2. I think the rest of my original message got cut off. All I was saying is basically now with my wife out of the house, all I'm doing is praying, praying, and praying. I've been hearing pastors on the radio constantly talking about this, and I'm taking their advice and spending a great deal of time on my knees. It's a daily process to entrust this to God, but as others have said, it's all we can do, but it's more than enough. Prayer changes things, and even if my wife does not come back, it's drawing me ever closer to Christ. I will be praying for all of you in similar situations, and especially for the children involved in this. |
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---Robert on 11/12/09 |
1. Wow, it truly pains my heart to see so many involved in this situation, even more so now because I can directly relate. I've been married for almost 5yrs 9 months, and found out mid-Sept my wife has been having an affair since about mid-Jan of this year. When confronted, her initial reaction was I checked out of the marriage before I even met the guy, and my relationship with him is so deep it won't be broken.
Fast forward through many painful weeks, and she has now been out of the house since Nov 1, when I asked her to leave since she wouldn't give up the affair. |
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---Robert on 11/12/09 |
My wife left with my two daughters four months ago, as she had decided she no longer loves me. I have screamed, i have cried and i have felt pain like never before, but i will continue to trust the Lord. |
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---Sean on 11/7/09 |
My wife (12 yrs + 2 sons)left me 2 mos. ago. 3 thoughts:put God 1st in your marriage. Read THE POWER OF PRAYER TO CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE by:Stormie Omartian Learn how to pray THROUGH your problems, not ABOUT them.I am going through Elijah House Prayer Ministry (Google 4 info.) It is an emotional and spiritual awakening. If u can't find this, use ANY CHRISTIAN COUNSELING. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13 If I knew this 6 mos. ago my marriage would have been so much better. I pray 1 person can read this and saves their marriage, so they do not have to go through the pain and suffering that we are. May the Lord bless all marriages, and may He find you when and where you need Him most. In Jesus name, AMEN |
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---Jonathan on 11/5/09 |
Read These Insightful Articles About Tips
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A man who blames a woman for where he is spiritually is not a man at all. The spiritual aspect of a man is manifested through his own personal relationship with God. Placing the blame on the woman is a testimony to his own lack of relationship with God. A man in a real personal relationship with God will carry the unconditional Christ-like love that honors his wife and cherishes her as his own body. He gives his life for her. The total disregard for any personal responsibility for his spiritual growth says more than a thousand page essay on why he's leaving. Growth in personal relationship with God manifests in the growth of personal responsibility for one's actions. |
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---Linda on 10/23/09 |
Actually, if you want to look at it all in a more "spiritual" light, a man blaming a woman is a man who has bowed his knee to the woman instead of the Lord Jesus Christ. That gives another person more power in his life than the King of glory.
Lest I sound one-sided, I believe the same way about women who blame men and children and pets and inanimate objects...and hormones :) |
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---Linda on 10/23/09 |
My suggestion is this: first get the book by Dr. Dobson entitled 'Love Must Be Tough' Follow the guidelines put forth in this book. It's Biblical and your best course of action...
Second, concentrate on getting your life in order. You can only change yourself. Lord bless you richly. |
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---Sheldon on 10/23/09 |
The moderator is right, fast and pray. My husband left me, and my 3 kids, and has said he's not coming back. Satan has stolen your spouse, and it's time for us christians to declare spiritual war on Satan! I have declared war, and I am standing and fasting for my marriage. I encourage you to do the same. God CAN and WILL bring your spouse back when the time is right, and God's timing is always perfect. Stand and pray and fast for your marriage, declare war on Satan! God will restore the prosperity to your land! |
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---Krystal on 9/4/09 |
Alexa, I was once in charge of the man and women who had been devorced or separated. And I myself went through the same thing. The worse thing you can do is beg someone to come back. What normally happens is that the partner will return but he will return with power over you. The more you beg the worse it gets. Just remember if he returns back, the problem is still there. It has not gone away. I met a brother in which he wife had left him, and he begged her to come back. She did and every friday she would leave and come back on Sunday. There was nothing he felt he could do but take it. I told him not to take her back. She had only been gone one week. How can she change in one week I told him. Be he didn't listen. He loved her so much. |
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---Mark_V on 7/17/09 |
Alexa 2: People make mistakes and even though many are Christian they too make mistakes. Many don't want to separate because they fear the partner will not return back, or they might meet another girl, but really they can meet another girl when they are with you anyway.
What needs to happen is for the one that wants to leave, who tells you, "I don't love you anymore, is because the problem is big. When you ask God to change the person God begins to work in you and him. It takes time, and sometimes they don't return. Patricia gave a good answer on the other blog. Do for yourself and the kids an trust God, that no matter if he doesn't return God will take care of you. You will never be along because He has a purpose for you. |
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---Mark_V on 7/17/09 |
My husband told me something similar. I had to beg him to come back. He did. It's not easy at all. I find myself trying not to be angry at him for walkign out on me and my son. I agree with the mmoderator. Pray and fast |
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---paola on 7/17/09 |
What didi she do? |
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---Carmella on 7/14/09 |
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman a Christian marriage counselor. It is an awesome book. You can get it in audio as well.
There are extreme stories of marriages in trouble that mend.
I wish I had read this book years ago. I think it would be excellent for single people too. This book is so worth the time and money. I have given it out to many of my friends. |
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---SuzieH on 6/30/09 |
My husband I have been married for nearly two years.I am 8 months pregnant with our first child.He works out of town, so it is hard on our marriage.He has backslkdden. He told me two weeks ago that he was only with me because I was pregnant, that he didn't love me, that he despised me, he blames me for where he is spiritually, he has no desire to make it work.We have been separated since then. I found out last night that he met a woman on a chat line.I believe that God can save my marriage,i'm just so scared that I will have to raise our child alone.I have been praying for him and myself.He won't even give it a second chance.I'm trying to focus on the Lord, but it is so difficult when all I can think about is how he left me. Please help. |
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---Alexa on 6/28/09 |
My wife and I were in the same boat 18 years ago. I was the one leaving and she wanted to save the marriage. She stepped out alone to do it and it worked. She focused on doing the right thing no matter what I did, and she walked in love toward me. We have now been involved in marriage ministry for 14 years! I can tell you that most marriages are saved when one spouse steps out alone to save it. We have seen it time and again. Someone has to do something. I recommend you do what my wife did. It works. |
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---Rick on 3/5/09 |
My wife of 12 years told me the same last Sept. We have 6 children. I allowed her some space and asked God to bring us back together. He did do that. But once we were together, I feel that I might have tried too hard to get us back together and did not wait for God to take his cource. She since has left and start the divorce again.
I feel that if a marriage is to survive the difficult times, the two of you need to pray together. Lay out your feels or mistakes to god, infront of your spouse. I feel this was an area that my wife and I did not do. We were to be one body worshiping to god according to gods word. I have not given up on our marriage, but I do wish that I had been more active in daily prayer with my wife. |
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---Randy on 7/26/08 |
Sorry about all these marriages being destroyed by the Destroyer. It is amazing to me that a man can say 'I am not in love with you now, so let us divorce.' What did he think marriage was based on? He had a Hollywood built idea of marriage. That is, as long as the orchestra is heard in the background playing sweet music, as long as everything is going fine, then stick together, but as soon as things get tough, just give up and start on the next wife. Obviously being in love is no basis for marriage in fact it might be a deception. |
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---frances008 on 7/24/08 |
I am in a similar situation.
I have deprived my wife of intimacy for too long. I dont believe there is someone else in her life, but she now no longer desires me and has fallen out of love with me. I am devestated. My only hope is in the Lord.
Father fix me, Father save my marriage! |
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---Bryan on 7/24/08 |
Stay in prayer, if you are a believer. If he wants to go let him go. There you go. God never expects anyone to hog-tie someone to stay with them. What kind of peace would there be? |
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---catherine on 3/13/08 |
I have been with my wife Andria for 16 years . She has left me for another man, I am having such a hard time. I have found god through this but dont know much of the bible.
Its not all my wifes fault, we both made mistakes and relied to much on one another. I miss her so much, I pray everyday that god shows us happiness. we have to little girls that god gave us that we deserve to watch grow up together. |
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---Shad on 3/12/08 |
Thanks everyone. God has made me aware that my marriage is my ministry and my part of taking care of my ministry is to please him, my God. So I have been operating in this way, but I am on an emotional roller-coaster. I know my Daddy is proud of me. However, my husband only sometimes shows his appreciation, but often he is so mean and calious that it hurts. He still wants out and continues to show it. |
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---Dee on 3/8/08 |
Hey sister,there will always be a night and day,this might be a night time,every believers pass through it but the most inportant thing is what God want to bring out of our night time ''darkest time''keep praying sister and ask God to fix what need to be fixed. You or Him or Both.You are Blessed and surely your morning time has come.Amen. |
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---David on 3/5/08 |
Right On, Moderator, Annie, Lupe' and Lilly.
My wife and I have been married 34-years, (No Brag, Just Fact) and it does take 3 to make it work. Marriage is a complex relationship that entails all four types of love: Erros, Philos, Agape, and Sorge'. My heart goes out to you, I will pray also for you all.
Here's some verses to check out that could help: 1st Cor. 7-all, Romans 8:26-28, 31-37, Philipians 4-all, Psalms 37-all. |
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---timotheus on 3/4/08 |
I'M SORRY, I feel for anyone going thru a sepparation. You can overcome this situation (Philipians 4-all/ 1st Cor. 10:13/ Eph 3:20) Don't give up your faith
You can be victorious and come out better than you were before, be open to that.
DO NOT Give Up your faith Jesus PROMISED to never Leave or Forsake you, right!
Check Yourself for what you did right, AND... wrong, Learn from it, then move on in the Lord. |
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---timotheus on 3/4/08 |
Wow, I am in the same boat. We have been married for 8+ years and we have had poor communication. He told me he wants out, and nothing can change his mind. He says no other woman, its just he fell out of love with me. In his eyes, I did not do what he needed me to do as a wife. I can't believe I am losing my family. |
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---Dee on 3/4/08 |
Leave it in God's hand. Get yourself focused on God (really put God first - early morning prayers, fasting, fellowship with believers, going into your secret closet, deep bible study on getting closer to God, investigating your heart for unforgiveness and purging yourself. It's going to be hard but it will bring you into a closer walk with God...Lily9364 I'm sure this sister would like you to answer her without making her feel guilty. If you were replying to me I'd be very offended. |
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---tee on 10/21/07 |
You cannot force someone to see things "your way" The more you manipulate and push with guilt ridden (especially religious) agendas, the farther away they go. My husband and I went to Christian marriage counseling for more than a year and he left anyway. You cant trap them into staying. |
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---Sarah on 7/28/07 |
I am going through the same situation. My husband left me four months ago, after having an affair for several months. He left me to take care of three children. Now he lives with her. But, I am still holding on. Keep the faith. |
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---Ashley on 7/14/07 |
I am going through the same exact problem.
I am now putting this problem in God's hands
We are in the divorce process but I am staying in prayer.
I will pray for you!
Theresa |
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---Theresa on 6/14/07 |
I do know exactly how you feel because i'm going through the same thing, and i know it's hard to keep the faith when you try and try and it seems that their's just no hope. I have three small children and that makes it even harder. Keep the faith, remember Matthew 14:13 if you ask anything in my father's name, i will see it done. |
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---Lisa on 8/20/06 |
I am going through the same thing that you are going through. My heart goes out to you. I do believe that God will help us if we trust in him. A part of me says that I should give up on my marriage of 24 years. But I cannot do that and give up hope that my marriage will be saved. Therefore, I am putting my marriage in God's hands and I believe that he will answer my prayer. You should do the same. We must trust in God and the outcome will be the right one whatever that may be. May God bless you. |
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---Jackie on 5/29/06 |
i really need your help my husband is fall out of love with me in think he going to dup me for good i'm having his child in iwant him in mylife . |
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---.Ashley_Barnett on 5/18/06 |
2 Forgiveness releases us from hate, anger, and we will be able to function for God much better. We all fail in life at one time or another, but God never fails us. I know I have made many mistakes in life and only hope that in the end I would have done more good decisions then bad ones. That is why in answering scripture I put my faith on God and what He can do then man and what he does. No matter how bad things look now, you will be through it and you won't have to answer to anyone but God in the end. |
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---Lupe2618 on 10/27/05 |
Thank you sister Linda, many are going through a lot and do everything possible to keep the marriage together. Our strength is strong but we cannot fix what God can fix. We don't know what the outcome will be but we do trust in Christ and that is the difference with us and the world. I hope and pray that you too be strong in Christ. That in the end you too will be stronger in your faith. That your life be full of love for others. To forgive your husband in your heart for it will be for you, |
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---Lupe2618 on 10/27/05 |
Lupe,I read all your comments and it is a beautiful thing that Jesus has done in your life.I'm going thru something similiar and I,also,have a closer walk with Him.No matter who the man is..Jesus is the One that died for me.Linda3957 |
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---lovable_linda on 10/25/05 |
Prayer and turning it all over to God is good, but if both parties are not working to make things work, then it won't. Do keep praying, I do know it sometimes work. |
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---geraa7578 on 9/30/05 |
Sister, I will pray for you and your husband. I hope I have helped in some way. I know I don't have an sure answer for you, but trusting God and laying everything in His hands is the best advice I can give you. I know exactly how you feel. I thank God for what He did for me and for my family. Anything outside of God really means nothing. My wife is gone and my life has changed, but my faith has never been stronger in my life. All the glory to God. |
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---Lupe2618 on 9/30/05 |
6, Your husband could be in sin and God is allowing him to go so far. Many times people get hurt and sin does cause many to suffer. But your faith in Christ will sustain you no matter what. God can see ahead and knows that He has His best for you. Trust in God no matter how terrible things look. Years from now you will see how God worked in your life in a time of great pain. Your faith will grow even more in Him. But remember your husband is important but never more then God. |
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---Lupe2618 on 9/30/05 |
5. After one year of coming back she too came to the Lord. Eight years later she died in the hospital through an accident. I am not saying it will turn out the same with you, but if you put your faith in God and humble to Him, God will see you through it all and in the end even if you never get back together it will be the result that God thought was the best for you. He has reasons why He allows things in our lives. He knows your pain and also his. |
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---Lupe2618 on 9/30/05 |
4. One day I prayed and told God that I was putting my marriage in His hands and that I would not talk to her and just stay away. That it was up to Him to see me through it all. That I was trusting in Him no matter what the outcome would be. I want to tell you that in my case God did a miracle. What I mean is that the miracle that God did was to bring her home after about a year gone. She never had to answer to me why she left. I felt that if she did anything wrong it was up to God and her. |
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---Lupe2618 on 9/30/05 |
3. But out of something so terrible, God came into my life. I learned that no one can take God's place. That my marriage was important but not more important then God. That no matter what happened in my marriage, God was going to help me somehow. That even if she never came back it was going to be ok because God loved me and was going to see that I made it through and that I would be fine. We don't know how God works in a person. Sometimes it takes something so terrible to make us more dependent on God. |
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---Lupe2618 on 9/30/05 |
2. We all make decisions in life and when we look back we find out if they were right or not. When two people have a problem in marriage it seems that only one can see the problem and the other doesn't. For him to want to leave means he has a problem and is looking to get away. The more you talk the worse things get. I tried so hard to talk her out of leaving but the more I talk the worse things got. The more I cared the weaker I became. My wife was my God in my life and I let it distroy me. |
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---Lupe2618 on 9/30/05 |
Hello Heather, I want to tell you something I learned in your case. When someone wants to leaves, you can talk all you want but the person has already made up their mind. You cannot make someone see what you see or feel what you feel. The other person has his own mind and thinks different then you. What might be important to you the most might not be for him. What you feel is wrong he might not feel is wrong. |
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---Lupe2618 on 9/30/05 |
no matter what he does,dont let the devil rob you of your testimony you have a personal relationship with Jesus,then stay close to Him.. seek, pray,,
does your husband know Jesus? only Jesus can change someone from within,, give him to God,, |
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---michele on 9/20/05 |
Get Christian marriage counseling. If he won't go with you, go alone. One person cannot make a marriage work, it takes three---Husband, Wife, and God. |
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---Nan on 9/19/05 |
Have you checked within you of any 'broken alters' that need to be repaired? Maybe you are the one that is driving him out - there maybe things you used to do that attracted him to you and when you got married,you stopped to do them hence causing him to see you as a different person and not the one that he fell inlove with and wanted to share his life with. Sometimes prayer and fasting wont do where you are supposed to act and be a wife to your husband. |
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---Lily9364 on 9/19/05 |
If you love him let him go, you never know he may come home, prayer for him prayer for you, I suggest to you start healing soon. |
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---hawk on 9/18/05 |
I was in similair situation many yrs ago. I can witness that prayer changes things and people's hearts. Pray, pray and pray and when you are all prayed out pray somemore. Also show him the constant love of christ. |
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---M. on 9/18/05 |
When he refuses to work on it it any way , then prayer is about all you have . . . I'm sorry for your situation |
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---BeckyH on 9/18/05 |
stay in prayer
counceling
sit and talk about what the problems are with him.
try a date night weekly to get to one know one another again
Life is not totally over with if it goes into a divorce |
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---Harvest on 9/18/05 |
Try not to seem too desperate or needy, even it that is the way you feel, because it will drive him away. I heard a Dr. James Dobson program on this topic and that was his advice. Always keep your dignity and he will come to treat you with respect. Dobson's point was that men like to do the pursuing. If you pursue him too much, it may drive him farther away. |
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---Annie on 9/18/05 |
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