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When To Stop Praying For Wife

My wife divorced me before she got saved. After she was saved, we tried to work things out for 3 yrs. Now she is sleeping with another man and says she loves him. When do I stop praying and hoping we can reconcile? I can't live like this, it's killing me.

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 ---Ron on 10/7/05
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Ron, you first asked, "when should you stop praying?" that was in 10/7/05, now we ask you, "When did you stop praying?" since it's been a long time now.
In my case I never stopped praying for my wife. I prayed for God's will to be done for my life and for hers. I knew what I wanted, but didn't know what God had in store for my life. I believe we should always pray for the person, whether they come back or not, if we really love them. And even though they hurt us, we should always think of the best for them in their lifes.
---Mark_V. on 2/29/12


//When do I stop praying and hoping...?//

when you thought of not praying anymore.

we reconcile to the Father. whatever happens as a result of that reconciliation will happen.

if you can't live like that, then don't. you are not predestined to a life of misery. you are called to overcome. your life might not go as you like, but you can change it through reconciliation to the Lord.
---aka on 2/28/12


The Holy Spirit is the one who will teach you all things.
---Happieme28 on 2/25/12


Im sorry to hear that. Im in a similar position also. What you need to do is the hardest thing to do. Stop looking for answers from people. Ask God for His help, and wait. His answer is the only one that matters. In the meantime, life doesnt stop. Focus on your relationship with the Lord, focus on your career, and find hobbies to take your mind off of your circumstances. Get into a support group like Celebrate Recovery. It helps take your mind off the pain when you are helping others in pain. it also helps to see others are in similar circumstances and know you are not alone. God is always there, even when you cant see Him.
---corey on 2/22/12


Ron, if you are still out there can you please let us know what happen between you and your ex.? Did she marry the other guy? And when did you stop praying for her?
---Mark_V. on 12/22/11




Psalms 28:14 "Wait patiently for the Lord"...easier said than done but worth the wait. God Bless!
---Frank on 12/18/11


You are divorced from her. The marriage is over. It is clear that she doesn't care for you. Forget her and make a life for yourself.
---Elder on 11/27/10


I had a sunday school teacher once whose wife left him broken-hearted. He even argued his case before the judge but to no avail. While the hurt really goes deep, you are not alone in your experience.

Try to always look forward and not backwards.

Php. 3:13-14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
---leej on 11/27/10


You never stop praying for reconciliation unless she gets married again.

I feel for ya brother. Ive been there many times myself. Theres always someone to help you forget about a past love. I would suggest dating someone else and see how she reacts. If she still loves you at all youll know it. Dont assume our heavenly Father cant bring you someone youll love even more and someone who'll love you back this time. He doesnt want you to suffer over her.

Im not a woman but it seems to me that the more we want reconiliation with them the less they want it with us. Its like a game of cat and mouse. Its sad to say but those old high school games are still in effect for people of their 30s and 40s.
---JackB on 11/27/10


when to stop praying for her ? Never. PUSH. Pray Until Something Happens...
---felicia on 11/27/10




I don't know that I would ever stop praying for her. You love her, and you want her. I'm in a similar situation and my heart is torn, but you have to pray in hope
---adam_ross on 6/20/10


Never!!! Look at it this way, who can hinder your prayers? You first and Your wife second! If you truly have her in your best interest then you truly have you in your best interest! Pray with out ceasing!
---TJ on 11/13/09


i was in similar situation (he had affair, denied it for several months-so much went on). i had to decide what i didn't want in order to decide what i did want. I didn't want a divorce, but in reality, we were divorced already because our relationship was destroyed,living in the same house, but not being a family, dealing with my children's feelings towards their father. day came when i told him if he didn't want to be married to me, let's get divorced and get on with our lives. i am still with him and am working on letting God restore my marriage to my husband.
Seek God in this and he will lead and guide you and show you the path. He will give you the grace to stand in a difficult time. He did me. My prayers are with you.
---jodollie on 11/11/09


Three in bed is sin. If your right hand offend you, cut her off, it's better that you enter into the joy of the Lord with one hand then to have all your body cast into hell.
---Eloy on 11/3/09


To anyone in a similar station:
God forgives sin, but there are consequences for ones' actions. Practically speaking, the preparation for a Godly relationship is made more difficult for those people. It is proper though to consider the past relationships, repent, apologize as needed, break the 'soul ties' (or longing for other people), and renew ones' mind. Deliverance is sometimes needed. If you are not disqualified to marry, start afresh and learn Gods' way of doing things, before remarrying.
2Corinthians 5:1-21, Ephesians 4:17-32, Colossians 3:1-17.
---Glenn on 11/2/09


Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer, and anyone marrying one, is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'. Matthew 19:9, 1Corinthians 7:27-28 allow remarriage.
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, 24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27-28.
---Glenn on 11/2/09


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Being called means you are called by God into the ministry. Being saved means you have obeyed the Gospel unto salvation. All ministers are called but only a few are chosen to operate in the authority of an apostle or (one who is sent) It does not mean they are bad or have no purpose. They operate in the gift of their calling. They do not have exsousia authority to do miracles and signs.
Matthew 10:1 And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them
POWER-(exsousia)- against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.
---exzucuh on 10/31/09


YOUR WIFE WAS NEVER SAVED. Perhaps only called. As difficult as it may be, "you must forget her". You can still have a good life.
---catherine on 10/29/09


There was a time a group of us were praying at a particular time in 1 day of each week for God to change the mind of a woman in similar situation. After about 3 weeks that we started the Lord revealed to us, " I DO NOT FORCE MYSELF ON PEOPLE". So we changed our prayer point to "May God's will be done in the life of this woman". Check out these verses of the Bible, Amos3:3, Jer.3:1. Man can advise but it is the Lord can give you the tailor-made solution that best meets your need, please pour your heart to the Lord on this matter 1Sam.1:15.
---Adetunji on 10/26/09


wow, Well my husband is not a christian and I can relate. He cheated on me in the past and now I am really not happy even though i forgave him. I feel like i cant trust him and want to divorce. It is so sad
---tanya on 10/25/09


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I am going thru same situation wife left me after 12 years,lost home,business fell apart,abandoned.I never quit praying for my wife,she left church and had to find herself,still bitter in life.I still pray daily for her and that God will reconcile our marriage,but first that she wakes up and gets herself right with God.Look at Clint and Peggy Bragg testimonial on the internet,boy that is powerful.I will always pray for my wife because I love her from the heart.If God
has a different plan time will tell,I since forgiven my wife,took a load off,I am not bitter,I know I can't control any surprises that she may do,but that's life,once you do the forgiveness,good night peaceful sleeping returns.
---Lenn on 5/6/09


I have been in this situation too before, We all know God does not desire for us to divorce, and also God has called us into peace and if your spouse is unsaved and desires to leave you are free. Never cease to pray, ever, you could be on the edge of a breakthough, the devil desires us to think God is not hearing us, or responding but that is a trick of the enemy, God truly does specialize in impossible situations,but when you pray leave it there, DO NOT LET IT CONSUME YOU! God will aswer you and it is possible that this might not be His will for you. You just have to trust that no matter how it works out God is in control, and you have to listen for that still voice for direction. Let God take care of you!
---Addie on 11/13/08


what in the world! stop praying and live your life. obviously praying isn't helping. be strong and move on!
---camilleboussard on 11/13/08


I am in the same situation as you. My Christian wife divorced me 12 days ago after 11 months of seperation and 10 yrs of marriage w/ 2 small children. After a few months she was in another relationship. I suffer from grief and depression but I continue to pray for His strength, wisdom, peace and joy. The divorce is not God's will yet He has to give us freedom to choose Him. I read the Bible, I pray God show mercy on our X's and that He send angels to them and the children. I had put my wife ahead of Christ. Just put Christ first. The pain is excruciating, I know. I still cry. I loose faith, but I stay in church and praise Him. Daily, I just try to pick up my cross, follow and repent.
---Bill on 11/12/08


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Wow!This is EXACTLY what I'm going through-only it's 2 years and my wife was a Christian prior and during marriage/now not leading a very Christian life at all-feel like she wants to turn 'christian life' back on like a switch-only according to HER rules, example- adultery/fornication is okay. She's been sleeping with different guys since our divorce-never alone more than a few weeks. If we were married, and the divorce was for totally unbiblical reasons...if she gets her relationship with God 'right' again...doesn't God say He wants to restore marriage and family? Not just discard it and start with some new guy...isn't that adultery?? I just don't see where when we ask for forgiveness of sin...we're allowed to end the committments we've made before God to others and then make new committments, as in marriage, to someone else...especially if the spouse you wrongly left is a Christian.
---jeff on 6/18/08


You should never stop praying for someone, but you sound like you are asking God to get you back together, this may not be God's will, or maybe she wasn't truely save. Pray for her salvation and right relationship with God.
---Rev_Herb on 6/18/08


A similar parallel incident happened to me. I was in a monogamous sexual relationship for a year with a very good female friend of mine. She left me for another man and although she already started sleeping with him, I was praying to get back with her and marry her for good. It was all I thought about and I was in a suicidal depression. I was in a state of unbearable anguish until finally I asked a strong christian (my mom) to pray for me to help me move on and find a future wife.
---Jason_Lee on 4/25/07


As hard as this may sound but I believe you need to let go of your wife and move on. You do not deserve to be with someone who cannot be faithful to you. I have been in the same situation myself and so I can speak from experience. It is a tough thing to let go but with alot of prayer and God's strength you can get passed this and move on to have a happy life again. God bless you in this.
---Michelle on 4/12/07


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Ron...If she is saved, and she is sleeping with another man and is not married to him, she is not bearing the fruits of Christ. Perhaps you should pray for her relationship with Jesus, and when she gets that right, maybe then God will bring you two back together.
---wes on 11/3/05


Ron, I have looked at your question and like many here, I too believe that you must never stop praying for her. Even if she never comes back. Our love is unconditional. I know how you feel because we are all human and have humans emotions. You feel bad because you know that someone else is putting their arms around her and it is not you. But there are certain things we have no control over. You have your life, live it for Christ. That is more important then anything. Everything else will work out.
---Lupe2618 on 10/18/05


Never stop praying for your ex-wife, however it you may need to change the way you pray for her. It may also be time for you to move on as well.
---geraa7578 on 10/10/05


Please keep praying for this woman, the Lord may have a plan for her yet. As for her not being a christian as previously mentioned by another on here. Only God has the right to judge that. Christians aren't perfect and are only human. Now that I agree with what she's doing, but we can't call a person not a christian because this person has sinned.
---Ally on 10/8/05


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Ron: I did not stop praying for reconciliation till my ex remarried. It was three years from the time he moved out till his wedding day. I prayed and did not date till then. Once he was remarried, I was free to move on.
---Madison on 10/7/05


if she is a christian she would not be SLEEPING with a man outside of marriage and she should of done everything in her power to reconcile with you after becoming a christian! Christians do not have sex outside of marriage, your x wife is not a christian.
---susanna on 10/7/05


Never stop praying for her. Just remember that, sometimes, God's answer to a prayer is "no," and live your life believing that God always knows what and when is best.
---Heather on 10/7/05


Ron, Never stop praying for her. Once your mind is off this woman you will see that God has something better in store for you. If another man is sleeping with the woman you want then that may indicate that she is not right for you. Trust GOD and he will see you through, I promise if you don't believe me test it out for yourself.
---Eric on 10/7/05


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