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Who Should Propose For Marriage

Who should propose, the lady or the man and why? ayand4635

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 ---ayanda on 9/22/05
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Bill, you can't have it both ways. Either Ruth did or didn't propose.

Looks like doesn't count.

I can look like buying stuff with my cart at the store, but until I checkout I having brought a thing.
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/19/15

Ruth chapter three > Ruth went to Boaz and uncovered his feet and waited for him to wake up. Then she asked him to take her under his wing. It looks, then (Ruth chapter four) like Boaz understood that she was asking him to marry her, because he agreed with her and went to arrange their marriage.

So, it looks like she did ask him to marry her - - even though she was not a Jew and came from a foreign country, and in Jewish culture ones might arrange marriages.

Boaz said Ruth was known to be a faithful woman of the LORD. And he was known to be a godly man. And others blessed their marriage, and encouraged them. So, it was not an isolated thing, how some "propose" and later "ambush" everyone with their plans (c:
---Bill on 6/19/15

Bill, you can't use our culture today to explain culture centuries ago.

Plus, other countries still behave differently than us.

I can hang around a guy, bat my eyes and smile very big every time I see.
That is my hint for him to ask me out and propose to me.

It still doesn't mean I propose to him. I just let him know I am interested in him.
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/16/15

Nicole, in the United States culture that I am familiar with, the first to ask for marriage is the one who is proposing. And Ruth asked Boaz to take her under his wing. So, she initiated asking for marriage.

When Boaz made the arrangements. He was proposing to others that they accept the marriage.

But first Boaz agreed with Ruth, on the condition that it could be worked out.

So, yes you can use the same word with different meanings, then use your meaning to disagree with mine, though we might not even be talking about the same thing.

By propose, I mean how Ruth asked him to marry her. She did ask him, first, at the direction, though, of Naomi, which is not how some number of United States people do things.
---Bill on 6/16/15

Bill, you are right that Ruth showed interested to Boaz in Chapter 3, but Boaz explained to her that he wasn't her nearest kinsman. So Boaz had to do the work to propose to obtain her instead of the other nearest kinsman.

But, I see how you and Donna believe Ruth propose to him.

But rules are rules.
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/15/15

The scripture showing that Ruth asked Boaz to marry her >

Ruth 3:8-13
---Bill on 6/14/15

Bill, please give me chapter and verse from the book of Ruth saying Ruth asked Boaz to marry her.

She couldn't ask? Boaz couldn't propose without removing the other guy.

What part of ch 4 do you not understand that Ruth belonged to another person?

Cluny is right. Marriages were dealt by families.

That is why Boaz had to go through so much trouble to even have Ruth as his wife.
Tradition made Ruth subject to another man first.
Closes kinsman.
Not the first Bo she saw and like.
Ruth and Naomi were smart to get Boaz to pay attention to her to get him to WANT TO MARRY HER.
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/14/15

\\Biblically the man should propose,because the Bible says a man who finds a good wife finds favour before the Lord
---helen on 9/22/05\\

At the time this was written, marriages were arranged by the families involved. The couple had very little input.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/13/15

Yes, Ruth went to Boaz and asked him to marry her. And Boaz was delighted. He praised her for not seeking young and rich men. He said her kindness toward him was greater than how she had already been kind. He said she was well-known for being a faithful woman of God and one to be highly appreciated as a wife.

After she came to him, he then directed her to wait while he took care of things that he needed to do.

So, one thing is helpful, here, I can see. She came to a man she knew could be a good head. And she was obeying how her mother-in-law Naomi guided her. So, she did not act on her own.

So, it was a community and family way of doing things, not "proposing" like many do in isolation only with each other.
---Bill on 6/13/15

Donna I think you might want to read the book of Ruth again.

Boaz did all the talking and set up marriage himself.
Remember he told the kinsman she came attached to the land.
Ruth would have been force to marry the other man if he didn't claim the estate.
Ruth 4:1-12

Ruth could NOT propose or refuse.
She was treated like property.
---Nicole_Lacey on 6/12/15

Ruth proposed to Boaz
---Donna on 6/12/15

I had a time limit for my man to propose. The time was approaching and he was still content the way things were. I said something and he still did not catch the hint. So I proposed. He did eventually ask me,too but I had to light the fire under him. I was not going to wait over two years. Bottom line. Does not matter who does the asking if both love each other. Best wishes
---Robyn on 3/30/10

ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior, Genesis 3:16 To the woman he said, "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." I believe through these two that the man is the leader therefore he should begin the marraige by proposing. also in the story of esther and of rachel it was clear that the man propose to the woman of choice
---sophia on 9/26/07

Friendship with the world is unequal yoking. Man is made head of the woman as Christ is of the church, so the man should propose, i mean a God fearing man.
---ruth on 9/26/07

Why? Christ is the head of man and the head of woman is man. In marriage the man takes the leadership position. If the man does not have the guts or desire to purpose to the woman he loves chances are he will not be a good Spiritual leader and the woman will have to fill both positions in the marriage. I see this in the Church a lot. The wife will often be in Church and the husband sitting at home sleep or watching Tv because the man does not understand his position as the head of the family.
---Marcia on 7/17/07

No, misty, it really doesn't make any sense.
It sounds like you're advertising yourself.
---DePuTy on 7/17/07

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The man...its more romantic that way...and biblical. I'm old school even though I am not really actually old... :) I'm a sucker for romance, but not seeking it. If that makes any sorta sense.

Ooohhey gooey chick flick night at my place!Somebody bring popcorn.
---mistysppl on 7/17/07

A God fearing MAN.
---Marcia on 7/16/07

I don't think it matters who proposes. Personally, I'd prefer to be proposed to and I would like it to be a surprise.
---Katie on 7/16/07

It is very simple, the BIBLE tells us that "HE Who Finds a Wife"...
---Pamela on 4/13/07

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Usually it is the man [or used to be the man]. Women always have a way of getting us men to say what they want to hear or get, Delilah & some others excluded. A girlfriend(s) of earlier years gone by verbally suggested marriage to me [maybe it'll happen again (still a little naive & ignorant to a degree)], thinking back, I see nothing wrong with it. I guess it depends on the couple [henpecked should not be in the equation!].
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 10/31/05

You will have to explore the local society for an anwer to this one. Frankly, being somewhat "macho", I like the idea of a man making the first move. However, times are changing. It's not unusual for the woman to ask the man. (Nor is there anything wrong with this.) Just like its not unusual for the woman to pay her share of a date expense. (That's not the way I did it, but when I was dating gas was about 25 cents a gal., not $3.00)
---WIVV on 10/20/05

Glenda, I'm a subscriber to the same camp you are. I couldn't even ask a guy out on a date, much less propose. I was raised being taught that it's not right for a woman to make the "first move."
---Heather on 10/20/05

I am a woman. I would never have guts to ask the man.I guess I am old school.
---Glenda on 10/20/05

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If asking is necessary, that means one couple has not done their home work in learning to communicate. The traditional on the male's knee, he begs, sells rings and makes memories but their should be more planning than that yes or no, now or never approach to the rest of your life
---chuck on 9/22/05

I believe it can work both ways, but it should be seen to be from the side of the man. However i believe the lady can influence the man to take a decision because it would be unfair to keep your woman waiting & guessing. Men are afraid of commitment so you should tread carefully when trying influencing the decision.
---runya9977 on 9/22/05

Generally it's the man, but there is no rule that says the woman can't propose. I think in the old days, the man proposed because he was assuming the sole responsibility of providing financially for the woman and any children they might produce. In the modern 2-income family, this is no longer the case.
---Nan on 9/22/05

Biblically the man should propose,because the Bible says a man who finds a good wife finds favour before the Lord
---helen on 9/22/05

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