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Should My Wife Take Me Back

I was emotional, verbally, physically abusive at times with a one-night stand during our marriage of ten years. My wife kicked me out and filed for divorce. Since then, I have gone to counseling, made changes in my life, and have found God. Since I am remorseful should she at least give me a chance?

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 ---David on 10/10/05
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In God's eyes, should we try and work through our problems. What I am asking is, should she consider counseling with me?
---David on 4/2/08

Depends on where she is in Christ, and what you did to her. I would not say yes she should because it is not a matter of yes or no. It's a matter of how confident are you that you have changed and if you know her well you should know if you can win her back on grounds of what you have done. She may have moved on which leaves you serving God single for the rest of your life or you will commit Adultery terrible price to pay for your marriage but a wonderful life in God.
---Carla5754 on 4/12/07

I guess you should ask yourself would you take you back. You must realize that people can only take so much before they lose their own minds. I will pray that Gods will is done in your marriage situation.
---javita on 4/11/07

Negative behavior in relationships does come with consequences. Your wife is not obligated to do anything toward a reconciliation with you. You can pray and seek the Lord for your marriage. That does not guarantee that your wife will change her mind. Abuse victims that have filed for divorce rarely go back to their abusers, even if the abuser has changed. It defies logic.

Instead of worrying about reconciling, I suggest you work on stengthening your relationship with the Lord.
---Madison on 10/21/05

you may have changed the way you were but she may never be able to let go of what you did,if you got back together she may throw it in your face for how you were.If it is GODS willl then youll be together.good fortune to you!
---wendy on 10/21/05

Love keeps no record of wrongdoing (1 Cor.13) and covers a multitude of sin. Whether she is willing to at least give you a chance is probably going to depend a lot on her maturity in the Lord. Trust, once broken, is hard to repair but not impossible in the Lord.
---Linda_Smith on 10/12/05

David you should be given nothing.
Now, EARNING a second chance is different.
You fought her and she fought you now the bill is on the table.
If you want her back you will have to pay the price.
She still may not come back you will have to prepare for that also.
Sin for a season is always fun but there is that payday someday.
---Elder on 10/11/05

I'm not clear whether your wife is a Christian or not. If she is I hope that she will forgive you but that doesn't necessarily mean she should or would take you back. You did exactly what you wanted to do now she might tell you that she's moved on and intends to do exactly what she wants to do. Your question is SHOULD she take you back. My answer is that it is entirely up to HER. No-one else has the right to say what she SHOULD do.
---M.P. on 10/11/05

Without knowing all the details of your particular situation, I would say that your wife had biblical reasons to divorce you, so if she is unwilling to take you back -- I would still ask for her forgiveness and then move on with your life.
---Debbie on 10/11/05

"repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord" (Acts 3:19). Sorry I did not answer your question earlier in regards to me being remorseful or if I have repent.
---David on 10/11/05

She has a man in her life that was a friend that she has kissed. She has been emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. I do love her and yes I would take her back if she did this to me.
---David on 10/11/05

I cannot answer that question because I don't know all the issues or time involved.
What I do know is that REMORSE is not REPENTANCE.
And, finding God is different from accepting Christ as Saviour, although He is God.
Your wife may need healing and time.
If you want her, it is time to start courting her like you really love her. By the way you never said that.
---Elder on 10/11/05

Would you take your wife back, if she done to you what you done to her?
---NaHoKa on 10/11/05

Praise the Lord brother, thanks very much for accepting the Lord as your personal saviour.
Now what your wife required from you is exactly what you did, Change and reconciliation, let her give you another chance for your a new creature now in Christ the Lord.
---Maya7898 on 10/11/05

David, the answer to your question will depend solely on your wife. If she still loves you, then maybe, you still have a chance. If she no longer does, then you will have a problem.
---Linda6546 on 10/11/05

It would be nice for you if she did take you back but I don't think she's obligated to. I know I wouldn't.
---ann on 10/10/05

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It really depends on a number of factors. 1. What type of counseling did you have? 2. What changes did you make in your life that would convience her to take you back?
3. Are the changes you made just an emotional change that will not last, or permanent changes?
4. Has she remarried?
5. Does she "know God"?
6. Is she aware of your changes, first hand.
In one way she should consider it - BUT, only if you had abuse counseling.
---WIVV on 10/10/05

that is up to her not up to strangers who do not know your hearts. I was in a marraige where I was emotionally abused as well and he cheated too. I can tell you it leaves scars for a lifetime. She may forgive you but that does not mean she has to put herself back into the relationship. It is not only you that needed help. SHE NEEDS to HEAL as well.
---Marla on 10/10/05

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