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Date A Girl Eight Years Younger

I am friends with this girl who is eight years my junior. I think I love her but I ve not asked her out yet. The age gap bothers me. What is your advice?

Moderator - Is she 18 or older; otherwise no.

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 ---Pkay on 9/28/05
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There's an old saying 16 will get you life. Dating, whatever don't do it. Avoid the appearence of evil.
---dan on 2/27/08


Even if she is under 18, it's okay to date if first, she is mature enough to handle dating, and second (most importantly) her parents are okay with it. If not, back off until she's older and you can have the consent of her parents. Dating is fine, but keep the physical aspect in check, and keep God number one. If you're both over 18, don't worry about it. After 18, age gaps don't matter really at all, though it's still best to have parental approval. May God bless you both.
---Josh on 2/26/08


If she is over 18 and fairly mature than fine. But if not keep your distance till she is.
Age differences are not the problem. It is how old they are when you start dating and how mature and responsible you both are. Would she be mature enough to be in a serious relationship for the right reasons?
---Marla on 3/26/07


If she is over 18 and fairly mature than fine. But if not keep your distance till she is.
Age differences are not the problem. It is how old they are when you start dating and how mature and responsible you both are. Would she be mature enough to be in a serious relationship for the right reasons?
---Marla on 3/26/07


Age is not the biggest factor - the ratio is. For example: if the girl is 16 and you are 24, you have a ratio that is too great, but if you are 28 and she is 20, the ratio is smaller. It's O.K. the date even though the age may seem far apart, but don't date if the ratio is too far apart.
---WIVV on 3/28/06




I'm young, so from a younger person's perspective, the biggest thing I'd say is to know what her feelings are on the subject. Sometimes a younger woman will be interested in an older man, and sometimes not. If she's over eighteen and is in favor of stepping up, go for it...otherwise, definitely don't push yourself on her or anything. As with anything, pray and search the Bible about it, too.
---ginge4554 on 11/7/05


Had a believing friend that married a woman from Thailand who was at Case Western Reserver Univ. for her docterate. She was half his age (more than 20 years) and a non-believer coming from a Buddhist background. During the dating period she converted and, since marraige, have moved back to Thailand where they are both teaching and speaking to the people of their Savior.
---David7647 on 10/28/05


I have prayed for years for a Godly wife. Last year I found her and we are about to get married. She is 18 years my junior.
---clark on 10/28/05


well it depends, I like a guy almost 7 years my senior, and im pretty sure that he likes me, we're not dating but we're "talking" I think that you should give you and her a chance cuz if you don;t you'll regret it!! believe me you will! take a chance! ya never know. does she like you 2? have fun!
---angie on 10/13/05


In MY opinion the Lord would not turn his back on you due to an age difference between two consenting adults being united in marriage. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. Who out there can actually CAN say they have followed EACH word in the bible? Not realistic.
---angela on 10/13/05




My wife is 9 years my junior and we will be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary in April of 2006. We both got saved in 1982 and we are very close buds.
---Jack on 10/13/05


With age comes baggage...of all sorts. No pun intended:)
---anon on 10/5/05


, in the old testament, God limits man's years because "my spirit will not contend with man forever". and Jesus said you have to become like a child to be great in heaven. so much for the wisdom coming with age theory.
---steve on 10/4/05


I have to put my two cents in here. I married my husband at 21. He was 30 at the time. We'll be celebrating an awesome 11 years in a couple of weeks. He was the right man then, and always will be. It depends on maturity, and on finding the right person. He'd say the same thing.
---anon on 10/3/05


We do not all mature at the same age or at the same pace. At 21 I was very immature but at 23 I married and at 25 was a mum. I changed a lot between 21 and 23 because I got a job with a lot of responsibility and moved into my own place all in one go. It changed me rapidly which was a good thing. I think many people are not ready for responsibility, marriage or family at 21 but I know some very responsible 18 year old mums as well.
---Xanthi on 10/3/05


Steve, I think that we are both right! The fact is that it depends on the person. For example, I am 33 and I can tell you that I have learned quite a lot since I was 21: experiences, different jobs, girlfriends, etc. Now, I know that a lot of marriages fail no matter how old they are... and that is sad.
---Mark on 10/3/05


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, mark, can you give me an example of someone who wasn't mature enough at 21, but is now? we think of divorce as being due to young age, but then why do second marriages fail more often than first marriages?
---steve on 10/1/05


Alan:
You are right! I guess I was not the one for her. But I do believe that maturity plays a big role here... and at 21 most people are not mature enough.
---Mark on 9/30/05


Mark ...I suspect mark that you friend liked dating you as a potential friend, and exploring whether you wer likely to be suited to each other permanently.
What she then realised that she was not ready for a serious relationship WITH YOU.
This means you were not the right guy for her ... if you had been right, she would have been ready to commit further.
---alan8869_of_UK on 9/29/05


, in my opinion, anyone who is not ready to date at 21 is not going to be ready at 41. yes, this is from what i have observed over the years.
---steve on 9/29/05


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I was on the same situation: my ex-girlfriend was 10 years younger (21) and we didn't have any problem, the relationship worked out fine for over a year. But then she said that she wanted to quit cause she was not ready for a serious relationship. My advice: just realize that she is very young, so she might not be mature enough to handle a serious relationship, which is normal.. at 21 I wasn't either!
---Mark on 9/29/05


My husband is 13 years older than I am. Age really is nothing more than a number when you have faith, love, trust, and a commitment. If she has the qualities your looking for, and you think it would be fun to go out for the night, then why not give it a try. Don't let the age thing get ya. Besides, some of the most mature people I've ever met, are younger than I am.
---krist5495 on 9/28/05


You didn't state your age or the age of the girl. Age is not a big factor, like it use to be. This is not a big age difference - but she has to at least be out of high school before you even think about it. Another factor is are both you and her Christians? (If you are and she's not, then forget it - don't get the idea you can change her later.)
---WIVV on 9/28/05


You need to slow things down and get to know her better. How can you think you love her when you have not gone out yet?

Unless she is under 18, age may not be a problem.
---Annie on 9/28/05


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My wife is 51 and I am 60. We have been together for 30 years. You do the math.
---Peter on 9/28/05


You are both grown up, you are young enough to be her husband.
The only thing you may need to watch is your locl culture (where do you live) and maybe opposition within the families.
---alan8869_of_UK on 9/28/05


She is actually 21.

Moderator - If you are both mature Christians, then it shouldn't matter much.
---Pkay on 9/28/05


Actually depends on the state! I want to say it's Maryland, but it's an eastern state. 16 year olds can leagally have sex, but there are restrictions on that so the man can't be prosecuted. Mostly has to do with how old he is to the girl (no more than 4 years different.

My wife and I are 16 years (she's younger and I am 43) while that might be different in your case, if the girl is leagal in your state, then it shouldn't be a problem.
---Steve on 9/28/05


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