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Divorced And Remarriage Issues

If a couple divorces, and one remarries, what about the new spouse? Are they committing adultry by marrying someone that's been divorced? And if the divorced spouse repents, are they to go back to the first spouse?

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Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer, and anyone marrying one, is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'. Matthew 19:9, 1Corinthians 7:27-28 allow remarriage. Read all the verses presented.
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, 24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27.
---Glenn on 8/16/09

God is against divorce except in very few cases. The answer is yes, to your first question. Spouse too are guilty of adultry. The answer is no on the second question. [Why complicate matters more].
---catherine on 7/10/08

That is why in the RCC Divorce is viewed as an unbreakable bond absolved by death alone.--Emcee on 6/19/08

I guess that explains why someone I know was having an affair with a married, RCC man, who said there was no way he could ever divorce his wife because of his religious beliefs. Yet it did not seem to bother him to have the affair. Strange, I guess adultery is less of a sin than divorce.

I also have a cousin who is Catholic, got married in the RCC and then got divorced and then wanted to re-marry in the Catholic church. She was allowed to remarry in the Catholic church ONLY after she paid a hefty $2,000.00 for the RCC to proclaim her 1st marriage "annulled" aka "absolved". What a farce! Such hypocrisy.
---Holly4jc on 7/10/08

I have studied the scriptures on divorce and
Marriage issues and it's not the easiest subject but is a very valid and important one.

If it is not well researched and understood from the O/T through to the N/T,you can find that you ignore the scriptures and go by here say rather that the bible says.

The last part of your question really has to be resolved from the individuals own merits. If at all possible it's always best to reconcile or remain unmarried.
---Carla5754 on 7/9/08

Lynn, God dont judge you on your feeling, only on the word, according to scripture, second marriage is adultery, point blank, sinners are prospers, so you saying God blessing them too, some killers have millions of dollars, is that blessing from God, NO...
---otis on 7/8/08

I have heard about some Central and South American countries where it is not legal to re-marry after divorce. They have a strong presence of the Catholic church. My understanding is that the divorce rate is very small down there by comparison to the US. Just some food for thought. In my church singles group, 98% of the people over age 30 are divorced. Many split up over "irreconcilable differences" --not adultery. Very few divorced singles in the church today choose to stay single to honor their convictions about the scriptures on adultery. I have high respect for those who do.
---obewan on 7/7/08

Cathy-I agree. Jesus calls marrying after divorce adultery, a sin. I cannot find anywhere in His word that changes marriage to another person after divorce from being adultery to being okay to continue just because we ask for forgiveness. When we ask forgiveness for sin-God requires us to stop the act of sinning, to stop grieving God, in order to be forgiven. I know of no way to be repentant of something, to stop grieving God--yet continue in the same act without change--especially in a scenario where a faithful spouse is praying, forgiving, and wants to reconcile. I know it's a hard word to accept..but I believe that's what His word says without any of the world's compromise and twisting.
---jeff on 7/6/08

My question is. can a man leave a christian wife and chidlren and remarry and then become a christian . Does he still stay with the new wife. I find that that is still committing sin. He married the woman that broke up his marriage. He now says he wants to be a christian but I feel that he can not stay and live in the sin that tore his marriage apart.The bible says go and sin no more. According to the bibe he is still committing adultery. please give thoughts back
---cathy on 7/4/08


You know that Adultery is when a married person has sexual interaction with anyone they are not married to.

only you know if reconciliation is a possibility. If it is then make a go of it if not then one or both are requires to remain single unless death separates, and no if some bright spark jumps up with the notion of murder, that's not permitted either.
---Carla5754 on 6/20/08

Just a note - it is not simply "success in this world" - money was not the issue - It was not a 'life happens' and do not believe that God's 'providence' was the primary factor. The nature of issues here are difficult ones of mental health/psychological problems which resulted in not holding jobs, ignoring responsibilities and getting involved in some things with legal consequence. I guess I just wanted to hear how others have dealt with some of these tough issues. I think adultery would have been easier to deal with, and much simpler! Thank you for your comments.
---Bonnie on 6/20/08

If a couple divorces, and one remarries...the Bible says that is is is sin. According to Bible, the new spouse is committing adultery as well. The Bible also says that if one spouse deliberately disobeys God with the sin of adultery and wrongly marries someone else, they cannot return to their original spouse. How can one truly be repentant about discarding their original marriage/spouse/family for unbiblical reasons, then enter into adultery with a remarriage to someone else--but be regretful of it while still being involved in the sin and other adulterer?
---jeff on 6/20/08

WIVV::Does success in this world by mans standards make it right in the eyes of GodBy His standard.This is left to His Divine Mercy after all, IMHO He is the Author and Giver of life. In the OT Moses spoke of a certificate for separationfor reasons of adultery.That is why in the RCC Divorce is viewed as an unbreakable bond absolved by death alone.
---Emcee on 6/19/08

I understand that if believers divorce for other than adultery, they must remain single/reconcile. I believe,per God's love, such instruction is for my greatest good,though I don't understand. In my divorce -no adultery, my ex had serious problems affecting his work life, and became increasingly difficult. I have a questions not seen addressed: 1) Assuming divorce not allowable for me, and that it's way better for me to remain alone - what is my long term responsibility toward my ex, who who keeps losing all he earns over his entire life? 2) I am open to the idea of reconciliation - but cannot afford to be stupid- requires legal/financial protection. How could reconciliation be genuine when such measures are required?
---Bonnie on 6/19/08

Above every woman is the husband , above the husband is Christ. When the Husband leaves you have Christ. Christ cannot reign with another man as husband one has to leave whilst your husband is alive. Christ is the provider, the way maker, a shelter in the times of a storm, Your deliverer, your comfort, a very present help in this time.

Yes according to the word You are committing Adultery!

When hubby left you were still married to Christ, you were his bride(The Church). There can be only one husband at the wedding(Jesus)+ Hubby(if saved).
---Carla5754 on 6/19/08

remarried to loving man who adores me and kids. First husband abandoned loving family for scandalous woman he refuses to marry. Am I adulterer because he lives? Living on God's grace, the Word tells me live in peace. My husband now is an awesome man who loves me and my children with all his heart and soul. We refuse to give us up / he says we are God's gift to him. We choose to be faithful in our marriage, to each other/for kids. We choose joy. God must separate us Himself if that is what He wants....
---Valora on 6/15/08

Second question first: IF the divorced spouse repents he/she can go back to the divorced person IF neither of them have re-married. Otherwise it would be the case of trying to make two wrongs a right. Now the first question: Based on Matthew 5:32 neither of them can remarry without adultry being involved. But, let me add, I've seen cases where Christian couples who have been divorced and remarried and appear to be very successful the second time around.
---WIVV on 2/20/08

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You know Linda I don't even like quoting re-marriage since only one scripture indicates this is even an option but I submit to the powers that be that say it is wrong to chastise the faithful spouce and I know what is is to be jilted by a loved one, loneliness is real hard. So I have mercy and go along with matt 19. But I am not totally free with saying it, but i certainly understand it! although I was not married I was engaged and refused to love again until I met my one and only hubby.
---Carla5754 on 7/1/07

This is an old question. The question was started in October 2005. Can't the Moderator restate the question, because the way it is stated here sparks the kind of self doubt that I remember suffering with after my wife left me. And I had a Christian friend who misunderstood this issue too, and added to my self-guilt. It was not God's guilt, do you understand, or rightfully mine. Paul suggests to the I Cor. that if an unbelieving spouse departs let them go in peace. And that's it!
---harold on 6/30/07

I too, have wondered if after a divorce, can a Christian woman remarry. In Matthew 19, the only exception in the gospels of being able to divorce your spouse because of adultery, but Jesus doesn't say anything about re-marriage. There is a scripture that says you are only free to remarry if your spouse dies.

---Linda on 6/30/07

Matthew 19

Is based on explaining that you can marry another only if your partner committed fornication, sexual intercourse with someone other than you. If you marry again for any other reason you will commit the sin of adultery not only you but your wife/husband that you divorced. In the beginning this was SO. If you can forgive you are to reconcile OR STAY SINGLE. Corinthians 7:39 you are married until death.
---Carla5754 on 6/28/07

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Paul to Chorinthians: if an unbelieving spouse is unwilling to stay in a marriage, let them go in peace. Then to (re)marry a true believer. I am divorced, but not of my choosing. My wife manipulated me into believing that she was a Christian and she played that role for a number of years, because she had a good life. Once she had started back working, she started up affairs with the men at her new workplace. I tried and prayed to work it out. Forget the fairy tails. Paul said let them go.
---harold on 6/27/07

When Jesus taught on adultery in Matthew, He was refuting what the Pharisees were teaching and practicing about divorce. They were making their innocent wives the victims of adultery, legally they thought. Any innocent spouse in a divorce, and the kids, can tell you that Jesus was giving ample warning that the Jews laws were a crime against God.
---harold on 6/27/07

My opinion is that every Christian worker should have a correct understanding of divorce and remarriage. Since it is now just as prevalent in the Church as in the World, a divorced person who was not the cause of the divorce has a pretty fair chance not to be ostracized anymore. Single adult life is not very rewarding, but living in the house of a shrew is even worse, says Proverbs. Remarry and live with forgiveness.
---harold on 6/27/07

I am so sorry that anyone has had the audacity to suggest that you break up your home. Scripture tells us that Jesus has cast our sins into a sea of forgetfulness if we have repented. I don't know what the circumstances of your husband's previous marriage was, but this is the family you have now and I encourage you to honor God in your marriage and in the raising up of your child. If you don't have peace , ask God to guide your heart and your thoughts and don't forget, his grace is sufficient for you
---Mark on 6/26/07

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I am not too sure so far
---jullian on 3/14/07

My husband was married for 10 months and divorced as an unbeliever. His wife was also an unbeliever. Four years later, he was saved. Then we met and were married. None of our Pastors told us we would be committing adultery if we married. We went to pre-marital counseling at our church. We have been married for almost 10 years and have a 7-year-old daughter. Some churches would ask us to separate completely and for our daughter to live at both places. Our current Pastors say this is wrong.
---Trish on 7/17/06

Lee and Susanna, many Christians do not want to take a wife with children as Lee said, yet I do believe what you say is true Susanna. In the world a divorced person with children has a lot of "baggage". That idea has permeated the church. The truth is, we all have baggage/issues, all are a work in progress. Someone told me recently that if one does not have baggage, they haven't been anywhere. Gave me a laugh
---christina on 4/19/06

In hopes that Mavis of 10/05 boss is still "making" you read these: As the lAST BRAIN CELL FALLS AWAY FROM my brain I am so glad I am not taking time to read a magizine, watch TV for hours on end, gossip on the phone, wasting my time view other sites on a computer (porn, music...) but am here, getting deep and going deep among other things. I am also glad I am not being "made" to do it.
---Alexandra on 4/18/06

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2 Samuel 11:4 And David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness: and she returned unto her house. David was guilty of adultry not Bathsheba. in repentence adultry is forgiven, to remarry is not adultry it is sanctified just like any marriage. God does not like divorce but he forgives he himself is divorced from the Jews and has taken the gentiles as his wife.
---Exzucuh on 4/18/06

Who actually Commits the sin of Adultery? why does Revelation explans that amongst so many other sins Adultery is one of the sins that will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.

With what is said on most of theses Adultery blogs Adulterers have nothing to fear just keep repenting and keep committing Adultery? (God Forbid)
---Carla on 4/18/06

Respectfully Susanne,
The guilty spouse will be going to a lost eternity without repentance, and a complete turn around from the situation, never mimd worrying about them committing fornication...... Huh.... both situations are sinful.
---Carla on 4/18/06

Hello, We are in the New Testament, Jesus Died for us..There are many forms of adultery. This issue is really a (you ask God), personal issue. I'm blessed spiritually beyond measure, in my 2nd marriage.
---Lynn on 1/18/06

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lee would you rather watch a woman go to hell because of fornication simply because nobody in the church would marry her because she had kids? (and the father left her?) God is going to hold each of us accountable for the lives of one another in church
---susanna on 1/18/06

I for one am still a young woman, of couse i need to be married!i am not 80 years old yet you know!i still have hormones!
---susanna on 1/18/06

deut 24:1-4 can't remarry 1st spouse if one of you has married again. I don't know if this is after 2nd spouses death though as this releases vow. I would think that if spouse has married they then commited adultery and you are released of vow.
---Laure5469 on 11/16/05

It's best Christian Seprated wife's or husband's don't get married again.I just think there's more to life then just marriage.If you lived it once,why would you want to live it again?
---nicky on 11/12/05

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susanna - What I am trying to say is that a man may not be willing to take on a ready-made family with its inherent burdens. Blended families have lots of different problems that often are very stressful. The wife may for instance always side with her children against her husband - something very common in blended families.
---lee on 11/8/05

(continuing for lee's statment)
there is too much hypocricy and selfishness in the church regarding who to marry. True christian love is about putting others needs before our own but i see very few doing this and God will hold us accountable.
---susanna on 11/8/05

Take a look in the bible at what it says true christiannity is!
it is to take care of orphans and widows!! for a man to refuse to marry a widow/abandoned woman, simply because she has children is unchristian, and could comdemn the woman to hell, for if she cannot get married she will commit fornication
1corinthians7 1-2
---susanna on 11/8/05

Eloy, thank you for saying what you did. I have had some things said to me that had me wondering if God was as hard hearted as some implyed. this was a very encouraging coment!
---Laure5469 on 11/3/05

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Don't judge a book by it's cover. Too many people judge the surface actions, and not the necessary motivations which caused the published action. All people are not automatically guilty if divorced, many, like myself, are 100% innocent and had to divorce because of necessity. God is not held guilty when a person leaves him to engage in sin, so neither is the faithful spouse ever accountable for the unfaithful spouse whom broke wedlock. As far as remarring your divorced spouse, it's possible.
---Eloy on 11/3/05

1st Corinthians Chapter 7 talkes about marriage. God Bless You ^i^
---Robin on 11/3/05

Alan8869 -".. wish I could meet a Christian widow ... It's been 3 years now ..."

Simply put an ad in the paper or subscribe to one of those lonely hearts clubs, and you will be swamped with inquiries from widows - most of whom will claim they are Christians.
The problem is that many of these Christian widows may also have children and you may not want to help raise someone else's family.
---lee on 10/29/05

Do you people actually have time for this stuff? My boss makes me goes to these Christian Blogs, but I can't imaginge doing this bacause you want to. Do you actually block time out of your day to talk about whether marriage after divorce is adultery or not? The signs of the last christian brain cells just evaporated.

Moderator - Why does you boss make you come here? What country are you from?
---Mavis_Greauphund on 10/20/05

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John ... wish I could meet a Christian widow ... It's been 3 years now ...
---alan8869_of_UK on 10/20/05

Adultry, in my case was the reason for divorcing my wife of twenty two years. I met and married a christian widow in less than two months from doing so, and my life has been blessed ever since.I am trying hard to forgive my first wife who's life now is miserable,but I remarried because "Man is that he should have joy",or in other words be happy. I could live alone for the rest of my life in misery or obey God, I chose the latter, and I feel his love constantly.
---John on 10/20/05

Marla - appreciate our comments. The divorce and re-marriage has been a problem with the church particularly in the election of deacons and elders. Howbeit, over half in all denominations have been divorced and re-married. Some denominations still have restrictions such as the AOG forbids a person serving as a church officer if divorced and re-married after conversion. Thro I believe they will eventually be forced into a more solid scriptural position as they become more educated in biblical exegeses.
---lee on 10/8/05

thank you lee for your post. You said it exactly right. Mnay times the innocent are blamed and held accountable for thier ex spouses acts. Also we are treated as dirty and sinful. My ex abandoned my son and I over 7 yrs ago. But, because I am a single mom now I am supposed to live a life alone because I have already been married. God created us ALL to have love in our lives HE does not punish us for what someone else has already punished us with.
---Marla on 10/8/05

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Christ freed us from the law when he died on the cross. Free to serve him. The whole is not a perfect place. The law is a guide line on how we should live our lives. No one is perfect, that is why he sacrificed his own life, so we may be free. We are also free to re-marry. Christ started doing things differently through Paul.
---geraa7578 on 10/5/05

Beth, I stuggle with that same issue too.
---Ulrika on 10/4/05

This is still an area in which christians prefer to kill their wounded. All too often one has little or no control over events such as a divorce. If the man walks out for another women - who may be your wife, there is very little anyone can do about it. And then, they expect you to raise your kids as a single parent which can be a very tough task. We all too often victimize both the innocent and guilty party by making them second class christians forbidden to use any of the gifts God may have given them.
---lee on 10/4/05

I talked to my pastor about the very same question asked because I was beating my self up after my first husband divorced me for another woman. He told me that it actually depends on the reason of the divorce to if it would be acceptable in God's eyes to marry again. I talked to him for the simple fact I wanted to start dating and possibly getting married again but from the way it said in the Bible it was not acceptable. So I would say it depends on the cause of the divorce.
---Beth on 10/3/05

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i think its too legalistic.
Jesus replied legalistic to the legalistic question.
In reality i think its simple
If ur christian, dont divorce. If you are christian and divorce, don't remarry.
If u are not christian and divorce then later become a christian, you should probably not remarry or perhaps do reconciliation if possible.
---David on 10/3/05

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after fer fath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
---Ulrika on 10/3/05

Brian does have most of it right except that he gives the impression that just about every divorce is the man's fault. I don't agree with that one bit.
---ralph7477 on 10/3/05

Brian, thanks for putting it into perspective.
---Ulrika on 10/3/05

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Brian, your response gives me the impression you've been reading Karl Duff's books. Good preaching, Brother!
---DoryLory on 10/3/05

Matthew 5:32 \ 19:9
Mark 10:11 \ 12:25
1Cor. 7:10,11
---Ulrika on 10/3/05

You do not commit adultery by marrying a divorced person.... in the old testeament God told moses that divorce was permitted becuase of the hardness of men's hearts... and the problem was then that divorce was easy and fast to get... i.e. go down to the market, write out a bill of divorcement and you are done.
---brian on 10/3/05

Seriously though, in our society marraiges break up for all sorts of reasons, usually because of the men are not exercising headship where they would die for their spouse, and the spouse is not submitting to the man due to lack of loving sacrifice on the part of the man. Our society tells us to be our own person, do our own thing, be who WE want to be... where is the still small voice of God?
---brian on 10/3/05

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splitting hairs on a camel's hair. What did Jesus say was adultery? I'll answer it for you.... looking with lust at a woman/man who is not your spouse.
---brian on 10/3/05

First off, God hates divorce, we all know that, but it was only available for the hardness of our hearts.I would be sure that the couple involved is biblically free of the marriage before, before I dared to tread there with another.Noway God can go aginst his own word. SEEK COUNSEL
---jadi on 10/3/05

Yes to both. If you have a living spouse and you remarry it is adultery. If your spouse has passed away you are then free to remarry. Everybody has thier own interpretation of the scriptures. Seek God sincerely about this and see what HE tells you.
---nia on 10/3/05

If one of the spouses comits adultry, the other spouse biblically is not held responisble, so they are wiped clean for future marriages, however if they both just leave the marriage w/o biblical reasoning then eys both are held responsible.
---candice on 10/3/05

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