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Pushy Lady In Our Church

There's a lady at church who is a hard worker & a wonderful person, but once in awhile, she doesn't hesitate to pick up a phone & tell you what you should be doing or not. Because of this, several have left the church & she has no clue. It's like two different people in one. How do you handle?

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 ---Cathy_Y on 10/9/05
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I hate unsolicited advice. Seriously. I'd just say "Thank you...___name___" . Sometimes people need to feel needed and soften up a bit. SOMEtimes I said. Other times just dont give her the ammo to dictate you your life. Discern if you really feel God's speaking through her, and if not, Keep answers to prying questions vague and quick. Then ask God to bless her bunches.
---Nicola on 4/7/08


Maybe it's time for someone to give her, "a clue". If she's doing this, and doesn't know it, she will probably stop once she finds out. However, be tactful, but don't hint to her about what is happening. If you just drop hints, she'll think you are talking about someone else.
---WIVV on 4/5/08


The bible has already told us how to handle situations such as this. First: If your brother/sister offends you, you should go to that person. Next, if that doesn't work bring in someone to talk with both of you (preferbably an advisor, minister, or another leader in the church). Finally if that does not work, you should take it before the church. But most importantly pray, pray, and pray.
---Mary on 7/30/07


This need to be brought to the attention of the leadership in the church or the pastor. I would think the pastor would very concerned over this type behavior from this woman. After all he is suppose to be the Head leader there, overlooking the flock. If she has overstepped her boundaries and run a sheep away from home, the pastor need to handle this or a team of leadership. Whatever discipline they have in place need to be used.
---Robyn on 7/30/07


i think if it offends you,you should go to her and tell her how you feel,pray first,she probably thinks it alright to be the way she is ,we dont see our own faults tell her in love
---nikki on 7/30/07




cathy, I couldn't help but chuckle at what u wrote. It seems like there's a lady like that in every church! They're nothing more than busybodies, overacheivers who think they can earn pennies in heaven! I think the best thing to do and talk to your pastor about this lady and others on the commitee.
---taylor on 11/4/05


Madison, I think the difference is that the method of asking involves tact. Asking or telling,admonishing, or selling the idea of contributing talents is different depending on the situation. Our church uses a questionaire to help the individual to find his best talents and is given the choice of how he/she can uses them to further the Kingdom voluntarily in the congregation. Sometimes, members take it upon themselves to admonish those who need to get started.
---chuck on 10/10/05


Chuck: My church does things a lot differently. The leadership of a ministry looks at the congregation and sees people with the gifts to serve in an area of need. The recruiter then approaches the person, telling them what they see in the person that would fit the need and ASKS, doesn't order, the person if they would pray and consider serving in that area of need. Big difference between someone just telling people what they should do.
---Madison on 10/10/05


This lady has fire in her soul to get things done. One must involve people who do not volunteer to be involved. This grates on some peoples conscience. For example, how many months, years, eclipses do you keep members on the roll who neither contribute or attend. Write em, fone em, try to reach them and they may be offended. They should be.
Any organization has a group of people who work to get things done. We can choose to be a part of them or watch and grumble.
---chuck on 10/10/05


Several of you may need to get together and lovingly & gently explain to her what she is doing is wrong. Back it up with scripture if you can. If she does not change, and is causing problems in your church because of it, talk to your pastor about it.
---Melissa on 10/10/05




It sounds like she does not respect people's boundaries. Give her a copy of the book "Boundaries" and ask her to read it. Tell her to call you when she finishes reading it and tell her why you gave it to her.
---Madison on 10/9/05


Matthew 18:15-20. The person who has been wronged needs to confront the woman and work it out amongst themselves if possible. Next time she picks up that phone, advise the person on the other end of it to read Matthew and apply what they have read.
---Katie on 10/9/05


Hi Kathy,
I'm sorry that 2 people left the church i would let the pushy lady know what she is doing wrong but tell her nicely
---Angela on 10/9/05


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