Best thing that ever happened to me was my split from an atheist boyfriend! He was also narsacistic and mentally abusive and I was very vulnerable at the time. Thank God we're through and I now have a wonderful and godly husband. :)
---Mary on 10/9/13|
shayb, praise the Lord, you are right. that's why we have churches, pastors and missionaries.
---shira4368 on 10/6/13|
You all here are getting the wrong idea.
God wants EVERYONE to be saved,
We are HIS creation, and He so longs to see everyone enter the kingdom of heaven.
The bible warns us not to have relationships with non believers -because it could change us to conform into them. And the bible tells us "be not conformed to the ways of this world."
A relationship with a non believer is fine as long as you bring him/her to know Christ, and if they truly do care about you, they'll come.
---Shay_B on 10/5/13|
Jesie drop this guy as Bill has said.
If he cares for you he will seek the Lord. Otherwise a good relationship for you with him is impossible.
"it is your responsibility as a believer to witness to the world..."
Well, now, Mark why would it do any good to witness to anyone? You claim that God has chosen who is going to be saved and who is going to be lost already.
Another nail placed in your coffin of ignorance of the Word.
You don't even know what you believe do you?
---Elder on 8/13/13|
Just recently I was in this dilemma. I was dating a very warm, kind, and gorgeous moslem man. After struggling together for a year, my priest told me to pray to God that His will not mine, be done in my relationship with Sammy. Immediately, within weeks the whole thing came crumbling apart. So, when The Lord makes something clear, who else's will would you put first? Pray these words, and let God lead you. Your situation may be different. One message I got was, to always be welcoming in the faith...even with Sammy, now.
---Marianne_Poulos on 8/13/13|
Bella, you are completely wrong. You say, did Jesus not hang around unbelievers and witnessed to them, Jesus is God and He could convert anyone He so pleased. You are not Jesus Christ and you can convert no one. God does the converting, not you. You can witness to as many people that you want, and if God does not want to save them, they will not be saved. You have nothing to do with saving someone, it is your responsibility as a believer to witness to the world, not to save them. Marrying someone outside your faith is not a commandment, it is recommendation to believers so that they can avoid the consequences of what can happen to them, be aware, the warning is there.
---Mark_V. on 3/23/13|
More likely, your boyfriend will help you become like him which is opposite of the goal you express which is that he become a lover of God like you. Do you love your boyfriend more than you love God as you seek a boyfriend who does not love God like you. But to answer your question, what did Leah do to get Jacob to love her and what is prescribed in 1 Peter 3:1?
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. I myself like Leah and Ruth.
---born on 3/22/13|
IF you go against God's word and counsel to join yourself to an unbeliever, whom are you going to call upon(for help) when the embedded problems(that God wants you to avoid) comes?
---Adetunji on 3/21/13|
hey sweetie. i am christian and i too am dating a nonbeliever. i understand what your going through. and i know its very painful to let go of someone u already fell in love with. i am also hurt by wat other ppl are saying on this blog bout being unequally yoke. yes this scripture is correct but wen ppl idolize this passage it makes them look stingy. like their too good to hang out with nonbelievers. aren't christians suppose to be building bridges towards others and not walls? Did jesus not hang around the sinners in the book of Matthews? He did! Praise God! But he didn't do wat they did. He witnessed to them and those ppl changed their hearts to follow God. ^_^
---Bella on 3/16/13|
(continued...) i am not a heart breaker. jesus never broke my heart. i do not have the rites to break anyone else's heart. i love God a lot too and i could care less if my bf is with me or not. he's jus a human being and so am i. our own love can never satisfy each other. we need God's divine love to keep our relationship growing. i agreed to date my bf bc he's been good to me. he bought me all kinds of gifts: food, clothing, flowers, expensive JEWELRIES! and im not even his wife yet! he tells me that he loves me for who i am. i have faith that God could save him too.
---Bella on 3/16/13|
If however your life in [CHRIST] is not [SOLID] in the [WORD] (which it could not be) by your question, you are in for a Very Long Hard and life/soul threatening Awakening...If you think you can convince him after marrying him.
Advice: take a plane... in the [OPPOSITE DIRECTION] and keep going first!
---Carla on 8/6/12|
whomever the moderator is, is right on! missionary dating does not work and only will expose yourself to trauma in the years to come that you were never created to experience.
do not even think of getting involved with someone whom you can not observe is already a Christian, preferably as mature or more, in the faith than you.
so you love him? you never should have given him the time of day. any pain you feel in walking away is on you - the Bible clearly tells you to - not get involved.
think he loves you? not if he is not a Christian because he can not understand what love is. hormones, yeah, he can understand those.
---Chip on 8/2/12|
you cannot, in any way make him feel what you feel. no one feels the exact way as someone else. there is always some little thing different. you are dating him for the wrong reasons. if you love him continue witnessing to him for his own salvation.
---Tom on 5/18/12|
Maybe try waterboarding
....heheh, naugh just kidding. I agree with the moderator. Here is some scriptural advice from the Apostle Paul:
2Co6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Only God can change the heart. Pray for him. That's all you can do.
---trey on 5/17/12|
First I don't think anyone wants him like you. I don't think he wants to be like you either. I know for sure that no one wants him or anyone like me.
We all want him and you to be like Christ. If you are like Christ and display your life and actions in the manner of Christ that will be enough to draw him to the Lord.
---Elder on 5/17/12|
It is wrong to date a non believer.Stop dating him unless he changes his way and becomes a christian.
---shirley on 5/17/12|
lead him through godly examples...
---mj on 5/17/12|
i think u should break up... never put ur faith at risk...give him up for God...for our God is all powerful to give him bak to u n His own tym....pray for him...Gods will is important more than ours....
---feba on 5/17/12|
I will say you should always pray for him,advice him to come with you to church
Who knows if he truly loves you he and wanna to be with you he'll change.
And I pray help him
---Royal-diadem on 2/28/12|
Jesie, If you are a genuine believer, you can never lose your salvation. You are eternally saved. When God gives us instructions, it is for our own good. There is chastizment for believers. Sometimes bad, sometimes not so bad. Just like you cannot make anyone love you, you cannot make anyone love God. We love Him because He first loved us. You can pray for his salvation, help him by speaking the truth to him because there is power in the Word of God. Obey the Bible first. There is many good guys/ girls out there not saved, sometimes much kinder then those who call themselves Christians. We pray for relative and others because we know in our hearts that only God can change their hearts towards Christ. Please, depend on God for everything.
---Mark_V. on 2/20/12|
Whats wrong with you people?god has a reason for everything, maybe he put this guy in your path, so you be the reason he reaches god, its like saying i know your gna fall a cliff, but i wont do anything to help you so u wont fall if u leave him . if this guy is unbeliever we all know wheres going, god loves sinners and unbelievers, he wants them to know him.so the be saved and u shd guide him to god, see all you can do is guide him n introduce him who your god is , if he doesnt want to accept that then leave him we dont anyone to go to hell,try your best to show him who the truth and light is. so he believe. unbelievers dont know him and its our duty to show them our lord.
---Mil on 2/19/12|
(part 1) So many people are quoting the verse about not yoking with non-believers. Have you not studied your Bible at all? It has nothing to do with marriage. This was in a letter written by Paul to the Corinthian Church, who, like many times before, was accepting pagan ritual and idol worship into the faith. He was telling them to not be of the world's beliefs. Our own modern churches are FILLED with pagan rituals and you don't even realize it. How hypocritical you all are!
---Kris on 2/1/12|
I am a Christian and was married to a Christian man who left me straight after the loss of our baby. Years later I have rebuilt my life with a non Christian man who loves and treats me with more respect than I have ever known possible. He is a very decent honest and kind man whom has never been as blessed as myself with the teachings of our Lord. Maybe I am his chance to know The Lord.. (my family disagree). I do not want to compromise my Faith I love Jesus more, but don't want to leave my man behind. I wasn't left behind, don't we all deserve a chance to know The Lord?...
---Angel on 9/5/11|
that is sad you have created an idol out of this man
what you are really saying is I want this man and to do so I want to rub the genie bottle called "god" and get a group together to pray he accepts my beliefs under the guise it is "for his sake"
imagine your boyfriend has asked his friends and family to pray that you stop this religious nonsense and follow/serve/accept whatever beliefs he has??
remember the wisest man who ever lived was taken AWAY from God by his pagan wives
if you TRULY wanted this man to follow you than you would LEAD by example and work out your OWN salvation AS TAUGHT in Holy Scripture ...many women have desperately led many men to deceive them
---Rhonda on 8/26/11|
You're a believer trying to yoke with a nonbeliever. You can't make him love God. Follow God's Word, and leave this guy alone.
---Mary_R on 8/19/11|
Yes I confess that I am a believer in Missionary dating. At the beginning of our relationship, I told him what I believe. And he respects it. I have taken him to my church, and I gave him a summary of the Bible called "The Story" and I pray that he will read the Bible. And rather you guys telling me I am going to fail. I would rather you pray with me. I want desperately for him to come to the Lord, and that God would just change his heart. I don't want my boyfriend to feel obligated to except the Lord for my sake, but for his own. I love him. And want to share my life with him. If it is God's will. So I ask you as sisters to pray with me, for me, and for him.
---Emily on 8/16/11|
I agree that you shouldn't be unequally yoked with your boyfriend/girlfriend, or even husband. But if you're married to a unbeliever then I suggest PRAY! Read marriage books by Christian authors, and seek Godly marriage consoling. God hates divorce. And He also hates taking things or people away from you. If you think that your boyfriend is dragging you down and stopping your growth then I think you should let him go.
---Emily on 8/16/11|
Continuation.... If the man knows where you stand. And holds you to your word but still is unequally yoked. I don't believe you should ever give up on that person instead show them God's unconditional love. What I do believe in is that you should put the relationship on a pause and give him time to think and also time for you to pray and read the Bible so that you can answer any of the questions he has of the bible or of your beliefs. I am dating a non-believer boyfriend. And he is a wonderful man who respects me. It is lonely when you don't have someone who has the same beliefs as you, but that makes me snuggle up with God more.
---Emily on 8/16/11|
I know you hate to lose your boyfriend if you both ,really love each other. You could have a heart to heart with him and tell him your deepest and truest, feelings about this. Let him know what the bible says about being unequally yoked and so on. Show it to him in he bible. Offer to disciple(teach,help) him,yourself. Try this and see what happens. If no changes or he refuses to do anything differently(in a certain amount of time), you may have to find another boyfriend. Make sure he is born again or you will be repeating the same mistake.
---Robyn on 12/8/10|
I heard this at our youth service this weekend ~
The adversary wants to slip you a Mickey to slow you down. If you are running to God yourself, look to the left and look to the right. If your boyfriend isn't outrunning you in the pursuit of God, leave him behind. An unequal yoke makes for an unequal walk and a hard row to plow. If you have put your hand to the plow, don't look back even if it's your boyfriend you are looking at. The potential husband should be leading in the pursuit of God before he ever leads a household.
---Linda on 12/7/10|
Young---Anybody whose goal is to "make someone be like me and my friends" is doomed to failure.
Your efforts would be better directed if you put God first, ahead of your boyfriend. It might be more persuasive too, IF you really want your boyfriend to know and love God.
But if you just want him to be like you...what makes you think that will happen? Maybe, instead, you'll become like him, being gradually more and more indifferent to God.
It's time to make a choice.
Who is most important in your life?
---Donna66 on 12/7/10|
I say that breaking up with him is the wrong thing to do.. my boyfriend doesnt believe in God either, but i still love him. im trying to direct him in the right direction.. you shouldnt leave him stranded. like someone said in a comment earlier, Jesus wouldnt walk away. you shouldnt either. press your faith, and hold it tight. God will reward you greatly for that.. he tells you to spread the word and do not forget others..
---Young on 12/5/10|
A man who Honers God is what you should treasure. He should be Hotter for God's
Love than just hot for you. His love for God must be warmer than your Love for God.
---Timothy on 7/20/09|
I agree with you Mark,
What women don't understand when choosing a husband it is imperative that you chose wisely this person needs to be a man of Gods own heart he needs to at least demonstrate that when you have children one is not going to pull one way and the other pulling in the opposite direction.
What can a man without god achieve for you he cannot pray for you ,he cannot teach you, he cannot give any Spiritual guidance because he is of the world(devil) His life is not saturated in the word so where's the communion for some women it's the bed/status/lust but it is certainly not Godly for to Love God you need to obey God to stay in the vine!.
---Carla3939 on 7/19/09|
Carla, your answers were very correct. I believe whole heartedly with your answer. People have changed after been married but we have really no guarantee just as you have said. And Christians do not live by chance or fate, we live by faith that what God recommends to us is always right.
---MarkV. on 7/18/09|
You can not make anyone love God! First, God has to love them enough to save them. Love for God more more as you grow, takes growth.
---catherine on 7/18/09|
Carla 2: In my last sentence, I meant a person has no guarantee that God would change the heart of someone who is married and lost. Sometimes they stay lost forever. Other times by the believers example they too come to Christ, its happen many times, but no guarantee, but there is always a struggle in the marriage.
I suppose just realizing that we don't have the power to convert anyone should be a clue for us not to marry someone who is lost.
---MarkV. on 7/18/09|
Carla, this is how I interpret Scripture concerning this topic. God has rules we should follow, He also has commands we need to do. Whatever He has is for our own good. He Knows when we sin, we will suffer the consequences. It isn't that God doesn't want us happy, and restricts us from many things, it is that He cares for Our well being. When we enter into a relationship with someone who is lost, we are taking a chance where we have been warned. For one, no one can change another person. We don't have that power. God is the only One who can change a heart. He along. The moderator is correct, get out of the relationship. There is no question that God has turned a heart before, but there is no gurantee it will happen again.
---Mark_V on 7/17/09|
Okay it may not be completely impossible but it's almost as just as difficult!
---Carla3939 on 7/16/09|
I have watched a married couple one get saved and the other come to the Lord through the wife's example. But to take a man out the world and expect him to change his beliefs is like taking a stone from the garden and making bread!
---Carla3939 on 7/16/09|
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are you saying she should disobey God by pretending to obey God?
Do we have to date under the pretext of saving a soul? what about her own soul?
some people like to please themselves under the pretext of trying to save a soul... you cannot fool God nor others... you will only be fooling yourself..
because even the non-christians know that it is disobedience to the Bible for a believer to marry/date an unbeliever
so in effect you will actually be a bad example..
---PAT on 7/13/09|
To break up with someone because they are non believers would not be something Jesus would do. He would help teach the ways, lead by example, love that person no matter what. Be a good christian and lead that person down the right path. Show them how the bible applies to any and every situation of our lives. Show them the word of the Lord is a great thing and a wonderful way of life. Show them the things that God has to offer-it's a really cool feeling to know you have a relationship with God.
---Leslie on 7/9/09|
How can you make a cow bark? Easier to do than change your boyfriend. This is going to have to be his decision. God does not force us to love him or serve him. We either love him or hate him. No middle ground.
---Robyn on 12/15/08|
so many people have strong opinions on dating a non-believer. But hun, i used to be a non-believer and i was saved. Jesus is working on my heart and the Lord is working on my boyfriends heart, who is slowly becoming a believer. It is beautiful to be a part of. Just pray for him. There is a battle going on for his soul right now sweety. so you have to pray for him, pray that god will work on your heart so your boyfriend can see the change in you so he will want to have what you have. Being yoked together is being married. so i think you should have time to think about your relationship!
---Meagan on 11/30/08|
First and foremost, do NOT put God in a box. He is the God of all impossibilties and his plans for your life may take an unusual path if HE wills it. To know his will you need to spend quality time with him, in prayer and pondering on the word of God. Listen to what God has to say to you. Always remember that if it is not his will, that he has infinitely better things in store for you, and if he wills it, His peace will wash over you. We serve an awesome God! I have seen people who have come to know and love the lord intimitately because of their girlfriends/boyfriends. However, always seeks the Lord, and he will answer all your desires in his time. But be willing to put your life in his hand, and completely give up to his maneuvering.
---Sally_Bloomfield on 11/11/08|
You are asking the impossible,almost. Just be an example before him and pray he will begin to take notice of the fruits of the Spirit, I hope, you are displaying. Don't hold your breath,though.
sometimes we want things that we cannot and may never have. The bottom line: you may have to stop dating him and find another as the mod, has already said. Even then, there is no guarantee.Everyone claiming to be a Christian, is not.
---Robyn on 10/21/08|
I just recently went through the same situation.Its so Hard.My x bf did not know God. I tried to share with him but he showed little interest. Only God can change his heart and he has to be open to God first. I broke up with him because it was holding me back from growing in my own faith.He actually told me he wished i was how i used to be.(b4 i knew God. Although it is so hard to let go of relationships when you've been in them for long periods of time its not worth it if it stunts your spiritual growth. When you let go you have to look to God for all strength.God wants you to rely on him alone.Called getting rid of false "securities" or what separates you from God.Share God with him. And ask God to Open his heart.
---Melissa_Fritz on 10/17/08|
People can't change another. Only God change a person, if the person really wants to. A person has to be completely sold out to God in all areas of their lives. To act as to please and say what you want another to hear, doesn't cut it. Both individuals are probably too weak. Each person in a relationship, will want God to be first in each other's life, before it should become the "Boy friend Girl friend thing". The reason is, you'll be tempted into what you shouldn't be into. Been there, done that. God First, if you ever have anyone or not. The same with a future romance as well. Obedience first and always, will bring forth real blessings.
---Robert on 8/18/08|
I have a friend and her husband was Christian, but he didn't had a personal relation with God and was somehow confused. But now he is changed. She helped him to discover the love of God. Even if you date someone that is not sure about his eternity with God, you can be an example, cause you'll know how to act so that you'll be a joy for God and also make the guy to ask some questions about you and your guide in life ... :)
---Maria on 8/18/08|
Dating evangelism - the highway to unequally yoked marriage partners.
---lisa on 6/15/08|
Moderator is right on with his/her answer. Sometimes we Christians use evangelism as an excuse for some awful things (dating non-believers, hanging out in bars/clubs, hanging out with people while they're doing ungodly things)
---Todd1 on 6/15/08|
When i started going out with my boyfriend he wasn't a christian or rather wasn't a very strong one at all. my dad is a pastor and he has no problems with my boyfriend. but in the past couple of months i've really seen a great change in my boyfriend. i don't believe that this girl has to break up with this guy in order for him to become a christian. she needs to encourage him to spend time with God and help him with any questions he has. she can also do devotionals with him, and go to church together.
---gbobina on 6/14/08|
The Moderator and Madison are completely right. You should not be unequally yoked with him. Why do you think you can convince him to believe the Bible, when he can tell that you don't really believe it yourself?
---Ktisophilos on 7/15/07|
If you love him your let him go. As long as you stay in a relationship with him you are blocking the Holy Spirit from working in him- through your disobedience in being unequally yoked. If you love someone let them go, if they were really yours they will come back.
---Marcia on 7/14/07|
The Moderator is right on and has given you the correct solution. You need to get yourself together, by obeying God and leave this person alone. You cannot change yourself, let alone, changing someone else. Wise up. You are sinning by being unequally yoked with this fellow. You need to repent.
---Robyn on 7/14/07|
You cannot. Only the true, living, God can change someones heart.
---catherine on 7/14/07|
You can not make someone into something they are not. To be a Christian ones heart has to be open to God. You can not open his heart, only he and God can.
The Bible urges us NOT to be unequally yoked, this means a Christian is not to date a non-christian. Everyone is different you do not change someone to be like you or your friends. There is no such thing as missionary dating it is called unequally yoked and it is wrong
---Marla on 7/14/07|
You can't make anyone love and serve God, it is not under your control. God is the only one that can change that person's heart. You can however continue to intercede for that person and show them what a GODLY lifestyle looks like through YOUR actions. After all if you are living foul along with your boyfriend it will be a lot harder to bring him to Christ.
---A_Cobb on 3/12/07|
Well, honey, i think thats not possible for you to do. Remember when you got saved? Who convicted your heart, it was the Holy Spirit. Not man!! You can pray for him, but i suspect that your being with him sends a mesage to him that ur salvation is not that important to you if you are willing to break God's law (not being yoked with unbelievers).
Sorry girl you have to loose him.
---juliet on 3/5/07|
Girl,do what makes you happy.If YOU can't be with someone that doesn't share in your beliefs,then you shouldn't be together.You can't expect to change him.I believe in God,But my boyfriend doesnt.I've talked to him,and he doesnt want to change,so I'm not going to force him.I love him,and our son,and I don't think it's up to me to judge him.My advise-you need to make yourself happy before you think about what other people think.God won't be as critical as the people you're asking.Remember that :)
---jenn on 2/16/07|
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I've been a Christian example to my husband for our 29 years of marriage and even that has not changed him. If you want a Godly husband and home, find a new boyfriend who is already a devoted Christian!
---Demetria on 11/8/05|
I was once given the advice "Never date someone you wouldn't be willing to marry." As a Christian, we're not supposed to be "unequally yoked" ... meaning a nonbeliever and a believer should not get married (see II Cor. 6:14). Therefore, hard as it may be, I recommend that you only be friends with him (quit dating him) and pray for him. Prayer is one of the most effective ways you "get someone to" come to love God. Above all else, keep your focus on Jesus Christ.
---ginge4554 on 11/7/05|
You can't.Break up with him.
---Sun on 11/7/05|
I know that you are not really hearing what you would like to hear from the other blogs and for that i am thankful. Take it from someone who has been there. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM. Keyword--you. Only God can do that. That doesn't mean you have to turn your back on him completley but if you stay with him he will pull you down with him. Law of gravity--It is easier to pull someone down than it is to pull someone up. Don't, I repeat, don't put your faith at risk by being with him.
---Kaleo on 10/11/05|
It may seem very hard at times to obey God, It is for our own well being "be not unequally yoked to an unbeliever". This will cause alot of heartache in the long run. Guard your heart!
---Rosa_Copeland on 10/10/05|
While I certainly agree with the other blogs, let us look at another angle. What does he like or expect from you??
Should you deny him that attention to get to his mind and soul so that he is receptive to the work of the Holy Spirit? Until he is receptive, your relationship is going to be strained and more importantly you put your faith at risk. When we go into rescue mode, we put our faith on the line. Are you strong enough in your faith to risk losing it or your boy friend?
---chuck on 10/10/05|
Since we all come to God on our own time. The best we can do is live by example. As for dating him, at least give him the reason why you are breaking up, but still try and encourage him to learn and know God for himself.
---geraa7578 on 10/10/05|
Praise the Lord my sister! Do not hope to change your boyfriend, all you can do is to share with him the word of God. Another advice i'd like to give although u didn't request for it, stop the relationship. I know how hard it is but when u've done the first step, pray, God will fill your heart with peace and joy. Be blessed!
---kalig8456 on 10/10/05|
You can't make anyone do something they don't want to do. If your boyfriend is an unbeliever, and you are a believer, then you should stop dating him.
---Madison on 10/9/05|
You can't! You are only fooling yourself if you think you can. He may 'fake' it until you get married, but than change back. While it may be tough, you had best break-up.
---WIVV on 10/9/05|
You can't make your boyfriend love God! He has to choose for himself when God pricks his heart. We are not to be unequally yolked. This my sister is the way it was put to me you may think you can change them but you are putting yourself at risk for backsliding cause you will be putting yourself in a position where temptation is hard to resist. If they aren't saved when you meet them chances are they aren't going to change for you. GOD Bless!
---Donna7663 on 10/9/05|
I am also dating someone who is not a christian and I have been for almost two years, I know that we are not to be unqually yoked, but it is my opinion that we are not to turn our back on the unsaved also. If I were to leave him just because he was not in church then he may never get there again, I feel like I am his way or guide so to speak into the light. - sherr9575
Moderator - We are to witness to the unsaved not date them. This is in direct disobedience to the scripture.
---Sherry on 10/9/05|
You can't. He has to have this desire to do so. If he don't have the desire to love God then you can't make him. You can show him how much you love God, but you can't make somebody do something when their heart isn't in it.
---Rebecca_D on 10/9/05|