side of her at the altar to give her away. I think this is going to work out fine, besides I have always told my daugther this is your day. And another idea this is what I did myself, i had the same problem so I had my brother give me away.
Good luck and God Bless
---Sylvia on 9/12/05|
My feelings, while you are only "required" to have you, your groom, a legal person to perform the marriage, and a witness, I must admire your compassion. I would speak to each separately and ask their feelings saying you don't want to hurt the other. Then (as others said)you can choose either, both, someone else, or no one. You will make the best choice. May prayer help you.
---mike_fl on 9/12/05|
You can even walk down the isle by yourself.
---barbara6786 on 9/12/05|
A wedding last summer had the step-dad walk the bride half-way to the altar where they met dad and he took his daughter the rest of the way.
---DoryLory on 9/12/05|
Can you sit them down and explain to them how you are feeling? Maybe one will be the bigger person and tell you to let the other one walk you down the aisle. Or you could flip a coin...
I suppose you could walk alone, I've seen it before, or even have one on each arm. At the end of the day, it's your wedding, the decision is up to you. God Bless.
---Katie on 9/12/05|
It would depend a lot on what if any role your dad played in your life. Also whether or not he did his best considering all the circumstances. You know best! If your step dad pulled most of the load bringing you up he deserves the honor. But you may ask step dad to allow dad to stand also and both give you away! Don't sweat it. Just talk it over and work it out!
---Pierr7958 on 9/12/05|
I don't think that it is a legal requirement that the bride is 'given away'. Unless you have been estranged from your real father I would have thought that, if you choose to be given away, your real father would be the one, rather than a step-father. However, I'm sure the choice is yours. Only you know them well enough to know if your decision is going to cause problems. Best wishes with the wedding and your future happiness.
---Xanthi on 9/12/05|
If your dad and stepdad are on good terms with each other, why not ask them both and have one on each side as you walk down the aisle. If not, I think your stepdad would agree it is your father's place. If it can't be resolved, walk down the aisle by yourself and make sure both dads have a place of honor in the seating arrangements. Or you could ask your mother to walk you. It's your wedding, you don't have to abide by tradition.
---Nan on 9/12/05|
, so why can't they both give you away?
---steve on 9/12/05|
Giving the bride away is a "tradition" but, every situation calls for different ways of doing things. I do not believe you HAVE TO have one or the other give you away. It is your wedding. Be creative. Make a way everyone you love can be involved. Do what feels right to you and never mind what "tradition" says. Have a unigue and creative wedding.
Congratulations and be blessed.
---Marla on 9/12/05|
No, it is up to you if or who gives you away. I think legally all you need are 2 witnesses 18 or older (could be best man and maid of honor), and someone who is licensed to officiate weddings (preacher, judge, or ship captain).
---Ulrika on 9/12/05|