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Can A Christian Marry An Agnostic

I am 25 and have been dating the most wonderful guy for the last 3 years. I am a christian and he is agnostic. He treats me so wonderful and there is not a bad bone in his body, he respects my faith. He wants us to get engaged, can I marry an unbeliever and continue to lead him toward salvation?

Moderator - The Word of God says no. In addition the Word of God states a Christian shouldn't be dating a nonbeliever in the first place. Please read II Corinthians 6:14-15.

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I'm replying to the blog question I agree with the word of God but we are still call to lead other to Christ, and help them to understand that they must believe that God is and that he is a rewarder of thoughs that seek him.
---sara on 4/19/10

Glenn and the moderator are correct, however he principle issue here is not judgment but desire. I am baffled because you have no common ground in truth with this man and your spirit correctly should remain unsettled.
Seek God's face not his blessing and the rest will take care of itself.
---larry on 2/25/10

To someone in this situation:
1Corinthians 7:12-15 does not 'trump' 2Corinthians 6:14-18. An unsaved person may (or may not) through the influenced of a believing mate, receive the Lord. Yet, there is a difference between two non believers marrying (one then converting to Christianity) and a Christian deliberately marrying a heathen. If a person does not put ones trust in the Lord, you can not expect to see God's influence in his / her life. Also, Romans 3:10-4:25, "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one"...
Red 2/25, please pray for wisdom, re-read 1Corinthians, and ask a knowledgeable mature Christian man about this subject.
---Glenn on 2/25/10

The question automatically comes up.. would your head of church marry the two of you? If he would without leading him to Christ, he violates Christ! If the leader does not ask, after he was lead and accepted the Lord, to have you wait, he is not right with the Lord. There is a war that is spiritual and much more violent than the physical war with the flesh. A Christian that marries a non-Believer starts from trouble.. day one. If you go against this advice and others here, ask for prayer as you will need much.
---Virgil on 2/25/10

if you read first corinthins it says that if a man who is not a believer agrees to live with you then marry him and bring holiness to the marriage and your children
---red on 2/25/10

Im agnostic and im also having this problem, because im not saved we both cannot get married even though we love each other so i did research myself. Soo many people take the bible too literally and i dont believe it was meant that way. Why? there are some parts of the bible that says women are not allowed to speak in the church. i believe God does love all and wishes us happiness. If this guy makes you happy i would say go for it. Im sure many will reply saying not to listen to me because i am Agnostic but this is just what i think i hope you don't give him up just because everyone here is saying so. Just know the Lord wants you to be happy and if he makes you happy then he is the one. Who knows you may never find another guy like him
---Matthew on 12/31/09

Afraid I have to agree with the moderator since you have already begun to date him it is too bad since if you obey God you will experience some pain at seperation.God will help you through it and in the future if you date only Christians you will find the one right for you in God's will.You can continue to pray for your friend and you should be honest with him and tell him why and that you were wrong.Being christian isn't always easy but worth it.
---shirley on 11/3/09

The Bible says a lot of things that aren't relevant in todays society(slavery, stoning children, etc.). If you truly love this man you should marry him. God loves all of his children equally and would never want to come between love. If God wanted all of us to be the same, why would he make us all so different?
---Ti on 11/3/09

no true christian will want to disobey God... because we love Him, we do not find his commandments burdensome. we know they are for our own good

now how will it feel to have satan as your in-law? satan tells the one what to do and Jesus tells the other what to do .... chaotic marriage.... unless both are listening to the same source without knowing

so which source is it? when we want to agree on something. do we take it from scriptures or agnostic views?


what kind of walk will that be? walk of disagreement or what?

each one wants the other to change his believes....hahaha interesting ho!!
---patie3447 on 9/25/09

you have been dating an unbeliever for three years and are now asking if you could marry him?

thought you should have asked first before you started datin him at all?

I believe you know what the Bible says... do not put us to the test on this blog unnecessarily since your mind is already made up anyway

but who knows you may find what you actually want here.... someone who will agree with you to disobey the Christ....

I am not too sure you are a christian yourself
---patie3447 on 9/25/09

---christlovesmedespite I agree that I am arrogant. I agree that Christ died for believers and unbelievers.

But I also understand that unbelievers refusal to accept Christ undying love puts him outside of the family of God. Another words LOST and headed to hell. I am a old man and I constantly have women tell me about husband that refuse to to come to a saving knowledge of Lord Jesus Christ. The men were lost when they married them and their lost now.

The Bible says to guard well your affections for they effect all the rest of your life. Watch out and do not be unequally yoked together!!!!
---mima on 9/24/09

M.P. I think you and many on this blog are ignorant. I love Jesus Christ with all my being because he died for believers and non-believers alike. Non-believers are not exempt from his mercy, grace, and most of all undying love. His resurrection is proof of his commitment to all humans.
---christlovesmedespite on 9/22/09

In the meantime dare anyone judge the level of faith and commitment that this woman has to God due to her choices in an Agnostic mate. My relationship with God is personal and intimate and really has no room for the outside babbling interpretation of already imperfect beings. Be respectful my brothers and sisters, the almighty is watching your actions as well. Oh and you may want to put down those stones while you're at it.
---christlovesmedespite on 9/22/09

What is to be done if you have always loved God but had no religious training until after marrying an agnostic? The marriage is miserable. Divorce is a sin. Being married to him is a sin (even though I didn't know it when I married him).
---Natasha on 5/6/08

David7647,I 2 have been dating a wonderful guy who is an agnostic, N though things have been going well,even w/ our calm continuous debates over our beliefs, I know the road could prove 2 B tulmultuous. I would like 2 know what sufficient evidence in the Scriptures 2 direct him too. He is very intelligent and have gotten to where he is "Agnostism" fr reading and researching. I have given him the book A Cast for Christ, and The Language of God, yet I feel he needs more. What would U suggest?
---Roaring on 1/15/08

I myself am struggling with the same thing. Corinthians 6:14 says no, however, reading 1 Corinthians 7:13-16 offers a different response, which is yes, because who knows what the future holds? You might turn him in years to it. It is worth a look
---katie on 1/6/08

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the Word of God says not to be yoked with unbeievers.
---Faith on 12/20/07

The moderator is correct.
The word of God warns about this in both testaments many times.
---Frank on 12/18/07

In a word No. The Bible is very specific about this. You should not be unevenly yoked. Most people will twist that verse to mean that you shouldn't marry people of other races, which isn't true. Moses was married to a woman of a different race. It means that you should not marry someone who does not share your faith. I have friends, that were from two different religions and it caused no end of problems until one converted to the other's faith, and they had be married 20 years.
---Flo on 12/18/07

SURE, the main thing is that he is good to you, to each his own in matters of faith.
---don on 12/17/07

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Brian there is no mention of any partying with friends going on in hell. Wailing and gnashing of teeth doesn't sound like fun to me. It is described as a bottomless pit and dark. Read Revelation 9, 11, 17 & 20 There is a strong probability that you will not be able to see another solitary soul so, regardless of how many millions are there, you might just as well be on your own.
---M.P. on 3/3/06

Thanks for the compliment!

Remember in studying differing religions, the doctrine of non-contradiction. That is, something can not be both A and NOT A at the same time.

Eastern religions embrace contradictions, but not Biblical Christianity. The internal consistancy of Scripture as well as Christianity gives me great comfort.

All religions can be broken down into two words: DO or DONE. Either one does things to get into heaven, or else relies on what Jesus has done. Understand?
---John_T on 3/2/06

John, Thanks for the book reference, respect! Although I have studied Christianity plenty and now putting alot of time into Buddism and Taoism. But if I have time i will check it out.

M.P. thanks for your concern, but really I don't believe that. If you do thats cool. But if by a chance the Christian idea of God is correct and I am condemmed to hell, then I will be chillin' out with all my buddist, taoist, hindu, agnostic, muslim, etc. friends... So no fear of being alone ;)
---brian on 3/2/06

Brian your statement "I do not believe in heaven and hell and the idea of a consious afterlife is extremely doubtful, but should there be one I will deal with it then.." is very worrying. When you reach this afterlife there will be notbing for you to deal with. You will be there, against your wishes FOR ETERNITY. You do not have to be, whilst living in your earthly body you still have a choice but, remember, none of us know when that will end. Don't think you have endless time. That comes later.
---M.P. on 3/2/06

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Thanks for your integrity staying here; it seems to be a strong part of your character. Therefore I repeat:

Here's a book to read, "Testimony of the Evangelists" by Simon Greenleaf. He wrote the still-used standards for federal evidence being admitted in court, and he applies the same rigorous standards to the Gospels.

If you are concerned with integrity, here is where to look.

BTW Christianity is incredibly invigorating, and intellectual, not stifiling.
---John_T on 3/2/06

...if that happens I will be very saddened by the fact that faith in something that is supposed to be good has destroyed something that absolutly exists and IS truely good. That there is the work of the human ego and that is what the concept of original sin represents.
---Brian on 3/2/06

I understand that marriage may be hard, that is why we are still taking things slow (4 years later). She used to think I would "find God" and I used to think she would eventually stop believing fairy tales. We both know that will not happen, and if we cannot make one another happy while having different beliefs then we may need to part...
---Brian on 3/2/06

And because of my own conviction and love for the Lord, our relationship has changed dramatically. How can someone who lives (or is supposed to live) for Christ, even think about marrying someone who does not think that. I would question whether your girlfriend really is a Christian (meaning that you recognize that the Lord died for you personally and believing it completely through faith).
---Harm on 3/2/06

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Brian, I know from following your conversation that you have strong convictions about what you believe. But as someone who recieved Christ as Savior about a half a year ago, and being married to a professing athiest, I now know that being a Christian and living with someone who does not believe in God is something that is causing us a lot of pain. But I can't walk away from my own faith, becuase I know from personal experience and conviction that the Lord Jesus died for me. (contd.)
---Harm on 3/2/06

I married a guy ten years ago who said he believed in God, but was not a practicing Christian. He went to church with me (reluctantly], and after we got married, stopped. I go by myself every week. Now I am stuck in this marriage because divorce is a sin. I try to love him even though I am not IN love. If you truly love the Lord, DO NOT marry someone who is not saved! Eventually, it could ruin your life.
---Rae on 3/2/06

...I am OK with the fact that I will wander thru this life without a definitive belief system. This allows me explore new ideas and to change my preceptions of life on the fly. My only certianity is that I am uncertian about the future, Faith in Chaos is my motto. Does that shed light onto my situation?
---Brian on 3/2/06

I am responsible to my self and the rest of humanity. As far as my conviction is concerned, I live by the idea that I am a mere human that obviously came from the same source as the rest of existance, but I do not claim to know what that source is, nor do I think that knowladge is obtainable at this time. I do not believe in heaven and hell and the idea of a consious afterlife is extremely doubtful, but should there be one I will deal with it then...
---Brian on 3/2/06

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Brian ... what is your conviction? You have told us what you do not believe, but not what you do believe, unless you believe you are totally self-sufficient and responsible only to and for yourself. But that does not tie in with your acceptance that there is a possibility that there is a God
---alan8869_of_UK on 3/2/06

continued... I understand that you are trying to help me in your eyes, but my journey is a personal one. If by chance there is an afterlife like you say, I will stand before my creator and speak the truth. He can then lay his decision aupon me and I will accept that, for my conviction is that strong!
---Brian on 3/2/06

I respect beliefs and give credit for your integrity. But you need to see that I WAS a christian, but left because I felt a need to pave my own path thru life and I felt held back by my christian beliefs. If they work for you, thats great, respect! But they don't work for me, and I go into this with no fear. I am a loving careing being (much like your view of God) and I am steadfast with my convictions and live and die by them, much like Jesus, Mohammad, and Siddhartha Gautama.
---brian on 3/2/06

Brian ... you say: "If heaven is just that then it does not sound like a place I want to be" Is like what?
"There is more to life then reward and punishment" Which life are you talking about?.
---alan8869_of_UK on 3/1/06

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I did not read your post carefully enough before I said what I did. What I said is true but possibly not the best response to what you wrote.

There is something called Pascal's Gambit. It goes like this:
---Bruce5656 on 3/1/06


You may believe in God, and if God exists, you go to heaven: you gain everything.

You may believe in God, and if God doesn't exist, you have lost nothing.

You may not believe in God, and if God doesn't exist, you have lost nothing.

You may not believe in God, and if God exists, you will go to hell: YOU LOOSE EVERYTHING.
---Bruce5656 on 3/1/06

From there the question is, what does it mean to believe in God? As we have seen in my previous message to you even the devils believe God exists but it will do them no good.
---Bruce5656 on 3/1/06

Jesus said: John 3:15-18, "That whosoever BELIEVETH IN HIM should not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
---Bruce5656 on 3/1/06

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He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God."

When asked, What must I do to be saved? Paul said Acts 16:31, " Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved..."

As I said before, believing is more than a mental assent to the facts. It is a belief that takes action based on that truth.
---Bruce5656 on 3/1/06

It is the kind of belief that you have as you drive down the road on a foggy night, unable to see very far ahead and you do not slow down when you approach a bridge that you cannot see. Because you BELIEVE it is there. That is the kind of belief in God that is a saving belief. To believe that God has provided for our salvation and to desire to accept His offer of the GIFT of eternal life.
---Bruce5656 on 3/1/06

Psalms 34:8, "O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him."

You say that you would not want to have a place in Heaven. The alternative is Hell. How does that sound? Matthew 25:41, "Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:" This is what you need saving from.
---Bruce5656 on 3/1/06

You miss the point when you compare yourselves with others; each of us stand before God on his own.

Knowing you may reject that, I offer a book for you to read, "Testimony of the Evangelists" by Simon Greenleaf. Buy on line <$9. He wrote the still-used standards for federal evidence being admitted in court, and he applies the same rigorous standards to the Gospels.

If you are investagative, or intelligent, you will discover new things.
---John_T on 3/1/06

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Brian, from this and your previous postings I seriously doubt the salvation of your girlfriend. She is giving you a false sense of security talking about your good morals like that. That is works and we are not saved by works but by the shed blood of Jesus. "There is more to life then reward and punishment." you say. You need to bear in mind that the NEXT life will last a lot longer than this one (for EVER to be exact). You BOTH need to ensure that you are heading for the right place.
---M.P. on 3/1/06

Simply believing in the existence of God is not enough.
James 2:19, "Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble."
Obviously then there is more to believing than mental assent.
Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death; but THE GIFT OF GOD is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
A gift is not yours untill you accept it. This does not happen by accident or by association but by personal choice.
---Bruce5656 on 3/1/06

Notice in John chapter 3 Jesus told Nicodemus that he had to be "born again" or more litteraly born from above. Jesus drew a comparison to this spritual birth to natural birth. The spiritual birth is as real and specific as is natural birth. If you have not been born again (born from above) you will be lost in eternity.
---Bruce5656 on 3/1/06

Sure my girlfriend would love to see me "saved", but there is nothing I need saving from. As she has said many times that I have better morals then most christians. I don't accept the concept of heaven and hell, and if God would want to punish me for not subscribing to Dogma, then so be it! If heaven is just that then it does not sound like a place I want to be. There is more to life then reward and punishment.
---brian on 3/1/06

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2. If your girl-friend isn't worried about you going to hell she is probably not really saved herself. If she were truly a Christian she would want you to find Christ as your Saviour more than anything else in the world.
---M.P. on 2/27/06

1. This 'trivial' difference is anything but trivial. There are Christian parents with unsaved children whom they long to see saved and Christian children with unsaved parents whom they long to see saved (the end being very close for some of them). I can totally understand you being happy having a Christian girlfriend but I cannot understand her being happy having an unsaved boyfriend. Saved girls often think they can 'save' their boyfriend. It rarely happens and often she becomes a back-slider.
---M.P. on 2/27/06

Brian;At 25,you have met a lady of your dreams, the only deterant, is your belief, as an admitted Agnostic. This is a very big issue & will cause your feelings to change in time -Oh! you may say no, but it is true the 2 words- unequaly yolked- sets you apart I would pray for guidance & do not rush into this relationship, but rather prepare your self for guidance, what you cant see- Does exist, & will make you change your outlook.This change will bring you happiness & everlasting joy.
---MC on 2/27/06

Brian, see what Mod has said. You see to a Christian, it is a matter of great importance, greater than our life here or our happiness here. An agnostic friend of mine has said if I can't find a Christian lady, find someone else. But if I married and loved someone, how could I deal with knowing that the person I loved was not going to join me in heaven?
---alan8869_of_UK on 2/27/06

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I'm Agnostic with a Christian girlfriend of 4 years. So much destruction in the world has been by religious and other differences. We are doing our best to bridge the gaps and show that true human love can prevail. Enjoy your relationship and don't let the dogmatic rubbish cloud your judgement. If there is a benevolent entity, I'm sure it would want to see you happy and doing the right thing which IS NOT segregating yourself from other because of trivial differences!

Moderator - To a true Christian, it is not a trivial difference as to whether one will spend their eternity in heaven or hell.
---brian on 2/27/06

I strongly agree with Toni. Also the john that is a pastor has a very good post concerning this. Don't let your desire to be married override good (Christian) judgment.
---mima on 2/19/06

John your relationship might seem to be fine right now but if your girlfriend is truly a Christian (rather than just a churchgoer) it will not remain fine. Many people who are not Christians do give themselves this title. If she really is a Christian though she is unequally yoked and disobeying God's Word. At some point this is going to go wrong. I pray that soon you will BOTH come to the love the Lord with all your hearts.
---M.A. on 2/19/06

I've been dating a christian girl for 2 years now, Im not religous at all, I believe in god, just not in one certain religion, our relationship is fine.
---john on 2/19/06

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Your differing philosophies on the nature of existence don't need to cause confliction in your marriage. Truth is undisputable. If you can show him the truth, he will understand. If he understands, he will invariably follow God. All the naysayers seem to think that anyone who doesn't believe in God is evil or unapproachable about the subject. Just don't force anything down his throat and be patient. Ask God for help. I'm sure he'll be more than happy to help you lead a fellow soul to his glory.
---Anthony on 2/14/06

That would be unwise.
---Eloy on 2/12/06

Marrying him would be like marrying the devil - nothing but bad things will happen!
---Harlequin on 2/12/06

You are totally decieved if you think you will get along. When hard times come he will turn to a different place than you for help. In raising children he will have other philosophies. I've been in ministry for 20 years and have never yet seen an unequal marriage survive.You should win him to the Lord and make sure of his salvation before you continue your relationship. You say he's a nice guy but God says he's the son of the devil until he gets saved.
---john on 12/19/05

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Be ye Not unequally yoaked..Gods Word is Truth.
---Lynn_Bedford77 on 12/18/05

If you are a born-again Christian, that means you were filled with the Holy Spirit at the time you received Christ. If unsaved, your boyfriend does not have the same Spirit of God dwelling in him. Therefore, you can't have the oneness in marriage as taught in the Bible. That's why the Word of God says don't be unequally yoked. God wants to give you a mate that brings you closer to Him. The husband is called to be the spiritual leader in the home and by God's design has spiritual authority over his wife.
---Toni on 12/18/05

I understand exactly how you feel. Not long ago, I was tempted to begin a relationship with an agnostic, however I prayed about this man and I believe he was removed from my life to prevent future pain. I agree with the previous responders--clearly this man needs to be lead to the Lord before marriage, otherwise, you're asking for heartache and stress in the future. Remember, God gives us free will, however when you stray from His words, beware of the fall...
---special_k on 11/21/05

You shouldn't be with this guy in the first place....the Bible says do not be yoked with unbelievers. He can pull you down in a heartbeat.
---wes on 11/1/05

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The principle danger of a Christian marrying a non believer or an agnostic is that the non believing spouse can cause you to waver in your faith. Its not beneficial to be unequally yoked. Like the Bible says: What has the light in common with darkness?
---clark on 11/1/05

Don't really believe the Bible tells us to "date" in the first place. Prefer the idea of courtship to dating.

Being an agnostic does not mean that he does not believe in God, it means that he has no knowledge of God.

Do not force anything down his throat, you can work with this if he is willing to look into and study. If you need some ideas of what to suggest to him, please ask. He may simply want sufficient evidence that Scripture is correct.
---David7647 on 10/30/05

The bible tells us do not be unequally yolked. Sweetie, you shouldn't even be dating him still. Remember, you cannot change anyone!! So, dont think that you can lead him anywhere or think that he will change.
---Cyndi on 10/11/05

Of course you can...there is nothing to stop you from legally becoming husband & wife...but God says no. Lead this wonderful guy to the Lord first, then marry him. It'll make all the difference.
---Ann5758 on 10/7/05

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Sweetie, You can marry anyone you want, but you could end up becoming the most miserable person anyone could ever hope not to meet. God would want you to serve Him with your mate. It this guy really loves you, he will go to church and open his mind to what God has to say there, just to get close to you. If he won't go, you may want to rethink the relationship. Sorry, but it is difficult to do.
---Julie3763 on 10/6/05

What is so "wonderful" about him if he can't even decide if there is a God or not?
DON'T marry him! He will only pull you down and weaken your faith. How would you raise children, Godless and confused?
How can a Christian woman even love a man who is not under God's authority? Drop him like a bad transmission sis.
---NVBarbara on 10/6/05

You love everything about the outside of this man,but what is on the inside is missing.Unless he is saved marriage should be out of the question.Pray about it and God will will either open or close that door
---missy on 10/6/05

Forget it! A Christian should only marry another Christian. If you think you can influence him for Christ, and havn't done it in 3 years, you aren't going to do it once you are married. While from a legal view, you can marry him, but based on the Bible you can't. While this may sound harsh - leave him now!
---WIVV on 10/5/05

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If you trust God so much then why not lead this guy to the Lord and then marry him?
First things First my dear if you want a happy long marriage.
To go like you are going it would be better to play in gasoline with matches than to marry an unbeliever.
If you marry this guy while he is unsaved don't ever complain about anything that happens in the marriage.
---Eler on 10/5/05

I'm glad that he is such a wonderful man, but no, you should not marry him. God said we should not be unequally yolked (a believer married to a non-believer). Do continue to lead him toward salvation though.
---Melissa on 10/5/05

You are joking, right?
---chioma on 10/5/05

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